Over 1000 Volunteers For 'Suicide' Mission To Mars 453
New submitter thAMESresearcher writes with a few updates on Mars One: "The Dutch company Mars One is organizing a one way mission to Mars 2023. In a press release that came out today, they say they have over a thousand applicants already. In the press release they also mention that they are now a not-for-profit Foundation. It sounds ambitious, but they have a Nobel prize winner, an astronaut, and several people from NASA on their board."
The actual selection process starts early next year.
They've already announced their picks for the crew (Score:5, Funny)
"We've carefully reviewed the 1,000 candidates who volunteered online and have put together a team of our finest candidates," said Mars One head Bas Lansdorp:
Captain:
Jack Meov
Pilots:
Bob A. Booey
Ivana Bloweau
Mission specialists:
Mike Hunt
Jean Luc Picard
George Washington
Richard Flair, N.B.
Have the actually verified the Volunteers... (Score:5, Funny)
Au Contraire (Score:4, Funny)
I'll be a perfect candidate for such a mission... I doubt my wife would agree though.
Au contraire. Just last night she was telling me that she'd do anything to get rid of you.
I'm pretty sure she'd be a for shooting you at Mars.
Telephone sanitizers? (Score:4, Funny)
How many of those 1.000 candidates are telephone sanitizers?
Not a Former NFL Linebacker! (Score:4, Funny)
Mike Hunt
Yeah right, you're trying to tell me that former Green Bay Packer Michael Anthony Hunt [wikipedia.org] signed up for this? Mike Hunt received a total of two interceptions while playing only twenty two games. Mike Hunt knows how to play the field. It's ridiculous to think that we would waste Mike Hunt, a national treasure that has been enjoyed by millions of burly men, by putting Mike Hunt on a Mars suicide mission!
Hmmmmm (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Collecting volunteers on the internet (Score:5, Funny)
"Wanted: Somebody to go to Mars with me. This is not a joke. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed."
=Smidge=
Funnly last sentence (Score:3, Funny)
Am I the only one who misread it as "The natural selection process starts early next year"?
Re:WATER? (Score:4, Funny)
Where the hell are they going to find water? Shipping it surely isn't an option....
Don't call me Shirley.
Re:Not a Former NFL Linebacker! (Score:5, Funny)
Admittedly, Mike Hunt was quite a ballplayer.
What would you do before you died on Mars? (Score:5, Funny)
If you're in Mars doing a one-way mission with no hopes of returning. What would you do before you died?
I'd make an effort to fuck with people's minds in the future.
I would make an elaborate treasure map of ancient alien civilizations in areas that are suitable for future human settlements. That way when people find my map and realize a government building is built on a location that apparently has ancient alien bones, treasure, etc., they think it was a government conspiracy or cover up and madness will ensue (but I'll be laughing from the heavans).
I would look for a cave and set up fake cave paintings like Prometheus pointing towards the Sun. That way they may send some poor sap to go explore the sun for possible clues (and possibly make great discoveries along the way) but in the end a lot of people will die because the Sun is really dangerous.
And the day I will fall to near death I will walk as far as I can, fall flat on my face, break my protective suit and have my right arm point in some arbitrary direction, so when rigormortous kicks in, my arm stays in that position. That way people will wonder what the hell I was pointing at.
I guess I want to be an asshole astronaut lol.
Re:What would you do before you died on Mars? (Score:4, Funny)
Walk backwards for several miles from a crack in the rock. Some future explorer will follow that trail and think I disappeared.
Leave any colony in a state like the LV-426 colony, just for the laughs. A little-known, ugly-looking, smuggled Earth creature stuck in a specimen jar for bonus points.
Sketch out a Turing machine calculating flight trajectories in the dust on the ground, just for the hell of it.
Hunt down the Mars Rovers and turn them into Roomba's. Bonus points for making it look like Wall-E.
Write "Beware of the...." in the sand before I die.
Ridiculous Title (Score:5, Funny)
But there are way more than 80000 lawyers on Earth (Score:5, Funny)
What the hell are we going to do with the rest of them?
Re:Not a Former NFL Linebacker! (Score:2, Funny)
All or nothing (Score:5, Funny)
Re:one condition (Score:5, Funny)
so like comcast then?
Re:But there are way more than 80000 lawyers on Ea (Score:5, Funny)
Colonize the Sun?
A Canticle for Leibowitz (Score:5, Funny)
After you die, there should be a mechanism in the spacecraft to expose you directly and slowly to the vacuum of space. You should be frozen and preserved as best as you can be. Then the ship should gently deposit you on the surface of Mars as intact as you could possibly be. Why?
What if there is an event on Earth like the flame deluge from A Canticle for Leibowitz? A nuclear event where 99% of the world is destroyed and thousands of years later we rediscover science?
Just imagine how surprised they will be to find a human skull on Mars.
Re:Not a Former NFL Linebacker! (Score:3, Funny)
Mike Hunt is the poster child for a career of being shafted. From his start with the Toronto Blue Balls, to his career-ending finale when he ill-advisedly swung at a pitch from Wrong-Hole-Harriet, Hunt moved deeper and deeper until the truth finally penetrated: All this time, they'd treated him like a dick. He knew it was time to pull out, and pull out he did. Some analysts think it's pushing it to say so, but those in the know speak of the collapse of walls of the sport, giving Hunt the nod for stretching it out as long as possible. Now Hunt seeks a private life, trying to avoid the press and the associated innuendo.
Re:I would go if there was a suicide booth (Score:5, Funny)
I got to "2875lbs of female flesh" and then my mind wandered to a very happy place.
Man clearly likes his women on the large side.