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Science Technology

CERN Gives Away Higgs Boson Particles To 10 Lucky Winners 71

Posted by samzenpus from the you-get-a-particle-and-you-get-one-and-you-get-one dept.
redletterdave writes "In an unprecedented move sure to shake up the world of particle physics, CERN announced on Monday that it will give away its newly-discovered Higgs boson particles in a lottery. But given the rarity of Higgs boson particles – only one particle is created out of one million million collisions – CERN will only be able to reward 10 lucky winners. 'At CERN, we have always believed in sharing the results of our research, and the time has come to make that tangible,' said CERN director of research Sergio Bertolucci. 'This is our way of saying thanks for the incredible level of enthusiasm that has greeted this discovery.'"
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CERN Gives Away Higgs Boson Particles To 10 Lucky Winners More

CERN Gives Away Higgs Boson Particles To 10 Lucky Winners

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  • zvyyvba the new xyzzy? (Score:3, Funny)

    by Quirkz ( 1206400 ) <rossNO@SPAMquirkz.com> on Monday April 01, 2013 @02:22PM (#43332659) Homepage

    I noticed the double zvyyvba in there as translation for "million million". It's got a nice pattern to it. I think it should be the new substitute for xyzzy. It's also what I'm going to pick from now on whenever I get to a site that already has the first 100 instances of my name plus number taken and I need some random username. The best part is it'll have a secret hidden meaning only obsessive ROT-13'ers will ever recognize.

  • My very own Higgs boson particle. (Score:4, Funny)

    by meddle99 ( 1946010 ) on Monday April 01, 2013 @02:23PM (#43332671)
    My very own little Higgs boson particle. I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.
  • I was wondering if you could teach yourself to read rot13-encoded text fluently, to the point that you'd no longer be translating every word in your head, but instead reading and comprehending the ciphertext directly. Would it be like learning to read as a child? And when you've managed to read rot13 like that, would you have lost the ability to read normal text fluently?
    • I made a little two row table, and busted it out by hand. After about 3 minutes, I was filling in faster than I could work the table. I imagine it's how ancient crypto's felt when they teased out "Ceasar attacks at dove" and then realized they'd injected an error. What is a Biggs Hoson?
    • You could. Sorta. And no. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_switching [wikipedia.org]

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Quirkz ( 1206400 )

      I can tell you if you take four years of Spanish and then try a semester of German, all the German will go in the same "language that's not English" slot in your brain, and you'll get the two mixed up badly. "Nostromos gehen por cervesa, ja?" But it won't touch your English abilities.

      • Pssst!
        Don't continue! That's the Spanish/German version of the Deadly Joke! It might fux0r with the French bits of your brain and then you won't have anything to go with your mayonnaise.

        And learning German will fuck with your English. Or as they say in Belgium: Aprender alemán va a arruinar tu Inglés.
        Oi gevalt!

  • Always read the fine print. (Score:5, Funny)

    by MiniMike ( 234881 ) on Monday April 01, 2013 @02:27PM (#43332699)

    Winner must be present at particle detector to receive prize. Winner must claim prize within 1.6×1022 s. Winner is responsible for all costs associated with removing prize from CERN property. CERN is not responsible for damages caused by spontaneous decay of prize. Winner is responsible for removing any decay products from CERN property at their own expense.

  • Nice one! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mwvdlee ( 775178 ) on Monday April 01, 2013 @02:30PM (#43332721) Homepage

    That's actually a pretty funny April's fool.
    Too bad Slashdot screwed it up by applying it's terribly unfunny Rot13 thing.
    Kinda like an annoying cartman yelling "Hey! Look at me! Give me attention!".
    Any other tech/nerd/geek-oriented site with comments to replace the downward spiral that is slashdot?

    • Any other tech/nerd/geek-oriented site with comments to replace the downward spiral that is slashdot?

      I also like to read this site:
      c5e2 4601 86f7 233c 927e 7dc2 dcc7 03c0 e500 b653 ca82 273b 7bfa d804 5a85 a470

      Note that the URL has been encoded using a SHA routine for your protection.

