People Like Getting Thank You Notes, Research Finds (nytimes.com) 68
From a report: O.K., it's not that surprising. But what did surprise two psychologist as they attempted to get to bottom of why so few people actually send thank yous is that many people totally "miscalibrate" the effect of an appreciative email. They underestimate the positive feelings it will bring. "They think it's not going to be that big a deal," said Amit Kumar, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin who studies well-being. They also overestimate how insincere the note may appear and how uncomfortable it will make the recipient feel, their study found.
But after receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were "ecstatic," scoring the happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they'd evoke a 3. To be clear -- the notes in question were not your typical "thanks for the Amazon gift card." Rather, the 100 or so participants in each of the four experiments were asked to write a short "gratitude letter" to a person who had affected them in some way. Sample letters included missives of appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times. In lab experiments, Dr. Kumar observed that it took most subjects less than five minutes to write the letters. Further reading: Finding Emails With Certain Variation Of Thank You Vastly Improves Response Rate, Study Finds; and Apparently, People Say 'Thank You' To Self-Driving Pizza Delivery Vehicles.
But after receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were "ecstatic," scoring the happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they'd evoke a 3. To be clear -- the notes in question were not your typical "thanks for the Amazon gift card." Rather, the 100 or so participants in each of the four experiments were asked to write a short "gratitude letter" to a person who had affected them in some way. Sample letters included missives of appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times. In lab experiments, Dr. Kumar observed that it took most subjects less than five minutes to write the letters. Further reading: Finding Emails With Certain Variation Of Thank You Vastly Improves Response Rate, Study Finds; and Apparently, People Say 'Thank You' To Self-Driving Pizza Delivery Vehicles.
Wow... (Score:5, Insightful)
Someone needed to research this?
Make me wonder what the consensus is on the wet nature of water or being punched in the nose by a biker.
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Re:Wow... (Score:5, Funny)
Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
-- Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #39.
And apologies are free (Score:3)
> Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
> -- Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #39.
Also, apologies are free, yet so valuable.
Of course, to be valuable, praise should be sincere. One can find SOMETHING you appreciate about the other person.
For example, I can praise Obama's idealism, and Trump's directness - Trump doesn't say whatever opinion pills tell him to say. Obama says things *well*, even when I don't agree with the content of what he's saying.
Re:And apologies are free (Score:4, Funny)
> Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
> -- Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #39.
Also, apologies are free, yet so valuable.
I can't imagine a single corporate lawyer who'd agree with you :)
Lol true. Something to consider at times (Score:3)
That's funny.
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Sincerity is everything once you can fake it (Score:2)
What we need is an AI that can automatically respond to emails with gushing amounts of thanks and apologies that incorporates some of the original messages so that the recipient can know that they are sincere.
(And then we will need another AI that can remove all sincerely sent thank yous from our in boxes.)
Re:Wow... (Score:5, Insightful)
Someone needed to research this?
Politeness is indeed a radical new invention to a surprising number of people.
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-1, unable to distinguish the obvious from the true
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"The chief Dufflepod hung back and warned the others that they'd find the water powerful wet..." --C.S. Lewis, Voyage of the Dawn Treader
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Well, back before email, you typically sent a nice letter - handwritten or typed up and it was generally appreciated because it showed you took effort on it - after all, typing (or writing) a physical letter takes time, finding and envelope and paying for a stamp. It's why letters still generally have an effect.
But in this modern day of email, things are not so clear. Emai
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I think it's more appreciated only because it's unexpected. I would guess that in societies where thanking is standard expected behaviour, it has far less impact.
In any case, my first thought when getting thank you notes is "Why did you write this? What do you want?" And most of the time, it's going to be an interlude for getting more of my time, money or both.
If you really like what I did, don't thank me, tell others!
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Context (Score:1)
appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times.
Context matters. These are important events as they are personal and the thank you note is unexpected, unlike the ritualistic thank you note after an exhaustive 200 person wedding party.
Gee (Score:2)
Thanks
No, I really don't. (Score:1)
If you send me a thank you note devoid of any information, you are telling me that you are a fucking worthless piece of shit who values inane vacuous social bullshit over useful exchange of information. As such, you are a waste of my time, and you should fuck off and die.
Do not send me thank you notes, you stupid motherfucker.
Re: No, I really don't. (Score:1)
THIS! There's some real truth here and I'm inclined to believe it. Ppl are assholes m'kay. That is never going to change. Reminds me of the time when I signed up for Linkedin just so I could send a 'Thank you' to a manager who interviewed me. I got a call 20 mins later from the recruiter who sent me there telling me to stop harassing their client. Bunch of fuckwits if you ask me. It just was an invite which they didn't have to accept thanking them for seeing me that day. Hardly touched the worthless site si
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Judging from other responses in this thread to this AC, I'd say that Poe's law is strong here.
I wrote a new book called "How to Get Along with Other People". I didn't write it on my own though. I wrote it with this other asshole jerkoff... -- Steve Martin
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Do not send me thank you notes, you stupid motherfucker.
No, it's do not send me someone else's thank you notes.
Several times a day I get...
To: Bob and about 30 other people including me
From: Tedious manager
Thanks Bob!
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Best thank-you ever! (Score:5, Informative)
https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/1/1... [lkml.org]
Manners matter, period. (Score:2, Insightful)
I don't care how much money you have, if you aren't polite, you have NO class.
Bottom line : it costs nothing to be polite, but in some cases it can bring benefits that money cannot buy.
Anyone can be coarse and rude, but a bit of thought and good manners can make life easier and more pleasant for all concerned.
This used to be obvious, but real-world experience in recent years has shown me that for many people it is not obvious, and that is sad.
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Amen! Be polite and courteous to everybody. It pays in the long run.
It certainly does. Oh, wait. [nytimes.com]
I'm so lonely (Score:1)
I even appreciate it when someone takes the time to write me a Fuck You note.
I would just like to thank you (Score:5, Funny)
for upvoting this "interesting" comment. I really do appreciate your upvote. Thank you so much!
Frank Burns (Score:3)
But seriously who knew?
I wonder if old friends that you haven't seen in years and come up and give you a big hug might make you feel good too?
That's not the secret (Score:2)
Cynical view (Score:2)
1. You're doing a great job. Keep it up
2. Thanks for all your hard work. Keep it up.
3. You're a rock star. Have a beer as a thank you for all you do.
.
.
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One day... YOU DID WHAT? DELETED OUR PRODUCTION DATABASE?
Yeah... I'm suspicious of thank you notes. They make that ton of bricks feel so much heavier when it falls on my head. It's like a mistake is a lot bigger when it's made by somebody perceived to be competent than if the same mistake were made by an idiot who was pretty much expected to do it when the p
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Thank you slashdot (Score:1)