Endangered Species Condoms 61

Posted by samzenpus on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:11AM from the make-it-growl dept.

The Center for Biological Diversity wants to help put a polar bear in your pants with their endangered species condom campaign. They hope that giving away 100,000 free Endangered Species Condoms across the country will highlight how unsustainable human population growth is driving species to extinction, and instill the sexual prowess of the coquí guajón rock frog, nature's most passionate lover, in the condom users. From the article: "To help people understand the impact of overpopulation on other species, and to give them a chance to take action in their own lives, the Center is distributing free packets of Endangered Species Condoms depicting six separate species: the polar bear, snail darter, spotted owl, American burying beetle, jaguar, and coquí guajón rock frog."

Endangered Species Condoms

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Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:4, Funny)

by mrsteveman1 ( 1010381 ) writes: on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:17AM (#31700964)

Won't these species just become extinct if they can't successfully reproduce?

- Re:Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:4, Insightful)
  
  by tomhudson ( 43916 ) writes: <barbara@hudson.barbara-hudson@com> on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:25AM (#31701014) Journal
  
  That's why they're announcing it on slashdot - the one place they can test trial on an endangered species without causing any real reduction in reproductive options.
  
- Re:Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:5, Funny)
  
  by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes: on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:29AM (#31701058)
  
  Not likely... you ever try putting a condom on an American burying beetle? I tried for hours, but eventually just gave up and let the little bugger have unprotected sex. Man, sometimes I can't even tell the male beetles from the female ones.
  
  - - - Re: (Score:2)
        
        by Coren22 ( 1625475 ) writes:
        
        The statements are equally true, to me that means that they are all just as false. :)
  - Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
    
    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
    
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
- Re: (Score:2)
  
  by Gerzel ( 240421 ) writes:
  
  No. The Right-Wingnuts are correct in that distributing condoms causes teen pregnancy. It works across species too.
- Re: (Score:1)
  
  by Optali ( 809880 ) writes:
  
  Well, yes, specially if they put condoms on their thingies!
These'll look great on my collectibles shelf (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

Hell knows I'll have no reason to use them.
Oh, anything we can do to help (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

I bet they can raise even more money by making the condoms out of endangered species.
- Re: (Score:1)
  
  by zerosomething ( 1353609 ) writes:
  
  There you go. Make them from the foreskins of sperm whales. Kind of like lamb skin condoms and avoids all that latex allergy stuff too.
  - Re: (Score:2)
    
    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
    
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    - Re: (Score:3, Informative)
      
      by Gerzel ( 240421 ) writes:
      
      Oh no that would be carefully cleaned off. The smegma costs extra and will mostly be imported to Japan.
      - Re: (Score:3)
        
        by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
        
        Comment removed based on user account deletion
Any real stories today? (Score:2)

by commodore64_love ( 1445365 ) writes:

???. Or has the tech industry taken time off? No really, I'm serious. Jokes are cool but so are things like:
Obama announces plans to give Medicare funds to Kaiser-Permanente for Digitizing Medical Records
- Re: (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by Anonymous Coward writes:
  
  No kidding. I don't trust anything at all on here today. It hasn't seemed this bad since the late 90s.
  - Re: (Score:2)
    
    by commodore64_love ( 1445365 ) writes:
    
    "Cmon. Everyone knows the best years were 1990 and earlier. You, sir, have demonstrated you are a putz." - Simpsons comic store guy
  - Re: (Score:1)
    
    by insufflate10mg ( 1711356 ) writes:
    
    Why do people keep saying this? An April Fool's Joke is something benevolent and many times obvious. What would make this story a good April Fool's Joke? What would make basically any other story posted so far today a good April Fool's Joke? April Fool's Day is supposed to be funny, not just a day where paranoid nerds suspect every news story of randomly being false.
- - Re: (Score:2)
    
    by choongiri ( 840652 ) writes:
    
    Huh? Are you saying that Obama's Medicare announcements are in some way connected to the tech industry?
    Digitizing Medical Records. Think about it.
Do not want. (Score:3, Funny)

by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes: on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:26AM (#31701028)

I tried these; couldn't see the picture. Apparently you have to unroll them a lot farther than I do...

