Introducing the Warpship

astroengine writes "Dr. Richard Obousy, a guy who has put modern science into the warp drive, has designed his very own warpship. Now, for the first time, he's shared it with the world. It might not be the sleek Starship Enterprise, but its structure has been optimized to harness local 'dark energy,' generating a warp bubble so faster-than-light velocities are possible." Now, the only question is: will the ship achieve faster-than-light travel ... or will the company hit those speeds once it has enough money from investors?

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[T Murphy]

Because we all know from Douglas Adams that it takes so long to learn how to perform time travel you need time travel in order to do so. I don't recall what we're supposed to do instead, so just write 42 on everything and we'll be okay until we run out of towels.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[oneirophrenos]

How about we figure out how to warp time first and then figure out a ship to utilize that science for the sake of travel?

Where's the fun in that?!

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[gnick]

Yeah - Here's the kicker, found on Page 2 of TFA:

Exactly how the 11th dimension would be expanded and shrunk is still unknown.

Sounds pretty similar to the way I walk - I move my feet and the Earth rotates beneath me. I'm planning on starting to fly instead, it's just maintaining altitude after lift-off. But I won't let that small detail stop me from making travel plans - I'll work that out after jumping.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Jurily]

Where's the fun in that?!

Not where, when.

Re:Is it powered by bovine excretions?

[Red Flayer]

I have a warpship, and the design doesn't need to rely on

our current knowledge of spacetime and superstring theory to arrive at this futuristic concept

Instead, the design relies upon our future knowledge of spacetime and superstring[1] theory. That's the nice thing about it... warping space time in a bubble around the ship can result not only in FTL travel, but also time travel. So why should I constrain myself to the currently available theory?

[1] Also a little bit of sillystring theory, but it gets messy at that point, so I won't go into details.

A consultant said it so it *must* be true

[StuartHankins]

A consultant, eh? Making the big promises, he is?

Well when he's done and had his turn, I've got some marvelous things to show you. I wouldn't show just anybody, it's our secret. Everyone will want one and we'll be rich and famous so get them while you can now!

Understand your target audience

[Locke2005]

So, they are seeking funding from the same people that invested in the Moller Skycar [wikipedia.org], then?

Re:Venture capitalists

[routerl]

What was it someone said about "a fool and his money"?

That they're soul-mates and stay together forever?

Re:Scotty

[TinFoilMan]

Resistance is always futile, especially if a woman is involved.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[internerdj]

How am I supposed to secure the patent if I wait until after someone else has discovered the underlying science?

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[epiphani]

Sounds pretty similar to the way I walk - I move my feet and the Earth rotates beneath me. I'm planning on starting to fly instead, it's just maintaining altitude after lift-off. But I won't let that small detail stop me from making travel plans - I'll work that out after jumping.

Oh that part is relatively simple: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Re:Only solving half the problem...

[e4g4]

Causality-Shmausality. I dropped a glass because I found it in pieces on the floor just this afternoon...

Re:Venture capitalists

[th0mas_g]

I've always heard that a fool and his money are some party!

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[aardwolf64]

Steal their invention, then travel back in space-time and patent it.

tsk tsk, editors

[Eil]

Dr. Richard Obousy

Whoops, you spelled his name wrong, it should be "Zephram Cochrane".

Re:first

[imgumbydamnit]

first

Only if you mastered time travel.

Re:Only solving half the problem...

[EvilToiletPaper]

is that like a universal 404 error?

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[ground.zero.612]

I already have a time warping machine. I use it once daily to skip ahead 8hrs into tomorrow.

Re:Venture capitalists

[Anonymous Coward]

Investing in insane pipe-dreams is simply a rational hedge in a portfolio overly weighted toward sane endeavors.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Razalhague]

I've got one too, though unfortunately it's stuck going forward at x1 speed.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[DeltaStorm]

Oh that part is relatively simple: Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I never knew I had such good aim.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[ground.zero.612]

Mine varies by alcohol consumption.

Re:Only solving half the problem...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't worry, you can just buy a causality default swap as a hedge, and then tranche the resulting multiverse into marketable reality instruments.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Anonymous Coward]

You know what sound it makes when you jump and miss the ground?

Whoosh!

Hrmph

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you're just stringing us along.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Gilmoure]

Write up the button pushing process part of it, get that filed and then claim prior art?

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[WED Fan]

Yeah - Here's the kicker, found on Page 2 of TFA:

Exactly how the 11th dimension would be expanded and shrunk is still unknown.

Sounds pretty similar to the way I walk - I move my feet and the Earth rotates beneath me. I'm planning on starting to fly instead, it's just maintaining altitude after lift-off. But I won't let that small detail stop me from making travel plans - I'll work that out after jumping.

