NASA Is Looking For Someone To Protect Earth From Aliens -- And the Job Pays a Six-Figure Salary (cnbc.com) 164
An anonymous reader shares a report: Ever fancied yourself as a bit of a hero? How about the protector of mankind? Well now NASA is looking for just that -- and it'll pay a six-figure salary for the honor. The U.S. space agency is currently in search not of life on other planets but of a "Planetary Protection Officer," who can protect Earth and its inhabitants from alien invasion. The job, which is offering a salary of between $124,406 and $187,000 per year, involves preventing alien microbes from contaminating the Earth, as well as ensuring human space explorers do not damage other planets, moons and objects in space. "Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration," NASA wrote in the job posting on its website late last month. Other duties include advising Safety Mission Assurance officials on planetary protection matters and ensuring compliance by robotic and human spaceflight missions.
Re:Yawn (Score:5, Funny)
So they are just looking for someone who can leverage existing basic isolation protocols to create additional protocols for returning missions.
No ray guns involved. :-(
Yes but what a great job title. Imagine having "Planetary Protection Office" on your business cards
Re:Yawn (Score:5, Funny)
Yes but what a great job title. Imagine having "Planetary Protection Office" on your business cards
As long as you're not an Illegal Alien.
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Illegal alien? I'll sign up!
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"Illegal Alien Hunter" is probably no going to go down well on that card.
Planetary Protection LTG USAF is better (Score:2)
Planetary Protection LTG USAF is better
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Stargate (tv shows) reference
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So they are just looking for someone who can leverage existing basic isolation protocols to create additional protocols for returning missions.
No ray guns involved. :-(
Yes but what a great job title. Imagine having "Planetary Protection Office" on your business cards
But you have to supply your own sunglasses.
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Peril sensitive?
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Peril sensitive?
Ray Bans will do, as long as they shield you from the effects of the neuralyzer.
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. . .and of course, Black Suit, thin Black Tie, and Sunglasses. . . .
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Right, but you only have to buy the suit once.
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Hopefully they get issued a nice shiny metallic badge in a leather case. I would then intentionally speed around in my car hopefully to get pulled over by the police, then leave my badge out on my dash.
"Oh that? Yeah I am a Planetary Protection Officer..."
"I think he might outrank us..."
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"Whatever the problem, solve it with fire!"
That's how they do it on the planet Flame.
Re:Yawn (Score:5, Insightful)
Most of the work of planetary protection is just the opposite, preventing Earth microbes from contaminating other worlds. It's just a fancy word for sterilization of spacecraft, and it's stupid that Slashdot is trying to play it up like this. It's like someone who knows nothing about computers writing an article about Google posting an ad for a webmaster, with the headline "Google Seeks Man To Rule The Web!"
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Actually, the original CNBC article is at fault here. It opens as stupid and sensational, without actually attempting to accurately describe the position until the 3rd frigging paragraph.
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Octorian pointed out:
Actually, the original CNBC article is at fault here. It opens as stupid and sensational, without actually attempting to accurately describe the position until the 3rd frigging paragraph.
So, in other words, business as usual for cable news "journalism" ... ?
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Now come on Rei. There is little humor and warmth left in our world. Most of our headlines involve either the Trumps doing something short term insane, the climate doing something long term horrible or Slashdot editors mangling a bunch of clickbait stories.
Oh. Wait.
Re: Yawn (Score:2)
I am expecting:
You'll be mad when you read about this newest exploit in IoT!
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As long as you know not to click the link, it won't really matter what the story was.
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Does it involve blue goo and Vulcans?
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Sadly not, but what about the dresscode policy on capes?
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pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew!
Oh no, missed.
I'm assuming (Score:2)
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Ideocracy New Hire (Score:2)
Sgt. Keller: "Follow me upstairs, like, now."
Joe: "Right now? W-- Shouldn't I train this guy?"
Sgt. Keller: "I think he can figure out how to sit on his ass and watch TV all day."