- Re: (Score:2)
  
  by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
  
  Comment removed based on user account deletion
- Re: (Score:2)
  
  by treeves ( 963993 ) writes:
  
  The one-eyed python condom would be pretty cool, though.
Awesome for extinction fetishists (Score:2)

by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) writes:

This is great for them since the Endangered Species Act specifically prohibits shoving an endangered animal into bodily orifices.
- Re: (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes:
  
  Only if you're doing it to smuggle them across international borders. Recreational use is not specifically prohibited.
  - Re: (Score:2)
    
    by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) writes:
    
    Oh see I never thought of doing that for any reason but recreational which is why I was confused. When I want to smuggle an endangered animal, I just pretend it's a hat.
    - - Re: (Score:3, Funny)
        
        by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes:
        
        Hint: you have to move the tail out of the way before putting it on. And when you meet people on the street, the bear will inevitably say "Would you believe it started out as just a mole on my butt!", which is really annoying.
- Re: (Score:1)
  
  by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) writes:
  
  Win-win - it pleases the abstinence advocates too!
real men..... (Score:2, Funny)

by tverbeek ( 457094 ) writes:

A real man would insist on condoms actually made from the tissues of the endangered animals (a la "lambskin" condoms)!
- Re: (Score:2)
  
  by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes:
  
  Real men don't use condoms. Ever. Chuck Norris just rids himself of STDs with a roundhouse kick. And believe me, you don't wanna know what he does about unwanted pregnancies!
- Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
  
  by blackC0pter ( 1013737 ) writes:
  
  And here comes the marketing slogan, "gotta wear them all!" With just over 10,000 endangered species, I can't imagine how that could go wrong...
  
  http://www.earthsendangered.com/list.asp [earthsendangered.com]
Re: (Score:1)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:

Comment removed based on user account deletion
- Re: (Score:2, Funny)
  
  by Ibiwan ( 763664 ) writes:
  
  Sorry, but fuck the polar bear
  You DID catch the part where they're condoms, right?
  - Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
    
    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
    
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    - Re: (Score:2, Interesting)
      
      by sourcerror ( 1718066 ) writes:
      
      The problem is, that not everybody would get a polar bear, because there aren't enough of them.
      - Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
        
        by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes:
        
        Comment removed based on user account deletion
Not polar bears in these pants... (Score:1)

by a-zarkon! ( 1030790 ) writes:

We've got armadillos in our trousers! (Armadillos in danger of extinction? I doubt it, though they are leprous little buggers... http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1306/is-it-true-that-armadillos-carry-leprosy [straightdope.com]
On behalf of all of /. I ask the following query (Score:2)

by spleen_blender ( 949762 ) writes:

What the hell is a "condom" and why should we care?
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes: on Thursday April 01, 2010 @11:43AM (#31701160)

Comment removed based on user account deletion

- - Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
    
    by Coren22 ( 1625475 ) writes:
    
    The "women" in PETA do.
I like the slogans (Score:1)

by Megahard ( 1053072 ) writes:

Reminds me of the suggestions [netfunny.com] for National Condom Week.
In the year 2010 (Score:1)

by northernfrights ( 1653323 ) writes:

It is nearly impossible to differentiate between April Fools jokes, and actual news. I find this to be rather disturbing...
Ridiculous (Score:2)

by Dunbal ( 464142 ) * writes:

