Whiteox writes "A BSOD was projected onto the roof of the National Stadium during the grand finale to the four-hour spectacular at the Olympics. Lenovo chairman Yang Yuanqing chose to go with XP instead of Vista because of the complexity of the IT functions at the Games. His comment on Vista? 'If it's not stable, it could have some problems,' he said. Evidently Bill Gates attended the opening ceremony, so he must have witnessed it."

David Gerard points us to a story by Kim Komando, the CyberSpeak columnist for USA Today. Kim wants to alert parents to the growing menace of digital drugs. This imaginary terror uses binaural beats to simulate the effects of marijuana and heroin, and — some claim — to help develop telepathy and psychokinesis. Not to perpetuate a story that is clearly scare mongering, Kim is nice enough to add that, "many are skeptical about the effects of digital drugs. Few scientific studies have been conducted on binaural beats." I want a copy of mutant powers on tape and a whistle that will make women drunk when I blow it.

For the reasonable price of $1 visitors to New York's Coney Island amusement park can watch a man with a black hood pour water on the face of a prisoner in an orange jumpsuit strapped to a table. Unfortunately both men are actually robotic dolls created by artist Steve Powers to protest waterboarding. It's a shame that they couldn't find some college kids to get waterboarded. There are few things I like to do in the summer more than have some beers, get bloated with corn dogs and pour water over the face of someone tied down.

With the spokesdrone rolling off the line it can't be long before the Cheney quail hunting buddybot is unveiled.

Millie Kelly was born with a condition that required an immediate operation. During this operation her kidneys started to fail and since she was too small for dialysis machines, doctors told her parents that she was unlikely to live. Luckily for Millie, Dr. Malcolm Coulthard and a colleague tried to build a much smaller kidney machine on their own and they were successful. Her mother said, "It was a green metal box with a few paint marks on it with quite a few wires coming out of it into my daughter - it didn't look like a normal NHS one." The girl was hooked up to the machine over a seven day period to allow her kidneys to recover. Two years later, her mother Rebecca says she is "fit as a fiddle." You should see what Dr. Coulthard can build using a postage stamp, a tuning fork, a lawn chair and a jellyfish.

If you don't think teaching more science in the classroom is important, this lady will change your mind. I wonder what government program she blames for fog?

Manhattan's Gravity Fitness is charging customers $110 an hour for training session with the Nintendo Wii. Trainers incorporate Wii sports games, like boxing, with traditional exercise sessions. The gym's executive director Mark Natale says the Wii is just another workout tool, like treadmills and elliptical trainers with attached video screens. For $50 an hour, I will drink margaritas poolside and train you to do laps.

In an effort to save perfectly round, firm, heaving boobs from any undue harm, German police women will soon be issued bullet-proof bras. The bras were created to act as a second barrier of defense when it was found that normal bras would cause injuries to breasts by pushing plastic and metal parts into the majestic globes after being shot. The new bras are emblazoned with the word "police" and made from cotton, polyester, elastic and some other synthetic materials, thickly padded and with no metal or plastic studs or fasteners to cause irritation to the delicate flesh. It is theorized that the bras could actually protect the women attached to the breasts as well.

pdragon04 writes "According to The Register, "the Knights Templar are demanding that the Vatican give them back their good name and, possibly, billions in assets into the bargain, 700 years after the order was brutally suppressed by a joint venture between the Pope and the King of France..."." I wonder what a holy grail goes for with 700 years of compound interest.

linuxwrangler writes "Preparing for English-speaking visitors, a restaurant in China recently ran its name through an online translator, took the result, then purchased and mounted a large sign displaying the English version of their name: Translate Server Error." This one has been around for a couple of weeks but it's destined to become a classic.

The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and it appears that toilet humor was popular with the ancients just like it is today. The Sumerian saying goes like this, "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." The people who brought you written language and the wheel also brought you the fart joke. Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the University of Wolverhampton said, "Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles. What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."