Re: Zenos paradox (Score:2)
He had more than one. That one is about the man and a tortoise having a race. His problem was that he used chunks of time, as opposed to arrows of time. He was brilliant, in his day. He was a true philosopher who really lent a lot to the concept of infinity. I'm sure Wikipedia has an article.
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"There are an infinite number of halves." No, only finite.
On the other hand, there is probably an infinite number of halve-nots.
It's a colorful way of describing a mundane job (Score:2)
Re:It's a colorful way of describing a mundane job (Score:5, Insightful)
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I thought it was odd the emphasis on physical sciences and engineering versus experience in microbiology or infectious disease. A university biosafety officer is going to understand how to sterilize things better than a physicist.
True, but a biosafety officer would tend to have a narrower view of the possible scope of risks. Since no one knows exactly what risks to consider it seems better to get a generalist who can consult with specialists, rather than the reverse.
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True, but a biosafety officer would tend to have a narrower view of the possible scope of risks. Since no one knows exactly what risks to consider it seems better to get a generalist who can consult with specialists, rather than the reverse.
Obviously as with most things, the simplest solution is the best: launch high yield nukes in every direction and don't send people in the other directions. 100% guaranteed contamination free (so long as they don't wait too long and orbits shift around.)
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why would a mathematician be a good generalist for a position like this?
Because mathematicians are good at everything. :P (My degree is in mathematics)
Is there some reason you think a physicist would be better? This job is about abstract analysis of an unknown problem space. What you need is someone who is smart, logical, thorough and able to think very broadly about the problem. Mathematicians and physicists both seem very appropriate to me. Engineers... maybe less so. And even for mathematicians, the posting requires "24 semester hours in physical science and/or related eng
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Nothing against mathematicians, but I suppose as a microbiologist the physics and engineering seems more 'applied' to me offhand, so perhaps more experience with killing things at some point.
But that's experience with killing terrestrial organisms. That's what I meant about a narrow view.
I guess a mathematician and physicist would be needed to help figure out how to kill a super intelligent shade of the color blue.
:-)
Or an organism based on an entirely different biochemistry, which our typical approaches to sterilization wouldn't touch.
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But that's experience with killing terrestrial organisms. That's what I meant about a narrow view.
That's one difference; a mathematician won't care that the job description is about killing terrestrial organisms to keep them from infecting other planets, instead they'll take the list of words in the job description, list the Latin and Greek roots, and then define their own whole system of what they should really be doing based on a careful study of etymology.
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Nah. Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be SURE. . . (grin)
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When in doubt, kill it with fire.
What if it feeds on fire? We're talking about non-terrestrial biology here.
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It's the government for you. I remember seeing an audio/video tech job posted on the USA Jobs website. It was nothing special, similar to an IT job and only paid around $55k at the time (not many years ago). However, they wanted the person to have a PhD!
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mtmra70 sneered
It's the government for you. I remember seeing an audio/video tech job posted on the USA Jobs website. It was nothing special, similar to an IT job and only paid around $55k at the time (not many years ago). However, they wanted the person to have a PhD!
It's not just the government, friend. I recall an ad in the SF Chronicle back in 1996 seeking a webmaster for a corporate site. Among the requirements was 7 years experience in HTML coding - which I found pretty amusing, given that Sir Tim created the very first web browser ever in 1989.
The problem is that HR people rarely have the slightest clue as to the actual skill set required for any given technical position, so they just pile on the qualifications without the slightest regard for their
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I thought it was odd the emphasis on physical sciences and engineering versus experience in microbiology or infectious disease. A university biosafety officer is going to understand how to sterilize things better than a physicist.
My guess is that they already have the people who figured out the sterilization process, and this positions is to track the designers work to make sure it will with stand and allow the process. Will those gaskets be attacked by the sterilzation agents? Are there any trapped compartments that can't be sterilized when the outer surface is? If so, how can the plans be altered so that everything gets properly sterilized?
