Depression: The Secret Struggle Startup Founders Won't Talk About 184
mattydread23 writes: In May, Cambrian Genomics CEO Austen Heinz committed suicide. The news stunned friends and family, and sparked a conversation about the growing problem of depression among startup founders. Some estimates say 30% of startup founders suffer from depression, but many are reluctant to talk about their struggle for fear of alienating investors and employees. This feature by Business Insider includes conversations with a friend of Heinz, plus many investors and other startup founders who are starting to talk about the problem and figure out how to make things better.
Why talk? (Score:4, Insightful)
Why talk about it? We're busy being optimistic. One must be very optimistic to be a startup (any business pretty much) or a farmer. The rest get 9-to-5 jobs.
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It's a form of mania. It often swings between the extremes. The middle is no fun. Bye-bye polar. Some might consider it a fair price to pay for the highs.
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You like that, try bipolar Type II. No highs - just irritation and agitation - but the lows are just the same. That one really sucks.
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It's a form of mania. It often swings between the extremes. The middle is no fun. Bye-bye polar. Some might consider it a fair price to pay for the highs.
The highs are just as bad for other people as the lows.
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The kind of forced optimism that CEOs of startups often have to show is actually one of the things that causes depression. They have to live a lie, where they tell everyone that their shitty platform which does the same thing as five other shitty platforms is going to be the next Facebook.
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You seem very depressed.
You have a pattern of negative posts.
Would you like to talk about it?
Maybe Dr. Eliza v3.0 can help.
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The kind of forced optimism that CEOs of startups often have to show is actually one of the things that causes depression. They have to live a lie, where they tell everyone that their shitty platform which does the same thing as five other shitty platforms is going to be the next Facebook.
That's only a problem if you lie to yourself. Lying to others is just business.
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But, really, there has to be a degree of cognitive dissonance between the hope you'll do well and be super rich ... and the actual reality that, it's a tough slog, you might not get there, and you might have to trade away some equity to someone else to get there ... in which case your payout might not be as big as you hoped.
The difference between con-man and entrepreneur can be a thin line.
I've known a few people who fancied themselves the latter, but had worked themselves into such a feverish pitch trying
Secret struggle... (Score:2)
Secret struggle...
Thanks a hell of a lot. Now it's no longer a secret!
It’s chess, not checkers (Score:1)
The majority of startups will fail. You have to know that going in, that the odds are very much against you.
I just can’t BELIEVE the things that have gotten funding. Who “invests” $5M in a luxury watch site? I thought there were just a lot of bad ideas out there, but I think there are a lot of unsophisticated investors too.
Does anyone ever ask any serious questions? What happens if the government classifies Uber’s drivers as employeess, and not contractors? What happens if advertisin
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You're confusing "likelihood of success" with "likelihood of continued success". There were a lot of competitors to be eBay, Netflix or Amazon. Most startups will fail. Those that eventually succeed will often look like they are going to fail. Devoting 1/5 of your productive life to something that fails is pretty depressing.
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Re:It’s chess, not checkers (Score:4, Insightful)
I just canâ(TM)t BELIEVE the things that have gotten funding. Who âoeinvestsâ $5M in a luxury watch site? I thought there were just a lot of bad ideas out there, but I think there are a lot of unsophisticated investors too.
This is why it's depressing being in s startup. Let's say you've got a crack team of 4 co-founders and have not only come up with a good idea but built a product round it, sure it will get better in future but it works now. Let's say you're all grown-ups and actually considered the market before embarking on this and have found that yet there is a niche and a demand. Maybe you've even managed to sell a few units and get people interested, but now need money to grow.
So you go looking for invesment (well you maybe were all along) because you've just invested 4 person years for no pay.
And first you can't get any so you decide to look around at what is getting finded. And holy Jesus Christ on a moped what the ever living fuck who the damn hell ever though it was a good idea to fund those guys? So you have a product that's useful and there's still no competition and now the 25th selfie drone company, going into an already crowed area has just raised some insane amount. As has another facebook/uber wannabe clearly doomed for failure.
And then some moron of an "angel" comes along who decides that a 500% discount rate is what he wants so that if you ever do get VC funding, not only does he own the entire company, but he owns you, your childred and your children's children, your ever living soul and your pet hamster.
Meanwhile money is getting tight and you get back to pitching. Nada. But hey, Uber is now worth more than the combined annual revenue of the entire global taxi industry and then some.
