Risk of Penile Fractures Rises at Christmas, Doctors Find (theguardian.com) 70
An anonymous reader shares a report: It may be the season of loving and giving, but doctors have warned against embracing this spirit too enthusiastically -- at least where sexual relations are concerned. They have discovered that the Christmas period is associated with a significantly increased risk of penile fractures -- a medical emergency in which the erection-producing regions of the penis snap, usually as a result of forceful bending during over-enthusiastic sexual intercourse. "This injury tends to occur during wild sex -- particularly in positions where you're not in direct eye contact [with your partner], such as the reverse cowgirl," said Dr Nikolaos Pyrgides, a urologist at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich, who led the research.
The fractures are often heralded by an audible crack, followed by severe pain, rapid loss of erection and severe swelling and bruising. "When [patients] present to their doctor their penis often looks like an eggplant," Pyrgides said. Suspecting that the intimacy and euphoria of the festive season might be a risk factor for this type of injury, Pyrgides and his colleagues examined hospital data for 3,421 men who sustained penile fractures in Germany between 2005 and 2021. The study -- the first to explore seasonal patterns for this type of injury -- found that such injuries were indeed more common over Christmas. In fact, "if every day was like Christmas, 43% more penile fractures would have occurred in Germany from 2005 on," Pyrgides said. The research, which was published in the British Journal of Urology International, also found the risk increased at weekends and over the summer holidays. However, New Year's Eve was not associated with an increased incidence of penis injuries.
The fractures are often heralded by an audible crack, followed by severe pain, rapid loss of erection and severe swelling and bruising. "When [patients] present to their doctor their penis often looks like an eggplant," Pyrgides said. Suspecting that the intimacy and euphoria of the festive season might be a risk factor for this type of injury, Pyrgides and his colleagues examined hospital data for 3,421 men who sustained penile fractures in Germany between 2005 and 2021. The study -- the first to explore seasonal patterns for this type of injury -- found that such injuries were indeed more common over Christmas. In fact, "if every day was like Christmas, 43% more penile fractures would have occurred in Germany from 2005 on," Pyrgides said. The research, which was published in the British Journal of Urology International, also found the risk increased at weekends and over the summer holidays. However, New Year's Eve was not associated with an increased incidence of penis injuries.
Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:3, Insightful)
WTF. News for Nerds? not likely.
Re:Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:4, Funny)
Indeed. The last thing nerds need is a story about the dangers of wild sex.
Re:Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
On the other hand, if nerds get to do it at all, they're more likely to do it incorrectly.
Re:Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:5, Funny)
On the other hand, if nerds get to do it at all, they're more likely to do it incorrectly.
Which is why I tell my team I'm glad to take our sexual harassment courses because then I know how to do it right.
Re: (Score:2)
They way we hang on sex in this culture kinds of makes nerd and sex lilbit hot--in a Cenobite sense anyway. Your penis and or vulva results may vary. I like anatomy words. Pass the nog. Yup.
Re: Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Also Stuff that Matters.
Re: (Score:2)
Also Stuff that Matters.
Oh, sorry, my bad. I thought we were playing Stuff that Orifice!
Re: (Score:2)
Also Stuff that Matters.
Staff that matters.
Re: (Score:2)
WTF. News for Nerds? not likely.
Hey! We can dream. Just try sneaking a cowgirl into mom's basement, though.
Re:Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:5, Funny)
It's a naked cowgirl. And she's floating on the ceiling.
Re: (Score:2)
It's a naked cowgirl. And she's floating on the ceiling.
...petrified in grits.
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah, this is the kind of thing I'd have expected to see on The Weather Channel's site. Loosely made into a "weather" story, because cooler temperatures ostensibly make people want to spend more time indoors.
I'm not seeing the News for Nerds angle on "you might break your penis over Christmas vacation". Well, unless you're following some Ikea assembly instructions on Christmas day and get your dick stuck in the ceiling fan. That's always a possibility.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: Slashdot hitting a new low... (Score:2)
That guy is well on his way to winning the Darwin Award!
Merry Christmas! (Score:5, Funny)
Don't break your dick!
Re:Merry Christmas! (Score:4, Funny)
The new holiday song now:
Oh he's begining to be drink a lot of brandy,
And the fires in his loins are randy.
But beware while under the mistletoe,
Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow...
Re: (Score:2)
Also, the shitter's full!
Early drinking for msmash? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Early drinking for msmash? (Score:5, Funny)
I know you are not a fan of /. crowd, but posting dick news stories is a few steps too far.
Well, at least for once it’s breaking news.
Re: (Score:2)
I know you are not a fan of /. crowd, but posting dick news stories is a few steps too far.
Do androids do it with electric sheep? Now that would be a dick news story.
