Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test

Slashdot is powered by your submissions, so send in your scoop

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test 271

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:11PM from the well-when-the-rewards-are-bananas dept.

AP's Malcolm Ritter reports that young chimpanzees were better at remembering a series of numbers flashed on a screen, than the Japanese college students used as a control group. Scientists plan to repeat the experiment using 5th graders against the great apes.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test

Search 271 Comments Log In/Create an Account

Comments Filter:

BAC! (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:11PM (#21562073)

I demand blood alcohol content tests!

At least make the chimps do banana flavored shots the night before ...

Share
twitter facebook
Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

by Harmonious Botch ( 921977 ) * writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:13PM (#21562089) Homepage Journal

I, for one, welcome our new... umm... er, ah what were they again?

Share
twitter facebook
I Wonder (Score:4, Funny)

by sirgoran ( 221190 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:14PM (#21562105) Homepage Journal

Was the test given before or after the students had a kegger?
It might explain the chimps score.

Share
twitter facebook
Wrong training ... (Score:2, Funny)

by foobsr ( 693224 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:15PM (#21562119) Homepage Journal

From TFA:"Even with six months of training, three students failed to catch up to the three young chimps, Matsuzawa said in an e-mail."

Wondering what/how they trained, I'd bet that (some inner) martial arts training would have helped to improve, say, 'speed of holistic perception'.

CC.

Share
twitter facebook
Re:Should I have a million apes in my basement (Score:5, Funny)

by $RANDOMLUSER ( 804576 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:16PM (#21562135)

Why would you want to memorize Asians?

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

by morgan_greywolf ( 835522 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:19PM (#21562167) Homepage Journal

Microsoft network security engineers?

Parent Share
twitter facebook
In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

by eviloverlordx ( 99809 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:20PM (#21562179)

A large group of chimpanzees has produced the collected works of Shakespeare four times faster than the same number of college students, and with fewer spelling errors.

Share
twitter facebook
Yes, but... (Score:5, Funny)

by lazlo ( 15906 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:22PM (#21562207) Homepage

The chimps scored better than the college students on memory tests, but their term papers were only marginally better.

Share
twitter facebook
The real question is. (Score:5, Funny)

by CrazyJim1 ( 809850 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:29PM (#21562319) Journal

Did the monkeys have a hat on?

Share
twitter facebook
Re:BAC! (Score:3, Funny)

by morgan_greywolf ( 835522 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:29PM (#21562321) Homepage Journal

At least make the chimps do banana flavored shots the night before ...
The scary part is -- that they did.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Well no shit... (Score:5, Funny)

by R2.0 ( 532027 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:32PM (#21562349)

I am positive that, after 6 years (2 degrees) of drinking and sleep deprivation, I am significantly dumber than I was going in to school.

Share
twitter facebook
Re:Reinforcement (Score:5, Funny)

by techpawn ( 969834 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:36PM (#21562399) Journal

Thanks for that insight Coco! Now get back in your cage and stop using my Wi-Fi!

Parent Share
twitter facebook
5th Graders (Score:5, Funny)

by mqduck ( 232646 ) writes: <mqduck@mqduc k . net> on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:40PM (#21562447)

Scientists plan to repeat the experiment using 5th graders against the great apes.
I'm having difficulty understanding the reasoning of going from college students to 5th graders. I suppose I could RTFM, but instead I'm going to criticize from the safety of Slashdot.

Share
twitter facebook
Re:Misleading... (Score:5, Funny)

by SpaceLifeForm ( 228190 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:40PM (#21562453)

All it shows is that homo sapiens is easily distracted.
After approximately .3 seconds, the homo sapiens mind
can not suppress thoughts of sex.

It's all part of the intelligent design.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:I Wonder (Score:5, Funny)

by polar red ( 215081 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:41PM (#21562477)

Numerous passwords
I'm up to 12 codes and passwords, every year more ... I'll have to adopt a chimpansee to help me.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Flawed experimental design (Score:5, Funny)

by Billosaur ( 927319 ) * writes: <wgrother@nosPam.optonline.net> on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:44PM (#21562523) Journal

To be accurate, they should have used chimpanzees who were attending college.