Then these guys net $2,500,000
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]
And now an app which does fucking NOTHING except send the message "yo" to people with the same app installed is valued at $3.3 per user? WHAT THE FUCK? You funded that and you won't fund me? Are you mad?
And that is, I believe, why it's depressing.
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Yes precisely. That's why one often needs the money to grow. You've found a niche and built a product. Now you need money to market because you're a tech guy and the "free" marketing you can do yourself isn't worth the money. This might even be part of your business plan.
The trouble is business plans are a reasonable thing from reasonable people. Anyone who thinks that a yo apps users are worth over three bucks each is not reasonable. But because one app in a million makes someone insanely wealthy, but gets
"Cambrian Genomics" (Score:3)
Cambrian Genomics
...was he depressed that making dinosaurs was harder than he'd been lead to believe?
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Depression? (Score:4, Insightful)
Quite understandable. (Score:5, Interesting)
Also 7% being depressed in general population is definitely an underestimate. Till Obamacare came along some 40 million Americans had no access to healthcare. (Now that number is believed to be 25 million). Among the rest mental health screening is not covered for most of the lower end plans. Further given the taboo associated with mental illness even those with access do not get checked for depression. It is possible I myself would be diagnosed with depression, if I give the shrinks half a chance. Tech founders typically have enough resources to make it to college. They would get tested more than general population.
I think depression is more prevalent than assumed. And logically there are lots of reasons why most people, young ones more than others, should be depressed.
...MORE prevalent than assumed. Maybe... (Score:3)
From TFA:
A recent study by Dr. Michael Freeman, a clinical professor at UCSF and an entrepreneur as well, was one of the first of its kind to link higher rates of mental health issues to entrepreneurship.
Of the 242 entrepreneurs surveyed, 49% reported having a mental-health condition. Depression was the No. 1 reported condition among them and was present in 30% of all entrepreneurs, followed by ADHD (29%) and anxiety problems (27%). That's a much higher percentage than the US population at large, where only about 7% identify as depressed.
More surprising was the incidence of mental health in the families of entrepreneurs: 72% said they either had mental-health problems themselves or in their immediate family.
A founder who has no history of mental illness from a family with no history either "is the exception, not the rule," Freeman said.
Also, from the study mentioned:
http://www.michaelafreemanmd.c... [michaelafreemanmd.com]
Little is known about mental health conditions among the families of entrepreneurs. Of some relevance, though, is the fact that previous research has shown that first and second-degree family members of bipolar probands are high achievers across several domains that are important for entrepreneurship. Higier and her colleagues found that when compared to bipolar probands and normal controls, the unaffected identical twins of people with bipolar disorder demonstrate superior cognitive and interpersonal traits that would seem highly important for entrepreneurship, including enhanced social ease, confidence, assertiveness, intelligence, verbal learning, verbal fluency, extraversion, sociability, optimism, and resilience [89].
Coryell et al. found that the first-degree relatives of bipolar probands, including relatives with bipolar spectrum conditions, had significantly higher educational and occupational achievement than the close family members of people with other mental health conditions [72]. Other studies conducted over the last 100 years have reached similar conclusions [73, 74, 76, 90-92].
Creativity and innovativeness are foundational aptitudes of entrepreneurs. The close family members of bipolar probands have been shown to have high levels of creativity [23, 68]. First-degree relatives of people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anorexia nervosa, and autism have been shown to be overrepresented in the scientific and artistic occupations [66]. Male relatives of people with schizophrenia were shown to be overrepresented in a listing of prominent people [93].
Also, ALSO, from the study:
Reviewed in conjunction with the results displayed Figure 1, 72% of the entrepreneurs in this sample either reported a personal mental health history (49%) or were asymptomatic yet reported a family mental health history (23%). By contrast, 48% of the comparison participants in this sample reported a personal mental health history (32%) or were asymptomatic yet reported a family mental health history (16%).
There IS also a PRETTY BIG issue with it being a self-reporting study and with the composition and the design of the control group.
Control was created by surveying "76 MBA student and faculty pool participants, and 149 psychology students", then mixing those participants with self-reported "entrepreneurs".
Then, out of the total sum of 335 participants (meaning that 110 were actually pooled from "actual entre
Bad science? (Score:5, Interesting)
What percentage of people who begin startups have a history of depression?
I know that some years ago a doctor quizzed me about depression.
Me "Well... yes, sometimes" "Isn't that normal?"
GP "It's not healthy" "Do you ever feel sad about events outside of your control?"
Me "For instance?"
