Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer 283
CWmike writes "Ever picked up a cold, frosty beer on a hot summer's day and thought that it simply couldn't get any better? Well, think again. A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working on helping Joe Six Pack fight aging and cancer with every swill of beer." Thank you science! Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.
Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
I think if Star Trek has taught us anything, it's that baldness is one thing that will never be cured.
Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.
Re:Baldness (Score:4, Interesting)
"In the 24th century, they wouldn't care." [mentalfloss.com]
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In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.
In that case, here's your new red shirt. We were going to give you the blue shirt, but that wouldn't tell the audience that you're about to die. The way team will be beaming down to the dangerous planet immediately.
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We were going to give you the blue shirt, but that wouldn't tell the audience that you're about to die.
To boldly go, don't you see?
It's just a ploy, it's a fucking conspiracy!
The final frontier is just a lie
that kills thousands every year!
You and me, don't you see?
Brain washed at the fucking Academy.
This red shirt, I'll say it loud -
It ain't nothing but a fucking death shroud!
The red shirts are dying
The red shirts are dying
The red shirts are dying
I ain't lying
What they're selling you're buying
While the Captain's satisfying his itch in a ditch
with some green-skinned bitch
And the Federation grows increasingly
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This would explain why Picard got captured so many times. Starfleet should have never changed their command uniforms to red.
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Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
that's a common misconception. they're actually killed by sudden intense bursts of high-energy gamma rays, which are invisible to the naked eye. the sparks are secondary effects added artificially by the ship's computer system to make the crewmen's deaths look more festive.
this feature was deemed necessary to save doomed crew members from the shame of dying unceremoniously by innocuous-looking console malfunctions. in fact, before the pyrotechnic sparks and digital sound effects were added, many console operators' deaths would go unnoticed for hours, and sometimes even days. often Starfleet captains would unknowingly complete entire missions with a bridge full of dead crewmen sitting at their consoles--this is also why officers are now required to stand at the tactical station.
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Oh for crying out loud it was a typo.
Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
Curing baldness would probably be one of the evils that was abandoned after the Eugenics Wars. I'll note that Khan had a full head of hair. It's a slippery slope from Rogaine to genocide.
Making love in a canoe (Score:5, Insightful)
.
.
They're both fucking close to water.
- the Bruces, Woolloomooloo university
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY [youtube.com]
Making love in a canoe: an obsolete joke (Score:3, Informative)
That's a great example of an obsolete joke. It was funny in the 1970s, because it was true. Nowdays it makes you go "huh?" instead of laugh, because it doesn't make any sense. When you sip on some of those west coast IPAs or barleywines, you sometimes wonder if there's any water in it at all. "Geez, did they just put some malt and hops into a hydraulic press?"
Some say it was because of Carter repealing the homebrew prohibition in 1978, but I think America went from one of the worst countries for beer t
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Um, if you have a sip of Budweiser, it's the same nasty half-rice, half-wheat beer-like substance that it was in 1978. The majority of Americans still drink that swill and like it.
On the other hand, there's decent US brewers like Fat Tire, Rogue and Goose Island, and great brews from other brewers like Surly Darkness (I'm not a big bitter fan, so I'll pass on most of their other beers, but that one is good - and VERY expensive - cost me $20 to buy one off a friend, and I think they sold for something like
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:4, Funny)
Any drink that becomes more palatable the colder it gets is not worth drinking in the first place. What next -- Bud Numb, with anaesthetics to dull your tastebuds while you desperately try to prove your manliness by downing the foul stuff without vomiting?
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:4, Insightful)
What about a martini?
I apologize in advance... (Score:4, Funny)
Hence motto, "to baldly go where no one has gone before."
Guinness already does it... (Score:3, Informative)
Guinness is full of yummy flavonoids which zap oxidants and help protect against cancer.
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, the science is still out on 'Zapping' oxidants.
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Hehehe..great, FINALLY playing quarters will be healthy!!
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Interesting)
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Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Informative)
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Seriously though, in the mentioned in the article that you need somewhere around half a bottle of wine to get the health effects of the resveratrol. If a bottle is about 6 * 4oz glasses of wine, that means 3 glasses per day, and other researchers have found that more than 2 drinks of alcohol per day can have adverse health effects. So, my guess is they are looking for a way to give you 2 * 12oz beers with all the benefits of 3 * 4oz wine.
BTW,
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Insightful)
What is this thing with Guinness? The only difference between Guinness and yellow American beer is the color. If you want a good stout there are plenty to choose from. Instead people seem to treat Guinness as some kind of stand-out because it's the only dark-colored beer available in many places. That doesn't make it unique or even particularly good.
