Amateurs Are Trying Genetic Engineering At Home

the_kanzure points out this AP story on amateur genetic engineering, excerpting: "The Apple computer was invented in a garage. Same with the Google search engine. Now, tinkerers are working at home with the basic building blocks of life itself. Using homemade lab equipment and the wealth of scientific knowledge available online, these hobbyists are trying to create new life forms through genetic engineering a field long dominated by Ph.D.s toiling in university and corporate laboratories." Reader resistant has a few ideas about how to use this sort of lab: "Personally, I'd like to whip up a reasonably long-lasting and durable paint made with dye based on squid genes that glows brightly enough to allow 'guide lines' to be daubed along hallway baseboards, powered by a very low trickle of electricity. Plus, a harmless glowing yogurt would make for a cool prank."

Laugh now, but

[unassimilatible]

I have a plan and you all will soon bow down before me:

1) Create perfect woman in petri dish
2) First /.'er to lose virginity
3) Patent troll
4) ?
5) Profit

Minature pandas

[pomegranatesix]

If I could get my hands on some panda DNA, I'd genetically engineer a mini-panda about the size of a guinea pig or hamster for the pet market.
In one fell swoop, I will have saved a species from extinction AND become a billionaire!

Re:Minature pandas

[Shikaku]

Why not a panda with 6 asses?

Looks like Stephen King got it wrong...

[letchhausen]

The basis for his book The Stand will come out of someone's garage and not a military lab. Unfortunately, people like these probably won't have good documentation for the Hazmat team to use after the "incident". The good side is that the opportunities to get rid of surplus population has risen. There are an awful lot of people on this planet.

Been doing it for years

[eggman9713]

I have been doing genetic engineering for years and am quite an expert at it. Anyone can do it! Just stand on the streetcorner in a revealing getup and ask for money.

What does Bart have to say about this?

[Gocho]

Bart: "How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?"
Mrs. Krabappel: "I'm sorry, that would be playing God."
Bart: "God-schmod, I want my monkey man."

Re:What could possibly go wrong?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm reminded of the breeders who purportedly tried to create a more sweet natured camel by incorporating lama genes in the camel genotype. The story is that they ended up with a vile tempered lama.

Thank you for that short biography on Osama bin Laden.

Re:Garage Credibility

[Arancaytar]

Hey now, some of the best zombie apocalypses started out as garage or backyard projects!

Re:Is this legal?

[Anonymous Coward]

Damn straight! Today the mad scientist can't genetically engineer a race of mutant supermen in their garage, tomorrow it's the mad grad student! Where will it end?

Re:Laugh now, but

[TheRaven64]

You can't patent trolls, there's too much prior art.

Also, I'm fairly sure 'trying genetic engineering at home' is a euphemism for something...

marajumatos

[Anonymous Coward]

Simple: THC in tomatoes. Might mix things up a bit.

Re:Looks like Stephen King got it wrong...

[jftitan]

I had an ant farm, and those fuckers didn't grow shit! -Mitch

Re:Been doing it for years

[houghi]

You are aware that at least one of you has to be female, right?

Re:Minature pandas

[pomegranatesix]

What do pandas eat?
Bamboo.
What does bamboo have a lot of?
Fiber.
There's your reason for why you don't want a panda with 6 asses. You don't want them running around your house, shitting 6 times as efficiently.

Re:Minature pandas

[pomegranatesix]

I get the uneasy feeling that this is how the whole Pokemon saga started...