GP. "Do events in other countries ever make you feel sad?"
Me "Yes" "Seems normal to me that knowing other people are suffering doesn't make me happy"
The GP then tried to prescribe me Xanax - which just made me feel depressed (no - I never took Xanax). So I have a history of depression (there's more than that incident - I do have "black days" where I want to stay in bed and avoid the world). Whether that's serious or normal doesn't change the fact that I've started a number of successful new businesses, and as part of the process I've often neglected my diet, been extremely stressed, and suffered from extreme lack of sleep. Others with similar business history report the same thing - periods of optimism, energy and the feeling that the brain (and the mouth) are at their optimum, followed by periods when I get words wrong, struggle to get out of bed, feel mentally sluggish, and have difficulty believing things will "go well".
Clearly I haven't committed suicide, but was it the startups that caused the "depression" - or the "side-effects" of "depression" ("extreme" optimism and "energy") that "impelled" the desire to startup a new business venture?
My "suspicion" is that starting any new business involves mixed emotions. Losses loom larger than gains - and despite initial optimism there will always be periods of doubt. It kind of balances out, no ups without downs.
Anything new involves risks - and to many the risks appear larger as the involvement shifts from dipping your toes to taking a plunge. Terms like "bi-polar" and "manic" get bandied about when describing people who are successful at taking risks but I've seen little to show that's a result of starting a new/novel venture. Perhaps I'm too depressed to look in the right places?
Note: after the first couple of experiences the process is much easier to deal with as you can look back on previous occasions when it felt like the sun would never shine again - and know that good things, while often hard to imagine - are just as likely outcomes as the bad things that are much easier to imagine. That seems normal to me.
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Before some armchair asshat brands you as bipolar, consider that depression is a natural result of effectively burning out the anxiety receptors/generators.
Too much stress, and you either lack the stress hormone generation, or you are desensitized to its effects.
Untreated anxiety results in depression. For some, that means a trip to the doc for some meds. For others, it means time to do something exciting, like start a new company.
Serial startups may be self medication. It may seem like you are coping we
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Before some armchair asshat brands you as bipolar, consider that depression is a natural result of effectively burning out the anxiety receptors/generators.
Thanks - but I've never been labeled bi-polar, or manic-depressant (well, once or twice). Over-enthuasiastic, yes, and also accused of "thinking too much" - neither of which labels worry me (nor smart-arse, especially considering the antithesis).
Too much stress, and you either lack the stress hormone generation, or you are desensitized to its effects.
Oh I stress. And I worry. But neither consume me. A certain amount of stress is good, and worry is just a sign that some risk needs to be managed - beyond that I'm not concerned.
Untreated anxiety results in depression. For some, that means a trip to the doc for some meds. For others, it means time to do something exciting, like start a new company.
Agreed - though I suspect the medical "solution" is the result of not properly addressin
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As a personal note - excessive, semi-random use of rhetorical/grammatical tools like "scare quotes" also correlates to BPD. Combine that wi
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Stress can be depressing, and creativity correlates with chronic depression. No surprise that depressed people could have a great idea to turn into a startup, or that the stress of doing so could express as depression. In the case of BiPolar disorder, that manic phase has obvious advantages for an entrepreneur, but people with BPD rarely consider themselves depressed.
And yet... I do freely admit to often having been depressed. Why do you sound like the childhood shrink who diagnosed me as hyperactive - while the very book he was quoting from noted that a key symptom was "thrive on lack of sleep". I like my sleep, always have.
As a personal note - excessive, semi-random use of rhetorical/grammatical tools like "scare quotes" also correlates to BPD.
Excessive? Semi-random? You don't read like much of a psychiatrist or a semiotician
Combine that with starting a number of successful businesses during periods of high-energy, optimism and a sense of operating at a mental optimum, along with phases of crippling depression, and you've pretty much announced that you have BPD. I'll be the armchair asshat who says it - you just described the symptoms perfectly. No criticism, no shaming, I'm just going to recommend you repeat that to a psychiatrist.
Yeah - you are an asshat. You sound like one of those "I have a problem but 10 visits to a shrink cured me - now I'm an expert in spotting the specks in other people
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But your use of scare quotes is still ridiculous.
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You see a blurb of text on a screen without any additional factors and attempt to draw a meaningful conclusion, a diagnostic conclusion no less, based on that? That is akin to seeing my foot and telling me that you have concluded that I am an elephant.
I just looked up the manual - turns out he's right. The erratic use of scare quotes is proof of bi-polar. They look like bats "". Scary.
