Apollo Bacteria Destroying the Moon 93

Posted by Zonk on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:44PM from the war-of-the-worlds dept.

Rob Carr writes "According to the online version of the journal Nature, the moon is being rapidly destroyed by bacteria left behind during the Apollo missions. According to the article: 'There really is less Moon up there than there used to be. If the process continues, he adds, the Moon could eventually crumble away to nothing. Researchers are not yet certain what is causing the erosion. Kawalkowizc suggests that bacteria left behind by the Apollo Moon landings of the 1960s and 1970s may be responsible.' Satellite images show cracks in the moon - the image in the article shows the amazing amount of devastation. The Moon is slowly outgassing and will be destroyed in our lifetime. Speculation is that the ultraviolet radiation mutated the bacteria into it's present ravenous and destructive form. The article does not deal with several important topics. Will a ring system form around Earth? Will this bacteria destroy satellites and quarantine humanity to Earth? Can this bacteria survive entry into Earth's atmosphere, dooming our planet as well?"

Apollo Bacteria Destroying the Moon

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Hey! (Score:2, Funny)

by Tribbin ( 565963 ) writes:

"Wasn't it full-moon just a minute ago?!!"

"Yeah why?"
- Re:You Forgot THIS Important Question (Score:1)
  
  by Tribbin ( 565963 ) writes:
  
  I guess some spam-worm just spread to humans:
  
  http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/04/01/142 5219&tid=220&tid=218&tid=14 [slashdot.org]
This is making me... (Score:1)

by cartzworth ( 709639 ) writes:

...frown.

Enough.
For the love of $DIETY (Score:5, Insightful)

by kin_korn_karn ( 466864 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:46PM (#12115955) Homepage

Please stop. This isn't funny anymore.

- Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:3, Insightful)
  
  by GeorgeMcBay ( 106610 ) writes:
  
  Is this your first April Fool's day on Slashdot?
  
  This happens every year. At least every year I've logged into Slashdot on this day.
  
  Since it is, after all, a link site, the fact that there are so many "jokes" on this day makes sense. But, of course, the abundance of them just ruins them all. So if you must Slashdot on April 1st, just spend the day trolling or something....
  - Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)
    
    by kin_korn_karn ( 466864 ) writes:
    
    It's not my first, but this year's April Fools Day seemed worse than in years past. They'd get a lot more laughs if they'd mix the BS stories in with real ones.
- Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)
  
  by LurkerXXX ( 667952 ) writes:
  
  If they only put this much energy into checking for dupes on normal days...
- Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:1)
  
  by corblix ( 856231 ) writes:
  
  For the love of $DEITY, who is "$DIETY"??? The great god of weight loss?
  - Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)
    
    by kin_korn_karn ( 466864 ) writes:
    
    see? that April Fool's Day shit rots the brain!
This just in (Score:4, Funny)

by jam244 ( 701505 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:46PM (#12115957) Homepage

Thirty-seven IT employees from various US tech companies threw themselves off bridges today. Preliminary police reports indicate all users visited /. on April 1 immediately before taking their lives. More to follow...

Please stop (Score:2, Insightful)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

Please stop. You're hurting us now.
Hmm (Score:1)

by bryan8m ( 863211 ) writes:

Anaerobic bacteria? What'll they think of next!
- Re:Hmm (Score:1)
  
  by Rocko Bonaparte ( 562051 ) writes:
  
  It probably came from my face. All that acne creme isn't doing squat.
Hah! (Score:2)

by aftk2 ( 556992 ) writes:

Hah hah! April Fool's.

*cough*. Wait! *wheeze* Oh shit! *Keels over.*
I was thinking of not posting... (Score:5, Insightful)

by nsasch ( 827844 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:46PM (#12115964)

but I realized, why not? Would anybody waste mod-points today for making a completely useless comment?

Buh bye (Score:1)

by PMJ2kx ( 828679 ) writes:

I blame the man in the moon!
Cracks for sure (Score:2)

by ari_j ( 90255 ) writes:

Satellite images show cracks in the moon

Yeah, but it doesn't take a satellite to find the cracks in this story! ;)

Or, in the alternative: Everyone involved with this story is high on crack!

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week. No, you're really too kind. No, you shouldn't...well, okay, it's room 909, knock three times so I know it's you.
Well duh... (Score:4, Funny)

by Transcendent ( 204992 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:47PM (#12115979)

...the moon is made of cheese, after all.

