PornHub's 'Bangfit' Program Uses Sexy Exercise To Build Muscle

An anonymous reader quotes a report from Mashable: A new program created by PornHub called "BangFit" features 'sexercises' that allow players to build and tone muscle. Instead of forcing people to go the gym, Bangfit users simply practice sexual exercises, otherwise known as actual sex. Finally, you can gyrate and hump your way to the body of your dreams. BangFit users follow along with videos as they execute positions like the "squat and thrust" and "missionary press." Players can sync their phones to the workout in order to track their progress and measure the amount of calories burned. While the concept sounds simply gimmicky, BangFit says they designed the app using real science and professionals in the field. PornHub is also retailing an adjustable band that keeps your smartphone closer to to your body, making it easier for the gyroscope to track your movements (judge your performance?). Anytime you complete a level, PornHub congratulates you on your success with a phrase like, "You're the gymanastiest," which is simultaneously rewarding and disgusting. You can watch the retro NSFW introduction video here.

This program doesn't include the act in this haiku

[TheHaikuLover]

His erect penis,
Plugged inside a man's anus.
He is a faggot.

Mode of game

[Anonymous Coward]

So glad that there is single player mode.

Re:

[michelcolman]

And you can share your score on social media to brag about it, too!

Re:Mode of game

[Opportunist]

One of those games where holding the speedrun record is probably not really something to brag about.

Re:

[michelcolman]

Sure gives a new meaning to the term "bunnyhopping".

(Not to mention Object Boosting, Wallclimbing, Peek-a-Portal,...)

Re:

[tattood]

I don't know how fit you are going to get doing only 15 seconds of exercise...

That was my issue with it - "News for nerds"

[aliquis]

That's my issue with it.

36 year old (I don't even know how old I am any longer) and still virgin, how is this useful news for me?
But ok then. Doubt I'll play their version of the single player game though, too much work.

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

I think I see why you're a virgin. Go reread your last sentence.

Re:

[PopeRatzo]

I mean, we all know everyone wants to see the skaters bang each other like crazy.

Good luck with that.

Anyway, for sheer entertainment, I think having the Bulgarian weight-lifting team bang each other would be better.

Re:

[Dr_Barnowl]

I'd pay to see the Italian ladies diving team trying to synchronize their entry.

Re:

[Hartree]

"Anyway, for sheer entertainment, I think having the Bulgarian weight-lifting team bang each other would be better."

Whatever trips your trigger, Ratzo. Who am I to judge someone else's kink?

( ;), for the humor impaired.)

Expands most Slashdotters' workout routines

[Anonymous Coward]

Most Slashdot users already practice similar workout routines. It's widely believed on Slashdot that jerking off to porn is the best way to burn calories.

Re:Expands most Slashdotters' workout routines

[dcw3]

This would result in Slashdotters have one arm that looks like Popeye's, and a core that looks like Whimpy's.

Re:

[sociocapitalist]

This would result in Slashdotters have one arm that looks like Popeye's, and a core that looks like Whimpy's.

Which is different than the current situation how exactly?

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

Obligatory Family Guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?... [youtube.com]

Re:

[zarr]

I'm ambidexteous, you insensitive clod!

Re:

[dcw3]

So, we didn't need to know that you go both ways.

You can watch the retro NSFW introduction video..

[Chrisq]

You can watch the retro NSFW introduction video here.

This is one article where I dare not open any of the links at work!

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:

[fsagx]

This is one of the few stories where I expect a lot of people to throw all long-established /. tradition overboard and rush to RTFA.

I clicked this submission just to see what the App-App-Appers guy will say. Maybe he's not awake yet.

Re:

[Ol Olsoc]

I clicked this submission just to see what the App-App-Appers guy will say. Maybe he's not awake yet.

He's busy at the moment

Apper Fapper Dingdong Slapper.

Fappin apps then a nice long nap.

Re:

[Big Hairy Ian]

This is one of the few stories where I expect a lot of people to throw all long-established /. tradition overboard and rush to RTFA.

Hell on this one Iv'e been RTFM since I was 12

Re:

[Ol Olsoc]

This is one of the few stories where I expect a lot of people to throw all long-established /. tradition overboard and rush to RTFA.

What a wacky site.

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Rule 42

[turkeydance]

wins again.

Not to be confused...

[Hypno Buddha]

with Duck Duck Go's !bang feature. You can search specific websites with short powerful commands: http://duckgobang.com./ [duckgobang.com.] Use 'em all the time.