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Ever read something written by someone with BPD during one of the extremes?
No - I don't believe I have. I've never put ants up my nose either. Guess I'm not very adventurous.
I did flick through a couple of pages of Shirley McLaine's "Out of my Tree" and that Dan Brown book once (I couldn't sleep) - do they count?
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Ozzy Osbourne snorted ants once. He didn't recommend it, but he didn't specifically warn against it either.
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What I meant to say, to you, was along the lines of; Yeah. I found it a bit odd that they were "seeing" things in the other person's post. It was remarkable how much insight they could gather from those limited sentences. Their ability to grasp a person's mental health status with so limited information should be lauded and investigated as they truly can change the psychiatric medical field. I suspect they will get a Nobel Prize and be featured on the cover of both Time and Rolling Stone magazines. Also, the ladies will be impressed so they will further their genetic profile far and wide.
It's not psychosis - it's psychic abilities. Obviously.
Unhealthy society. Not just in business or tech. (Score:5, Insightful)
This isn't just about startups, this is across U.S. society—there is zero work-life balance.
Sure, every other company proclaims how great they are WRT work-life balance, but it's pure bullshit.
During hiring (for employees) and/or funding (for startups), if you give any evidence that you will ever put anything before the company (family, health, whatever, it doesn't matter) in ANY way, or ever draw a line in the sand about hours/commitment at ANY number, you are totally noncompetitive/nonfundable (they won't use these words) and won't be hired/be funded. If there is any evidence in your CV, online persona, or history that you have ever done any of these things, you won't be hired/funded.
Even after employment/funding, you have to keep this up. Sure, you may be asked (or even pressed) to "slow down," but it's superficial. The moment you do, positive evaluations/promotions/funding dries up; there is a perception that you're "not serious," "not committed," "not a good risk," or simply "not as capable/investment-worthy" as those *other* supermen/women that work 100+ hours a week (at least) and always put work first.
Yes, they want you to take a break, take care of yourself, and balance your life. But hey, if someone else delivers more value or growth more quickly... Well, they'd be nuts not to go with them instead, and hope you stay healthy in the meantime, all the best.
So, in the interest of your self/family/relationships you try to build a career that precisely demands that in order to keep it, you destroy your self/family/relationships. Depression is easy to fall into when your life will fall apart no matter what you do.
Re:Unhealthy society. Not just in business or tech (Score:4, Interesting)
I have experience since 2002 with 4 different Fortune 150 or less businesses, and not once seen anything like this.
I *have* seen people saying "I'm too busy" and working exactly 40 hours, but you can't justify hiring more people when you are getting 90% of the work done in 40 hours. Maybe if you have more than 10 people to cover a single role, but even large companies tend towards smaller teams, perhaps with more managers than are necessary. So you generally don't have enough work to justify a new hire.
I also know people who worked at other Fortune 500 or less companies, at least 10 with enough detail to be sure that they have not seen anything like what you describe.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I do think you're in the wrong job market if you think this is bullshit.
Someone else delivers more value or growth, that's a problem with either your skill set or their desire to burn out. And I would not want to hire someone who looks like they will be a burnout in 5 years.
Go job hunting now, and get out of whatever network you are in, because you sound trapped by your own ignorance.
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Of course you wouldn't. They obviously don't work hard enough. You want the folks that you can work into the ground in 6 months or so, then fire them for having human reactions to extreme overwork and burnout, and replace them with someone else who makes less money. Lather rinse repeat. Take a bath in all the money that you've made off of others' hard work and sacrifice. It's the American way.
This is what I do now, too. (Score:2)
I state up front that I work on my own terms. I have talent to offer and can solve problems that others often can't, but I place a premium on flexibility and on my own health and family. I am incredibly productive, more than many other employees, but I do not offer *maximum productivity*, i.e. "as much as I am humanly able to produce." Even if it seems that I have more to offer (i.e. I leave at 6:30 when everyone else is still working and Skyping me at 11:30 pm, I travel a only couple of times per year and
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One has to do more than your average bear to build a business from the ground up, how is that a surprise in any way? If it were easy, everybody would be doing it and it wouldn't be discussed here right now. I started up my own businesses but always self funded / got a client for the product. To do that I put 10 years of savings and years of work on the line, that is not an easy thing to do. But if I were unwilling to do it myself, how could I ever expect somebody else to do it on my behalf?
