Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts 202
Sue Williams has been awarded a £20,000 grant by the Arts Council of Wales, to "explore cultural attitudes towards female buttocks." Sue plans to examine racial attitudes towards bottoms in Europe and Africa and create plaster casts of women's behinds to try to understand their place in contemporary culture. And here I've been studying the issue all these years for free like a sucker!
Sir Begs-A-Lot (Score:5, Funny)
You other post-docs can't deny
That when a sponsor walks in with a stupid-ass proposal
A fat wallet at your disposal
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that purse was stuffed
Full of the cash you're needing
I'm hooked and I can't stop spending
Baby's got cash
Baby's got cash
Little in tha middle but she got big backers
Re: (Score:2, Troll)
Oh you, Sir, are a genius!
As for the artist... You mean I could have been being PAID to stare at womens asses all this time? Dang...
Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (Score:4, Funny)
http://www.mobileasses.com/ [mobileasses.com]
Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (Score:4, Funny)
The first grant offer was 20,000 pounds. The artist wasn't happy.
They had to UUH, double up, UUH UUH!
Re: (Score:2, Interesting)
Explore cultural attitudes?
There are some things I'd like to explore myself. But I expect it would be something along the lines of tactile variations and relative spherical dimensions, you know - more touchy-feely than pure academic.
What was the size of that grant? How many copies of King magazine can I buy with that?
Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (Score:4, Insightful)
Oh, look! The story's in The Sun.
Did they print 'er on Page 3?
Re: (Score:2)
Explore cultural attitudes?
There are some things I'd like to explore myself. But I expect it would be something along the lines of tactile variations and relative spherical dimensions, you know - more touchy-feely than pure academic.
What was the size of that grant? How many copies of King magazine can I buy with that?
Yeah, nothing like putting the finger on the problem.
Please tell me... (Score:4, Funny)
Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.
Re: (Score:2)
I think the P.H.D. study is another program altogether. But you are welcome to apply.
There is one! (Score:2, Funny)
Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.
It's in the Astronomy class. Look under the topic of Uranus.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Look under the topic of Uranus.
Didn't they change the name to Urectum??
Re: (Score:2)
Uranus .... is that close to Venus??
Be careful what you ask for... (Score:3, Insightful)
Remember when you were a kid? I bet you'd have loved to go to computer camp. Now that you work in computers, you'd never go to computer camp on your vacation; you'd go to a resort that gives you opportunities to go outside and play.
I've been on a couple of paleontology digs. It's really cool hauling sacks of dirt for a few days, tolerable for a few weeks. Other tasks have different charm half-lives. Hiking through the badlands prospecting for bones that have washed out is probably has the longest appe
Re:Be careful what you ask for... (Score:5, Insightful)
If your job was looking at asses all day long, I bet you'd want to spend your vacation in a monastery.
I have to disagree. I understand your general point, but we're talking about getting paid to stare at butts. You know, butts! Those things we'd stare at 24/7 if we didn't have to take a break to eat! I've gotten tired of sports, of programming, and of listening to music, but never in my life have I thought, "you know, I've seen too many butts today." I'm not even sure if that's correct grammar because my brain has trouble parsing it. Forget the sound of one hand clapping. How many butts are too many? The question is meaningless!
Re: (Score:2)
...you'd want to spend your vacation...
Vacation? Finally, a job where I am willing to work plenty of overtime hours!
Changing profession (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
uh....I git cameltoes!
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
orrr
git commit -a -m "study of cameltoes"?
Artist getting to the bottom of it (Score:5, Funny)
Hey! Somebody had to say it!
Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sure this researcher doesn't appreciate being the butt of your joke.
Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (Score:4, Funny)
It won't end well.
Re: (Score:2)
I assume the worst.
Re: (Score:2)
I assume the worst.
well it is depressing where the sun don't shine
Re: (Score:2)
You people are really making asses of yourselves.
Re: (Score:2)
Damn it, pun threads are for Reddit!
Re: (Score:2)
I'm sure this researcher doesn't appreciate being the butt of your joke
He'd better get used to it. This is an assinine study.
Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (Score:4, Funny)
The worst I've seen in many moons.
Re: (Score:2)
You gotta admit though, the subject matter deserves to be anal-ized...
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
But I'm sure she'll turn the other cheek.
I can't believe I'm actually encouraging one of these threads...
Re: (Score:2)
That's OK, she'll get over it when she presents her findings at the big opening.
Re: (Score:2)
The researcher doesn't appreciate that crack either.
Re: (Score:2)
I'm fairly sure he's more interested in the study subject itself than what he could get out of it...
(ok, that joke's better in German...)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Kari Byron's debut (Score:4, Insightful)
Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?