- Re:Well duh... (Score:1)
  
  by benjamin264 ( 813527 ) writes:
  
  But the article said, 'the Moon is your enemy.' But cheese is my friend... I am so confused...
- Re:Well duh... (Score:2)
  
  by David Gould ( 4938 ) writes:
  
  I was disappointed the article missed the cheese connection -- I thought they'd work in something about how the bacteria were actually turning the moon into cheese, making the old saying true after all.
  
  Anyway, my favorite part was the 2001 reference -- a few years late, but it still works.
Obligatory Dave Barry quote (Score:4, Funny)

by lildogie ( 54998 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:48PM (#12115987)

"Along time ago, people said that the moon was made of green cheese.

"Now we know that it's really just a big rock.

"That's what happens when you leave cheese out overnight."

It's not just one day, you know? (Score:2)

by roman_mir ( 125474 ) writes:

Imagine all of the fools who will read this and will later be passing on this nonesense and the rumors. Well, not really different from the rest of the 'information' people believe in.
Magic (Score:2, Insightful)

by pete-classic ( 75983 ) writes:

Magic bacteria that aren't bound by conservation of mass.

Neat.

Am I the only one that thinks that the point of April Fools is to try to catch someone off guard? By the time you post 37 bullshit stories all you are doing is being annoying. This new thing with posting think geek stuff over and over is particularly annoying.

On the other hand, I've been here long enough to realize that I'm not going to influence the editors.

-Peter
- Re:Magic (Score:1)
  
  by teetuck ( 872734 ) writes:
  
  The moon is covered with 1 foot of dust. Under that is a geologically inactive planetoid. By consuming matter in any form, these bacteria would release some material byproducts. Sorry, but it wouldn't release gas. Now if the rock is consumed as so claimed, the moon would become entirely aerated and actually increase it's size significanly. But would no longer contain "rock" only dust.
- Re:Magic (Score:1)
  
  by PoJo01 ( 872751 ) writes:
  
  Maybe the bacteria converts mass into energy....i wont quote the formula, its probably written on a poster on your wall....
Oh come on (Score:1)

by e-wood ( 739506 ) writes:

April fools articles appearing twice a minute... if you ever wanted to get a 'first post', now's the time! Just keep reloading slashdot
In other news (Score:1)

by holysin ( 549880 ) writes:

the submitters and mods of slashdot really need to get laid, and understand that 1 time is funny, 2 might be amusing but 1e+10 is just painful.
Earth is immune (Score:1)

by Kevon ( 177103 ) writes:

We don't have to worry about Earth since the bacteria came from here in the first place. Our planet has built up enough antibodies and resistances in the cores and mantle to fight off any such infection.
- Re:Earth is immune (Score:2)
  
  by grozzie2 ( 698656 ) writes:
  
  Give it a couple of years, environmentalists will do a study and prove conclusively that the immunities have been killed by hunters/pollution/global warming/loggers/suv's/airplanes/noise, take your pick.
Please. No more. Please. (Score:1)

by eibon ( 825176 ) writes:

For the love of everything that is holy, please stop. Now. I know girls who can come up with funnier stuff than this.
What of the fate of The Mooninites? (Score:2)

by infonography ( 566403 ) writes:

Are Ignignokt and Err really responsible? Has anyone questioned them? Have they threatened to attack us (again)?
12:00 (Score:2)

by halo8 ( 445515 ) writes:

Dosent April 1st end at Noon?
Thundarr!!! (Score:2)

by Shadow Wrought ( 586631 ) writes:

Anyone else get the Thundarr the Barbarian image of the cracked moon? Although that was caused by a runaway planet as opposed to runaway bacteria...
enough with the stupid april 1st shit (Score:2)

by timmarhy ( 659436 ) writes:

there's already more the a page of it.
PMS .... (Score:2, Funny)

by My_guzzi ( 306998 ) writes:

If we get lucky, there would be no more tides, and the whole monthly lunar cycle would go away... maybe this would cure PMS ....??
Netcraft confirms it. (Score:1)

by Cska Sofia ( 705257 ) writes:

The Moon is dying.
Good (Score:1)

by eibon ( 825176 ) writes:

Can this bacteria survive entry into Earth's atmosphere, dooming our planet as well?