So true (Score:3, Insightful)
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me: uh, is this beer really supposed to be stringy?
homebrewer: you just don't know good beer.
me: i hope it's the good kind of bacteria
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Homebrewers laugh at Guinness, as like with most commercial beers, it tastes like water after you taste a well-bodied homebrew.
Friend of mine makes a homebrew that's 18% (or more!) and practically slices like bread. The sick bastard puts it in 24oz bottles! And to think that that pisswater Budweiser is the best selling beer in the US! People really have no sense of taste.
Guess what the #2 best-selling beer is in Ireland (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Guess what the #2 best-selling beer is in Irela (Score:5, Informative)
Budweiser
Yeah, Budweiser from Budweis (sometimes called Budvar), not watered horse piss from Anheuser-Busch.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
What's enjoyable to you is not enjoyable to everyone. Some people actually don't like heavy beer.
If it has to be like syrup for you to consider it as having any taste, maybe the problem is your tastebuds.
Re:So true (Score:5, Funny)
Shit! How could I have been so wrong all my life! Thanks for opening my eyes. Nary a drop of that evil black stuff will pass my lips ever again, it's homebrew from here on in.
One question, though, how long does it actually take before I'm a fully fledged member of the "Association Of Home Brewers and Other Tedious Arseholes That Sit At Home On Their Own Smugly Pontificating About How They Know Everything Society"?
Get over yourself.
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The problem is, most guys who drink Guinness (Score:3, Insightful)
Rice? (Score:5, Funny)
Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.
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OK, Bud isn't the best tasting beer, but it's always decent. I've had too many skunked bottles of "premium" beers to continue being snobbish about it.
FWIW, my favorite beer of all time is Pete's Wicked Ale. I'll put Guinness, Grolsch and a few others close behind.
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I don't like the taste of rice in beer. I don't like budweiser, and I don't really like Sapporo. I'd gladly drink a busch before a Bud. But I drink boulevard and leinenkugels most often.
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Re:Rice? (Score:5, Informative)
The brewer posted the recipe online some time ago (Free as in Beer Speech) so you can always make your own:
All Grain Recipe - Pliny the Elder ::: 1.074/1.012 (6 Gal)
Grain Bill
Hop Schedule
Yeast
Mash/Sparge/Boil
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Re:Rice? (Score:5, Insightful)
Good news: Cancer deaths down. Other news: Liver disease is up, researchers are looking for cause & cure.
Re:Rice? (Score:5, Funny)
Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.
It it's from Rice, that makes it Sake.
(duh!)
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Damn, you beat me to it. Your joke is somewhat accurate, though, as sake is brewed in a manner very similar to (good) beer.
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Pity the Australians visiting the US who think it tastes weak, so must be weak. They drink a couple of your enormous pitchers (twice the size of our jugs), and unexpectedly fall over drunk.
Spinal detachment (Score:5, Funny)
And they added that giving high doses to invertebrates extends their life spans
So if we remove our spines and drink a lot of this miracle beer, we can increase our lifespans? Tell me where to get this beer!
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Re:Spinal detachment (Score:4, Funny)
So it only works on Democrats?
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Alcohol, the cause of and solution to. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Baldness is not a disease! (Score:5, Funny)
Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.
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One I've always liked is:
"We were all born with the same amount of testosterone. If you want to waste yours growing hair, that's your business."
I liked it, but... (Score:4, Insightful)
In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.
So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?
Re:I liked it, but... (Score:5, Informative)
Because they're using yeast to produce resveratrol, beer seems a logical choice of beverage. Besides, I think they're targeting that vast group of Americans who think it's unpatriotic to drink water.
Bread? (Score:2)
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Why put it in bread when you can put it in beer?
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Heat breaks down reservatrol, so bread would probably not make a great choice. But there are resveratrol supplements on the market if you're looking for a non-alcoholic source.
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Re:I liked it, but... (Score:4, Funny)
that completely invalidates our excuse then:
"Honey, Would you put that beer down and go mow the lawn?!"
"Can't sweetie, it's time for my treatment!"
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That's why god put cupholders on riding lawnmowers.
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In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.
So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?
Dude, shut up! Seriously... Next you'll be on about how you can get the benefits of the glass of wine a day in a capsule without having to drink a glass of wine, or about how the health benefits from sex are the same for masturbation. You callous bastard, what are you trying to do, drive up the suicide rate?
Obligatory. (Score:2)
TMBG. [imeem.com]
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Interesting. I usually catch misattributed songs but that one slipped by me. I've also heard at least three other people attribute it to TMBG.
Good to know!
Chemotherapy (Score:2, Funny)
Wine (Score:3, Interesting)
It's already been shown that certain wines, in moderation, can help prevent certain cancers.
As usual, moderation in everything.
Re:Wine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wine (Score:5, Insightful)
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I'm confused. Do I mod you up or down?