Geez. I thought it was only me. (Score:1)
Bipolar - Manic Depression (Score:1)
It's 30% of everyone (Score:3)
30% is just about the average in the Western world - nothing special about this particular group in this regard. It's a severely under appreciated problem when you consider the immense cost [nih.gov] in DALY or YLD.
World Health Organization (WHO) states that depression is the leading cause of disability as measured by Years Lived with Disability (YLDs) and the fourth leading contributor to the global burden of disease.
You know what correlates strongly with depression? (Score:3)
Tortured souls make the world go round (Score:2)
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You only know about the small percentage of startups that succeed. Most fail within a year. The failure rate is 80% within 18 months, by some estimates.
That's over twice as good as restaurants. Let's not forget that anyone running a startup with their own money has already failed. You need at minimum three people for any startup: the techie, the schmooze, and the lawyer.
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Restaurants have a failure of 160% at 9 months?
No, they have a failure rate over 90% at 12 months, actually.
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Fallacy (Score:3, Interesting)
Privilege white people committing suicide? I'm playing my smallest violin in sympathy
1. Not all startup founders are 'white people' and not all of them are 'privileged' either
2. Most of the startup founders do not commit suicide
3. Stress level for startup founders - no matter what kind of startup - is high, but this is natural, as the journey of starting up a new company (in any industry) is a rocky road filled with a mix of excitement / trepidation / frustration
As for the percentage of the excitement versus that of trepidation versus that of frustration largely depends on
A. The regional /
Re:LOL (Score:5, Insightful)
The culture of Silicon Valley and California in general is to sound positive all the time and avoid the negative -- people would much rather say nothing or offer platitudes than say "no". This forms part of the problem leading to depression -- everyone is "fake" and say things for political reasons, constantly on social networking talking up their accomplishments and that of their company. Of course, most of it is smoke and mirrors. Also the tech scene can be very pretentious and it takes a lot to "keep up with the Joneses" and stay in the social circles they prize. It becomes too much for many and they become depressed and fade away, replaced at their companies by the VC board. And some willing 20-something then comes and tries to fill their shoes and the cycle repeats.
No one wants to hire a depressed person. No one wants to go on dates with a depressed person (well, at least not many people -- negative/depressed dating site profiles don't get many replies). So, they conceal it until they break with full knowledge that when they break, they'll simply be replaced or their company will simply fail.
Don't forget about burnout! (Score:1)
It isn't just depression. Burnout is a serious problem, too!
For example, today I read this awful description of burnout [reddit.com]. In that case we have a programmer writing stuff like
I'm currently in a state where I litterally just can't write code. At all. I get dizzy, headaches, I've even cried a few times just at the sight of my text editor.
and
A little over a month ago, only 3 years into the project, I blew up. One day I woke up, sat in front of my computer and broke up in tears. Called the boss to tell him I couldn't work for a few days. To this day I still can't code. I'm not even sure I will ever be able to code again either. For now I'm looking at applying for Walmart for an undetermined amount of time.
That type of story makes me very sad. You know things are bad when an adult man is brought to tears, and is potentially never able to code again. This is a serious problem, but it goes completely unrecognized or unacknowledged so often!
Re:Don't forget about burnout! (Score:5, Insightful)
His mistake was simple. He decided to be irreplaceable because he didn't think anyone could do as good a job as he could. You can't do that. That never, ever works out well for you.
Now, a startup founder is a really important person for their company, of course. However, even they need to work towards limiting their workload, at least eventually.
There's no point to building a startup if you end up dead or broken at the end of it. If you see it coming, then you need to act to fix it. If you go with the idea that you work or your startup fails, then when you break down, your startup will fail anyway. That or if you do make a successful startup, but break down because of making it successful, congratulations, you've just defined Pyrrhic victory for the startup scene. You'd probably have been better off as a wage slave at the end of it.
Some people are driven to try and succeed, and the journey can be as rewarding all by itself, even with failure at the end. But if you aren't someone who can enjoy, or at least regard the journey as a rewarding learning experience, you should not be founding a startup.
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THE MARKET® should be building massive housing projects in order to fill a need for inexpensive housing. Why is that not the case? Maybe because the people who run the show like sitting on a very valuable resource (buildings), so they elect officials who put plenty of restrictions in place, such as height restrictions, "open spaces" or historical districts, in order to keep their resource scarce and expensive.
Not saying that in a true free market landlords might attempt to sabotage new entrants with ot
So what (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously, if you have enough cash and connections to even think about starting a company, or even doing one of these new-fangled "startups", then you're better off than 95% of the country and better of than 99% of the world.
