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Biotech Science

Sperm Sorting Chip 55

Posted by timothy from the where-are-the-eggs dept.
Makarand writes "Microscopically narrow fluid streams running side by side barely mix - a phenomenon put to use in a new stamp size silicon chip for purifying sperm. This technique could find use in infertility clinics where centrifugal technqiues, which can damage fragile sperm, are currently used to purify sperm. Semen and salt water are dripped into etched lanes less than half a millimeter wide from opposite ends of the chip. When the lanes merge, the healthy and wriggly sperm swim into the salt water stream and leave the dead and the disabled sperm behind."
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Sperm Sorting Chip More

Sperm Sorting Chip

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  • Special request (Score:4, Funny)

    by Kelerain ( 577551 ) <avc_mapmaster@@@hotmail...com> on Sunday May 25, 2003 @05:39PM (#6037135)
    I would like to request at this point, for the good of the community, that no one post any jokes on this thread.
  • better a sperm dipping chip.
  • When used in this context, isn't it really a cracker?
  • So I guess this chip has its own liquid cooling system.

  • Okay well.. (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Smidge204 ( 605297 )
    Not to troll here, but let's think about this.

    It really doesn't matter what value you place on human life, nor if you are a believer in "God's Grand Design" or a steadfast evolutionist or anything in between... Nature is nature.

    If you can't have children because you are naturally unable to, then maybe you're not supposed to have kids at all.

    There are lots of babies born that aren't wanted by their parents. If you want a kid and are unable to have one "the natural way", why not consider adoption?
    =Smidge=

    • Re:Okay well.. (Score:3, Insightful)

      by justinburt ( 262452 )
      Or if you are dying from cancer because you inherited a genetic defect predisposing you to it - don't try to save yourself. If you're "naturally" unable to destroy the tumor, maybe you're not supposed to live at all!

      I don't mean to troll either. We should consider the issues, and your point about adoption is well-taken.

      But your comment is a disturbing muddle. You say that "nature is nature" - what do you mean by this? You seem to imply, particularly with your use of "supposed to," that there is some e
      • There isn't anything "natural" about cars or corrective lenses, or supermarkets or even a reliable supply of food.

        I've thought about this myself, about the corrective lenses part. In the year 2560, when machines take over the Earth, and we don't have access to contact lenses and glasses, then what? All the people that were "supposed" to be "filtered out" have passed on their bad-vision genetic code, and everyone in the world has bad eyesight. Now everyone's bumping into each other, unable to find food

        • In that case when technolgy goes away I guess I'm fucked. Oh well, better start stocking up on spare contacts or glasses now.
      • You seem to have missed the point. I share the same view as the original poster and it has nothing to do with letting yourself die of cancer. Rather you do have a severe genetic predisposition towards cancer. Should you have children knowing that they will most likely die a horrible death from cancer?

        I know a man who has diabetes and he has said that he will not have anymore children because he feels that it's irresponsible to pass on this defect to his children. That being said he got diabetes from no
    • U R A NATURALISTIC FALLACY SUX0R UR BRANE IS 0WN3D BY DAVID HUME

      • Re:Okay well.. (Score:3, Funny)

        by Copid ( 137416 )
        U R A NATURALISTIC FALLACY SUX0R UR BRANE IS 0WN3D BY DAVID HUME

        I'm sorry, but it's too bad about the moderation on this one. Something about a reference to being "0WN3D" by an 18th century philosopher is just classic. My kingdom for some mod points.

        "PH33R MY L337 PRINCIPLE OF UTILITY!"

        --John Stuart Mill

    • Re:Okay well.. (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Quill_28 ( 553921 )
      Because you will adopt a kid and then the father who could card less gets talked into filing for custody(by his mother), when the child is 2 years old. You lose the court case and the child is taken away from you.

      There are big problems with adoption policies in the us. Why do you so many people look overseas to adopt?

    • Re:Okay well.. (Score:5, Insightful)

      by qqtortqq ( 521284 ) <mark@doodem a n .org> on Sunday May 25, 2003 @08:55PM (#6038129)
      You are naturally unable to fly, does that mean one should never take an airplane anywhere?

      Adoption is a good thing, I was adopted myself, but thats a personal decision, adoption isn't for everyone. My dad had an accident, and his brain swelled, crushing a part of his brain responsible for regulating hormones, therefore rendering him unable to father children- does that mean he shouldn't have kids? You say that if nature doesn't want you to have kids, you should adopt a kid? Makes no sense...

    • Re:Okay well.. (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Scrameustache ( 459504 ) on Monday May 26, 2003 @10:44AM (#6040499) Homepage Journal
      It really doesn't matter what value you place on human life, nor if you are a believer in "God's Grand Design" or a steadfast evolutionist or anything in between... Nature is nature.
      If you can't have children because you are naturally unable to, then maybe you're not supposed to have kids at all.