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That is not the biggest problem, the biggest problem is that there is no way to even assess the applicants, or the job that they do once they get hired, Unless we have an alien invasion, but then it will be too late.
You have described a problem with no practical description. There is no way of knowing the technology, they have, their psychology apart from they want to attack us for some reason. We know nothing about aliens. Since there is absolutely nothing we can do about it we may as well not worry about
I Qualify (Score:2)
"We need to invest heavily in the military to defend ourselves against potential alien attack. More nukes, more missiles, new defense programs. "
There. I pretty much have got the job.
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I am not sure if you are being sarcastic or not but if you aren't.
We have absolutely no idea if nukes will have any significant effect on the aliens, or just annoy them so they wipe us out faster.
These aliens must have traveled light years with an army, we can barely get a few people to the moon.
Our best hope is just to advance our technology, without wasting our resources on building up a weapons that we have no idea will work. That is just ignore the hypothetical problem.
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I'm being cynical I think. It's a 'follow the money' reasoning. I really believe this kind of attitude gets people to support you when you want to rise to influential positions.
And that is also why we're in infinitely more danger of destroying ourselves than being destroyed by aliens.
Just ignoring the hypothetical problem makes perfect sense.
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The biggest problem is that it is nearly impossible to achieve. Microbes are tiny and space is huge, anything can be frozen into tiny ice particles. Reality is, if it didn't evolve with us, the entire planetary ecosphere, it won't be adapted to eat us or to not be eaten by us (numbers some will die eating them but they will be gone) and likely will be allergic, extremely allergic to our various trace exudations. Any Alien craft visiting might well do a relatively low orbit of the sun to burn off any externa
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It's a pretty safe bet that using a gun as a defense against aliens that have the technology to reach us is going to be approximately as effective as trying to blow out a multi-acre wildfire with your breath.
If it bleeds, we can kill it. [youtube.com]
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Protect us from an alien invasion? Chances are the race that seeks out and finds us is going to be far more advanced than we'll ever be, so our "defense" will likely play out about as well as science fiction has portrayed it, especially as they face a species of warmongers. We don't offer a handshake first; we pick up a gun.
How do you think they disguised themselves as Trump's toupee ???
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Will Smith? (Score:2)
It would be a bit of a pay cut, but he's got the resume. Oh, it's more about biological contamination? Then obviously Dustin Hoffman.
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Starfleet Commander (Score:1)
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I'll do it (Score:2)
Calling Flash Gordon (Score:2)
Someone wants to give you a job!
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Gordon's ALIVE...alive...alive...
Job Description: (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Job Description: (Score:5, Funny)
You don't fool me. You just copy-pasted that from the listing for White House Communications Director.
Re:Job Description: (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, just like a sysadmin.
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And any infosec job. From my first training course:
Instructor: "What's the first duty of an Infosec professional, the thing you should do every single day?"
Student: "Check the firewall logs?"
Instructor: "Wrong. The thing you should do every single day is update your resume, because your most critical organizational function to be the one to get fired WHEN, not IF, something goes catastrophically wrong. This is because the bad guys need to get lucky once, you have to be good EVERY TIME."
Min
I'll do it! (Score:2)
I'll take the job. If the Earth gets visited by aliens any time before I retire, I'll give all the money back. Deal?
Will be filled by H1B ... aliens (Score:3)
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Nah, they'll just leave after being unable to find intelligent life.
Kill the Alien Bastards (Score:2)
I'll do it. (Score:1)
Kind of late in the game (Score:2)
This is like closing the barn door after the horses have run away. We've already been impacted by plenty of fragments from Mars, comets, etc. If there's life elsewhere, it's possible it started via panspermia [wikipedia.org] Then again, that's a pretty big "if" - there's no evidence one way or the other that there's life elsewhere - just WAGs [urbandictionary.com] made by wags (definition # 11 - someone not to be taken seriously) [dictionary.com]..
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1. There is still no evidence of life elsewhere - just guesses, and possiblies. No evidence of life itself. In other words, my original statement stands.