Share
twitter facebook
Re:If only... (Score:4, Funny)

by vux984 ( 928602 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @02:55PM (#21562661)

If Tim Burton had know this a few years ago, maybe his crappy remake would have been better.

I think the real argument is that the remake would have been better if we'd let the chimps make the film instead of Tim Burton.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:BAC! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:07PM (#21562789)

well, you know, anything to disprove religion.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Yes, but... (Score:2, Funny)

by sentientbeing ( 688713 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:13PM (#21562863)

We already know robots have a better than average memory - We should try Pirates next, then if theres time and we can find some - study the abilities of Ninjas.

We could then have all the winners of each team compete in a sort of game or something.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

by diodia_teres ( 1177869 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:24PM (#21563015)

So I guess in college when all those girls claimed that they forgot my number, they were telling the truth.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:BAC! (Score:5, Funny)

by Squiffy ( 242681 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:28PM (#21563047) Homepage

Considering some of the undergrads I've known, I'm surprised they were able to get them all to sit still long enough to administer the test. It must have been like herding cats.

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

by davidsyes ( 765062 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:35PM (#21563135) Homepage Journal

For a sec I read "Chimps OUTSOURCE College Students on Memory Test"....

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Damn dirty apes taking IT jobs!!! (Score:3, Funny)

by mlwmohawk ( 801821 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:49PM (#21563329)

Think about it, most IT work these days isn't critical thinking and analytical work, but merely the memorization of the latest trends and APIs, and re-writing the same old crap in a new job using a different set of tools. So, monkeys are going to have a leg up. They aren't very much more ill behaved than web designers, don't smell as bad, dress about the same, and they have similar toiletry habits.

I wonder if they will be any more manageable?

Share
twitter facebook
Re:I Wonder (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:49PM (#21563341)

While you're at it, adopt a second one as a spell checker :)

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

by uncoveror ( 570620 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @03:55PM (#21563421) Homepage

It was the best of times
It was the BLURST of times?
You stupid ape!

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Misleading... (Score:5, Funny)

by Quiet_Desperation ( 858215 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @04:08PM (#21563589)

Why is this post modded (at time of my reply) off-topic.

Because you've been modded by college students instead of chimps?

Parent Share
twitter facebook
The Number Series (Score:3, Funny)

by AnalogDiehard ( 199128 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @05:05PM (#21564201)

To the dismay of Hollywood, these were the series of numbers that the chimps successfully repeated:
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

by morgan_greywolf ( 835522 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @05:24PM (#21564443) Homepage Journal

No, no, no...

You got it all wrong. The joke goes:

In Soviet Russia, noun verbs YOU!

So, in this case, we'd have:

In Soviet Russia, chimps outscore YOU!!!

Or, perhaps, even worse:

In Soviet Russa, college students outscore YOU!!!

In our next Slashdot Memes 101 lesson, we'll cover Beowulf Clusters:

Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of chimps?

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

by daevux ( 626542 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @05:34PM (#21564569)

maybe ... but the chimp-ugly ones were lying; they remembered your number, but were out of your league. :-)

Parent Share
twitter facebook
Re:Obligatory... (Score:4, Funny)

by ArsonSmith ( 13997 ) writes: on Monday December 03, 2007 @07:58PM (#21566123) Journal

do they have Typewriters? Would a chimp be a monkey upgrade? Big Iron Shakespeare?

Parent Share
twitter facebook

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test 271

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test More Login

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test

BAC! (Score:5, Funny)

Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

I Wonder (Score:4, Funny)

Wrong training ... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Should I have a million apes in my basement (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

Yes, but... (Score:5, Funny)

The real question is. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:BAC! (Score:3, Funny)

Well no shit... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Reinforcement (Score:5, Funny)

5th Graders (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Misleading... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I Wonder (Score:5, Funny)

Flawed experimental design (Score:5, Funny)

Re:If only... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:BAC! (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Yes, but... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:BAC! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

Damn dirty apes taking IT jobs!!! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I Wonder (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Misleading... (Score:5, Funny)

The Number Series (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Obligatory... (Score:4, Funny)

Related Links Top of the: day, week, month.

Slashdot Top Deals

Slashdot