The Science of Hugo Chavez's Long Term Embalming 215
Hugh Pickens writes writes "Discover Magazine reports that Hugo Chavez will apparently get an embalming job designed to keep him looking alive for decades similar to that of Russia's Vladimir Lenin, whose body still lies in a mausoleum in Moscow's Red Square, nearly 90 years after his death. So how do you preserve a human body for decades without it turning into a pile of melted tissue? First, get to work quickly. Upon death, the human body starts decomposing immediately. The way to stop it is with formaldehyde, a preservative used for the past century, which inhibits the enzyme decomposition as well as killing bacteria. 'You pump the chemical in, and as the formaldehyde hits the cells of the body, it firms up the protein of the cell, or fixates it,' says Vernie Fountain, head of the Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills in Springfield, Mo. 'That's what makes them stiff.' With a body that will have to be on display for years, it's likely to require a top-shelf, super-strong solution. 'If I were doing Hugo Chavez, I would strengthen the solution and use more preservative product,' says Fountain. Next, get a good moisturizer. Formaldehyde preserves, but it also dries out the body. Vaseline or other moisturizers can preserve the look of skin, according to Melissa Johnson Williams, executive director of the American Society of Embalmers. Finally keep cool. Heat decomposes a body so for long term preservation, the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s. Lastly, if Venezuelans really want to keep Hugo Chavez around forever, like many other world figures, there's only one solution that works, according to Fountain. 'The best form of preservation is mummification.'"
Plastination (Score:2, Interesting)
They should really look into plastination.
The whole process is specifically designed to put dead people on display.
Why? (Score:0, Interesting)
Why do we preserve the turds or our species?
Or be a saint (Score:5, Interesting)
boil him in rat piss (Score:0, Interesting)
then slice thinly on the bias
serve over wilted lettuce
Embalming, shudder (Score:5, Interesting)
In high school the essay Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain [hartlandhighschool.us] made a big impression on me; embalming was described as really creepy and artificial, which I suppose it is in any instance, but do they really need to circulate three to six gallons of dyed and perfumed solution of formaldehyde, glycerin, borax, phenol, alcohol and water through the stiff? It was much like when I found out that "milk" on the breakfast cereal on TV was actually glue. We're being scammed! Sort of.
Dumping all that junk into the ground doesn't seem very good for the environment, either - I imagine in the years since (late 60s) the essay was published a bit of attention has been paid to making embalming a bit less toxic - or was that not an issue in the first place? At any rate, cremation for me, thank you - although after losing both parents I've found out that isn't cheap, either.
Have they considered plastination? (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Call me skeptical (Score:4, Interesting)
They are asking Russians to do it, so Chaves will be ok :)
I would love to live in a world where all presidents or whatever called heads of a state are embalmed and stored in a mausoleums for the amusement of the next generations.
What somewhat surprises me is that they don't get the wacky plastination [bodyworlds.com] guy in on the project. The actual product isn't really a preserved body in any useful sense(as the name suggests, the original tissue is largely replaced by polymers); but the replacement occurs down to impressively tiny details, the results look fantastic, and they last nobody-knows-how-long-but-a-long-time under normal indoor conditions.
Re:Preserved To Show Who Took over $100 Billion... (Score:3, Interesting)
"while the citizens who elected Hugo Chavez received no benefit"
They disagree.
Re:Preserved To Show Who Took over $100 Billion... (Score:0, Interesting)
Bullshit. Venezuela did sell oil for cheap to Cuba, but Cuba helped Venezuela with education. Cuba also helped with doctors, although they'd probably send them even without receiving money, since they do a lot of work in poor countries already. The poorest Venezuelans are better off today than when they gave all the oil money to foreign corporations, just look at the numbers. All that and Chavez finally managed to get Venezuela into Mercosur. And before you start it, Chavez won two elections (ending the two party duopolly) so whatever he did had the support of the majority of the people.
Re:Embalming, shudder (Score:5, Interesting)
Post-death processing is heavily regulated in most states, and like most regulation it tends to drive up prices and limit entry into the field. It is a splendid example of Fascism. My experience is in Connecticut: you can't process the estate to hand out inheritances until you have a death certificate. Only funeral homes can originate death certificates.
Disposing of a corpse should probably cost about $200. In Connecticut, it's over $6000 (year 2009).