Let's hope it happens before March 31st 2006 ends.
No, It's Wallace and Gromit's fault (Score:3, Funny)

by G4from128k ( 686170 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:51PM (#12116043)

When Wallace and Gromit had their Grand Day Out [imdb.com] they inadvertently took a few stowaway mice with them (it was Wallace's basement, after all). Every since 1991, the mice have been consuming the cheese at an exponentially growing rate.

O! The agony! (Score:2)

by The-Bus ( 138060 ) writes:

I think I have it figured out. Today, Slashdot is out-trolling the trolls! Not even an elite Swiss army of super mountain trolls with +4 Bonnets of Fortitude could swallow the mightly load of trite "jokes" that this site is spewing out of the wretched head of its empty shell of a carcass. I mean, by Great Blackbeard's Ghost, in the time it takes to type this message there's going to be another ballast of well edited idiociy headed our way. Maybe tomorrow will be A Serious Day(tm) and the true geeks will be
Message from CmdrTaco (Score:2)

by hankaholic ( 32239 ) writes:

Update For for the flood of far-fetched stories. Not going well. Appreciate all the hate mail. Really encourages improvement.
There goes the resale value. (Score:1)

by RubberDuckie ( 53329 ) writes:

I thought that Chairface and Omnipotus had already done a pretty good number on the moon. There goes the neighborhood.
i want a ring! (Score:1)

by c0ld Aussie ( 867511 ) writes:

i want a ring around earth, dont you think it would look cool? well compared to a boring moon anyway. hey i wonder where the US flags would end up lol.
Like slashdot (Score:3, Funny)

by Keebler71 ( 520908 ) writes: on Friday April 01, 2005 @05:58PM (#12116136) Journal

I wonder if this is the same plague that is eroding the quality of slashdot posts...

Man Never Walked on the Moon! (Score:1)

by zaphodb001 ( 527707 ) writes:

Is this another government conspiracy?
Sheesh, where to start... (Score:2)

by Cheesewhiz ( 61745 ) writes:

"The article does not deal with several important topics. Will a ring system form around Earth? Will this bacteria destroy satellites and quarantine humanity to Earth? Can this bacteria survive entry into Earth's atmosphere, dooming our planet as well?!
Sheesh dude, where do I even start on this commentary? This sounds like a freakin' scary article (like "destruction-of-all-human-life-on-earth" kind of scary) and the poster apparently thinks it's a cool teaser for a new Sci-Fi Network drama series.
"W
There go the property values... (Score:1)

by WaterDamage ( 719017 ) writes:

FIRE SALE!!!! Quick, buy 100 acres of the moon before it's too late! Only $19.95. Mail cash to:

Dick and Bush
P.O. Box 666
Pueblo Colorado, CO 90210
Ah, the bacteria must have gotten there... (Score:1)

by SnappingTurtle ( 688331 ) writes:

... on the cockroach [davidgeorgegordon.com]. OK, ok, maybe it was fake [whizzospace.com], but I bet it had read bacteria in it.
Holly macro! The moon is on crack! (Score:1)

by tyrr ( 306852 ) writes:

Happy fools day!
a few things we can count on (Score:1)

by jiggzb ( 872736 ) writes:

in order to spear head this bacteria we should narrow down all knowns. -it will spread through africa killing many millions -fat people will want it added to ranch sauce -smoking pot while protesting is the most proven method to stopping this catastrophe -its george bushs fault -hillary clinton tried to stop him by praying nondenominationally -kenny is probably on the moon
burning and itching (Score:1)

by jiggzb ( 872736 ) writes:

can this moon bacteria cause blood in my pee? also they should call if the fire virus because thats how it feels
More worried about the virus released (Score:1)

by WillAffleck ( 42386 ) writes:

Just think, one of the astronauts had a cold at one point.

Before the moon will be destroyed from the bacteria, the virii will destroy it.

Now where will extragalactic species hide when they're observing us?
moon bunnies (Score:1)

by jiggzb ( 872736 ) writes:

my history teacher explained this to me after her pot break. the native moon people were a perfect culture filled with little bunnies and free exchange of ideas. until one day the big bad astronaut came and raped the woman and pillaged there moon fields. anyway the moon woman were infected with this and did not get counciling. so the moon thing. is our the us fault. just ask iran
Expiration Date (Score:1)

by mrcrowbar ( 821370 ) writes:

Maybe the Moon's expiration date was finally reached. All that cheese has got to go bad someday.
Sprodj Atomic Research Centre (Score:2)

by Jeremy Erwin ( 2054 ) writes:

This is serious," says Brad Kawalkowizc, an astrogeologist from the Sprodj Atomic Research Centre in Belgium, who has analysed the pictures. "There really is less Moon up there than there used to be." If the process continues, he adds, the Moon could eventually crumble away to nothing.

