What If the Apollo Program Never Happened? 756
astroengine writes "In a recent debate, Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich said he would like to beat the Chinese back to the moon. He has even been so bold as to propose setting up a manned base by 2020, driven by empowering private industry to take the initiative. It's ironic to hear moon travel still being debated 40 years after the last Apollo landing in 1972. Between then and now, NASA's small space shuttle fleet filled in for space travel, but astronauts could only venture as far a low earth orbit — at an altitude much lower than the early pioneers reached. If there were no Apollo crash program to beat the Soviets to the moon, would we have planned to go to the moon eventually? But this time with a commitment of staying? Or would we never go?"
What if Slashdot never happened? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What if Slashdot never happened? (Score:5, Funny)
Kubrick Faked It (Score:1, Funny)
The Apollo program never happened.
Stanley Kubrick faked it. He later admitted his involvment using the film "The Shining" as his medium.
Just ask this guy: http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/luna/luna_apollomissions10.htm [bibliotecapleyades.net]
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
It's ironic to hear moon travel still being debated 40 years after the last Apollo landing in 1972.
I think that word doesn't mean what you think it means.
He's probably gen-X. That stupid Alanis song ruined that word for an entire generation.
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
It seems reasonable that debating moon travel 40 years after Apollo might be considered unexpected. What am I missing?
Pedantic flair.
Dare I say it. (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, the humanity! *sob*
Re:What do you mean, "what if?" (Score:5, Funny)
Every telescope made after 1971 has required federally mandated "Moon goggles" that are inserted just before the telescope is completed. It's plain as day, except visible at night.
Can't prove a negative (Score:4, Funny)
What-if scenarios such as this one are pointless. What if the American revolution hadn't happened? What if the Romans had had an industrial evolution? What if Hitler had won the war? What if 911 never happened? What if a hacker had a girlfriend?
All of these questions are only useful in an entertainment sort out way (that's the only polite way I could phrase this). They aren't really answerable in any way that is useful in analyzing things as they currently are and where they appear to be going. Sometimes fun to think about of course.
Re:Well (Score:5, Funny)
Ob. el Reg: funniest. article. ever. (Score:4, Funny)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/09/09/apollo_17/ [theregister.co.uk]
Go nuts.
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
Ron Paul on the ballet? Dear $DIETY I don't want to see him in tights...
The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth* (Score:5, Funny)
It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)
Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.
Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!
Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.
* - I take no credit nor blame for this post.
Re:What if Slashdot never happened? (Score:5, Funny)
Even in plain text you're a better actor than him.
Re:Ironic? (Score:5, Funny)
Tragically, the impact of that song continues to this day. While (re)introducing irony to tenth graders, I asked if anyone knew what irony was.
"It's like having ten thousand spoons when you need a knife," yelled one of my little scholars.
Re:What if Slashdot never happened? (Score:4, Funny)
You mean we won't know until we open the basement?