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Bank of America Analysts Say There's A 50% Chance We Live In The Matrix (independent.co.uk) 284

Bank of America analysts have suggested that there is a 20 to 50 percent chance that the world around us is a "Matrix-style virtual reality." The report stated, "It is conceivable that with advancements in artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and computing power, members of future civilizations could have decided to run a simulation of their ancestors." The idea is certainly nothing new, as many influential visionaries have come to similar theories. What some may find most unusual about the report is who issued it. According to Business Insider, Merrill Lynch, Bank of America's wealth management company, sent out a briefing to investors outlining their Matrix theory. In response, Slashdot reader marmot7 writes: Personally, I'd like to see all that brain power go toward a better and more stable banking system, not toward the promoting the nihilistic and self-indulgent idea that this might be the Matrix. Don't worry that banks behave in ways that create instability, it's not real. Just relax and enjoy the ones and zeroes. I have no doubt there are good, well meaning people there. I just don't really need my bank weighing in on the mystery of reality any more than I need them to come up with a unified theory of physics at long last. Well, unless it's in their spare time then by all means.
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Bank of America Analysts Say There's A 50% Chance We Live In The Matrix

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    • I have a mouth. Stupid matrix could have left out morning breath. Grabs the tooth brush.

  • Why not e, or 12.44426268%? And haven't they something better to do? They are a bank, not a research institute, are they?

    • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:42PM (#52889737)

      Why not e, or 12.44426268%? And haven't they something better to do? They are a bank, not a research institute, are they?

      Why do simulated people do anything? It's just the way the program's set up.

    • by zlives ( 2009072 )

      percentile dice...

    • Why not e, or 12.44426268%?

      I agree, the numbers are super-extra bullshit. Plus, if this is a simulation, it may have been specifically diddled in such a way as to confuse people trying to determine what the chance is that it's a simulation.

      And haven't they something better to do? They are a bank, not a research institute, are they?

      They're just looking for the next scam. Having perverted the nature of banking, they're hoping to find some exploits in the VM and pervert the nature of reality... for profit.

    • Why not e, or 12.44426268%? And haven't they something better to do? They are a bank, not a research institute, are they?

      They are setting up a new spin for their lawyers. Once the bank has lost all your savings and needs to be bailed out with taxpayer money after the next bubble bursts, they'll be like: "Relax... it's not like we lost real money or anything"

    • Doesn't it need to be rounded to whole cents or something like that?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:36PM (#52889701)

    Although BofA is HQ'd in Charlotte, NC it was historically a California company and has a large presence in Washington and Oregon--states where pot is either legal or decriminalized and widely used. Just sayin'.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    My impression is that banks are about the bottom line and profits. Why is someone at a bank doing that research?

  • This is just a ploy to further reduce banking regulations. Who needs regulations when this shit is all just a computer simulation anyway?

    • This is just a ploy to further reduce banking regulations. Who needs regulations when this shit is all just a computer simulation anyway?

      They're getting you used to the idea that there's only a 50% chance they'll have your money when you need it.

  • False Idol. (Score:4, Interesting)

    by TapeCutter ( 624760 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:38PM (#52889715) Journal
    As with God, one has to ask what kind of morality would lead our descendants to (re)create the pointless cruelty and misery seen in the media.
    • Re:False Idol. (Score:4, Informative)

      by NotInHere ( 3654617 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:52PM (#52889789)

      The problem in christianity is because GOD is both loving and powerful, but the admins of the matrix don't have to be loving. No problem there. The explanation probably is "its just numbers and nothing real" or something like that. I mean we run simulations ourselves already and there the same argument is valid.

      • by shione ( 666388 )

        Does loving have to love all? I mean, it's possible to love people but not some who hurt others. Like whipping up a cake mix and loving what has been created while scooping out the bits you don't like.

    • Our descendants? We're probably the dinosaurs in this scenario.

      • by Dunbal ( 464142 ) *
        Yeah, imagine a futuristic society based on - MAMMALS hahahahahahaha! That should be an awesome game/simulation.
    • Maybe it's because they're a simulation as well. If the argument is that we might be in a simulation because we're sufficiently advanced, then clearly any civilization that could create the simulation containing our existence would also be sufficiently advanced so as to be in a simulation itself. It's just simulations all the way up.
    • by C0R1D4N ( 970153 )
      There's plenty of cruelty and misery in our video games. I feel like if this is the matrix they could have picked a better time era to set it in.
    • /sarcasm Let's keep blaming God for people mis-using their gift of Free-Will because absolving people of their responsibility makes _so_much more sense. NOT.

      • God is Great!

        At drowning toddlers and infants!

        God Loves!

        To kill humans in horrific and terrible ways when it had other options.

        • You are making numerous assumptions.

          You're like the person who commits suicide and then blames God for not saving them.