2. Human life will end at some point no matter what. Even if we avoid every doomsday scenario, it's not like we're not still evolving. It's be like the Neanderthals all over again.
NOTHING to do with "space aliens" (Score:1)
This job has NOTHING to do with "space aliens" it's about preventing our space missions from contaminating other planets and moons, etc.
Typical science ignorant press
free job (Score:1)
This sounds like a job written as a hand out to someone's biology PhD buddy. Probably some environmental "scientist" friend that can't find a job.
There's always a catch (Score:3)
as well as ensuring human space explorers do not damage other planets, moons and objects in space.
THIS is the hard part of the job.
Otherwise, I'd go sign up for the $187,000/Year for 3 years, to protect earth from space microbes, BECAUSE the risk of a meaningful incident is extremely miniscule.
Anyways, they probably don't consider my experience in IT meaningful for what is essentially the same as the hospital safety officers who work to define rules, procedures, and compliance programs for doctors and medical practitioners to ensure safe sanitary practices and isolation of deadly hazards such as ebola.
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Thar's a nice salary for a "sanitation engineer".
why do we need this now? (Score:2)
J'onn J'onzz (Score:2)
Thanks, I'd wondered what the Director of the DEO got paid.
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Supergirl seems to work for free, though, so that is downward pressure on salaries at the DEO. NASA might need to pay more.
Roving Security Job Open ? (Score:2)
I want the job of rooting out the 5th columnists that are infected with brain worms and making the earth easier to destroy...
The ones covering up & helping the NWO, Illuminatii, existance of UFO, advanced offworld tech & pedophile Satanists.
Bush, Clinton, Rothchilds, JP Morgan, Rockafellers, Monsanto and their ilk lookout...
Disclousure Now !
We need to be ready !
Who is up to no good ?
Who are allies ?
Is there a cosmic war ?
Interstellar travel or multiverse ?
Gods, Aliens, Demons, Angels ? What are they
I'm not saying it was aliens, but.. (Score:1)
Er, never mind, I AM saying it was aliens - it's my JOB!
A misleading headline. Gee, what a surprise! (Score:2)
The real work of protecting *other* worlds from US is extremely important as we continue to move closer and closer toward getting to Mars. I'm very glad to see (and not at all surprised) to see NASA continuing to pursue this.
I thought Slashdot was supposed to be above clickbait... /s
Small salary (Score:2)
I wonder what the aliens would pay.
The US found a creative way to police space (Score:2)
Idiots -- job is impossible. (Score:2)
Anyone with half a brain knows this job is complete bullshit.
So aliens have the technology to travel half-way across the galaxy via FTL and our primitive technology will stop them???
/sarcasm Riiight.
Can I have some of what you are smoking please!? Because someone has been watching too much Independence Day.
Largesse (Score:1)
As a conservative I'd be genuinely interested in hearing Bernie explain if this nonsense promotes the general welfare socialists talk about all the time.
I don't see any governments or government coalitions landing anyone on the moon or mars in our lifetimes or any point in the future.
Obligatory xkcd (Score:2)
Applying now (Score:2)
Job sounds extremely awesome: https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob... [usajobs.gov]
Job Overview
Summary
About the Agency
This position is assigned to Office of Safety and Mission Assurance for Planetary Protection. Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration. NASA maintains policies for planetary protection applicable to all space flight missions that may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituen
Futurama! (Score:2)
Get Philip J. Fry to do it: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/... [cc.com]
still waiting (Score:2)
Where's the job for the xenolinguist? That's the one I'm waiting for.
Emilio Sandoz
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And the access code can be "12345"?
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Not so fast. Take the "spanish flu" during WW I. That killed a lot of people and it killed them on both sides of the fighting lines. So there is an example where we didn't have cross contamination because of war yet it was on both sides at the same time. It was a space microbe, clearly.
So WTH do you do about that?
Never the less, you could have that job for a really long time. We may never have another instance of a space microbe killing us. We could also have one next week.