Being half serious:

How will those, that are aware in the 11th dimension, experience this when WE expand their Universe?

"Honey, does this warpship make my ass look fat?"

And the 11th dimensional husband heads out to the 9th dimension for a drink before he answers that question.

Travel faster than light...

[bagsta]

Can you imagine that when we make our first travel faster than light, a Vulcan spaceship(or any other alien except Borgs [fsdn.com] :P) will passing by our neighborhood and make the first contact with aliens...?

Noooo, I think I see too much science fiction

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[gnick]

"Honey, does this warpship make my ass look fat?"
--
Just because you aren't asking the question doesn't mean you aren't going to get the answer.

If those are at all related, I'm guessing you're single. If you're going to tell your wife that her ass looks like it's bending space-time, at least let her ask the question first. That's not the kind of thing you volunteer.

Re:Wormhole?

[x78]

We should harness energy from our own universe instead!
Wait that didn't go so well for Rodney did it...

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[jftitan]

all hail Orbo!

But it looks just like a DC-8...

[AliasMarlowe]

and is piloted by L Ron himself! Probably full of Thetans, too.

Re:Anonymous Coward

[Koim-Do]

and there [chick.com] it was all along..

Re:Is it powered by bovine excretions?

[Allicorn]

[e-mail]

This warpship will fly

[nausea_malvarma]

on the same day I play Duke Nukem Forever in HURD.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[flyingsquid]

All I can say is... that is one dorky looking spaceship. Looks sort of like some bike tires in an awkward three-way. I mean, come on! Can you imagine showing up for a space battle in that kind of thing? The rest of the galaxy would just think we were completely uncool. It'd be like the alien commander would take one look at the screen and he would hiss from his fifteen slime-covered mouths, "That's their ship? That thing? Wait, you're sure it's not like a refinery, or a space station, or some kind of orbital exercise facility? Maybe a decoy, and they have like a really awesome spaceship hidden behind it? Wow, so that's really the flagship of the Human fleet? Oh. Man, I feel sorry for these guys... maybe we should go easy on them." And then our admiral would have to lie and be all like, "Uh, it's not really my ship. Yeah, my ship's really badass. But it's in the shop. New photon torpedo tubes and a couple heavy laser banks. And we're putting some bitchin' flames on the side. This is just a rental till my real ship is back from the shop."

I am not saying that every spaceship has to be as awesome as the Millennium Falcon, but is he saying that we can solve the problem of harnessing dark energy, and we can solve the problem of warping the space-time continuum, but we can't figure out how to do it without building something that looks like an intergalactic Segway?

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[progmanj]

Forget time travel, lets just use the Infinite Improbability Drive! There's an infinite improbability that we'll get where we want to go, but we'll probably arrive as a petunia! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Improbability_drive#Infinite_Improbability_Drive [wikipedia.org] [wikipedia]

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[jcwayne]

The other 63/64 don't understand fractions.

Re:Only solving half the problem...

[genner]

What if you can only "change lanes" to other parallel dimensions, and can't "change speed" relative to our own timeline?

Then stay out of the left lane. Your slowing the rest of us down.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Martin Blank]

No, there's a finite improbability that we'll get where we want to go.

Before we can get an infinite improbability drive, we have to master finite probability physics. At that point, we can simply figure out the finite improbability of the existence of an infinite improbability drive, hook the system up to a nice, hot cup of tea, see it pop into existence, and then get beaten to death by a group of scientists who finally realize that the one thing that they really can't stand is a smartass.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[feepness]

You want to warp time? Spend a weekend at my in-laws.

Guaranteed it takes a month.

Re:Let's not put the cart before the horse

[Anonymous Coward]

This is the longest string of modded-funny comments I have ever seen on Slashdot.

Obligatory Futurama Quote

[baKanale]

The Professor: Where's the device that lets to speed up or slow down the passage of time?
Fry: [pulls out a bong] Under the seat.

Get a basic tech right, then make a warp drive

[woolio]

Hey, I'm all for manipulating dark matter and delving into the 11th dimension as the next guy...

But we can't even get operating systems to work as we want. And car gas mileage hasn't increased much in the past few decades. [No, I don't consider it to be an huge accomplishment that some tiny 1500lb car now gets ~33mpg on the highway when my 6 year old V6 Camry gets an actual 30mpg on the highway at 70mph. Should I be thrilled if you show me a car getting 40mpg? ].

I think we have much more pressing (easier) issues to solve before making a warp drive...

That said, given how people behave, it wouldn't quite surprise me if we have warp-drive spacecraft (including civilian inter-solar-system travel) before we have fuel-efficient transportation and decent operating systems.