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Science

New Director Chosen At Fermilab 52

Posted by samzenpus from the every-planet-has-a-north dept.
An anonymous reader writes "It appears that Fermilab has chosen a a new director. They refuse to release the name of the new director, only referring to him as 'The Doctor'. Citing their primary reasons for choosing him: 'It was his extensive experience, as well as his vague yet somehow still impressive educational background, that tipped the scales in the Doctor's favor, members of the committee said. This despite the fact that none of the members could determine with any certainty exactly what the new lab director's doctorate is in. "After facing down Daleks, Cybermen and the Master, I can't think of anyone more qualified to take on a congressional budget committee," outgoing director Pier Oddonesaid said. "I think the Doctor is a perfect choice."'"
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New Director Chosen At Fermilab More

New Director Chosen At Fermilab

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  • Encryption sure is helpful for productivity! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 01, 2013 @12:56PM (#43332051)

    Can we turn this encryption on permanently? It's doing wonders for my productivity.

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by lcam ( 848192 )

      The thing is, if you unencrypt the message without properly agreeing to the licensing agreement, you can say hello to the Aaron Swartz prosecutor for unauthorized access to "sensitive" information. That is what we all mean by "productivity".

  • Not funny (Score:4, Insightful)

    by dskoll ( 99328 ) on Monday April 01, 2013 @01:00PM (#43332087) Homepage

    This has gone on waaaay too long. It's like a tedious Kids In The Hall sketch that just won't die.

    Hire someone with a sense of humor to do your next April Fool's gag, m'kay?

    • The Kids In The Hall at least managed jokes and funny situations occasionally. At Slashdot, tedium is the new humor.

    • If they stretch out ones that aren't even funny, imagine what would happen if they hired somebody with a sense of humor! They gag would be up for 3 weeks until they stopped lolsnorting and roflcoptering.

    • Lopez. Lopez. Lopez. Lopez.

    • Kind a lot like drug addicts. (Score:1)

      by Anonymous Coward

      This has gone on waaaay too long. It's like a tedious Kids In The Hall sketch that just won't die.

      Hire someone with a sense of humor to do your next April Fool's gag, m'kay?

      Here you guys are, bitching about this and yet, you keep coming back.

      Like the drug addict who gets crap from his dealer and says, "That was shit! Gimme another hit."

      Just say'in.

    • Eh??? It's 19:28 here (that's around 7:30pm in American, I think).

      Plenty of other web sites manage to adjust themselves to the time zone of the reader ... obviously that would be a bit too clever for /.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by sl3xd ( 111641 )

        Are you suggesting that news sites (like the BBC) should display entirely different content until the local time matches?

        I can see it now... the BBC reports that the Queen's dog has died at 18:00 UTC, but I can't read the story for another 8 hours, when it's 18:00 local time. I'd hate to cover Asia, and have to write the news before it happens...

        It's not even noon local time, and I've been dealing with April Fool's for 18+ hours already, and I have another 11 hours to go. Funny how that happens - I hadn't

    • It's more like Saturday Night Live than Kids in the Hall. I don't recall many Kids in the Hall sketches that dragged on without a few laughs along the way. SNL on the other hand has had a habit of taking a thin premise and acting like it was funny to stretch it beyond its limits.
    • Another problem with some Kids In The Hall sketches was that they would try to do two different jokes at the same time, the combination being worse than the individual jokes were.

      Same thing here. "Encryption" is annoying enough. The Doctor Who joke is not funny. Both together? I'm actually going to WORK the rest of the day.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by emag ( 4640 )

      It's like this every year. I really and truly hate the internet on April 1. The saddest part is that so many of my (former) go-to sites seem to think that it's fun to do this for 24+ hours at a stretch, instead of carefully interspersing things throughout the day. After the first hour or two, it really makes me question why I bother reloading the pages, then I remember that I'd have to do work otherwise.

  • The Doctor is complete irresponsible and incompetent for this job. He may have the experience but not the will and constancy that this position requires.
    • Yupp. I wouldn't lett that guy near any Higgs Boson. I mean we may be only living on a type 13 planet and we may be prone to blow ourselves up. But at least let us have the fun ourselves instead of putting an irresponsible Time Lord next to the red button!
      Also: I wasn't aware Fermilab was located in Wales. Or is there a particular reason why this was posted in Welsh?
  • Was there white smoke coming out the chimney or something?
  • And I'm not talking about this article. I'm talking about Slashdot as a whole.

  • Flugl fug gibbel futooni dofkweri colpljsew hanging out like Dr. Manhattan's?

  • Honestly with Slashdot being the way it is these days, I wasn't sure if anyone would notice if they started running gag stories today. At least this way we know.

  • after searching for unusual sub-quark particles for years, apparently Fermilab has created enough of them to assemble a director that is unknown, strange, and charming, all at the same time. we may suppose this to be the neutron referred to by Dr. Rutherford in his Bakerian Lecture.

  • RSS (Score:1)

    by Orcris ( 2652275 )
    I'm reading this in an RSS reader. It's not pleasant needing to go to the site for every new article.

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