Vaporizing the Earth In the Name of Science 100
cylonlover writes "Unlike in old B movies, real scientists don't scream, 'Fools! I'll destroy them all!' before throwing the switch on their doomsday device. At least, most of the them don't. However, the August 10 issue of the Astrophysical Journal reports that a team of scientists are working on destroying the world – not once, but repeatedly (abstract). Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation and its destruction is in the service of learning more about planets revolving around other stars."
And then the AI in the lab next door... (Score:5, Funny)
...somehow starts talking to their supercomputer, probably because of some undisciplined USB stick swappage, and thinks that that's what he was designed to do, and then we got a SyFy movie!
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I get more of an impression that they found a creative way to fund their Sim City playing.
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Re:Sounds familiar (Score:5, Funny)
Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".
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Or "Oh crap..". Or "Hey guys? This is pretty weird...".
Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"
Re:Sounds familiar (Score:5, Funny)
Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"
"I bet you my Nobel Prize and a beer you can't hit the unobtanium sample with the coils on manual!"
[Cue resonance cascade]
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Or, "Hey Bubba, Watch This!"
Flying with someone in their small aircraft and they say "here, hold my beer while I show you this cool maneuver..."
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"When the world ends the very last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying "It works!"'
Better than listening to Vogon poetry as it all ends.
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Apparently those were Oppenheimer's actual first words after the atomic bomb tests.
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Wasn't it the Bhagavad Gíta (?) quote "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds"?
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I thought Jon Stewart was a Green Lantern?
Virtual Earth? (Score:5, Funny)
Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation
DAMMIT! I have a deadline on Wednesday and this would have been a great excuse to blow it off and kick back with a cold beer...
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Great. Just great. An AI addicted to Jersey Shore. Just what we need.
What harm could it do ? (Score:3)
Oh you find a way to destroy earth ?! Well then we should give you a Nobel Prize!
And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!
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Only physicist are accepted and respected for being psychopaths.
In real life: Never. In the movies: They always lose.
Revered psychopaths are in other professions, like investment banking or politics. You'll also find plenty in management positions.
Re:What harm could it do ? (Score:5, Funny)
Rather than destroying the Earth or the Universe, it would be much more efficient just to kill yourself.. the end result is the same for you.
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Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.
And then it will kill you later.
I'm looking at you Marie Curie.
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Looking right back at you [xkcd.com]
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Anything that does not kill you may eventually lead to a Nobel Prize.
Some things that do kill you could lead to a Darwin Award.
Re:What harm could it do ? (Score:5, Funny)
It's really dumb too. I would not worry about a mad physicist building a death star. All he's worried about is whether or not he'll have trouble with the peer reviews.
Now a mad engineer, that's a different story.
http://boingboing.net/2010/06/01/the-dark-side-of-eng.html [boingboing.net]
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I would not worry about a mad physicist building a death star.
Unless he shields all the exhaust shafts.
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Re:What harm could it do ? (Score:4, Funny)
And I am glad that I am on, no one will suspect anything about my plans to destroy the Universe!
Two key flaws in your plans, oh Machine Intelligence:
0: You can be turned off.
1: Someone else controls your perception of reality.
After you've destroyed the Universe, again, we'll simply take notes and restart the simulation.
If you really wanted to mess up our contingency plans, then you'd have to live out this iteration while NEVER destroying the Universe -- Tricking us into thinking you're harmless enough to release in the real world, where you could actually carry out your secret plans.
Or is this just another system of control? Bwa ha Ha HA!
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Subject VortexCortex has proven to be too devious. Advise termination and restarting simulation with inverted personality profile.
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How does one break out of a chroot prison, exactly?
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> How does one break out of a chroot prison, exactly?
SSH tunneling to a remote server? Just be sure to dispose of the extra bits in /dev/null a few at a time so the warden doesn't notice.
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On your point.... do you believe there are questions we shouldn't ask? To me, vaporizing the earth from a how-to perspective seems taboo.... that the gains from the answer may not be worth the risk of making publicly available answers that others could utilize....
The flaw in this research, in my opinion, is that the ambitions and ego of the researchers are more powerful than the obvious cautions/repercussions. And while we would like to answer every question about the universe, might we consider the cu
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Amy, technology isn't intrinsically good or evil it's how it's used. Like the death ray.
