Pill Treats Constipation By Vibrating Its Way Through Your Body 55
A new pill could help alleviate constipation by delivering vibrations that "help kickstart the body's nature processes for getting rid of waste," reports Gizmodo. From the report: Vibrant still comes in the form of a pill, but before swallowing (around bedtime each night), it first needs to be activated by inserting it into a smartphone-connected pod. The pill makes its way through the body the same way food and other orally consumed medications do, but it isn't dissolved or broken down by stomach acids. Vibrant capsules are made from the same medical-grade material as pill cameras and are engineered to be durable enough to survive even accidental bites. Instead, it delivers relief by making small vibrations in three second intervals (three seconds on, three seconds off) to help stimulate nerve cells that trigger peristalsis: the wave like muscle contractions that push food and waste through the body.
After being swallowed, the pill vibrates for about two hours, goes dormant for around six hours, and then vibrates once again for another two hours. It remains completely intact until it exits the body (hopefully along with the blockage causing the constipation), when it's then flushed away. It doesn't sound like the motorized mechanism inside the pills is rechargeable -- not that you'd want to reuse one after its first fantastic voyage.
The pill's efficacy was tested in a study where 200 people dealing with chronic constipation took it every night for eight weeks, with 40% of the group reporting at least one additional bowel movement every week. Only 23% of an additional group of 149 people who took a placebo during the study reported having at least one more bowel movement per week. Unlike most laxatives, Vibrant doesn't cause side effects like diarrhea; however, a small minority of test subjects were actually able to feel the pill vibrating inside them. But it wasn't uncomfortable enough to stop them from taking it on a daily basis.
After being swallowed, the pill vibrates for about two hours, goes dormant for around six hours, and then vibrates once again for another two hours. It remains completely intact until it exits the body (hopefully along with the blockage causing the constipation), when it's then flushed away. It doesn't sound like the motorized mechanism inside the pills is rechargeable -- not that you'd want to reuse one after its first fantastic voyage.
The pill's efficacy was tested in a study where 200 people dealing with chronic constipation took it every night for eight weeks, with 40% of the group reporting at least one additional bowel movement every week. Only 23% of an additional group of 149 people who took a placebo during the study reported having at least one more bowel movement per week. Unlike most laxatives, Vibrant doesn't cause side effects like diarrhea; however, a small minority of test subjects were actually able to feel the pill vibrating inside them. But it wasn't uncomfortable enough to stop them from taking it on a daily basis.
Another possible cure is Kim Chi (Score:5, Interesting)
Korean Fermented Napa Cabbage.
About 3 years ago, I just suddenly stopped a lifetime of regular daily movements.
Tried everything (including pro-biotics) and nothing worked.
About 3 months ago, I had a mouthful of Kim Chi and bam- things started up again.
Apparently it has over 700 pro-biotics, including one that I had lost which survived the stomach to get into the gut. Whatever it was it coats my insides with a slippery covering.
Constipation is no joke- it can put you in the hospital.
Re:Another possible cure is Kim Chi (Score:5, Insightful)
Constipation is no joke- it can put you in the hospital.
Yep, but I'm fairly sure the solution shouldn't be for everybody to start flushing batteries and other e-waste down the toilet on a daily basis.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
So, all the users just start their day off by fishing through their own shit? You're out of your goddamn mind if you think that approach is going to be widely accepted.
Re: Reuse Recycle Re:Another possible cure is Kim (Score:3)
If they started off every day having to do that, they probably aren't constipated. Zing! :-)
Re: (Score:2)
Retrieving the pill with a magnet, put it in a container, and sterilizing it for reuse isn't the grossest thing in the world.
And eating it again?
Yes, it is about the grosses thing in the world.
Re: (Score:2)
Constipation is no joke- it can put you in the hospital.
Yep, but I'm fairly sure the solution shouldn't be for everybody to start flushing batteries and other e-waste down the toilet on a daily basis.
