How To Cut In Line and Not Get Caught 256
ewenc writes "A psychology study of hundreds of people waiting for front-row access to U2 concerts points to the best ways to cut in line and not get caught. 'Super-fans' are most irked by queue-jumpers. People were equally peeved whether someone cut in front or behind, and cutters who jumped beside a friend were less likely to attract scorn."
Just what we needed.. (Score:5, Insightful)
Oh great!
Now science is coming to the aid of line-cutters everywhere.. Though I'm usually not the type of person willing to wait in line for hours (regardless of the reason), seeing someone cutting into a line (however short it may be) really pisses me off.
It's one of those tell-tale things about a person's character. It implies, at the least, that the line-cutter lacks civility, or simply couldn't care less for "social norms". At the most, it's a sign of someone who simply thinks the "rules" do not apply to them, and everything that can get them ahead is fair game. In the latter case, it's also often accompanied with smugness: "stupid idiots waiting in line."
Sure, cutting a line is by no means a serious offense. And in most cases these lines are purely informal, so one could make the argument that cutting the line is a simple display of expedience, and that no rules have been broken.. But seeing as though many of society's rules are entirely unwritten (and often unspoken), such attitude is disruptive to say the least. Not trying to spread FUD here, but it's the kind of thing that when widespread, brings nothing but chaos into even the most simple of things.
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Agreed. It irks me to no end when people do this while driving.
In fact, I deal with it daily on my commute home. There's a section of road where the two lanes merge into one, with the right lane ending. I cannot count the number of times that I've seen someone rushing along in the right lane trying to get as far ahead as they can before they're *forced* to merge (by which I mean they try and force the people in the left lane to let them in).
There are *plenty* of signs warning tha
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Traffic would flow faster for everyone, including yourself, if you stopped doing that.
Optimal lane merging [blogspot.com]
Curing lane-merge traffic jams [trafficwaves.org] and FAQ [trafficwaves.org]
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If we've drifted off into the territory of anti-social annoyances:
Remember that parking directly in front of the entrance to a gas station convenience store in what is normally a fire lane is OK so long as you're driving an Escalade, just running in real quick, too drunk to find a proper parking spot, or need to get scratch tickets. Also, if you buy scratch tickets make certain you scratch all 20 of them right at the counter like your own private casino, regardless of how many customers may be waiting behi
Re:Just what we needed.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Just what we needed.. (Score:5, Interesting)
Maybe a little more that a tutting. My favorite queue jumping story is here:
http://ask.metafilter.com/104881/Standing-In-Line#1516290 [metafilter.com]
Re:Just what we needed.. (Score:5, Interesting)
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And I bet that guy never tried to cut in line again... problem solved!
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In Soviet Russia line cuts you?
Close enough ;)
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I could have pushed in front of anyone and no one would have minded as long as I pasted the time of day.
Aggression has a t
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What if a whole line tried cutting? (Score:5, Interesting)
Suppose you're standing in line, and suddenly a whole line of people just slides into place right next to your line - at least as long as your line, in parallel, and apparently planning to enter into the venue in parallel.
Do you object? Do you assume that a second line has been "officially" been opened and you just missed out?
What if the new line of people has a lot more people than your line, and they start looking over at your line and saying "Hey - get to the back of the line! No cutting!" Does a fight break out - even if your line is obviously going to lose?
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What happens is a huge cluster f@*k, and I usually see two to five accidents a week in my 14 mile commute.
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Didn't we just do that on Nov 4th?
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Suppose you're standing in line, and suddenly a whole line of people just slides into place right next to your line -
I actually saw this happen at a sports fair. There was a really long line for an autograph tent that went about 30 yards away, ran into a fence and folded back on itself all the way to the front. At some point a couple of guys tried to jump the line and in the confusion that ensued the whole end half of the line just turned and made a new line. Those of us who waited for an hour to get near the front were fairly pissed. No fight though.