Ouch (Score:3)
And I had thought it didn't get worse than this [youtube.com].
My birthday is September 25th (Score:2)
Do the math.
If You Break Your Dick, You Deserve It. (Score:2)
Is there a DBA (dick breakers anonymous)? Do you get a bone colored chip for admitting you are a dick breaker?
Re: (Score:2)
Is there a DBA (dick breakers anonymous)? Do you get a bone colored chip for admitting you are a dick breaker?
Now would DBA be an enlightened organization welcoming both women and men? Or would there be separate chapters for the different genders? How many genders might that be? I seem to have lost track...
Great, one more thing to worry about (Score:5, Funny)
All this time I thought the only holiday risk was nutcrackers
Re: Great, one more thing to worry about (Score:2)
This is a dick cracker not a nut cracker
Oblig joke (Score:3)
That'll stop you from coming down the chimney all the time.
Written in Greek (Score:2)
This injury tends to occur during wild sex..
I'm pretty sure this crowd has zero experience with this.
Re: (Score:2)
Obligatory Your Mom Broke My Dick comment.
Re: (Score:1)
Well, she did. Your mom plopped her fat ass down before it was in there. Man that was painful. She sure likes the robo-dick replacement I got though.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tes... [mayoclinic.org]
They put a little pump in my leg, now I can keep it up as long as your mom wants.
Re: Written in Greek (Score:2)
Youâ(TM)d be surprised how many geeks and nerds are in your average kink club (about 70-80% I would say).
Oh my, Santa! (Score:2)
Seems like you're having trouble finding the chimney!!!
Get Fucked Dr Nikolaos Pyrgides (Score:2)
Title. (Score:2)
Re:Title. (Score:5, Funny)
How is this news for nerds? We don't get any! Now get off my lawn!
Nah, see, it's so you now have a "sour grapes" excuse if you're not getting any! Those guys who are having sex are risking breaking their dicks, who wants that?
yikes (Score:2)
I've read this is possible but never knew any unfortunates. So I read that 1 in 100K men have had this happen in USA every year, and with 130 million adult males that would make about 1,330 cases per year... ouch, goddamn!
Sure fire IgNobel Prize winner (Score:2)
I am wondering if the IgNobel priize is so coveted these days that people are trying really hard to win it. This article looks like such an attempt.
The Fractures... (Score:4, Funny)
...often followed by rapid loss of erection...
You don't say.
Sue? (Score:2)
staff weighs in on this (Score:2)
I don't want to hear Santa and penile breakage in the same sentence, thank you.
-- Gregory the Elf
well... (Score:1)
TFS (Score:2)
Pretty much every part of that summary made me cringe.
#BrokeDick? (Score:1)
So somebody is exceeding the material strength of the materials involved?
Only big dicks need apply (Score:5, Informative)
Unless you're hitting the cervix, the odds of this happening are not very high. Seriously. Most vaginas are wide enough and deep enough to take the entire member without it having the necessarily limited range of motion where it would start to bend and/or break. If you DO have a big johnson, then having the woman's entire weight come down on your dick by way of the cervix (in the case of women that like the ramrod sensation) could be . . . problematic. Hence "reverse cowgirl" potentially causing this injury.
Also when a lot of booze is involved, the usual problem is that the dick is too soft which further mitigates the chance of dick breakage.
Re: Only big dicks need apply (Score:5, Informative)
No.
This often happens when the man is "pouring the coals", pulls a little too far out and as he's trying to thrust forward on the next stroke, impacts the partner's perineum. '*snap*"
Ow.
The French call this injury "faux pas de coit". No I don't read French.
https://jocelynerobert.com/201... [jocelynerobert.com]
Re: Only big dicks need apply (Score:2)
For the younger nerd who doesn't get "pouring the coal"...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=... [youtube.com]
Re: (Score:2)
Re: Only big dicks need apply (Score:2)
"and to think all i had to do was put the balls on the other side....
look at em spin now!
oh, tom, tom,.....those balls will mean your fortune...."
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: Only big dicks need apply (Score:2)
In Germany half the pools have co-ed changing rooms and you share the steam room after the gym with all the naked girls
Jesus is the Reason for the Season. (Score:2)
TIL (Score:2)
Dick bone is real.
Re: TIL (Score:2)
It is in raccoons, actually.
Re: (Score:2)
Fun fact: humans are among the few mammals without a baculum.
Raccoons are famous for them because... they just happen to have pretty big ones. 8)
Christmas came early? (Score:2)
I had to. (Score:2)
Nutcracker, meat the sausage snapper.
(I'm very proud of the density of puns in that line. There are as many puns as words in that sentence.)
Yeah ok (Score:1)
eggplant (Score:2)
Which variety of eggplant?