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The Courts Science

Chimpanzee "Personhood" Is Back In Court 385

sciencehabit writes Chimpanzees are back in court. Judges in New York State heard the first in a series of appeals attempting to grant "legal personhood" to the animals. The case is part of a larger effort by an animal rights group known as the Nonhuman Rights Project (NhRP) to free a variety of creatures—from research chimps to aquarium dolphins—from captivity. If the case is successful, it could grant personhood to chimps throughout the state.
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Chimpanzee "Personhood" Is Back In Court

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  • by BitterOak ( 537666 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:10PM (#48099045)
    If chimps are people, will they be able to vote? Hold political office? Cue the jokes.
    • by Anonymous Coward

      1 poo sling for yes, 2 for no

      • by davester666 ( 731373 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @11:18PM (#48099861) Journal

        You most definitely do NOT want to be present for a filibuster.

        • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

          by Anonymous Coward

          I like monkeys.

          I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

          I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

          I herded them i

    • by TWX ( 665546 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:23PM (#48099127)
      They'd make better people than corporations do...
      • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

        by Anonymous Coward

        That was my thought. I think the corporate ruling is insane and compared to that this is super sensible.

      • What do you mean by that? Look, I understand the ruling on corporate personhood, but how would you change the law and what would that change in the law mean?

        Specifically, what is happening that you dislike as a result of corporate personhood? I just want to understand where you are coming from here. Please be specific.

        • by msauve ( 701917 ) on Thursday October 09, 2014 @07:03AM (#48101385)
          Congress should have the ability to pass legislation restricting the actions of corporations in any way they want.

          Corporations are artificial legal constructs which allow special privileges (tax and liability advantages, mainly) to their owners. Since they're constructs of law, they're subject to legal regulation. Corporations are not people, and do not have rights. No right to free speech, no right to vote, etc.

          That does not infringe on any individual rights - people still have the right and ability to band together for group speech, etc. They simply can't do it and also gain the special privileges given to corporations.
    • by phantomfive ( 622387 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:26PM (#48099157) Journal
      More importantly, would they vote Republican or Democrat?
    • If chimps are people, will they be able to vote? Hold political office? Cue the jokes.

      Most of the First Posts at Slashdot are posted by chimps...

    • If chimps are people, will they be able to vote? Hold political office? Cue the jokes.

      I don't think that they would necessary need to be declared legally competent persons, just because they were given personhood status. That being said, I think I agree with those who say that perhaps we need a new classification instead.

    • Thinking about Card's Hierarchy of Foreigness will give you an idea what these people are trying to accomplish.

      http://ansible.wikia.com/wiki/... [wikia.com]

      They are basically trying to have chimps and dolphins reclassified as raman, not as humans, not as djur. Raman don't get citizen rights such as voting, but the non-state related parts of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights ought to apply to them as persons.

      http://www.un.org/en/documents... [un.org]

    • by dasunt ( 249686 )

      The law seems to fail here. We have the concept of "human", and the concept of "animal", but nothing between.

      The great apes (excluding ourselves, of course), as well as some other species seem intelligent enough that we should consider them a special class of creature. Of course they lack human sophistication and intelligence, but they have the ability to think above and beyond most creatures. They seem to be able to crudely communicate using sign language (although they have great difficulty with gra

      • Why wouldn't we treat them as we (should) treat any animal? With respect for living conditions, pain control, anxiety, food, water and shelter? With that set of guidelines, they would be treated better than we treat most humans.

        Certainly in many places, animal abuse is prosecuted with more vigor than human - human abuse.

        • Except in the case of tasty animals, in which case out desire for cheap meat and susceptibility to well-funded lobbying campaigns overrules the requirement for respect and makes it ok to cram them into cages scarcely bigger than they are for their entire life. So long as the end consumer doesn't have to think about it.

    • I propose that we define a chimp as 3/5ths of a person. There's precedent, at least...
    • a lot of them seem to be posting on /. so why not?
    • by hey! ( 33014 )

      Well do children get to vote? Hold office?

      The state takes a protective stance toward children that it does not toward adults, because children while human are neither competent to exercise adult freedoms nor fully capable of defending themselves against adult humans. The state recognizes the human rights of children less in protecting their exercise of free rights or participation in the public sphere than by protecting them from arm and ensuring they are nurtured to some minimal standard.

