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Doctor Slams Hospital's "Please" Policy 572

Administrators at England's Worthing Hospital are insisting that doctors say the magic word when writing orders for blood tests on weekends. If a doctor refuses to write "please" on the order, the test will be refused. From the article: "However, a doctor at the hospital said on condition of anonymity that he sees the policy as a money-saving measure that could prove dangerous for patients. 'I was shocked to come in on Sunday and find none of my bloods had been done from the night before because I'd not written "please,"' the doctor said. 'I had no results to guide treatment of patients. Myself and a senior nurse had to take the bloods ourselves, which added hours to our 12-hour shifts. This system puts patients' lives at risk. Doctors are wasting time doing the job of the technicians.'"


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Doctor Slams Hospital's "Please" Policy

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:10AM (#32440904)
    Write, "Please stop sucking cock and do these blood tests, bitch!" :-) That includes the word please!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:15AM (#32440946)

    Do these fuckers not know of House?

    Also they're *doctors* writing documents for work. You don't need to add shit like please, thank you, or draw hearts instead of dots for your is for work. People are supposed to do things because it's their job to do things.

    "Excuse me Mr. Safety Inspector, why didn't you inspect this stuff?"

    "No one told me please. Accountability Motherfucker, do you know it?"

    Yeah, that's not gonna stand up in a court of law. Or maybe it will.

  • by Farmer Tim ( 530755 ) <roundfile.mindless@com> on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:18AM (#32440964) Journal

    Thanks for that.

  • by Cryacin ( 657549 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:25AM (#32441026)
    Or for opening a door for a lady. Depending on which day it is. Remember kids, odds open, evens don't!
  • Next one (Score:4, Funny)

    by kikito ( 971480 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:26AM (#32441034) Homepage

    Planes will not be allowed to move until the pilots say "Engage".

  • by Itninja ( 937614 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:29AM (#32441052) Homepage
    They should just get self-inking rubber stamps that say 'Please'.
  • by Lawbeefaroni ( 246892 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:31AM (#32441062) Homepage

    If a patient refuses to write "please" as they die, the death will be refused.

    In extreme cases, the Lazarus Engine will be employed.

    How could there be any liability issues?

  • by Rusty KB ( 1778458 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:33AM (#32441072)
    I dunno, I'm anxious to come and visit the US as soon as humanly possible. From this side of the pond it looks all it would take is pretty much anything you can scream loud enough about and there would be millions of dollars in lawsuits. I can't wait to visit your great country. My lungs are big, my throat is strong, and I can scream like a cicada. I'm gonna be rich!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:38AM (#32441100)

    I do find it insulting but in many situations I tend to overlook it.

    For example, if someone is being obsequious towards me because their job depends on it (like at a restaurant or bar), that is, to some degree, acceptable and even expected (sad that we expect/require people to act fake in certain situations).

    Situations that I find it completely unacceptable in, however, are ones that touch on issues of trust.. Like when a supposed friend wants something from you, but rather than simply cutting to the chase they beat around the bush and try to offer you something, anything, as if though it were a gift, so that when you accept it, you are placed into a position of obligation to provide them with what they initially wanted when it is later tactfully and subtly revealed to you. Some call that business, I call it a prime example of what a human should not be.

    What is sad though is that over the years, I have come to the conclusion that if you are only going to hang out with decent people that don't use these sort of tactics, you are going to be rather lonely. But, at least you'll know who you can trust and depend on.

    On another note... One sort of spin off / sidetrack way I am offended by this sort of pretend pandering is how so many companies make it a point to make all of their advertisements multicultural, it looks like the fucking village people you have cops, indians, firemen, construction workers, chinese people wearing the pointy round woven rice planting hat (seriously when the fuck have you seen someone wearing one of those in America? I mean, I live in America, and I own one, really, and I have NEVER seen another one in my life- and I have been actively looking), and of course a black lady in her 30s has to be somewhere in the mix. The JWs are infamous about this, seriously, next time you see one of their articles of literature lying around somewhere for free look at the pictures and if you cannot spot 7 different culturally stereotyped representatives I would be amazed. Who knows in 10 years they might have to add a furry to the mix.

  • by Z34107 ( 925136 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @01:50AM (#32441174)

    Or for opening a door for a lady. Depending on which day it is

    Very true. I err on the side of caution when it comes to holding the door open for people, but some manage to be offended by such a gesture.

    I held the door to my dorm for some chick late one night. After hours the doors require you to swipe your student ID to get in. It's a pain, so decent folk don't let the door swing shut after getting the reader to take their ID.

    She yelled something about "I can get it myself!" but she was kind of drunk, so I couldn't really understand her. She was angry, though, so I shut the door, and it locked.

    Turns out she forgot her ID. I have no idea how long she was standing outside. I think there's a moral in there somewhere.

  • by plover ( 150551 ) * on Thursday June 03, 2010 @02:00AM (#32441238) Homepage Journal

    Yes, the administrators are requiring it, but likely at the behest of the technicians. And the techs are enforcing it by not performing unless the order says "please". Kind of makes a mockery of the term "order" there, too.

    I imagine this is going on today.

    Original order: "Draw Mr. Smith's blood."
    Technician: "Denied, you didn't write the magic word."
    Revised order: "Draw Mr. Smith's blood by 9:00, and if you ever question my orders again I'll have your arse sacked."
    Technician: "Those are magic words. Here's your lab results."

  • by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @03:10AM (#32441608) Homepage Journal

    I'd fire someone for using a word like "abusiveness". No, better idea, I'd fire at him.

  • Solutions (Score:5, Funny)

    by DynaSoar ( 714234 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @04:14AM (#32441970) Journal

    1. Instead, write "This is an order, not a request."

    2. Put "Please tell me where you're going to be working next week if these are not done."

    3. Write "One of these id for a relative of yours, I believe."

    4. Approach both techs and admin and ask them, if they had gotten hurt on the grounds and were taken to their ER, would they expect to be treated in this way. Would they expect to not receive treatment after they came to Research.

    5. Circulate a memo stating that very soon all employees would be required to say please when asking for their salary check. ANd if it's not sincere or strong enough, they don't get paid. The eception is administration. They have to beg for theirs

  • by Rusty KB ( 1778458 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @04:46AM (#32442118)
    Stop!? WHY?!?!
  • by MadKeithV ( 102058 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @05:12AM (#32442220)
    He apologises for the inconvenience, though.
  • by laughingcoyote ( 762272 ) <barghesthowl AT excite DOT com> on Thursday June 03, 2010 @07:52AM (#32442856) Journal

    If I asked you to do a favor, like spelling "your" properly since this is not a teenage SMS message, would it help if I said please?

  • by u17 ( 1730558 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @08:56AM (#32443404)
    No, but it would help if you said "plz".
  • Writing... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Silly Man ( 15712 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @08:57AM (#32443420) Homepage Journal

    Must say 'please'...come on.

    Just require that they write legibly!

  • by MiniMike ( 234881 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @09:00AM (#32443442)

    The editors must have been told to 'check their sources before posting', not to 'Please check their sources before posting'.

  • by billy8988 ( 1049032 ) on Thursday June 03, 2010 @09:19AM (#32443630)

    Thank you /. for the story, I found another reason to ignore items in the requirements documents.
    Until they incorporate "please" in the RUP, I will be safe.

  • by billcopc ( 196330 ) <vrillco@yahoo.com> on Thursday June 03, 2010 @10:30AM (#32444444) Homepage

    "Most balanced" in the news industry is like "least retarded" in the special olympics. It's all relative...

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. -- Albert Einstein