The Science of Hugo Chavez's Long Term Embalming 215
Hugh Pickens writes writes "Discover Magazine reports that Hugo Chavez will apparently get an embalming job designed to keep him looking alive for decades similar to that of Russia's Vladimir Lenin, whose body still lies in a mausoleum in Moscow's Red Square, nearly 90 years after his death. So how do you preserve a human body for decades without it turning into a pile of melted tissue? First, get to work quickly. Upon death, the human body starts decomposing immediately. The way to stop it is with formaldehyde, a preservative used for the past century, which inhibits the enzyme decomposition as well as killing bacteria. 'You pump the chemical in, and as the formaldehyde hits the cells of the body, it firms up the protein of the cell, or fixates it,' says Vernie Fountain, head of the Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills in Springfield, Mo. 'That's what makes them stiff.' With a body that will have to be on display for years, it's likely to require a top-shelf, super-strong solution. 'If I were doing Hugo Chavez, I would strengthen the solution and use more preservative product,' says Fountain. Next, get a good moisturizer. Formaldehyde preserves, but it also dries out the body. Vaseline or other moisturizers can preserve the look of skin, according to Melissa Johnson Williams, executive director of the American Society of Embalmers. Finally keep cool. Heat decomposes a body so for long term preservation, the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s. Lastly, if Venezuelans really want to keep Hugo Chavez around forever, like many other world figures, there's only one solution that works, according to Fountain. 'The best form of preservation is mummification.'"
Re:uh oh (Score:1, Funny)
Look for Democrats to do something similar for THEIR communist hero when Obama dies of old age, still in office, 30 years from now.
Re:Call me skeptical (Score:5, Funny)
But I highly doubt they're going to be able to do this properly.
I doubt their embalming job would last a year.
They just don't strike me as the kind of people who can pull it off.
Check out the web site for "Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills". If these guys do embalming with the same professionalism they utilize with web site creation, they'd get better results if they stuck Chavez in a blender.
But they don't need to preserve him forever. (Score:2, Funny)
Until the current "left wing" populist government falls will suffice. The "Right" will promptly bury him. Then when the revolution comes again the "Left" can dig him up and put him back on display, nicely (or nastily) mummified.
Perhaps they should build a pyramid...
I started the embalming process years ago (Score:5, Funny)
Re:uh oh (Score:0, Funny)
Yep, looks pretty dead-on.
Here's hoping (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Super Cooling (Score:5, Funny)
He was jerky enough when he was alive
Re:I find this rather nauseous... (Score:4, Funny)
Good old Jeremy Bentham [ucl.ac.uk] makes an entertaining visit...
But is it utilitarian?