A man who rushed his girlfriend to the airport to catch a flight to see her dying mother, watched her miss the flight because a United Airline's ticketing agent refused to help because "it was time for her to go on her break." His girlfriend finally reached the gate in time to watch her flight depart, and the gate agent defended his colleague's lack of sympathy, saying "management really makes us work some unreasonable schedules." To be fair, breaks are serious business.

The Vermont Legislature is considering making sexting between teenagers legal. Under current laws, participants can be charged with child pornography, but lawmakers are considering a bill to legalize the consensual exchange of graphic images between people 13 to 18 years old. The bill passed the state Senate earlier this month. Hiding in the bushes and peering through windows will remain a crime.

A Polish politician is upset with his local zoo for acquiring a "gay" elephant named Ninio who prefers male companions and will probably not make little elephants. Michal Grzes, a conservative councillor in the city of Poznan in western Poland, said, "We didn't pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there. We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?" It is unlikely that zoo officials will be able to teach or counsel Ninio out of his alternative lifestyle because a gay elephant, like his straight counterpart, never forgets.

Old carnivals really did have the best attractions.

cottagetrees writes "Claudio Soares, a Brazilian author and literary blogger, has launched an online publishing experiment involving Twitter, CommentPress, videos, music and eventually, the ebook self-publishing service, Smashwords. Soares has broken his novel into pieces, and is serializing it from the unique perspectives of each of the eight characters, each of whom has their own Twitter account. In an interesting twist, the characters will interact with their Twitter followers. This has the potential to create an immersive experience, not just for the community of readers that congregates around the book and its characters as the story unfolds, but for the author as well. The book, Santos Dumont Número 8, is written in Portuguese."

The large sums of ransom money being paid out to pirates has led some Somali women to venture to the port town of Bosaso in hopes of finding a treasure map to their heart. Kaj Larsen, a former US Navy SEAL says, "One of the interesting demographic things that's happening right now is that single Somali women are flocking to the port town Bosaso where these pirates come out of in the hopes of marrying a pirate. So you can see that it really is — the root conditions of poverty, lawlessness and civil war on the ground in Somalia are really what are breeding this problem."

An Austrian man was forced to take his mom to court for stalking after she called him incessantly over a two-and-a-half year period. The 73-year-old woman, who would phone her son up to 49 times a day, was fined 360 euros ($478) by the court in the southern city of Klagenfurt. "I just wanted to talk to him. I can't talk to my son, nor my daughter. I've never seen my grandchild — who is already 15 years old," she told the court.

Shamanstvo, an online shamanist magazine, reports that Russia will stage the first ever 'Top Shaman' elections this year. 188 candidates from all over the country are in the running. Most are of course enhancement or elemental because even in real life going restoration is no fun. The elections will be held in two stages, with only 12 shortlisted shamans participating in the second stage. Each of the stages will last three months to allow the most far-off regions to cast their ballots.

Looks like someone took the business card scene in American Psycho to heart.

He spends his nights in a cement mixer; the tracks are just for afternoon naps.

Sweden's tax authorities are cracking down on unreported webcam stripper income. They estimate that hundreds of Swedish women are dodging the law, resulting in a tax loss of about 40m Swedish kronor (£3.3m) annually. The search involves tax officials examining stripper websites, hours upon hours, for completely legitimate purposes. A slightly disheveled project leader said 200 Swedish strippers had been investigated so far, adding the total could be as much as 500. "They are young girls, we can see from the photos. We think that perhaps they are not well informed about the rules," he said.

Police in Norfolk, England already have tracking units, The Automatic Vehicle Location System, installed in their cars that allow a control room to track their exact locations. Later this year a similar system will be attached to individual police radios to allow controllers to monitor the position of every frontline officer. Combined with equipment that can pinpoint the locations of 999 callers, the system will allow the force to home in on "shouts" to within yards. The system also lets operators filter a map showing the location of its vehicles and constables to reveal only those with the skills needed for a specific incident, like the closest officer with silver bullets during a werewolf attack.

A vegan driver has had her request for a vanity license plate, "ILVTOFU," turned down by the Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles because the phrase could be construed as obscene. "We don't allow FU because some people could read that as street language for sex," Department of Revenue spokesman Mark Couch said. It would have been interesting to see the wide array of pale people that would have commented on her plate.

If injecting the most toxic protein known to man into your face is just out of your price range, you may have a cheaper alternative. Many people are turning to cheap viper venom to smooth out those wrinkles and giving the boot to Botox. Tests show that twice-daily application of the viper cream for four weeks may reduce the appearance of wrinkles by 52 per cent and gives the user a dc14 poison touch attack.

I'm afraid the second amendment also applies to him.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, were given a very special gift by US marines: a signed photo of Saddam Hussein. During his captivity, the marines forced Saddam to repeatedly watch the movie South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, which shows him as the boyfriend of Satan. Stone said, "We're very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means. It's one of our biggest highlights."

the_therapist writes "A team from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany, studied chimps in the Tai Forest reserve in Ivory Coast and discovered that chimpanzees enter into 'deals' whereby they exchange meat for sex. Among the findings are that 'male chimps that are willing to share the proceeds of their hunting expeditions mate twice as often as their more selfish counterparts.' They also found this to be 'a long-term exchange, so males continue to share their catch with females when they are not fertile, copulating with them when they are.'"

This fall Michael Bay's rejected Dark Knight script made the rounds and it turns out the same thing has happened with his Transformers 2 script. It's too bad we won't get to see the hot female robots explode on the big screen.

Walgreens has ordered stores in Tampa and Chicago to remove their remaining Chia Obamas, saying the ceramic planter molded in the apparent likeness of the president was not appropriate for sale. While some customers liked the product, others found it as inappropriate as the ill-fated Chia Bikini. "We decided to pull the product so we're not subject to any political interpretation of the product," Walgreens spokesman Robert Elfinger said.

A man who was successfully sued by his grounded daughter has taken his case to the Quebec Superior Court. Unfortunately for him, they have rejected his appeal of a lower court ruling that said his punishment was too severe for the wrongs he said his daughter committed. His lawyer Kim Beaudoin says the father is "flabbergasted" and they may take case to Canada's Supreme Court. In its ruling the court declared the girl was caught up in a "very rare" set of circumstances, and her father didn't have sufficient grounds to contest the court's earlier decision. I wonder how many times this family has heard, "My client would like to know if you could pass the salt?" around the dinner table.