LHC, CERN Has Found the Hugs Boson 86
An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school during his scholarship. Due to his , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any ."
Awwwwww (Score:4, Funny)
I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Re:Awwwwww (Score:4, Funny)
It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
That's because it is small enough to penetrate your skin, and it is currently opening a microscopic blackhole in your liver.
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Finally, a place to deposit all the ethanol, amphetamine, heroin or whatever is your drug of choice! Go, Hugs boson!
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It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So does plutonium.
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It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
What you have there is [[Blackbody Radiation][Acid Reflux][Cowboy Neil]].
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I don't know about you, but I love this new particle. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Classic symptoms of Hugs Boson poisoning.
This is just so not funny :( (Score:2)
There's really no point... (Score:3, Informative)
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It would be one thing if these supposed "jokes" were funny. Unfortunately, they are not. One has to question your sense of humor that you find even the stupidest of "jokes" to be funny. Let me guess, you roll over laughing at a guy getting kicked in the nuts, right?
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The jokes are often funny. The question is whether the /. summaries are.
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What? /. have new news!
This is the only day of the year that
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No, because one joke is okay but every single article today seems to be fake. I agree with #1, this is annoying. I smiled at the first joke, now I want actual news. There's tons of humor websites if I want nothing but jokes.
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It's only one day. Digg-readers have to put up with this shit for the rest of the year.
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I think it'd be a pretty good joke if for April 1st, The Onion only had accurate, serious coverage of real stories.
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Same reliable news as usual...
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There's really no point... ...in reading Slashdot today.
Derr. Cos, you know, Slashdot spends every April 1st at the height of it's journalistic value.
April Fools (Score:1)
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I'm waiting for the April Fools...
It looks like you're already there.
They found the Huge Bosom, eh? (Score:2)
How much does it weigh?
Re:They found the Huge Bison, eh? (Score:1)
An average bison might weigh 2000 pounds, so I'd imagine a Huge Bison would weigh at least double that.
Re:They found the Huge Bison, eh? (Score:5, Funny)
What about a Dyson Bison, a spherical-shell-shaped bison with a star in the center?
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I haven't giggled at /. in ages, but "Dyson Bison" did it for me. I love you.
Also, QOTD:
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. -- Thucydides
I guess doing them is one way.
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For now, all we have is a Nivin Bison, a bison ring around a star, which has been infested by Microsoft drones, so it isn't safe to go there any more.
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What exactly did you enjoy "as a reputable information source"? Slashdot?
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the editing feature turning what i once enjoyed as a reputable information source into something of juvenile amusement.
Next you'll say that "OMG Ponies!" [slashdot.org] wasn't the groundbreaking UI design that we all know it was.
Plagiarism. (Score:2, Funny)
RSS feed (Score:5, Informative)
These summaries are much more informative when read via RSS
An anonymous reader writes "In a ground-breaking announcement issued today, CERN NASA PETA NAMBLA , the European Organization of Nuclear Research (which hosts the enormous and magnificent glorious orgasmic catastrophic Large Hadron Collider) has announced the discovery of the hugs boson, an unexpected gauge boson which was not predicted prognosticated invented baked by the Standard Model. Unexpectedly, the discovery was made by a high-school mascot student teacher gymnasium during his scholarship. Due to his Tourette's age face breath , it is not clear whether he can be awarded the Nobel Prize. However, his teacher has generously agreed to be awarded in his name, in case of any problems reprisals assassins aliens ."
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Actually, this version made me laugh! Only on RSS feeds to you get down to the guts of the real April's fool.
Link in summary ... (Score:2)
... is NOT Goatse!
Or is it???
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April Fools....
When people with no sense of humor show their true colors. As if reading these stories causes any kind of problem.
Bravo (Score:1)
Okay this one was close enough to a real headline to make me forget it was April 1st and click on the story.
Damn you /. for making me think we'd made a real scientific breakthrough.
The Hugs Boson Is How Hadrons Get Their Mass (Score:1)
It can be embarrassing at times.
I liked (Score:2)
Indeed. There's only one problem (Score:2)
Reading Scientific American this month, I realised for the first time that the diameter of the Universe at the end of the proposed inflationary period was about 15mm. If someone put that in an April Fool, how many people would believe it, either way? "Early Universe expanded faster than the speed of light to the size of a grape".
They missed out (Score:5, Funny)
Hugs Bosom.
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Hugs Bosom.
nah, scientists are unlikely to find THAT particle...
NO hugging (Score:5, Funny)
Goddamnit (Score:1)
Re:Shat (Score:2)
What was William Shatner's reaction?
Enthusiastic responses (Score:2)
Klaus Fuchs and Vladimir Fock welcome the news, though they still hope a deeper penetration into the data.
Alien assasins! (Score:2)
What alien assassins want from an ordinary Tourettes suffering school mascot?
Hug bot (Score:2)
http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF115-Hug_Bot.jpg [pbfcomics.com]
I wonder... (Score:2)
Is it a reflection of the generally crappy editing in Slashdot headlines or my excessive gullibility that my heart skipped a beat in excitement as I read "Hugs Boson"?
I'm hoping it's the former, because I could really use a Hugs Boson today...
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It is funny to try to sneak one article in. That would be "cute" and everyone would go about their day. Most of us have slashdot in an rss just for news in tech - why waste a day of not posting anything? Besides the joke articles are lame.
If you read /. for tech news you are about a week or two behind the world.
Do I have to solve them all? (Score:2)
Deviant behavior in physics (Score:2)
It used to be that deviant behavior in physics involved "dirty dicking the 0-1 rod".
When I collide my large hardon... (Score:2)
When I collide my large hardon I sometimes get bosom hugs too.
Oh.... hadron...
I like mine better.
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Am I the only one (Score:1)
shit I'm gullible. (Score:1)