          I've explained the fallacies of your thinking in this same thread in another post [slashdot.org]

      • Responsibility is a flawed concept. Only a person who can make a meaningful response can respond to anything. For example picture an old fashioned sailing ship heading for a fatal crash due to a bad captain. The crew can do nothing as any disobedience will get them hung from a yard arm. The people that hired the captain are not available as they are on land and can not observe the issue first hand. It all comes down to one and only one person being responsible and it is the ship's captain. The two hundred
      • /sarcasm Let's keep blaming God for people mis-using their gift of Free-Will because absolving people of their responsibility makes _so_much more sense. NOT.

        Yes, clearly a baby with brain cancer is responsible for its own condition.

    • I think this is the new God for highly successful people. Life is so easy and fun, it can't be real - this easy to "win". Maybe it also assuages their guilt as they stomp all over peons on their way up the ladder of success. After all, if we're just simulations, then morality is rather pointless, right? Notice how dirt poor and miserable people are not flocking to this new religion, because they wouldn't believe someone would create such a cruel and painful simulation for them to exist in.

  • by PopeRatzo ( 965947 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:46PM (#52889757) Journal

    To be fair, when the Bank of America analysts were asked this, they were all high on designer drugs after celebrating their record bonuses.

  • ... so they have something else to blame about past and future catastrophic financial collapses - The Matrix is to blame!
  • So, what are we all running from?

  • by wickerprints ( 1094741 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @06:51PM (#52889785)

    At least, now you know where you should NOT put your money.

  • Is there any chance these were a bunch of analysts BOA picked up on the cheap from the 5300 people Wells Fargo fired recently for setting up phony bank accounts?

  • Actually, if you read TFA past all the sensationalist clickbait, what the report really said was:

    Many scientists, philosophers, and business leaders believe that there is a 20-50 per cent probability that humans are already living in a computer-simulated virtual world.

    Which is really not that jaw-dropping, since the summary says practically the same thing.

  • by edcheevy ( 1160545 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @07:03PM (#52889857)
    What narrow thinking in these comments. I know, "get off my lawn, Slashdot used to be amazing!" has been said before, but all of these comments are simple "LULZ BofA is stoopid!" Come on people, think bigger and more cynically! Why not devote a few analyst cycles to ponder the reality vs simulation question if you're a major finance company? If we are in a simulation, isn't there a healthy chance that simulation includes bugs that could be exploited by economists living within it?

    How many billions could you make if you were able to predict glitches in the Matrix?
  • by Etcetera ( 14711 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @07:15PM (#52889913) Homepage

    But the human minds kept rejecting it. Entire crops were lost.

    So B-of-A was formed instead.

  • Nope (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Sqreater ( 895148 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @07:18PM (#52889933)
    Sault's law says a thing cannot make an artifact as complex as itself. It is an asymptotic goal. And it is unlikely any civilization would get even close to simulating the universe it lives in.
    • by Dunbal ( 464142 ) *
      I guess the guy never made babies. If unthinking enzymes and chemicals can do it, advanced robotics could do it. We're just not there yet.
    • Sault's law says a thing cannot make an artifact as complex as itself.

      That's dumb, though. It can even make an artifact more complex than itself. We're not that far off from having machines that can mine, smelt ores, and replicate themselves. If you gave the machine plans for both itself and a more complex machine, it could then clearly make a more complex machine.

      And it is unlikely any civilization would get even close to simulating the universe it lives in.

      On one hand, that's probably true. On the other hand, you might be able to simulate enough of it to be useful. And on the gripping hand, what if you could access other universes, and utilize their resources for your

    • by lgw ( 121541 )

      Who's to say our universe isn't very simple compared to the host universe? Certainly some of the rules of our universe, like relativity, seem carefully contrived to make us easier to simulate.

      • by gtall ( 79522 )

        "Certainly"? You do understand that mathematics is man's "contrived" creation...well, a lot of women helped as well. In case you haven't gotten the memo, the GUT has not yet been realized.

        You make the same mistake many make: mathematics is not physics. Physics is written in the language of mathematics and as such, not everything is properly expressible. Hell, it isn't even clear the mathematics has the right concepts to express all of physics. Quantum mechanics should give anyone pause that it does. BTW, qu

    • Re:Nope (Score:4, Interesting)

      by crunchygranola ( 1954152 ) on Wednesday September 14, 2016 @08:55PM (#52890401)

      Googling "Sault's Law" turns up no obvious references to this "law". This actually sounds a lot like Creationist propaganda, which frequently claims that evolution cannot create greater complexity, when in fact evolution - including artificial genetic algorithms - have no problem doing this.

    • by Whibla ( 210729 )

      Sault's law says a thing cannot make an artifact as complex as itself.

      I've never heard of this law, but in a sense it sounds legitimate. It misses one rather significant point though...

