Earliest Human Beds Found In South Africa 102
sciencehabit writes "A team working in South Africa claims to have found the earliest known sleeping mats, made of plant material and dated up to 77,000 years ago—50,000 years earlier than previous evidence for human bedding. These early mattresses apparently were even specially prepared to be resistant to mosquitoes and other insects."
77,000 years? Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
My friends in the Word,
These atheist-backed scientists have surely fabricated these so-called "sleeping mats," as it is clearly outlined in the Bible that God created Adam and Eve 5,000 years ago. Note that I am not questioning the existence of these mats, as these could have possibly BEEN used by Adam or one of his descendants after being thrown out of Eden, I am questioning the "evidence" of their age from the so-called "carbon-dating" process. I wish these scientists well with their work and pray that they will break free from the yoke of grants from godless individuals and governments.
Your friend,
Jake
Re:77,000 years? Bah! (Score:3, Funny)
My scientific friends in the World,
These religious-backed lunatics have surely fabricated these so-called "biblical stories," as it is clearly outlined in the Body of Science evolution created Adam and Eve 5,000 years ago (kidding lolololol, no really more like ~100K+ yrs). Note that I am not questioning the existence of these biblical stories, as these could have possibly BEEN used by the ruling class or one of their descendants after not convincing people to do shit they wanted them to do, I am questioning the "evidence" of their validity from the so-called if you repeat it enough it must be true process. I wish these religious types well with their work and hypothesize that they will break free from the yoke of ignorance of the scientific method and peer validated results verified by individuals and governments.
Your friend, Science
FTFT
Malm? (Score:4, Funny)
Did it come from IKEA?
This only proves that they were smoking in bed (Score:3, Funny)
It's a nasty habit that I've been trying to quit for 77,000 years.
Re:77,000 years? Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
It's a good thing his belief system doesn't believe in karma.
Whaaaaa?? (Score:5, Funny)
For people wondering how a mattress could possibly be mosquito resistant it was because it was made out of a specific plant that was a natural insecticide.
Which begs the question, was that lost technology? I don't see Africans using it for the past couple thousand years or anyone else.
My favorite from the article:
"There were no rules for separate eating, working, or sleeping places," she says. "Breakfast in bed may have been an almost daily occurrence."
Perhaps not. I am sure there was the, "Don't touch Thag's shit rule" though.
No doubt ... (Score:5, Funny)
I almost feel surprised; (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Slow (Score:5, Funny)
SLOW day at Slashdot.
Slow day.
You could just go lay down on a bed and talk a nap instead of reading slashdot then.
Astounding: Protruding Leaf on Each Mattress (Score:5, Funny)
Dr. Wadley today announced an incredible discovery relating to the prehistoric mattresses, each had a protruding leaf with sub-millimeter perforations. These perforations outlined words on the leaves: "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law. Tongati River Mattress Works. Composition 35% Sedges, 40% Rushes, 25% Grasses. Machine Wash Cold. Do Not Bleach. Machine Drying May Degrade Flame Retardant, Please Hang Dry".
Re:77,000 years? Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
Must've been a confusing time for the Sumerians. http://www.theonion.com/articles/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-worl,2879/ [theonion.com]
God must be a consultant. He comes in near the end of a project and takes credit for everything.
Re:Whaaaaa?? (Score:5, Funny)
Wow.
Thank You. My informal use of an oft misquoted phrase was inexcusable. I have been shamed sir, and I hereby undertake not to make any such utterances in the future, as it offends all civilized people, bruises fruit, and scares children. I humbly ask your pardon and your continued tolerance of my rampant ignorance.
Your generous attention to my logical and grammatical failures all the more impressive and deeply moving, since it meant taking you away from the wild parties, Grammar Nazi groupie orgies, and generally, a life of fame, fortune, and excitement to come call me out on the Internets in the middle of the night.
I shall name my two first born sons (twins god willing) Vortex and Cortex in your honor sir.
Forever grateful, My I please have another,
Ed III