Italian Scientists Put Robot Spiders In Your Colon 203
Sockatume writes "Scientists in Italy have developed a robot which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs. The 'Spider-Pill' is fitted with a camera and will stow its legs until it reaches the lower intestine. Once there it can crawl around and take pictures under direction from surgeons. Its USP is that it's more appealing than an endoscopy." The BBC also has video.
Google's spiders crawling (Score:5, Funny)
In other news, Google is working on it's own version to integrate Googlebot to crawl more data into Google Maps. Soon you can zoom into a person you saw on the street and navigate inside her.
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Googlebutt, surely?
Re:Google's spiders crawling (Score:5, Funny)
I knew that robots.txt I had tattooed on my ass would come in handy.
User-agent: *
Disallow: /
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Re:Google's spiders crawling (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, welcome our...
Wait, no. Ew.
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They already have Google Moon, the rest of the solar system is just an obvious extension of the service. I'm not sure however why exactly they started with Uranus...
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So they're going from a back rub to a butt rob?
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Just in case someone forgot the reference, South Park had an episode where Mr Garrison's 'friend' had a gerbil shoved up his arse.
Evidently he thought it quite pleasurable.....
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Read "Guns Germs and Steel". It's not the answer you're hoping for.
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Yea but (Score:2, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, robot spiders put your colon in scientists!
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Wrecked 'im? Damn near killed 'im.
Call it Ziggy (Score:3, Funny)
- as in Mr Z Stardust and the spiders from arse
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So before we start getting nano-robotic overlords (Score:1)
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Universal Serial Puss?
Re:So before we start getting nano-robotic overlor (Score:5, Informative)
It stands for unique selling proposition. I would like to point out that "more appealing that an endoscopy" is not unique at all.
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This is exactly the kind of experience that I have NOT had, and what I am trying to enforce shouldn't be the norm these days. Perhaps I am delusional though. Every single procedure that I have had done, I can't remember a thing past the point where the doctor said "ok, I've given you some . You're going to feel a little tired". I wake up later in a recovery room.
Perhaps I am not the normal case, but I just have trouble believing that multiple doctors performing similar procedures would end up with exactly t
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Here you go [counterstrikeuk.co.uk]. A strange choice for spider robots in the colon to be sure.
Just Sayin... (Score:5, Funny)
The goatse guy would almost be ontopic.
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Obligatory Matrix reference (Score:4, Funny)
Why do I get visions of doctors that look like FBI agents inserting this device into me via my belly button?
Minority Report (Score:2)
Suddenly robot spiders that crawl around spying on your outsides doesn't seem quite so dystopian, now does it?
What exactly? (Score:3, Informative)
Have developed what? Developed which?
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Indeed, and Italian will never be the same. Hooray for language!
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What's so hard to understand?
We have developed which will accidentally your colon.
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You grammar Nazis and your missing commas. Fine, it should be: "Scientists in Italy have developed, which will move around the lower digestive tract using legs."
That doesn't really change the meaning, or the news, which is that apparently Italy has developed scientists. I guess the Italians found the large intestine so intriguing that they're placing their scientists inside of it to take pictures and report on their findings, and already they've discovered a new species of spider.
Oh boy! (Score:5, Funny)
and in related news.... (Score:5, Funny)
Italy has leapfrogged ahead of both Germany and Japan in the quest for making the weirdest adult films.....
Re:and in related news.... (Score:5, Informative)
Ever seen "Wild, Wild Planet", a.k.a. "I criminali della gallassia"? The Italians have had this distinction since at least 1965.
USP? (Score:5, Insightful)
Given a choice between a cable that's tethered to the outside world and a robot spider scuttling around inside my butt, I'd say the former was a win.
Re:USP? (Score:5, Funny)
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More "God help you" I think.
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And unsurprisingly Italy isn't in the USA.
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Golf ball size is no problem. Your turds can be wider than that.
When they start with the orange sized though... imagine them showing you the camera image on a screen. It's like "goatseing" yourself! ^^
There Was An Old Woman (Score:2)
There was an old woman who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.
There was an old woman who swallowed a bird,
How absurd! to swallow a bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't kn
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Glad I didn't have to quote it after all. I was just about to look up the lyrics. :P
Re:USP? (Score:5, Interesting)
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In Goatse town, SHE will feel a slight discomfort, when she notices that it arouses him. :P
Ok, not only in Goatse town. O:->
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I'm guessing you had a sigmoidoscopy and not a colonoscopy? Because the colonoscopy is a more extensive procedure, right beforehand they inject you with The Most Amazing Drugs Known To Man. It's almost worth the prep work you have to go through beforehand.
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Yowch! Judging by how my sigmoidoscopi felt without drugs I can only imagine how the colonoscopy sans chemical assistance must have felt.
Sorry dude.
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Given a choice between a cable that's tethered to the outside world and a robot spider scuttling around inside my butt, I'd say the former was a win.
No kidding. I've seen "Runaway."
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I've seen "Runaway."
A post that ties together Gene Simmons and butt spiders. Awesome!
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Seriously, I hate those suckers.
For whatever reason I may had developed "anal abscess" which is like a pimple in/outside your butt (mine was outside.)
Anyway before cutting it open they want to investigate that it haven't spread so they feel around with their finger.
But the thing is that at the first place the nurse was really hot, and well, it didn't hurt that much.