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Did anyone else... (Score:5, Funny)
Cancer-fighting bear (Score:2)
A title now accurately applied to the Lebatt Blue bear!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llgGjoTL7TI&feature=related [youtube.com]
Don't diss the bears! (Score:4, Funny)
Do not underestimate the potential of nanobears with regards to their ability to fight diseases like cancer. I for one welcome our microscopic ursine overlords.
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Do not underestimate the potential of nanobears with regards to their ability to fight diseases like cancer. I for one welcome our microscopic ursine overlords.
intralords
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Now that's a scare bear.
Drink to fight cancer! ? (Score:5, Insightful)
I do think reservatol has huge potential though, I'm sure Ray Kurzweil is already taking it along with his 250 pills a day. I also agree with finding feasible ways to improve the nutrition of existing food products rather than changing the habits of millions of consumers (which requires delivering boot to ass of corporates over their marketing amongst other things).
Yet, why not investigate economic ways to put it in milk or processed grains? Hell why not bundle it along with xylitol and omega 3 in things we eat commonly? We could all but wipe out everything from tooth decay to heart disease, to dementia in one go.
Re:Drink to fight cancer! ? (Score:5, Insightful)
"While I get this is a good way to sneak beneficial nutrients into the diets of people who may otherwise have no interest nor motivation in seeking them,"
Except a bunch of ignorant fear mongers will scream about it killing us, even though there is years of data spreading over millions of drinkers.
see Fluoridated water.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
That's not likely.
Assume Joe "The Plumber" drinks 2 beers every night when he comes home. Assume this is not lo-alcohol beer but regular plain old lager. If Joe Plumber is an American, it's a weaker, more tasteless beer regardless. But let's put Joe Plumber in the UK, Ireland or call 'm "Jan Loodgieter" (NL), "Calle Rörmokaren" (SE/NO) or "Hans Installateur" (GER) or "Tomàs Zednik" (Czech R). Let's assume he drinks beers in the same way his dad and granddad before him. Good, strong beers, fine, ta
It's only resveratrol (Score:3, Interesting)
But resveratrol-producing yeast? (Score:3, Insightful)
Ah! Beer (Score:2)
Sounds like......... (Score:3, Interesting)
Cindy Lou Hensley McCain is branching out her empire into the realm of pharamaceuticals.
pish posh (Score:5, Insightful)
The "French paradox" isn't one. The French are healthier because 1) they exercise; and 2) they only eat their famous meals on occasion. Generally, they eat "peasant food"; potatoes, bread, stews, &c. But of course that would be too difficult; no, it must be the wine. Drink, drink, drink! It's good for you!
Here's a hint: the French drink wine because they enjoy it. When I drink beer, it's because I enjoy it. I probably won't enjoy this genetically-engineered "good for you" beer as much, so the whole idea is a non-starter. I could always just eat a pomegranate, and then drink a good beer. And for those who don't like pomegranates, we can just synthesize this "resveratol" and put it in multivitamins right?
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and it's social medicine... just saying...
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Or you could put a shot of grenadine in your beer.
Of all the ways to get a chemical into something; "I know, lets genetically modify this organism used in the process".
From someone who has actually lived there (Score:3, Interesting)
1) Betting you've never lived in France
2) 13% of MacDonalds' revenue comes from France, its the biggest market outside of the US
3) The french traditional foods are high fat (lots of cream) not potatoes and stews, that is Germany and its ilk
4) They drink wine like people in the US drink Coke, its just what you do and its perfectly normal
5) They smoke
Seriously if you are going to have a go at the French Paradox then get some sort of perspective on what they eat. Its loads of "McDo" and then rich meals with D
Clinical Trials (Score:5, Funny)
Where do we apply for clinical trials?!
Aikon-
The future (Score:4, Insightful)
I for one welcome this new synthesis between vice and medicine. What about strippers who can cure STDs and gambling to cure dyslexia?
What about AIDS-fighting condoms?... (Score:2, Funny)
cigarettes (Score:2)
Wouldn't cigarettes that cured cirrhosis be more apt?
Bears? (Score:2, Redundant)
Let's make a penny go to more research (Score:3, Insightful)
...from the sale of each beer. Doesn't necessarily have to go towards cancer research; it could defray the cost of printing the new labels. We'd still buy 'em, drink 'em...in the name of research, get it?
"Helping to find the cure, honey."
It's for the rest of us armchair jocks that can't run for a cause, unless it involved dashing to the fridge for the next one.
Slashdot Community Effort (Score:4, Insightful)
Beer... (Score:3, Funny)
...is there nothing it can't do?
Resveratrol is not produced during fermentation (Score:4, Insightful)
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and typing lessons? :P
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You know, if you really think about it, maybe we don't want Joe Six Pack to be cured of cancer. Thinning out the herd can be good.
Is it ok if we start with the people you love?