Cremation? Burial? How about Diamonds? 401
travisbecker writes "From Reuters via Yahoo! comes this story. "A Chicago company (Lifegem) says it has developed a process for turning cremated human remains into diamonds that can be worn as jewelry." As for the quality... "If it's done slowly and with a great deal of care, one could have a reasonably high-quality diamond," according to a quote in the story." This should not be confused with our earlier diamond discussion.
Now I know (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Now I know (Score:4, Funny)
Used to think it was cute. Kinda creepy, now.
The question is ... (Score:2)
Re:The question is ... (Score:5, Funny)
thats the problem with todays youth, nobody thinks about the super villian.
It ain't the supervillains that worry me! (Score:4, Insightful)
Actually, it was chrisd's final statement that spoked me:
This should not be confused with our earlier diamond discussion.
You remember, don't you? The one that went like so:
Would you buy one for the love of your life? I know my girlfriend would love a diamond, but ethically I have my doubts. Diseased-miners, child slave labour, cartel inflated prices...
I guess we have to add murders and grave robbing to that list now! Those evil diamond traders will do anything to get more raw materials for their diabolical schemes!
GMD
Re:The question is ... (Score:3, Funny)
I would perfer using them as a focus for my laser death beamy thing (which, always seem to, for whatever reason, require a huge diamond of some kind).
Though with the carat requirements of most laser death thingies, I would likely need to get multiple arch enemies compressed into one uber diamond of death and destruction. . . .
Re:The question is ... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The question is ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The question is ... (Score:5, Funny)
It's not all that strange, it's just a matter of perspective.
Around the turn of the century (1900) it was very fashionable to wear jewelry made from a dead loved one's hair. Nobody thought it was morose.
Even now, how many people have dear ol' Mom's ashes in a jar on the mantle? Isn't that a little... weird... when you think about it?
My grandfather was buried behind the cabin at his deer-hunting camp. Isn't that a little... creepy?
People build marble buildings to house their remains. Now that's strange!
As for me, I want to be composted.
Re:The question is ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The question is ... (Score:2, Funny)
But, do I have to be cremated first? Aren't I carbon enough in this form?
*sigh*
Nobody ever sells me what I really want!!
Re:The question is ... (Score:2)
Re:The question is ... (Score:3, Funny)
Does this mean that... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Does this mean that... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Does this mean that... (Score:2)
Money and sexual stimulation [crimelibrary.com]
Re:Does this mean that... (Score:2)
Girls best friend? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Girls best friend? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Girls best friend? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Girls best friend? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Girls best friend? (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, this old thing? (Score:5, Funny)
You mean it was your grandmother's ring?
No. It is my grandmother.
I guess its one way to be around forever (Score:2)
I wonder what the world looks like from inside a diamond?
Okay I'll quit rambling now
jewlers or undertakers? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:jewlers or undertakers? (Score:3, Funny)
This gives new meaning to "being wrapped around her little finger".
Re:jewlers or undertakers? (Score:2)
ooOOOoo... (Score:3, Funny)
But the real benefit... (Score:2, Interesting)
...is the fact that in the future they will be able to reconstruct your entire body from the diamond.
Shortly after... (Score:3)
Puts a twist on the old engagement ring. (Score:5, Funny)
Can 21st century women expect to hear:
?Re:Puts a twist on the old engagement ring. (Score:3, Funny)
guidelines (Score:5, Funny)
Remember the general guide of two months worth of bodies for an engagement ring.
Re:guidelines (Score:2, Funny)
"And this beaut we call the 'Jimmy Hoffa'."
Sounds as awful as most (Score:2)
I'll have to look up the info, but if I find it, I'll post it here.
Re:Sounds as awful as most (Score:2)
All morturies will swear this is not true, but if you research it, you can find the law.
Unfortanatly, the person I know who did this researched died(ironically, in a way where his body was unrecoverable) so I don't have direct access to his research.
Re:Sounds as awful as most (Score:2)
Re:Sounds as awful as most (Score:2)
Obligatory Simpsons quote (Score:2)
*picture of Dr. Bushwell with handfuls of diamonds*
"Everybody wants diamonds! Diamonds! Diamonds!"
bleh. (Score:2, Funny)
One last thought, who else thinks that this will be Anna Nicole Smith's next move with the ashes of that old guy?