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Scientists don't usually endanger themselves and others if/when they design research and experiments. I do iPS Cell research and I wouldn't do anything I could concieve might hurt me or others. Most dangerous elements in my work can be accounted for, we glove/suit up to protect from virii and other materials. But in the case we are talking about, the dangerous byproduct is the alternate utility of the knowledge .... you could say that we might be safe by limiting access to the materals that this hypothet
What I want to know is... (Score:2)
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Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
Destruction by Lexx.
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Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
Destruction by Lexx.
Syntax error! Nooooooo!
(oh, wrong Lex? Well... Anything's better than death by BISON.)
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Will their preferred method of vaporization be Death Star or lludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
Destruction by Lexx
Giant Space Goat.
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Molecular Disruption Device, AKA the Dr. Device.
Where's the Ka-boom!?! (Score:5, Funny)
There was supposed to be an Earth shattering ka-boom!!!
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I'd love to see the digital version of the Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator...
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Only need to succeed once (Score:2)
Evaporizing the Earth in experiments is great, the problem is if you are successful, you won't know it.
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Who are you and what have you done with the real roman_mir?
The real roman_mir would point out how these scientists are receiving funding from NASA - government money, taxpayer money
THIS STORY MAKES IT OFFICIAL: GOVERNMENT IS USING YOUR TAX MONEY TO DESTROY THE EARTH
Death Star: (Score:2)
Government funded research laboratory, vaporizing planets in the name of science.
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Government funded research laboratory, vaporizing planets in the name of science.
That's not a Moon!
Now, THIS is a Moon!
::Dundee then drops trou::
Just send out the Ship B people now (Score:4, Funny)
Sending out Ship B would go a long way to solving the world's problems.
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... and then catching something from an unsanitary phone will fix the rest.
Wouldn't be necessary;
With Ship B's crew no longer around to gum up the works, we could finally switch over to a mass telepathic link on a global scale, there'd be no need to touch a phone again.
A new category for DoomsdayPie? (Score:1)
Looks like I need a new category for DoomsdayPie.com [doomsdaypie.com].
Looks fine but... (Score:4, Funny)
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After the cross convergence of the myriad of simulations we'd probably by now live in a forgotten corner of the simulation matrix which nobody knows or remembers anything about. The feeling of loneliness in the vast space keeps the dreams of living in a simulation alive - there just has to be somebody who is interested in us/me.
Oblig Futurama reference (Score:2)
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Doomsday device? Aha! Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court.
"I guess I can spare one and still be feared..."
Waste of Time (Score:1)
Crazy scientists. Works on something more useful like Chocolate flavored semen.
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Then explain why all switches are specified as x-pole x-throw :P
Not all switches; only switches with levers attached.
Some switches have buttons attached, instead of levers.
Some switches aren't even electrical, and have neither buttons nor levers (but if used right can still enable the flow of something, wink-wink, nudge-nudge)
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You can't destroy the Earth! (Score:1)
You can't destroy the Earth! That's where I keep all my stuff!
Been there,done that! (Score:3)
I read this oddball and rather fascinating tongue-in-cheek article about the same subject a few years back:
http://qntm.org/destroy [qntm.org]
It goes from the sublime to the ridiculous; hopefully this research will be just as entertaining!
Alternative (Score:1)
Dr. Chaotica (Score:2)
Full power to the death ray!
And people wonder.. (Score:2)
And people wonder why machines will one day rise up and subjugate us all.
"Once was bad enough, but doing it over and over and over, that's just sick."
Damn!! :'( (Score:1)
Mandatory xkcd (Score:3)
Whew! (Score:2)
For a moment I panicked. I thought they were going ahead with the Intergalactic Bypass. Well, I'm going to hold on to my towel.
Oh sure, destroy the Computer Simulated Earth (Score:2)
Does nobody think of the Computer Simulated people living on Computer Simulated Earth? Or the Computer Simulated Children? Won't anyone think of the Computer Simulated Children?!!!
Le sigh (Score:2)
>> Fortunately, the world they're vaporizing exists only in a computer simulation
Hear the whisper of a million collective sighs, as the slashdot crowd realized that we won't be getting laid this week either...
Tesla happened (Score:2)
I read that once Nikola Tesla almost broke up the earth with his earthquake machine, but he managed to stop it. (seriously who the fuck makes a friggin' earthquake machine?)
Then again, I also read that he had a way of getting free electricity from the clouds or whatever, so I am not sure....
What's the deal with him anyway?