Now's Your Chance To Apply As an Astronaut 86
From reader Leebert comes this notice: NASA will hold a conference this afternoon to explain the process the agency will use to select the next class of astronauts. According to the announcement, "NASA will recruit its next astronaut class through the federal government's USAJobs.gov website. The class of 2009 was the first astronaut class to graduate in a new era of space flight following the final mission of the space shuttle. A new fleet of human spacecraft is in development by commercial companies to deliver crews to the International Space Station. NASA also is developing spacecraft to send humans on missions of exploration far away from our planet." Says Leebert: "I plan to apply, because I want to be able to say: 'Not everybody can be an astronaut. I know, they sent me a rejection letter.'"
Bring your own ride (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone who's got a rocket that will get to at least LEO is automatically accepted.
At a very young age (Score:2, Funny)
At a very young age I started working toward becoming an astronaut. I studied math early. I wasn't a natural at it but I could do it. I got my PhD in physics at 29 (and a private pilot license). I started seriously looking at applying, but discovered I was three inches too tall. It wasn't something I had really ever looked in to. I was fit and seemed qualified, but just too tall. Something I had zero control over. I got really depressed, gained a lot of weight, and my mom said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air.
Re:Rejection letter (Score:4, Funny)
Sucks to be Virgin.
"Mr. Branson's having a heart attack! Is there a doctor on the spaceship?!"
"No... there isn't! My god, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
My application (Score:5, Funny)
Hello NASA,
I hereby apply for the Austronaut Candidate position.
I am a Danish, 24 year old guy, but the absence of a American citizenship shouldn't count me out. Here is why:
- Since the age of 3, I have had an astonishing ability to find my way around in the dark. Space is pretty dark. This skill will definitely come in handy. Otherwise I'm pretty handy with a flashlight.
- I absolutely love soup. This is fantastic, since it is highly probable to be on the space menu. I can eat like seven bowls of soup in one sitting. Sometimes eight. Depends on the soup.
- My grandmother always used to scream out; Alexander! GET DOWN FROM THERE! You know why? Because I climbed. I climbed everything. The ISS will be a piece of cake to get around.
- I'm 6'1" and I weigh around 172 pounds (depending on how much soup I've had), which is an absolutely perfect match for an astronaut. I won't take up too much space in the spaceship, and I can reach the top shelf - even when weightless.
- I played ice hockey for 9 years and I live in Scandinavia. Subzero temperatures won't ever be a problem. I enjoy eating ice cream while walking outside in the snow.
- I am currently studying journalism at the University of Southern Denmark. This makes me an absolute master of any language and a valuable member of any constellation of professions, known to mankind - but I will of course drop out, should you pick me for the position.
- As I am an excellent conversationalist, the ride from Earth to the ISS won't be boring. I read a lot and I am an avid quiz contestant, my broad knowledge and social abilities will definitely be awesome to have on the rocket.
- I could bring a keg or two of beers along, if needed. I understand you guys are a bit pressed for cash at the moment.
- I am fluent in whatever language I get to study for 3-4 years, which is absolutely vital for the survival of earth, should I be captured by hostile hesitant aliens.
and lastly, I am a true master of disguise. I can look like a astronaut, a scandinavian, an american, an alien or a goldshoed clown croc kitty (see attached photograph). [Hello Slashdot: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/308748_10150340417636211_722201210_9759559_2148778_n.jpg%5D [akamaihd.net]
I am versatile in every manner.
Looking forward to hearing from you, and to our future adventures together.
To infinity and beyond,
Alexander O'Strit