Re:bleh. (Score:4, Funny)
If he eats lots of food, and if he weighs 800+ pounds when he dies, there might be enough carbon in him to make a dildo out of pure diamond!
(Suggested epitaph: "She said she'd marry me for my money, but wouldn't put out until I could get it up and stay hard as a rock for at least an hour. Who's laughing now?")
Don't rule this out (Score:2, Insightful)
If it weren't for the outrageous prices (which are bound to come down), and the fact that I'm only 23, I'd be interested myself. Look for this company to be big as the synthetic-diamond industry becomes mainstream.
-- Hamster
That's absolutely disgusting. (Score:2)
Re:That's absolutely disgusting. (Score:2)
as a matter of fact, calling something somebody does disgusting, is a lack of tact.
perhaps you meant 'Class', or perhaps respect for the dead?
Re:That's absolutely disgusting. (Score:2)
*cough* The wearing them part.
Re:That's absolutely disgusting. (Score:2)
curses! (Score:2)
Re:curses! (Score:2)
ebay wont let you sell body parts after some guy sold a kidney back a couple years ago.
boycott! (Score:2)
at least these people arent using slave labor and children. just dead family members.
I for one would not wear any of these... spooky.
how to protect against fraud? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:how to protect against fraud? (Score:2, Informative)
Is the LifeGem made from remains or ashes? The proprietary LifeGem creation process creates diamonds from the true essence of our loved ones, the carbon. Our families receive the ashes as all others do when choosing cremation, except our families also receive a certified, high-quality LifeGem created diamond to memorialize their loved one's unique and wonderful life.
Read carefully, that says that 1.) the "true essence" of granny is carbon (not that the Lifegem is granny's carbon; 2.) You get the cremation ashes (granny's still in the bottle); AND, 3.) you get a diamond and some certificate to "memorialize" granny.
No fraud if you're up front about it right? So ..., I have an ashtray here that's full, some cigarette butts that "memorialize" granny's smoking habit, and for ONLY $1500 US (2 minimum), I'll send them to you and include an authenticating certificate that it's the "essence" of granny's butt.
Re:how to protect against fraud? (Score:2)
Call Dictionary.com (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Call Dictionary.com (Score:2, Funny)
Everyone is thinking in terms of jewelry. (Score:3, Insightful)
Maybe it only happens in the movies, but I can't imagine the horror of spilling someone's ashes. This seems to me to be a very clean way to avoid that potential problem.
I would imagine that most people would put them in extremely nice display cases, rather than having them put into rings and pendants.
A nice thought, but it would instantly make your house a target for theft. I predict the rebirth of the cat burglar.
And on a only loosely related note, how much would this service cost for a pet?
Most of you are forgetting... (Score:2, Interesting)
This fucken rules. (Score:4, Interesting)
The true measure of a diamond (Score:5, Funny)
Didn't Steve Jobbs come up with this (Score:2)
Contaminants (Score:2)
The other point worth mentioning is that human bodies contain a large amount of water. A lot of the carbon left in the ash is from the wooden coffin, not grandma...
Re:Contaminants (Score:2)
Except they don't cremate people in wooden coffins.
What if someone steals the gem? (Score:2)
And would it be logical to file it as murder if they attempt to destroy the gem?
And is this putting a cost to human life, that they are only worth as much as a diamond?
And damn... this is a pretty good way of hiding the body.
Death all over again (Score:2)
Re:Death all over again (Score:2)
Of course, any money to deBeers is blood money to an international cartel with a terrible record of exploiting powerless workers, so I'll opt for blood in my diamonds rather than on them.
Screw diamonds! (Score:3, Insightful)
How about making yourself into a frisbee [foxnews.com] for your family and friends. :)
Re:Screw diamonds! (Score:3, Funny)
Backup a little more... Ok, here comes your disc Aunti.. Ok, who's next... Rover? Ok puppy..
Timmy, take that disc out of your mouth and don't eat your Grandpa..