So what? You still have a problem to deal with. Doesn't matter if you're fortunate or driven or whatever to be in the position with the skill-set to drive a startup.
In serious circles (C-level employees, attorneys, doctors, academic faculty, anyone with a security clearance) psychological treatment is still heavily stigmatized. That's dumb. Psychological treatment should just be a fact of life--someone's getting treatment, that should be fine. If it's not, you encourage them not to seek treatment, in which case you have people with *untreated* psychological problems in positions of power.
If you have any pull in your org, you should be advocating for making these things okay. Not as a top priority, but as a significant one.
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Both the Navy and the APA disagree with you (Score:3, Informative)
Oh bull. Therapy is a throw away thing today. The stigmata evaporated along about the '80s.
http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcsd/nccosc/healthProfessionalsV2/reports/Documents/Stigma%20White%20Paper.pdf [navy.mil] from the Navy says seeking mental health treatment is still heavily stigmatized in the military / clearance world and the American Psychological Association agrees with them http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/06/stigma-war.aspx [apa.org]
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Oh bull. Therapy is a throw away thing today. The stigmata evaporated along about the '80s.
If you think I'm wrong, try slipping a reference to some condition of yours into every third conversation for a week and see how people react.
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Re:So what (Score:5, Insightful)
It isn't a psychological condition, but my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome/High Functioning Autism. Since the diagnosis (aka knowing what we're dealing with and not just taking random actions hoping something works), we've made a lot of progress dealing with my son's behaviors and helping him be a more effective student in school. (He's crazy smart so before supports he wound up "dropping down" to normal. Now he's getting high 90's in almost all his classes.)
Despite all of this, my father keeps insisting that this is something he'll grow out of (you don't grow out of Autism), or that he doesn't really have it because he had a good accomplishment (no, going whitewater rafting doesn't mean you've been cured of Autism). My parents get even more defensive when I bring up that I think I'm an undiagnosed Aspie. (It wasn't diagnosed when I was young and all the signs fit how I've been for as long as I can remember.) They act as though my claiming that I am Autistic is an insult directed at them. (If anything, it's a testament to their parenting that I turned out well despite the lack of a proper diagnosis/supports.)
I'm sure people who deal with depression or other psychological issues encounter similar people. There are just some folks who think that just because it's a psychological issue, it's "all in your mind" and you can just try harder and make it go away. Suffer from depression? Just be happy! Having an anxiety attack? Just be calm! Do you have OCD? Just let it go. And if you get treatment for any of this stuff, these people will act as though you're weak for seeking help and not just taking it on alone. In truth, though, trying to take it on alone can be the worst thing to do. Get help. Get as much help as you need. Get professional help and help from family and friends. Ignore those people who try to act like you're just making it all up and can overcome it by just deciding not to have that condition. Those people should be tuned out and interacted with as little as possible.
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My parents get even more defensive when I bring up that I think I'm an undiagnosed Aspie.
Gosh, I wonder why?
Re: So what (Score:2)
I am 43, married, father of 2. Freelancer, software developer doing java in germany. End of last year due to some reasons I decided to go to a psychologist to find out whether or not I am an autist. Turns out I am. Asperger syndrome / High functioning autism. For me it was very important to get the diagnosis since it answered a question I had for 43 years: Why am I different and what makes me different.
For my parents and siblings this is a different story. they think that since I have a job, make decent mon
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In my case, a diagnosis would cost money when our budget is tight. I already have my coping mechanisms so it wouldn't help me. My son's getting his help so a diagnosis for me wouldn't help him. I'm comfortable knowing that I have Asperger's without having the diagnosis.
At this point, a diagnosis would mainly be to show other people to quiet them up if they claim I'm just making it up. Quite honestly, there is a limited group of people whose opinions I care about. If $RANDOM_PERSON or even $RANDOM_FAMIL
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One of my aleph_null rules of life: "If the answer doesn't matter, don't ask the question."
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> there's a chance that they'll have grown up and gathered enough coping strategies and reprogrammed their own behaviour enough that they're almost indistinguishable
Read that again, you wrote it, there is a special word there: CHANCE
The reality is that most never learn to cope, they only learn to cope partially.
So instead of having social peers to interact with, you have issues. And thats really bad.
It also means you stunt your social growth by years, if you ever recover.
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If you've ever known any actual autistic kids, there is no way on earth you'd mistake them for someone who's just a bit shit socially.