      I am not alone. Two people working together can achieve more than two people working alone, and, moreover, by working together they can achieve things that are simply not possible by two people working alone. And this scales, i.e. three people working together can achieve more that two people, and so on. The same applies to the machines that we make - in essence it only takes two machines worki

  • About the same odds as BoA foreclosing on your house and sending the sheriff to physically remove you despite the fact that you don't have a fucking mortgage.

  • .... going to realize that they are essentially just advocating intelligent design?

    If we live in a simulation, then some intelligent being designed that simulation. Period.

    ID may get touted a lot as some sort of pseudo-scientific camouflage for creationism, but in the end, it's still just about an alternative origin to our beginnings than just evolution. Suggesting we are living in a simulation is not only compatible with the notion that we were created, but it would seem to imply it.

  • While it is a possible world-model, there is absolutely no basis for a probability estimation with a reasonable error margin. These people do not understand what they are doing or, alternately, they are lying in order to get publicity. Oh, and look, it worked!

    • While it is a possible world-model, there is absolutely no basis for a probability estimation with a reasonable error margin. These people do not understand what they are doing or, alternately, they are lying in order to get publicity. Oh, and look, it worked!

      No you see, it is easy. Either it is or it isn't; so it's 50/50.

      Doesn't really make me confident of BoA, and I will try to steer clear of their mathematical expertice in the future.

      • by gweihir ( 88907 )

        That may indeed have been what they did. Junk-statistics at its finest. And in some sense it would even be correct: If you know absolutely nothing, assuming uniform distribution of the cases you know is a valid approach. Of course, what you do not get with this assumption is any error estimation, and hence the reliability of the statement is essentially be "none at all".

      • by Daetrin ( 576516 )

        No you see, it is easy. Either it is or it isn't; so it's 50/50.

        I've got the same combination on my luggage! ...er, i mean that's the exact same assumption i make about either/or questions as a person with very little knowledge of statistics who knows nothing about the underlying factors!

  • ... that there is a 50% probability that my BofA credit card balance is fictitious? Do I only owe them half?

  • "How we profit on that?" given the fact its a bank.

  • There is a 50% chance that the money that appears in your BOA account balance does not really exist...

  • The good news is we're in a huge particle simulation. The bad news is, you're still just composed of virtual particles and will become virtual worm food when you die.
  • So someone somewhere did a powerpoint preso at a staff function with some info pulled off the Internet, and this makes the Slashdot front page?
    Is this what Slashdot has become? How long before we get a daily update about the Kardashians?
  • It's just freaky when a bank states this. Ranks up there with Microsoft Lingerie.

  • When philosophers and physicists do this it's a fun way of pointing out interesting edge cases or stuff that we need better understanding of.
    In this case it just sounds like these bankers are taking those thought experiments far too seriously and not seeing them for what they are.

    It's like assuming that a smooth massless elephant is real instead of just a way to model a great big hairy and heavy thing.
  • Jim: "Things are looking bad. We've lost a lot of money. How can we hide it in this presentation?"
    Bob: "I don't know. We're so screwed, man! Any ideas, Jill?"
    Jill: "Huh? Sorry I wasn't listening. I was watching the iPhone 7 keynote. Did you know they are dropping the headphone jack?".
    Bob: "How can you be not paying attention at a time like this! We're screwed! We need to find a way to distract people from .... ummm... hang on. What did you say?"
    Jill: "They're removing the headphone jack from the iPhone.
  • One possibility is that some sort of god-like creature, or creatures, use a matrix like situations to test systems and find potential flaws or benefits. Another possibility is that humanity exists as a potential AI life force generator. We have seven billion people on the planet. Suppose each person has a computer running a matrix of its own design, complete with things like entirely altered laws of physics, chemistry or even mathematics. After these universes ran for a period of time some
  • This idea seems to be hip right now, although it is just a variant of Kants critical idealism or the arbrahamic revelation psycho-cults (Christianity, Islam, Judaism) idea of a god from which all things come.

    It's really weird when you see institutions that have so much power perpetrate such nonsense. And goes to show that 'civilized' society isn't to far from societies who think they have god on their side when they blow themselves and innocent bystanders up. Or think it's a brilliant idea to gas 11 million

  • The narrative behind the "Matrix" or "computer simulation" interpretation of the world is just a sequel or variant of the very old religious idea of the human created to live in a world controlled by God or gods. There is nothing new and nothing to see here. It is very boring it gets so much public attention.
  • On the one hand we have bible thumpers shoving bullshit at us, on the other hand "wake up sheeple - we all live in the Matrix!!!" Anyone wanna cook up more fairy stories about why we exist? We're here (and we're fucking up the planet we live on - we need to stop doing that as it's the only home we've got at the moment), the universe is before us and that's all that really matters.

  • Just curious - should I care what marmot7 has to say about BOA? Any other random people want to chime in?

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