As to why in the world I was in line for an autograph - it wasn't my
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Nip it in the bud. Tell him (or her) the line begins behind you. If the guy standing there is pretending not to hear you, you put your hand on his chest and tell him one more time that the line is behind you. Then you shove him backwards with all your might. If you're good, you can get him to the back of the line in one push. If he fights back, you usually can count on your fellow liners to help you out.
If you're a guy and the person cutting the line is a hot girl, you're probably not going to win. Take adv
Full study results (Score:5, Funny)
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For full study results, see this month's Journal of American Douchebag Studies.
I love that journal!
-Taylor
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The best way (Score:5, Funny)
is to pretend you're doing a study on line cutting, and interview someone near the front just as they start letting people in. Then release an actual study to prevent reprisals. Then profit?
Re:The best way (Score:4, Insightful)
Actually, you start your interviewing at the back of the line, moving forward as you go. Everyone knows you are just interviewing. Time it so that you are at the front when the gates open and just go in, continuing the current interview.
Makes no difference (Score:2, Insightful)
Generally, I have more important things to care about than if I have to wait an extra minute and a half because 3 people just got in front of me.
If I'm in line, then I just expect to wait and wait it out. -5 or +5 minutes in a 60 minute wait doesn't make a difference to me... I would rather stand there and zone out into Willy Wonka land and be happy.
Now in a situation where I'm not expecting to wait, it is much more frustrating. For example if I step up to order a hamburger, and the cashier decides to step
Re:Makes no difference (Score:5, Insightful)
Generally, I have more important things to care about than if I have to wait an extra minute and a half because 3 people just got in front of me.
Agreed.
How do you feel if its already been an hour, the line up is half way around the block, and people at the back will take an hour just to reach the position you are at now; and there is probably 50+ people and another half our so to wait in front of you.
And then over that period, half a dozen groups of 5+ show up and join their various friends in front of you (we're talking couples meeting other couples, or groups of friends meeting other groups of friends -- not a boyfriend joining his wife, or the driver joining his group after parking here. This effectively adds another 30 people in front of you, pushing you back another 30 minutes, while speeding them up about an hour and a half.
It gets ridiculous, and infuriating.
I remember when the Wii and PS3 were selling out at launch and people were lining up. Some stores instituted one of the best trends I've ever seen to defeat this, and some lines even SELF ORGANIZED into doing this; they had someone give out numbers to the people as they arrived. One person got one number. (And they were limiting it to one unit per customer.) So if a group sends someone over to line up a 1am, and then his 5 friends showed up at 5 minutes to opening, they couldn't effectively cut in and score a Wii or PS3 while guys that had been there for hours lost out entirely.
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This effectively adds another 30 people in front of you, pushing you back another 30 minutes, while speeding them up about an hour and a half.
It gets worse when people start to give birth.
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It gets worse when people start to give birth.
Oh well. At least you were there for the conception.
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Actually, human gestation takes significantly longer than 30 minutes...
What? How much longer? Then where the hell did all of these kids come from?
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Generally, I have more important things to care about than if I have to wait an extra minute and a half because 3 people just got in front of me.
and when those three people in front of you buy the last six tickets to the concert you were lining up for (or what ever item of scarcity you were waiting in line for), how do you feel about it then?
Instant Cut Priveleges (Score:5, Insightful)
Everyone knows there are a few ways to cut a line that work every time:
1) be in a wheelchair,
2) be carrying a screaming baby,
3) have "credentials" of some kind.
So if you have a press pass and a screaming baby and you're in a wheelchair, in theory you should be able to cut the restroom line in the last game of the world series, Boston at NYY, wearing a Boston hat, without getting a second look.
Re:Instant Cut Priveleges (Score:4, Funny)
When I was a kid at Six Flags I used to yell MOM! at the top of my lungs until I got towards the front of the line. Worked like a champ. I've changed it to calling out my kids names and asking if someone has seen my 8 year old, about yea high, etc etc... Sometimes I get called on it but it's usually worth the risk.
Re:Instant Cut Priveleges (Score:5, Insightful)
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Maybe his name is Dick.