Arguendo writes "It seems that earning $5000 a month for bed rest as a NASA contractor may not be so enjoyable after all. A 38 year-old woman selected for the study is blogging about her experience as test subject for NASA's study about the long-term effects of microgravity on people. There's quite a bit of information on her page, including info about the screening process, the food options [.xls link], and the not-so-great days of testing and immobility. It definitely sounds like work."

In an effort to get rid of surly taxi drivers, you will have to be able to pass a 15-minute conversation test to get a Taxi License in the UK. Topics of conversation will include things such as their favorite places and would be mixed up so the drivers can't simply answer in a "parrot fashion." Sajid Hussain, 35, manager of Walsall Radio Cars said, "A lot of taxi drivers can do their job properly but they may not be particularly well spoken. Obviously it is important they are polite and can talk to customers and keep them happy but many don't communicate well, although I have never had a complaint about drivers being rude." I don't care what the demeanor of my cabbie is, as long as he doesn't drive like he's playing Crazy Taxi.

18-year-old James Harris has been obsessed with buses since he was little. This obsession has landed him in some trouble recently, as police are accusing him of stealing buses from Miami-Dade depots on at least three occasions. What sets James apart from an ordinary thief is that he drove the buses along their correct routes, picking up and dropping off passengers as usual and then returning to the depot at the end of his "shift" without stealing the fares he collected. James would wear a uniform to avoid detection and take the bus for between four and six hours at a time. I have a feeling that most of Mr. Harris's school trips were on the short bus.

Barence writes "British police are shaming hoax 999 callers and time-wasters on YouTube in an effort to cut down on non-emergency calls. Video clips uploaded include a lady phoning police to ask what year the internet started, the dramatic tale of a man whose wife would only provide salmon sandwiches for lunch, and another worried soul who had lost her glasses and could not see properly to peel potatoes. Anyone else think the chance of YouTube fame is more likely to encourage copycats than educate people about the wrongs of hoax calling?"

In an attempt to rid the country of excessive eyeliner, Dr. Martens, and self indulged sadness, the Russian government has proposed a new law that would make goth and emo music illegal. The law would also target websites and have emo and goth fashion banned in schools and government buildings. Officials say that goth/emo music are "negative culture" which encourage depression, social withdrawal and suicide. In Soviet Russia it is always winter and never Christmas.

Beijing has set up a sex determination lab to test female athletes suspected of being male. The lab will evaluate cases based on their external appearance, blood samples, sex hormones, genes and chromosomes. I was surprised to read that the standing urination test and the potpourri appreciation chart were not listed among the gender verification methods.

Ubuntukitten writes "When some walls in Bocchignano near Roma started to erode, the perfect solution was found in Lego bricks (although some look suspiciously like Duplo bricks to me). FTA: 'At first I thought it would be a complicated procedure to fit the pieces, But as it turned out, the bigger plastic pieces were compatible with the smaller ones, and the Lego held itself in place without any glue whatsoever.' I like the effect. It's like the scene has been created on the holodeck but a few holoemitters are broken ..."

Scientists in Wales have run out of things to study so they are designing streets to be more "drunk friendly" in the hopes of reducing conflicts and violence. After going to the streets of Cardiff, breathalyzing locals and studying their behavior, it was discovered a quarter of the people encountered were so drunk they were staggering. Feeding this info into their computer model, they came to a staggering conclusion that drunk people trip over things. The researchers plan to investigate how moving street obstacles or increasing pedestrianization might ease congestion around nightspots. Study leader Simon Moore, from the University of Cardiff, said "Drunks become irritants because they slow people's progress towards their goal. They may then become targets of violence." The solution to this problem is obviously alleys full of bean bags and blankets.

A 9-year-old New Zealand girl, Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, has been made a ward of the court so that she can be given her a name that won't "... make a fool of the child and set her up with a social disability and handicap." This was not the first crazy name Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt has encountered. Among some of the most memorable: twins named Benson and Hedges, Violence, and Number 16 Bus Shelter. Some other New Zealand Names that were denied by The Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages include Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, and Sex Fruit. On a more personal note, there are still some hard feelings at our office as Mr. Malda did not name his child "Zanzibar Buck Buck Mcfate" as agreed to at lunch.