Re: (Score:2, Informative)
Yeeeeah..... one of the greatest episodes of Mythbusters.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykhSLNlx3n0
0m 19sec....
Re: (Score:2)
I've got a theory (Score:5, Funny)
My theory is there is a relationship between butts and breasts:
Women with the nicest butts have smaller breasts.
Women with larger breasts have pudgier butts.
Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have fake breasts.
My guess on the outcome of the study is that all straight men like looking at women's butts.
That'll be 20k please. :)
Re:I've got a theory (Score:4, Interesting)
That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.
Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.
I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.
Re:I've got a theory (Score:5, Funny)
One out of 3 ain't bad?
Re:I've got a theory (Score:4, Informative)
I don't know, but I've been told: it's big-legged women who are soulless.
Re: (Score:2)
Wrong - it's an *educated* guess. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against trying to confirm something that everyone already "knows".
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.
Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.
I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.
mundane........ sheeesh only on slashdot
Re: (Score:2, Interesting)
Interesting fact: none of those things were ever widely believed.
People have know the Earth was spherical since ancient times. Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another cont
Re:I've got a theory (Score:4, Informative)
Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another continent in the way.
For one, that was fairly late, past the dark ages. Two, there was still a vocal minority (end of the 15th century!) that claimed he'd fall off the edge. Lately, the division of the world between Spain and Portugal that was made by the pope only works on the assumption of a flat earth, if you care to check it out. On a spherical world, you need two border lines, not one.
Nobody (in the Christian west, at least) ever believed women have no souls. We're talking about a time when people practically worshipped the Virgin Mary. She was a woman, remember?
Yes, as the vessel of the birth, not as herself. You can do the research yourself, I assure you the topic was under hot discussion by the so-called "intelligentia" of the time (aka priests).
Nobody but children ever believed that heaven was just above the clouds.
Weird, we have a lot of pictures that speak a different language, and art history experts say they weren't meant metaphorical in the sense we understand today.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I believe you are giving our ancestors more credit than they are due with the "heavens" thing.
We have quite solid linguistic and historic evidence that abstract thinking of the kind we consider normal today is a relatively recent invention, definitely not made before the greeks (and thus after most of the old testament). Ancient man was very much "grounded in reality" in his speech and thoughts. For example, the "burning bush" part is almost certainly a hallucination, not a metaphor.
I do agree that the mean
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.
Gravity might be important but I'm comfortable letting it do what its going to do. Women's butts on the other hand, well God made them for me to enjoy staring at and who am I to disobey God.
People still don't know if women have souls, or if heaven isn't above the clouds and probably will never confirm it with an experiment. That would be a great research project: guaranteed funding for life.
Re: (Score:2)
That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.
I can confirm his finds. I have studied these things extensively.
Re: (Score:2)
Unless i see proof in person of these specimens you talk about, i can't accept your theory.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have boyfriends.
There's the real problem :(
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
I don't care about all that. All I want to know is where do I sign up to be a part of the data gathering team?
I've got moderator points (Score:5, Funny)
Plaster? (Score:4, Interesting)
I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans. I just don't see how plaster can do the job nearly as well given how gravity affects both plaster molding and human parts. The mass of the plaster can also affect how it molds a shape.
I believe the thought process has eluded you (Score:4, Funny)
I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans
You don't get to spread lasers on thousands of female rear ends by hand.
WANTED: Volunteers to ASSist in research (Score:2)
Please, please... (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Please, please... (Score:5, Funny)
You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at
This is my biggest fear, meaning to say something serious about a butt in the UK and getting laughed at.
Guide to British English (Score:5, Informative)
The British, by the way, imagine Japanese to be a language full of double meanings and potential minefields.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
A couple of modifications;
I've never heard fanny mean arse over here (SE England/London).
I have heard bum to mean a person who is a waste of space as well.
Also have heard arse to mean someone disapproved of.
Re: (Score:2)
Hence the US term "fannypack", which has mildly amusing connotations if you're British (over here they're referred to as "bum bags").
Similar transatlantic confusion regarding "prat". "Prat" in the US beans "buttock region", hence the US comedy term "pratfall", which is to fall on your arse in a comedic manner.
But "prat" in the UK is again gynaecological. However, the UK meaning has become a b
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
"Fanny magnet".
A fanny magnet is something that attracts women (as in, "Check out my new car, its a real fanny-magnet!").
Obviously, "fanny magnet" only makes sense with the UK meaning of "fanny" as being something specific to women.
Re: (Score:2)
And despite it's negative connotations, you can quite freely call your best mate a c**t over here - it's almost a term of friendship in some parts of south London...