    • I'm hoping they turn it off tomorrow, what's the point of logging in if I still don't get to see the posts besides /. laughing? The number of comments has dropped significantly too due to their "humor."

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by gl4ss ( 559668 )

      el reg, but the comments ain't as free and fewer random stuff.

      verge used to be ok for half a year but now they've gone all batshit hipster save the world and educate everyone about cyber this and cyber that insane(at least slashdot doesn't try to fuck up everything so bad with trying to come up with a different css for every story).

    • Respect my authorataaah!

  • To produce just one Higgs particle costs tens of thousands of millions of dollars!

    Then to just causally give ten away at random is a scandalous waste of money!!

    I think it is a SCAM!!!

    These people also support Evolution, and hence claim the Earth is thousands of millions of years old!!!!

    As Creationists Know, the Earth was created only 6 thousand years ago by the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!!!

      • An excellent idea!

        In the off-season, the CERN computers are only doing 'theoretical' calculations, and since Creationists say that Evolution is only a 'theory' we know that anything theoretical is of no consequence hence that creating bitcoins would be more useful...

        Did you hear that the new Pope is repainting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to more accurately reflect the true image of God - as we all know that God is not an old man with a white beard, but the Mighty FSM!.

  • The first post wasn't funny. The rest have been horrid.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Quirkz ( 1206400 )

      You know what? I've been posting here for five years, and I finally get my first post, and this is the crap I get in thanks? That's it, I quit. This dashslot game sucked anyway.

  • ....but then I took an arrow to the knee =(
    • Aww. Come on. We will propably blow up out Type 13* planet searching for the Higgs boson .A little arrow to the knee won't make too much of a difference.

      *obscure Lexx reference

  • Vg'f gbb onq Fynfuqbg unf pbzr gur vagbyrenoyr cvrpr bs fuvg gung vg unf orpbzr, jvgu guvf hggreyl hashaal nggrzcg ng pyvpxonvgvat gur hfreonfr.

    Funzrshy naq fnq gung Fynfuqbg vf zreryl n gheq pbzcnerq gb jung vg hfrq gb or.

    Gvzr gb qryrgr gur byq obbxznex.

  • Not only do winners get their very own, individually serialized Higgs Boson, it comes complete with an elegant display case, molded to resemble a stale baguette [guardian.co.uk]

  • Gifts of this nature are just hard to receive as they are to produce. For any of the lucky winners who decide to receive their coveted boson, they need only be advised to pbzr cercnerq gb gel naq pngpu fzbxr jvgu gurve oner unaqf.

    • Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Higgs Boson Particle.
    • Caution: Higgs Boson Particle may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
    • Higgs Boson Particle should not be weighed, measured, or otherwise looked at or it will cease to exist.
    • Do not use Higgs Boson Particle on concrete.
    • Discontinue use of Higgs Boson Particle if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred spe

  • How long between being awarded the prize and it decaying?

  • The order operator thought I said "Bison".

    Buffalo for sale, $3 grand; you pay shipping.

  • I down modded every ROT-13'd reply I could!

    You're welcome.

  • Vatican particle physicists have confirmed that the Higgs boson confers mass on the Catholic Church, from 09:00 to 12:00 daily except Monday..
  • ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

  • The Pope has one! (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Here's the Pope [yahoo.com] holding a container with a Higgs boson inside it!

    Well, at least that's what I presume he's doing - how else can he give mass?

  • But I figured you would need to see the un-encrypted version in order to gather enough attention span for a ./er that matters to recognize the actual problem. I'm not sure whats up with your encrypted stories, but I could not find a simple answer in 3 seconds or less, so like the average user I'm going to go Google or Bing search the title of this article and read about it elsewhere.
    • That encryption scheme was old news when Gaius Iulius Caesar roamed the earth. If the Germans would have used that one then the people of Bletchley Park could have had an early weekend and time off for the rest of the war. Or they could have searched for the Higgs Boson in their spare time. Or(them being a bit English) for Higgin's Bottom.

  • I got mine tomorrow!

  • I want CERN working in my Bitcoin mine.

  • I guess after smashing them in the particle accelerator, they tend to get banged up a bit...
    What's the warranty period?

  • Can I put it in a pop bottle like dry ice?

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