Laughed all over my keyboard

[Anonymous Coward]

Designed using professionals in the field.... *snort*

Re:

[Opportunist]

So ... I see in your resume... you're a ho?
No, I'm a fitness expert!

It's click bate

[raymorris]

Would you call this click bate?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

....I have no need for Pornhub's content myself...

Of course you don't .... we all believe you .... don't we guys?

Re: Sense of humour

[Anonymous Coward]

You have no need of their service.. but you know a lot about it.

Hmm.

Curious.

Re:

[michelcolman]

I must say this advertising campaign is downright genius. It's all over the online newspapers here in Europe.

And I bet lots of couples will post their scores on social media, too. It's just the right level of acceptable naughtiness.

I first heard about Pornhub when they launched a viral ad where an old man got a voucher from his grandson. Then there was their campaign to save the whales, and now this. Before all of that, I had never even heard of them.

Absolutely brilliant.

Re:

[EvilAlphonso]

The parent company (Mindgeek) headquarters are located in the middle of Europe, in Luxembourg, just around the corner from my office :) A former colleague actually works there.

Re:

[thegarbz]

I have no need for Pornhub's content myself

I have no need for delicious chocolate coated waffles either. That doesn't mean I don't eat one every chance I get. ^_^

Re:

[godel_56]

I have no need for Pornhub's content myself, but I do like their attitude and I wish more companies were as creative and funny with their marketing . . .

He just visits the site for the articles.

Re:

[iMadeGhostzilla]

I have no need for Pornhub's content myself

I love Pornhub-folks' sense of humour: they often have hilarious and creative ad-campaigns

This reminds me of a newspaper article complaining about erotic movies on a public TV channel's unlisted programming every night at 2AM back in the far more modest mid-80s in a country in the Eastern block. The author went on to say how pornography is bad and damaging for the morals etc. and then he said that at least one positive thing about the channel is they never show hard stuff like multiple men with one woman. The obvious question was, wait a minute, how do you know what they *never* show unless you'

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Best Slashvertisement Ever

[wiredog]

EVER!

Seriously, guys, if you want to slashvertise, this is the way to do it.

Slashdot Advertising Porn? Now I've Seen it All.

[EmagGeek]

Holy shit, I never thought I'd see the day Slashdot turned into just another advertising site for porn. I'd really like to know how much pornhub paid for this.

Why is this on slashdot?

[clockley(571021718)]

What does a exercise routine developed by a porn site have anything to do with tech. If the article show was about a clinical trial examining the claim of the creators or the tech used to develop this rather unusual exercise plan I would understand, only the method of delivery has any relation to tech which is hardly novel to anyone on slashdot. This article is just an attempt the get more people to examin their content.

Re:

[SecurityGuy]

+1

I had some initial optimism about the direction our new benevolent overlords were taking, but I'm changing my mind.

Re:

[bickerdyke]

What does a exercise routine developed by a porn site have anything to do with tech.

Because it is on that internet-thingie. ...and this is not "news about tech", it is "news for nerds"

Re:

[Opportunist]

And the spiral keeps turning, because more lard means less sex, and less sex more lard...

Porn Exercising

[freeze128]

It's simple. Just go to the website, and PROVIDE US WITH ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION, INCLUDING EMAIL ADDRESS, AND BEGIN EXERCISING.

It also shares your progress on social media. Somehow, I don't think this will catch on. Too many slashdotters will not want their moms to know that they are going to PornHub to "exercise".

Re:

[Opportunist]

OK... let's see....

Name: Master Bator
email: [e-mail] ...

Or did you really think you get anything more sensible than that?

Let's get started...

[Virtucon]

"Hey, I'm trying to get myself into shape. In order to do that we need to have countless hours of sex." - Worst pickup line

Bro

[110010001000]

Bro, do you EVEN Bangfit?

Re:

[Opportunist]

Suggestions?

Nothing like two people craning their neck in front of a screen and one asking "you think you could even DO that?"

Not judging at all

[KinkyClown]

"You're the gymanastiest," which is simultaneously rewarding and disgusting.

Come on Mashup... you watch porn just like the rest of us...

How is this /. news??

[AnontheDestroyer]

I mean, it's tech news, but not really news for nerds now is it?

Re:

[Bonker]

Bangfit's Single Player Mode == 'News for Nerds'.

You too can improve your arm strength to Hentai. Watch out for those difficult right-to-left switches!