      There you go, the fatal flaw in this reasonning is when you used the word "supposed". As if there was an intention behind someone's low sperm count, as if a concious choice was made at some point by an intellectual entity with power over your sperm count.

      This is not how natural selection works. Natural selection works thusly: If you have descendents, you suceeded. And the word "natural" doesn't mean "if you have children that you would also have had had you been stranded without any technology on a remote desert island".

      Using a device to filter out your lil' swimmers is no different, in the grand scheme of things, from using a spear to kill an antilope. Its using your naturally selected brain to come up with a plan to make sure you live another day and have kids that'll do the same, day after day.

      Remeber, its not how you reproduce, its if you reproduce.

      If you want a kid and are unable to have one "the natural way", why not consider adoption?

      Selfishness. They don't want "a" kid, they want "their" kid. They want a version 2.0 of themselves.

  • yea but... (Score:2, Funny)

    by schnits0r ( 633893 )
    does it run on linux?

  • Centrifugal techniques (Score:5, Funny)

    by Pall Agamemnides ( 673074 ) on Sunday May 25, 2003 @08:26PM (#6038005)
    This technique could find use in infertility clinics where centrifugal technqiues, which can damage fragile sperm...

    If centrifugal techniques can damage sperm cells, just imagine what a centrifuge will do to the rest of the guy undergoing the treatment! You'll never get me into one of those deathtraps!

  • Sperm Sort? (Score:5, Funny)

    by one9nine ( 526521 ) on Sunday May 25, 2003 @08:31PM (#6038041) Journal
    How does it perform against Mergesort or Quicksort?

  • Wondering... (Score:5, Funny)

    by JDWTopGuy ( 209256 ) on Sunday May 25, 2003 @09:00PM (#6038149) Homepage Journal
    Would it be fair to say that this is "seminal research"?
    • This reminds me of the Dr Demonto's song:


      Upstream, Going against the gulf stream


      Aagh, Can't remember the rest but now my image for the song is ruined by pictures of little tiny magnified sperm swimming up the gulf stream.


      Gah! I wish it would stop.... Must watch something mindless to get it out of my head.

    • ... 2 foes already ...
      Make it 3, for a pun as old as that one....

  • So if this sorts sperm (Score:4, Funny)

    by infonography ( 566403 ) on Sunday May 25, 2003 @11:01PM (#6038629) Homepage
    Would it not be better to use a maze that they would have to traverse. Might be able to breed a better human if the sperm had to find it's way to the egg. Maybe with little ghosts that flash colors when you find a powerup.

  • From the FAQ (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Superefficient sperm chip processing
    The sperm chip processor has been designed for unparalleled efficiency and performance. It can accomplish more tasks than Pentium processors in the same amount of time because of its short pipeline and the vector processing strengths of the Sperm Engine.

    Short sperm pipeline
    All processors complete their tasks in a series of steps or stages, referred to as the processor pipeline. These steps include fetching, decoding and storing sperm and executing instructions. An
  • When the lanes merge, the healthy and wriggly sperm swim into the salt water stream and leave the dead and the disabled sperm behind.

    Yabbut what happens if you get one hat-wearing sperm that gets onto the ramp early and blocks all the others, left-turn signal blinking all the while?

    I wonder if the scientists have noticed Homer sperm behavior under the microscope.
  • What would be cool is if this could be implanted inside the infertile man... then there would be no need for invertility clinics, just a relatively simple operation (unless it could be injected, in which case not even that would be needed).

    I also wonder if the chip could be reversed... i.e, stops "able" sperm in it's tracks. This could be an interesting contraception method (and could be inserted in either a man or a woman, presumably)
  • AMD:

    Sorts sperm fast and cheap. Has tendency to overheat and make little sperm omelets.

    Intel:

    Overpriced for the performance, but every American trusts Intel to sort their sperm. Only sorts one at a time, but does it really frequently; i believe the term is "HyperJizzing"

    Amiga:

    Sorts them slowly, the most incompatible, but goddamn if it doesn't do it with style.

    Atari:

    Ancient sperm-sorting technology. People use this when they want to relive the 80's while they sort their sperm.

    Apple:

    Only sorts gay sperm.

  • Bah (Score:2)

    by grub ( 11606 )

    My ex-wife could have sorted them..

    "ptooey.. that one's bitter.. hack.. that one's defective.. Mmmmmmmm... salty..."
  • you misread that headline as "SPAM-sorting chip".

    Memo to self: get outside more often.

  • When the lanes merge, the healthy and wriggly sperm swim into the salt water stream and leave the dead and the disabled sperm behind.

    Does road rage occur at the cellular level?
  • I seriously thought it said "Sperm sorting chimp".

    Is there anything they can't train those monkeys to do?

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