Obviously they have no idea of what their target market is. Anyone interested in endangered species is probably nerdy and thus has no use for a condom - they get in the way of masturbation.
Perhaps "pro football" or "pro wrestling" or "NASCAR" condoms would sell better...
Didn't read TFA (Score:2)

by PPH ( 736903 ) writes:
and wondered about the title...
- Isn't putting condoms on endangered species just going to make the problem worse?
- OK. Who is going to volunteer to slip that sucker on the polar bear?
That's nothing! (Score:2)

by PopeRatzo ( 965947 ) * writes:

wants to help put a polar bear in your pants
The python that's already there would have to make some room.
- Re: (Score:2, Funny)
  
  by archangel9 ( 1499897 ) writes:
  
  Just tell your boyfriend to back out slowly.
Put the blame in the right place! (Score:1)

by twitcher101 ( 1712418 ) writes:

The center is known for some level of hysterics (but also raising public awareness), and this is a case of hysterics. The problem is not population growth, the problem is overconsumption. The places in the world where population is growing tend to consume about 1/40th of the resources of the average person in the US. So until the population of India hits 12 Billion, I am more worried about resource waste in the first world (which tends to have shrinking populations) than population growth in the third world
Oh Boy (Score:2)

by multipartmixed ( 163409 ) writes:

I hope pythons are endangered
Nothing else would fit! :D
Options (Score:1)

by joeslugg ( 8092 ) writes:

depicting six separate species: the polar bear, snail darter, spotted owl, American burying beetle, jaguar, and coquí guajón rock frog.
What? No 'Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka'?
(Look out! He's coming right at us!!)
recycle (Score:3, Funny)

by Dare nMc ( 468959 ) writes: on Thursday April 01, 2010 @01:46PM (#31702028)

Don't forget to recycle, and re-use these condoms.
(something comes to mind about how to recycle a condom: "you just have to shake the f*ck out of it")

Population control (Score:1)

by inkrypted ( 1579407 ) writes:

Forget the condoms lets just have a moron hunting season we could use the people who actually thought this was real news.
A serious and intelligent initiative (Score:1)

by Optali ( 809880 ) writes:

That's it, a serious and very insightful campaign. I just can say one thing: WTF ? I mean, wtf guys? Can you imagine? It can totally KILL a hot night. There you are, you finally got the date with that super-hot chocolate chick of your dreams... she strips for you, you feel you are melting... she wants action, your weapon is ready, she takes the rubber, places it on your missile and pulls... and: "Oh darling, it's a real problem whit the ice bears, I agree that we have to do soemthing about it, you know.
Dear Mother Earth (Score:1)

by brisvegasdan ( 1754330 ) writes:

..we're rooting for you!

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:4, Insightful)

Re:Someone didn't think this through.... (Score:5, Funny)

Re: (Score:2)

Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

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Re: (Score:1)

These'll look great on my collectibles shelf (Score:1, Funny)

Oh, anything we can do to help (Score:1, Funny)

Re: (Score:1)

Re: (Score:2)

Re: (Score:3, Informative)

Re: (Score:3)

Any real stories today? (Score:2)

Re: (Score:3, Funny)

Re: (Score:2)

Re: (Score:1)

Re: (Score:2)

Do not want. (Score:3, Funny)

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Awesome for extinction fetishists (Score:2)

Re: (Score:3, Funny)

Re: (Score:2)

Re: (Score:3, Funny)

Re: (Score:1)

real men..... (Score:2, Funny)

Re: (Score:2)

Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

Re: (Score:1)

Re: (Score:2, Funny)

Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

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Not polar bears in these pants... (Score:1)

On behalf of all of /. I ask the following query (Score:2)

Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)

Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

I like the slogans (Score:1)

In the year 2010 (Score:1)

Ridiculous (Score:2)

Didn't read TFA (Score:2)

That's nothing! (Score:2)

Re: (Score:2, Funny)

Put the blame in the right place! (Score:1)

Oh Boy (Score:2)

Options (Score:1)

recycle (Score:3, Funny)

Population control (Score:1)

A serious and intelligent initiative (Score:1)

Dear Mother Earth (Score:1)

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