      Presumably the s

  • Life imitating Art (Score:4, Interesting)

    by techno-vampire ( 666512 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:20PM (#48099103) Homepage
    The idea of a chimp, or other primate being intelligent enough to be considered human isn't new. Heinlein covered it back in 1947 in Jerry Was a Man. [wikipedia.org] If you haven't read it yet, you really need to before discussing this article any further.
    • Difference being that Jerry was modified. If we can ever uplift chimps to that level, granting them "human" rights will be a no-brainer. Sci-fi in general has done a lot of hand-wringing over such questions (see Data's trial in ST:TNG) but given the current zeitgeist I couldn't ever see it being an issue. The day a chimp can walk up to me and say "Hi, I'm Jerry, could you please stop experimenting on me?" is the day he gets the full protection of our laws. Until then it's always going to be a fringe iss

  • by maz2331 ( 1104901 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:36PM (#48099223)

    ...this case should have been tossed. One can't file on behalf of another (unless they are a legal guardian or hold a power of attorney), and the plaintiffs also can't show any personal harm to themselves.

    If they feel strongly enough about the issue, the remedy is political. Convince enough people that 2/3 of Congress and 3/4 of state legislatures will agree, and pass a Constitutional amendment.

  • This is soooo stupid! Everyone knows that the only thing we define as "people" are humans. And corporations.
  • by caseih ( 160668 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @09:42PM (#48099279)

    Now if we can just get them all to sign up and donate money.

  • by jpellino ( 202698 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @10:28PM (#48099601)
    and argue their own case in court. Next question.
    • by MightyMartian ( 840721 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @10:46PM (#48099705) Journal

      There are plenty of people who appear before the courts who cannot argue their own cases. In fact, most Common Law jurisdictions have individuals called Public Trustees (or a similar office) who are charged with representing those who, because they are not deemed capable of representing themselves in court, still may need access to the judicial system. Surely granting basic liberties to other sentient creatures could be modeled on the same legal structures we put in place to protect children and the mentally incapacitated.

  • by istartedi ( 132515 ) on Wednesday October 08, 2014 @10:40PM (#48099665) Journal

    Can they form corporations? That's where it gets really interesting.

  • Have we forgotten dogs and cats? Shouldn't they have the right to sleep together?

  • by Greyfox ( 87712 )
    10000 Quatloos to the first person to gay marry a chimpanzee.
  • they already do this for humans: mental capacity.

    It's a legal test: if the subject is found capable of litigating for himself, then he is "granted" the opportunity to assert his rights - which, it would then be assumed, he is aware of. If he is found not to be capable (which is the point of the test - it is not intended to find capacity, it is intended to find lack of capacity), decisions are made for him. He has zero input in decisions which directly and profoundly affect him.

    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ [legislation.gov.uk]

  • by Empiric ( 675968 ) on Thursday October 09, 2014 @12:34AM (#48100203)
    ...having a metaphysics that is logically and ethically incoherent.
  • Just say no to escargot!

  • by jandersen ( 462034 ) on Thursday October 09, 2014 @03:24AM (#48100767)

    A brief scan through the comments on slashdot so far comes up the usual, lame list of "reasons why this is just so stupid, like".

    So, this is not about whether chimpanzees should get the vote.
    It isn't about whether they should be considered human.
    It isn't about whether they should be allowed/forced to take part in human society on an equal footing.

    What it is about, is how we treat the animals in our care; part of that has to touch on whether animals have anything like personality: do they 'feel' rather than simply 'react'? Do they have wishes, intentions, thoughts, or are they simply 'flesh machines'? As our insight grows, it becomes harder and harder to deny that many, if not most, animals are like ourselves in that respect; what separates us is a matter of degrees rather than something fundamental: humans are more intelligent etc, but there is no reason to think we have a 'soul' which other animals don't have.

    The other part of the problem is to decide what we ourselves are, or want to be. When we don't want to torture prisoners, when we don't just get out the popcorn and watch the Ebola epidemic etc, it is because we as a society have the choice to care about others. It wasn't always so, and not everybody agrees. But we have chosen to be the kind of people who care and therefore we find it hard to deliberately cause suffering.

    Whether legislation is the right way, I don't know; in my experience people often resent rules and laws that are imposed on them, even if they agree on the sentiment behind them. Basically, it is about respect; we should certainly respect other animals on their terms, but having rules imposed on you doesn't feel very respectful.

    • Whether legislation is the right way, I don't know; in my experience people often resent rules and laws that are imposed on them, even if they agree on the sentiment behind them. Basically, it is about respect; we should certainly respect other animals on their terms, but having rules imposed on you doesn't feel very respectful.

      You mean rules like "Don't murder little Timmy"?

      If you accept that some animals are much closer to us than to other kinds of animals, that they have personality, feelings, emotions, intelligence and all, then rules for dealing with them are no longer optional, they're mandatory. Just as some rules are mandatory between humans. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.

  • I'd be surprised if this can be decided at the New York State court level.... Surely this is an issue for congress? (yeah - pun uttterly intended. Thanks. I'll be here all week)

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