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In my experience gaining those coping strategies and sufficient acting ability to fool most people is not the same as growing out of it. I have to process all of that consciously at huge energy cost, and always with the nagging awareness that there are a lot of things I'm just not catching, but I don't know what they are.
It also only extends to the most common social situations, as soon as I move outside that set things fall apart. The anxiety and stress that causes is crippling. I can get through it f
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There is nothing wrong with your son. He doesn't have any syndrome. Patients with Autism can hardly speak, let alone get "90s" in all their classes. Your snowflake diagnosis to make your child "extra-special" is an insult to parents struggling with profoundly, permentantly, disabled offspring, an insult to your son whose natural condition wasn't enough to make you happy with him, and an insult to the intelligence of the rest of us who can see right through this ridiculous bullshit.
You are raising your son to be a sperg. Stop. You've done enough damage already. Get him a normal childhood in the time he has left. Otherwise he'll end up a mendacious, amoral, flake like you.
Autism is a spectrum and not everybody is the same.
I have an uncle who is profoundly disabled, like one-of-the-most-disabled-in-the-world-can't-speak-or-toilet-himself disabled, and it doesn't insult his parents or any of his relatives when another parent struggles to find the right care for their child's health. Doesn't matter if it's autism anywhere on the spectrum or a speech impediment or full-blown AIDS.
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http://www.mentalhealth.wa.gov... [wa.gov.au]
Three out of four people with a mental illness report that they have experienced stigma. Stigma is a mark of disgrace that sets a person apart. When a person is labelled by their illness they are seen as part of a stereotyped group. Negative attitudes create prejudice which leads to negative actions and discrimination.
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There are people without the cash but which do a startup anyway. The trouble is that some people think start ups are mainstream, the thing you're supposed to do. There's an absurd mythology around the entrepreneur and that if you're not one of them then you're just a loser. So they mortgage their homes and take a chance that has worse odds than any Vegas gambling table. Or if they don't do that they may be in a startup later in life and learn that their retirement options are vanishing because they deci
Depression is not self pity (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm not having a go at you personally, most people who don't understand depression have your dismissive attitude. I suggest you try educating yourself on the subject because odds are you will encounter a loved one with depression at some point in your life and it's handy to know what to do after telling them to "cheer up" doesn't work.
As for TFA, I don't find it surprising that "start up" people have a high proportion of manic-depressives, the manic phase of the illness is characterized by extreme optimism.
Shameless plug for a good cause [blackdogride.com.au]
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Would you say a financially comfortable american with terminal cancer is 'better off' than 99% of the world?
Yes I would.
Depression subtypes (Score:2)
I'm dealing with fairly severe dysphoric atypical depression at the moment (which i
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-Inability to afford medical treatment for several physical medical conditions that myself, my wife and my son suffer (mo
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Rich people have have problems too, just like the rest of us: family feuds
If I was rich I could move the hell away from the family drama. Both my wife and I would love to do this. Problem (mostly) solved. I don't deny there could be some lingering stress, but when you're a few hundred miles away it would not be debilitating.
marriage problems
The number one issue of contention in most marriages is money. The number two issue is infidelity, which is entirely up to the personality and attitudes of the people involved--we're in an (nominally, at least) ope
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> Would you say a financially comfortable american with terminal cancer is 'better off' than 99% of the world?
Better off than at least 50% of the world, possibly as high as 90%. They have access to high grade medical care which has a chance of saving them, time to spend with their family, some resources to leave for their family's care, access to high quality painkillers, and an opportunity to do a few "final wishes" they might otherwise miss out on. I've had several friends die from cancer: while the en
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lol u mad
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Fuck you and your My Little Pony friendship shit, you homofag. Just break a bottle on your head, slice your belly open with the shards and strangle yourself with your entrails. Loser.
Issues? Me?
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Much of the last depressive episode was tied to the implosion of my last start-up. It's been a couple years since I exited that project and I'm only now reaching a point where I'm building my next new business.
Wouldn't it be more sensible just to go and get a nice easy job somewhere, like the rest of us?
The sad part of our society. (Score:3, Insightful)
It's a sad fact of our society that more money is equated with more "happiness" or well being.
When I don't have enough people time, I get depressed. And by people time, I mean close authentic relationships in person. Our society's demand that we work all the time is making us more miserable. Try to scale back? can't because employers demand more and more of our time. So it's the nose to the grindstone or unemployment. We can't have a balanced life anymore.