Speaking of constipation, let me know when Greed starts giving a shit about the harm it creates.
That'll be a first.
Re: (Score:2)
Rename it (Score:5, Funny)
Can we please decide, right here and now, to call this the Pilldozer?
Re: (Score:3)
I'm thinking more the porn this will be featured in.
Boogie Shiates
Tonic Colonic
The Purge
Re: (Score:2)
"He couldn't swallow a bullet vibe without gagging. Now the Love Doctor has the solution."
Re: (Score:2)
Can we please decide, right here and now, to call this the Pilldozer?
Some might think that's a pretty crappy name, but with today's marketing it would make product fly off the shelves faster than shit through a goose.
Reuse? In the olden days, they did! (Score:5, Informative)
And in the early apartment dwellings of Paris, the concierge had the pill for safekeeping. If some of the tenants needed it, he asked for it and brought it back a couple of days later when done. Yes, back in the days, reuse was the word, and even by different people!
a cure fit for a King (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
He was on the toilet when he died.
I don't think this pill would have helped much because his constipation was caused by opiates. They slow or stop the intestinal tract. This pill can only stimulate a functioning digestive system. Opiates would dull the effects so much that it wouldn't work.
Really the only way to counteract opiates is to stop using them or resort to toxic laxatives. I don't know how addicts do it. It must suck.
Re:a cure fit for a King (Score:5, Funny)
But think of how it would have helped if there was a whole lot of shakin' goin' on.
"not that you'd want to reuse one" (Score:2)
Author is a bit squeamish for a medical writer. I hope he never sees a baby being born, or learns where eggs come from.
Re: (Score:2)
Don't let them google episiotomy.
Re:"not that you'd want to reuse one" (Score:4, Funny)
Pod (Score:5, Insightful)
it first needs to be activated by inserting it into a smartphone-connected pod.
...which won't work until you register it online and you'll be added to a database of people who'll buy any expensive crap to try and shit.
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
>"Exactly! Why on earth should this be connected to my phone? I don't want any prickly fetishist knowing when I took a bowel stimulating pill. That is private."
It won't be private, anyway. First it will require a prescription. So you have to go to a doctor and it will be recorded there. Then to a pharmacy, and it will be recorded there. Then insurance might be involved, so it will be recorded there.
So although the "phone" aspect seems stupid, it is probably yet another DRM scheme to insure the pill i
Re: (Score:2)
So although the "phone" aspect seems stupid, it is probably yet another DRM scheme to insure the pill isn't reused or altered or "unapproved" in some draconian way.
Yep. They probably want to make sure you're buying new ones all the time instead of reusing the same one.
Re: (Score:2)
it first needs to be activated by inserting it into a smartphone-connected pod.
...which won't work until you register it online and you'll be added to a database of people who'll buy any expensive crap to try and shit.
I would imagine the hospital bill for constipation, is a shitload more.
(Financial Manager) "Wait, so THAT'S why you're in debt? You're not shitting me?"
(Bobby Backlog) "No, I'm not shitting you. I'm not even shitting myself."
Re: (Score:2)
Can you use a regular desktop computer with it instead? I'm guessing not.
Is there some reason that this "pod" can't operate independently? Besides turning it on, what else does it need to do? Perhaps set a delay, shut off time, or frequency? Or does it upload the entire experience in real time to Facebook?
But it is somehow OK because everyone loves their precious toy cell phones that much.
I don't own a smart phone, don't need one, and don't want one.
Actually (Score:2)
the test subjects lied about improvements because it felt so goood.
Sure it vibrates, but ... (Score:2)
When it's done, does it switch off vibrate and set a ringtone instead -- like maybe, "Whoomp! (There It Is)"?
Uh, no thanks (Score:2)
"Vibrant capsules are made from the same medical-grade material as pill cameras and are engineered to be durable enough to survive even accidental bites."