Re: (Score:2)
I never heard of Quant before, sounds suspiciously like the etymological root for C**t. However am I the only one who thinks that the existence of that meaning for Quant means all the headlines about the financial Quants screwing up the economy become puns?
Re: (Score:2)
Quaint is used to mean charmingly odd or unfamiliar: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/quaint [thefreedictionary.com]
Re: (Score:2)
So if we take the film "Carry on up the Khyber [wikipedia.org]" (a film stuffed with double-entendres) and translate the title:
"Khyber" = "Khyber Pass [wikipedia.org]" (a strategic location on what's now the Afghan-Pakistan border)
= "arse".
I stand corrected. (Score:2)
As a sign of how far backwards we've gone, when the Miller tells his story "everybody" laughs at it except the Carpenter - including a nun and her retinue, a monk and two church officials. Today, Rupert Murdoch won't allow "toilet talk" in his tabloids
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
And I thought we already had an application in Facebook called "Dream buttockses (for men only)" or something!
There's no honor (Score:5, Funny)
I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces.
If anything, differences in skin, religion and culture intensify our bond as we admire in reverend awe every single instance. (However, when our duties are accomplished we might take up where we left and proceed with cracking each other's sculls.)
Now I shall drink tea whilst adopting the erected wee finger position.
To women's backsides we all cheer hooray!
Re: (Score:2)
admire in reverend awe every single instance.
Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
admire in reverend awe every single instance.
Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.
The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind. Shape of the derriere, the transition to and coherence with other body parts can make my charisma grow like a mountain flower in spring.
Free yourself from the tyranny of the motion picture industry! The truth induced on you by them simply isn't. Appreciate the female behind by considering all shapes and forms. And contemplate many, many s
Re: (Score:2)
The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind.
Certainly I did not say what you imply that I said...
Re: (Score:2)
Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain:
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
"I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces."
Its one of the things that lets me remain optimistic that there is indeed, still hope in our world.
No matter how politically correct the world gets, no matter how relentless the indoctrination of gender respect and overall metrosexualization of our culture generally...men are ultimately men.
In any context, from the most blue-collar industrial
That is about 1600 lap dances (Score:3, Funny)
Gives new meaning to study abroad (Score:4, Funny)
Economy (Score:4, Funny)
I believe this is what the call a stimulus package... or do I have that backwards? :P
Psychophysiology of Gluteal Recognition? (Score:5, Funny)
When I was a pimply, hormone-addled teen going thru puberty, I could identify every female in my high school, from behind, at a distance of up to a quarter mile.
Despite the prevalence of ultra-tight acid-washed jeans in the early 80's, my skill didn't rely solely on shape, oh no. A detailed analysis of cyclic ambulatory gluteal displacement was key to identification.
I thought I was the only one who had this talent, until much later when I learned it is actually common. (Same goes for the "mental VCR," aka spankbank, but that's another story.)
Is this going to be a part of the study?
This is the kind of research I can get behind! (Score:2)
Ahem.
No Asians? (Score:2)
I find the exclusion of Asian buttocks interesting, but understandable given the absence of booty on the typical Asian female.
Here [flickr.com] is a representative example.
I could have done this in 10 seconds. (Score:4, Funny)
Black guys like the biggest asses. White guys like smaller asses. Asian guys like the smallest asses.
Can I have 20K now?
LK
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Then why are the best high jumpers white (male or female)?
I would think that jumping high uses the front of the thigh more, while running uses the buttocks and
the back of the thigh more.
Re: (Score:2)
Possibly because there are more participants in track and that's a highly specialized skill.
In any case, there isn't any any single skill you can call "jumping". A body ideal for stuffing a basketball isn't necessarily ideal for the high jump. That said, jumping in general favors slim but strong people with well balanced development. There's also definitely a "weak link" effect; if your powerful buttocks drive their force through a weak calf, you end up losing power. When I competed in Chinese martial
I wonder (Score:2)
I wonder if he'll manage to make that a boring subject.
"Gosh! Butt's test again! I'm sick of this subject!"
He'll be the 'butt' of many jokes ... (Score:2, Funny)
But is it art? (Score:2)
Comment removed (Score:4, Informative)
this is rather old (Score:2)
http://assmatrix.com/ [assmatrix.com] This fellow has been spearheading ass based research for the past 10 years.
Re:what?!? (Score:5, Funny)
This just keeps getting better!
Re: (Score:2, Informative)
Re:1992 is calling... (Score:5, Funny)
And it's been peer-reviewed. The other brothers can't deny.
Re: (Score:2)
True Dat.... Anaconda and all. :)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Because it's for SCIENCE!!! You know, Buttology! Er, Assology? Derrieratrics? Hmm....
-Mike
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)