My new favorite quote: (Score:2)
"Hey nice diamonds! They look really nice!"
"Yeeeessssss. They are made of all of my victims! MUaaaaahhhhhHHHaaahhahhhahaa!"
distinguish (Score:2)
The real question, which I imagine DeBeers makes sure never gets answered, is: Can the EGL distinguish "synthetic" diamonds from the "real thing." I'm guessing they can't, other than from the tatoo DeBeers puts on theirs.
Why did they say that? (Score:2, Interesting)
I know the truth! (Score:5, Funny)
Family jewels? (Score:2, Funny)
how? (Score:2, Interesting)
Insurance coverage? (Score:2, Interesting)
lifegem.com........ (Score:2)
lifegem.... how about deathjewel
Go USA (Score:2, Funny)
WIll they take animals? (Score:3, Funny)
I'd rather be an industrial diamond (Score:2)
Grading the departed loved one... (Score:5, Funny)
--Will the obese deceased yield a higher number of carats?
--Will the chaste deceased score higher on clarity?
--Will the intelligent deceased get a "brilliant" cut?
And, of course...
--What affect will the race of the deceased have on the color?
Why do I have a euphoric Final Fantasy feeling? (Score:5, Interesting)
This feels like it's straight from a Final Fantasy game. I can be a piece of Materia someday! Now all they need to do is figure out how to summon people back out of the diamonds for a whopping good time.
She said... (Score:4, Funny)
So she said to me: "I'm getting a diamond from you, one way or another."
Maybe they *are* just normal synthetic diamonds. (Score:2)
That would be my guess, right off the bat. Isn't there not a whole lot of carbon left in ashes, anyway?
Shine on you crazy diamond (Score:2)
From "Wish you were Here"
Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random percision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!
Geez (Score:2)
(oh c'mon! all the other funny-but-obvious comments are said already!!)
overweight grandma? (Score:3, Funny)
bigger diamonds!
ill take grandma earrings, grandpa inlayed into my cane, and if possible i'd like sparky my dog as a necklace.
my aunt loved music, perhaps she can focus the lazer on my cd player or something to that effect.
He clearly got the idea from Ferris Bueller (Score:2)
"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of Cameron up his own ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
a very expenisve cubic zirconia! (Score:2, Interesting)
So this is no use to a super villain who wishes to convert a body to diamonds.
A cynical person would say this was just another grab by the death industry to separate grieving family from their money. What is it that this company does for the $4K. A 1/4-caret cubic zirconia can be had for fifty dollars or so. The only thing that Lifegem does is to extract the base carbon from the body remains, apparently using a simple furnace. Assuming that they contract out the actual diamond production, their risk and capital equipment expense should be relatively small. I admit that the purification process is probably innovative, and development costs must be recovered, but a nearly 100 times markup. Ridiculous.
Chicago Tribune. (Score:2)
diamonds? (Score:2)
"I Sing The Body Dielectric" (Score:2)
Read the Walt Whitman poem.
-- Terry
How to get the carbon (Score:2)
There's also a potential trust problem - how do you know your diamond is Grandma's carbon, not chimney sweepings? (One could say something similar of ordinary cremation ashes, of course.)
* More technically, the ash is what was didn't a gas when chemically combined with air. Unless some other atom is holding onto it very tightly, the carbon will form CO or CO2.
My entire family was killed in a building collapse (Score:5, Funny)
Quite the hierloom... (Score:3, Funny)
Guaranteed immortality.. (Score:2)
Yesssss! (Score:5, Funny)
a) whether to get an expensive engagement ring [slashdot.org] or not, and
b) How to get rid of my mother in law
all in one!
Re:Yesssss! (Score:4, Funny)
more convenient than shrunken heads (Score:4, Funny)
One can't fault the convenience factor, but
I don't know, I don't think it will have quite the same, er, impact.
Ha! Homeless people would be better! (Score:2)
A house.
Made out of dead people.
How evil-genius is that?
Re:leave dead people alone, don't wear them. (Score:2)
Put the dog in the fuckin' basket!
Factory accidents (Score:2)
Re:A Hindu Opinion about Cremation (Score:2)