I am afraid that Nature has gotten it wrong. Sprodj is located in Syldavia, not Belgium.
CABUM is happy (Score:2)

by Dirtside ( 91468 ) writes:

Well, these guys [wccnet.org] must sure be happy.
In other news... commercial probe landed on moon! (Score:2)

by ikluft ( 1284 ) writes:

See the announcement at TubeRat Aerospace [tuberat.com]. They have a video of mission control during the landing. And there's a new space prize for the first team who lands a probe at the same place and transmits back data from a crypto token on it.
cheese (Score:1)

by einstein314emc2 ( 872800 ) writes:

The moon is made of cheese, and that's why the bacteria are eating it. Its half gone already. blue cheese = blue moon
Obligatory They Might Be Giants Reference (Score:1)

by dinojemr ( 261460 ) writes:

All Alone:
Once upon a time they sent a rocket to the moon
With scientific instruments to test conditions there
But just before they closed the door, one scientist expelled a germ
That accidentally found its way aboard and stowed away
For three years it remained undetected on the moon
It was the only living creature there:
"I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Behold the mystery that is me"

Then one day the scientists recovered all their gear
Excited by the prospect of unearthly things inside
They found, to their astonishment,
No comments? (Score:2)

by JabberWokky ( 19442 ) writes:

I thought this was a pretty amusing satire on the global warming scare (which is distinct from global warming as a scientific issue). I'm surprised there have been no comments about that aspect.
--
Evan
Who needs a Ferby.... (Score:1)

by BrainSurgeon ( 875819 ) writes:

...when you got mutated bacteria as a pet?

"I told you to fetch the stick not eat the neighbor! Bad mutated E. coli! In your cage!"

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Hey! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:You Forgot THIS Important Question (Score:1)

This is making me... (Score:1)

For the love of $DIETY (Score:5, Insightful)

Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:3, Insightful)

Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)

Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)

Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:1)

Re:For the love of $DIETY (Score:2)

This just in (Score:4, Funny)

Please stop (Score:2, Insightful)

Hmm (Score:1)

Re:Hmm (Score:1)

Hah! (Score:2)

I was thinking of not posting... (Score:5, Insightful)

Buh bye (Score:1)

Cracks for sure (Score:2)

Well duh... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Well duh... (Score:1)

Re:Well duh... (Score:2)

Obligatory Dave Barry quote (Score:4, Funny)

It's not just one day, you know? (Score:2)

Magic (Score:2, Insightful)

Re:Magic (Score:1)

Re:Magic (Score:1)

Oh come on (Score:1)

In other news (Score:1)

Earth is immune (Score:1)

Re:Earth is immune (Score:2)

Please. No more. Please. (Score:1)

What of the fate of The Mooninites? (Score:2)

12:00 (Score:2)

Thundarr!!! (Score:2)

enough with the stupid april 1st shit (Score:2)

PMS .... (Score:2, Funny)

Netcraft confirms it. (Score:1)

Good (Score:1)

No, It's Wallace and Gromit's fault (Score:3, Funny)

O! The agony! (Score:2)

Message from CmdrTaco (Score:2)

There goes the resale value. (Score:1)

i want a ring! (Score:1)

Like slashdot (Score:3, Funny)

Man Never Walked on the Moon! (Score:1)

Sheesh, where to start... (Score:2)

There go the property values... (Score:1)

Ah, the bacteria must have gotten there... (Score:1)

Holly macro! The moon is on crack! (Score:1)

a few things we can count on (Score:1)

burning and itching (Score:1)

More worried about the virus released (Score:1)

moon bunnies (Score:1)

Expiration Date (Score:1)

Sprodj Atomic Research Centre (Score:2)

CABUM is happy (Score:2)

In other news... commercial probe landed on moon! (Score:2)

cheese (Score:1)

Obligatory They Might Be Giants Reference (Score:1)

No comments? (Score:2)

Who needs a Ferby.... (Score:1)

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