Anyway I had to go to the emergency ward to have it cut open and there was a male doctor over there instead and well, one would assume those wou
downside/upside (Score:1)
The worst part (Score:5, Interesting)
Yeah, I think you'd still have to fast and purge with whatever unpleasant substance the colorectal surgeon chooses to torture you with. The actual colonoscopy isn't painful or anything since you're sedated, it's just a hassle needing a ride home and a break from mental responsibilities.
But wouldn't you also have to stick around a doctor's office while you wait for the robot to get into position? Or would the robot be controlled really remotely, like by a technician in India while you're walking around the grocery store? And wouldn't you have to restrict your diet while you waited for the robot to pass? And wouldn't you have to collect the robot for return/disposal after you've both done your business?
Inspired by the meme! (Score:2, Funny)
Robot spiders? In MY colon?
It's more likely than you think.
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There was an old woman who swallowed.... (Score:4, Funny)
She swallowed the robo-spider to swallow the robo-fly, I don't know why, she swallowed the robo-fly, maybe she'll die.
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perhaps, perhaps! :(
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Better than gerbils I suppose... (Score:1, Offtopic)
Unless you like that kind of thing - with the small rodents.
Far superior to the Barium Enema (Score:1)
I don't care if this thing takes makes a home in my lower guts. Any procedure is superior to the barium enema.
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OMG! (Score:2)
Scientists...will move around the lower digestive tract using legs
That sounds quite painful!
They Crawled from Uranus (Score:2)
Woo (Score:1)
Hope the gerbil doesn't attack it.
Erm... (Score:2)
From the video page: "The 'spider pill', which is fitted with a camera, is swallowed by the patient and once within the colon or intestine the legs are opened."
The spider's legs or the patient's legs?
I'm hoping the former, otherwise there is a whole new door just opened in the practical joke market...
I hope the legs retract (Score:5, Funny)
before "exiting the body naturally."
Speaking of which, what is the natural way colon spiders exit the body? Don't they lay their eggs in there and the spiderlings eat their way out through the abdominal wall? I guess leg retraction isn't high on the agenda in that case.
Umm... no. (Score:5, Funny)
"Italian Scientists Put Robot Spiders In Your Colon"
Oh no they don't.
I cannot be the only one... (Score:2)
I'm pretty sure I've had that nightmare before.
What's wrong with a regular camera pill? (Score:2, Interesting)
There already exists a camera pill you can swallow that remotely sends information to a belt you wear for the day. You don't have to stay in the office, and the doctors don't have to waste their time controlling anything. They just watch the movie later in fast forward with some popcorn.
Is there *any* reason that a doctor would need control over this thing? It can't even get biopsies. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the only directions forward and back? Why don't they just just improve the camera t
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Awesome Mental Image (Score:2)
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Don't worry, the clown died [slashdot.org] in jail when a fat jail guard sat on him after he was arrested for child pornography and sex tourism. Details at the link.
Some clowns really ARE scary -- this guy was. He'd been a cop, a preacher, and a child care worker (among other scary things).
it crawls around for a while (Score:2)
Missing post? (Score:2)
I, for one, (Score:5, Informative)
welco... Aaaah! Aaaah! GET IT OUT!
Mod parent up (Score:2)
If I had points, I'd give you +1, Funny. ;)
Re:Mod parent up (Score:5, Informative)
"If I had points, I'd give you +1, Funny. ;)"
I was hoping for +1 Informative.
"You're going to help us, Mr Anderson... (Score:3, Funny)
...whether you want to, or not."
No big thing... (Score:2)
In the absence of any further evidence, think of it as an innuendo... :)
Transcript of first excursion (Score:5, Funny)
Robospider: IT'S SO DAMN DARK IN HERE I CAN'T SEE MY CLAW BEFORE MY FACE. HANG ON A SEC. LET ME GET MY LIGHTER.
Doctor: OK. WHAT? LIGHTER? NO DON'T
(SIGNAL LOST.)
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Re:Transcript of first excursion (Score:5, Funny)
A team of tiny tapeworms were trekking through a tract
As was their creed and calling, the purpose of their pact
When one among their numbers, who's eyes were not as strong
Decided he would light a match, not knowing this was wrong.
But the others saw the danger and screamed with tiny howls:
"He will ignite the methane gas! EVACUATE THE BOWELS!"
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Could be worse. These could be mini-Wile E Coyotebots. Then they'll light their lighters and find, for some reason, that your colon is packed with Acme brand TNT... and that their light has just lit the fuses.... The good news is that you won't need to worry about colon cancer.
When?!? (Score:2)
Reuse (Score:4, Funny)
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hehe. Have you seen Idiocracy? 'Nuf said.
The Itsy Bitsy Spider went... (Score:2, Informative)
...Up the water spout,
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
Wave did the spider to the surprised proctologist,
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
tee hee hee (Score:2)
That tickles!
Pass the Versed, Please! (Score:2)
(cue Jim Stafford - I don't like spiders and snakes...)
Scariest Headline (Score:2)
Hands down, that is the scariest headline I've ever seen here.
Pill (Score:2)
"I can't swallow that!"
"Good news! It's a suppository!"
I don't like spiders and snakes... (Score:2)
Isn't this inaccurate? (Score:2)
I wouldn't normally bring this up but
Who would stick spider bots in a man's rectum... (Score:2)
and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!
Re:Will it the entire digestive tract? (Score:4, Funny)
Don't me, I my sentences have subjects. I don't verbs though.
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Don't look now, but there's still a few verbs in there.
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You didn't what my verb.
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