Yeah, I will always remember the Slashdot editor who got one of those pill cameras stuck in his gut for several days. This seems like it'd be worse because 1) you're always constipated; and 2) the darn thing is gonna turn on and vibrate for two hours, three times a day.
Added benefits (Score:4, Funny)
It helps you win at Chess tournaments, as long as Magnus Carlsen doesn't out you.
Re: (Score:2)
It helps you win at Chess tournaments, as long as Magnus Carlsen doesn't out you.
Huh. No wonder Hans Niemann was so quiet about his new sponsor...
Re: Added benefits (Score:2)
If chess tournaments ever go searching in your ass for a buzzer, there is always skin implantation. Until they start making chess players have a full body X-Ray....
Prior art (Score:4, Informative)
Acme Corp. got there first [youtube.com].
Re: (Score:2)
That was great. They don't even need to spend money to make a commercial for the pill.
Re: Prior art (Score:2)
But what if I identify as a constipated road-runner?
Another form of e-waste (Score:5, Insightful)
We got tired of throwing computers away so now we shall build them just to send them directly to e-waste.
Re: (Score:2)
Certainly not septic tank friendly. Although the macerator in urban sewage treatment plants can handle it, shredded batteries are usually considered either universal waste or hazardous waste.
Repurposed (Score:4, Funny)
"Can we monitise this sex toy in any other way?"
"I have an idea..."
Hmm... (Score:3)
Is that available as a suppository?
Asking for a friend.
I'll wait until it has an... (Score:3)
Also need, a graph of everything, where it is in my body, and the "anonymized" data of all the other dummies to compare my shit to.
I also want it to stop around my prostrate and I want a button on the app to push. I've heard that's something I would enjoy.
I don't know how we have made it this far in our civilization without a metal pill, with radio frequencies and an app, to put up our asses.
Ladies, if vice.com knows anything, you already have this, but for the fun hole... any real world experience to share? How is the app?
[ Forgot this is Slashdot for a minute, I'm not sure there are any ladies here. Ok, so far I've complimented Apple, ladies, and dummies. My work is done here. I'll show myself out. ]
"Doesn't cause Diarrhea" (Score:2)
Great slogan!!
Dismal (Score:3)
>"with 40% of the group reporting at least one additional bowel movement every week. Only 23% of an additional group of 149 people who took a placebo during the study reported having at least one more"
That is pretty dismal effectiveness. So if you subtract the placebo, only a small percent of people experienced a small effect (just 1 extra movement in an entire week). And for that, you have to spent LOTS of money for something with a battery that gets "thrown away" with each use.
>"Unlike most laxatives, Vibrant doesn't cause side effects like diarrhea"
Really, there are two cheap and effective ways to deal with regularity- increasing soluble fiber or Miralax. Used properly, at the right amount and time and duration, they don't cause diarrhea. And if you want to spend more and help address a chronic condition- pre/probiotics.
I dub thee, the Lemmiwinks pill (Score:4, Funny)
Catatafish's riddle will soon be told!
Ups and downs. (Score:2)
The stories
Walking (Score:2)
So many recent studies are concluding that a 10-15 minute walk after each meal is crucial to good health.
Seems likely it could encourage peristalsis too.
Re: Walking (Score:2)
You go walk forever and ever. But - it's not great for brain health. There is a study that shows BDNF dropped after walking for miles every day, but it raised very slightly with moderate running.
Mmmh (Score:2)
Can you put a dozen of them in a different orifice?
Asking for a friend.
Did a certain chess player get a preview release? (Score:2)
Look out water departments! (Score:2)
Here come Vibrant fatbergs!
Frankie: "They stole our name!" (Score:2)
Grace: "Ours is with a Y"
Frankie: "Doesn't matter. It's something you put up there."
Grace: "Wrong hole."
Frankie: "Says you."
Great for chess tournaments! (Score:2)
Or at least you can insist that the vibrating buttplug is a medical device.