We as a society are consuming more booze and drugs
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Depression is so misunderstood because people with depression insist that they have an invisible disease they can't magically get over, and drug companies pander to this by hooking people on Xanax and Zoloft. In developed countries--outside of third-world United States--we routinely treat anxiety and depression with great success: drugs might handle the most serious symptoms up-front, but cognitive therapies provide the long-term changes. Essentially, a licensed psychiatrist talks to you a bunch, and tr
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Yup, that's usually what people who don't suffer from clinical depression usually say...."GET OVER IT". It's just purely academic isn't it? Because in the real world we can all just "retrain" our thought processes and mentally force our bodies to produce the normal chemical cocktail that will make us happy. You think you have knowledge and it seems so logical to you. "It works for me so why not them?"
But you are correct in some things you said. You can absolutely train your body and mind to correct da
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Yup, that's usually what people who don't suffer from clinical depression usually say...."GET OVER IT".
I'm in the 9% of people who can use SAM-e to move from a depressive state to a hypomanic state. I spent 25 years not realizing I was depressed because I never hit baseline; alcohol actually shuts off the depression hard, putting me in a normalized state. Very small quantities of alcohol.
I eventually learned, through introspection, that the trigger was simple: any small problem causing an emotional sli
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Ugh, then you are the worst kind of clinical depression sufferer. You found an out and you still don't have empathy for the others who haven't. Well bully for you. Do you think you're the only one who busts his/her ass to overcome this? Do you think everyone else is just wallowing in self-pity? I for one have been fighting my whole life. Sometimes I win a battle, sometimes it wins a battle. But the war is perpetual and it sounds just as perpetual for you. We all suffer from the same symptoms but we
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Ugh, then you are the worst kind of clinical depression sufferer. You found an out and you still don't have empathy for the others who haven't.
I found a pattern, I found others following the same pattern, and I found international research showing that the pattern is known to science. I've also found that the scientific understanding of depression and its treatments are in the same class as the scientific understanding of global warming: while science has less than perfect understanding of either, it is
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tl;dr
I'm glad you found something that works for you. But regardless of all your babbel, you offer no room for sympathy and thus I offer no room for you or your ideas.
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I'm glad you found something that works for you.
This is a good meta-study [nih.gov], diving into guesswork and hypothesis on mechanisms of depression. Here's some science. TL;DR: pills, long-term (24 month), have over a 3/4 relapse rate; cognitive therapy, discontinued after 4 months, show just over 50% relapse in total after 24 months. Initially, PILLS ARE EXACTLY AS EFFECTIVE, IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, AS COGNITIVE THERAPY. Exactly as effective. You can do absolutely no worse without drug therapy than you can by just talking to depressed people to make the
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Seriously, if you have enough cash and connections to even think about starting a company, or even doing one of these new-fangled "startups", then you're better off than 95% of the country and better of than 99% of the world.
Robin Williams was in the upper 99.99999% of individuals in terms of financial well-being. He still got depressed.
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Are you sure? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new... [telegraph.co.uk]
Yes. From your link - " he had spent much of his life battling alcoholism, drug abuse and depression". So, yeah, he may have been depressed and poor when he died, but he was battling depression all along even when he was worth 75 million pounds. There were many times in his life when he was both rich and depressed.
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Seriously, if you have enough cash and connections to even think about starting a company, or even doing one of these new-fangled "startups", then you're better off than 95% of the country and better of than 99% of the world.
By your comment I take it that you care about nothing but money?
Re:LOL (Score:4, Interesting)
Correct. Clinical depression does not give a crap about how much money you have in the bank, though not having to worry about being homeless is a plus.
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Correct. Clinical depression does not give a crap about how much money you have in the bank, though not having to worry about being homeless is a plus.
Except for when the money runs out and you are covering payroll out-of-pocket and taking on debt until the money is far beyond spent because you are responsible, and it just may come together next week or next month.. again.. and again. Then add depression.
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It sucks, but it's common enough that I don't feel stigmatized. Although it could just be that my Wellbutrin is doing the trick (so did Paxil, but the sexual side effects were intolerable. Ruined a relationship or two, which was depressing). That sense of being stigmatized could just be another way your depression is expressing itself.
Depression does seem to correlate with creativity though.
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Getting fired isn't your depression manifesting itself. Go ahead, tell me with a straight face that a majority of employers out there wouldn't fire your ass if they found out you were in treatment for depression. They may not even have a choice in the matter; their liability insurer could require it.
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Getting fired for being in treatment is inane?
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