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IMHO... (Score:5, Funny)
Just because you had government sponsored dickery training and license at one time does not make it right.
It just makes your dickery portfolio thicker with dickery experience unavailable to the average "civilian" dick.
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It just makes your dickery portfolio thicker
I think we all know girth is important when being a dick.
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Officer of the year for a Metro Atlanta law enforcement agency during the Olympics
Did you get to be officer of the year by lying and cheating too? Seriously ,exploiting the good nature of others for your personal gain is something you're proud of??
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huh, a cop that thinks he is better then anyone else, who would of thunk it~
At least your skill would prevent any bombing from happening~
you poor excuse for a limp wristed cum stain.
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Maybe that you should stop being a dick instead of being proud of it?
Says someone who has a homonym for "Phallus" in his username. (:
Re:Instant Cut Priveleges (Score:5, Informative)
4) Be a boobie-having female. Cut in front of a single guy, possibly after making eye contact and smiling slightly.
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Which would make a World Series between the two of them that much more amazing...
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That reminds me.. I didn't see enough footage to tell for sure, but on Election Day, there was footage of Sarah Palin going to vote. It sure *seemed* like she cut in front of a whole bunch of people in line. While I realize it's "expected" in that kind of scenario, I think it would have been hilarious for someone to have yelled out something like "just for cutting ahead of me, I'm not voting for you."
(But I guess not many voted for them anyway.. ba dum psh!)
Umm.. No shit? (Score:3, Insightful)
I think i learned this in high school when waiting to buy stuff at lunch. See a friend? Go say hi, start talking, act like you're not going to buy anything, and then when your friend gets to the front, look kind of surprised and "decide" to order something. Or instead, say "thanks for saving my spot", which people somehow value as a legitimate line technique. At a concert, try "hey man, wow, it took me forever to find parking!".
Now give me my god damn nobel prize.
What the hell is it with "researchers" doing projects that i figured out in high school?
-Taylor
Re:Umm.. No shit? (Score:4, Insightful)
Becasue your one little piece of life is nothing more then an anecdote?
Everybody knew things fell to the ground before Newton, did he waste his time?
Sorry about anon, apparently having a few actual interesting stories(to me) happen at once means your going to hit the limit pretty damn quick.
So he's right... (Score:2)
Becasue your one little piece of life is nothing more then an anecdote?
You realize that their ENTIRE study consisted of a U2 fan going to ONE U2 concert and ASKING the people in line how they felt about cutting and how big of fans they were?
That's not a study. That's a poll of statistically insignificant sample size. At least the guy who went to high school collected data over 4 years.
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Yes I was, and it's on data point..not even a strong one.
I doubt he collected data. He is probably remembering, and memory or really, really fallible.
not just fallible, but easy to manipulate as well.
My point is that his study was poor, at best. Certainly not as good as this poll...assuming the immediatly recorded the responses.
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You must have gone to a school full of pussies. You'd have been bashed at the school I went to for such a violation. From then on, you'd carry around the badge of being a wanker. Sure, you might think that being called a wanker once or twice wouldn't hurt. But that badge would be with you for the rest of your time at high school.
Don't fuck with the playground rules.
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Best method of cutting without getting caught: (Score:5, Insightful)
Murder everyone else in line.
You may get caught for the murders, but no one will ever know you cut in line.
Re:Best method of cutting without getting caught: (Score:5, Funny)
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You may get caught for the murders, but no one will ever know you cut in line.
Depends. Do you murder with a knife?
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Depends. Do you murder with a knife?
Naw, man. For one if the line's of any length worth cutting it's going to be quite tiring and time consuming and the whole point of the exercise is laziness and impatience. For two unless you're already Chuck Norris or Shaq a knife isn't exactly an overwhelming weapon, and if I get smacked down by some big line-dweller I'm going to jail for the stabbings, and they'll know I tried to cut in line. That's just humiliating.
No. I find a rocket launcher or an M60 works very
Just imagine... (Score:2)
...how much more effective your bullets would be - if you used a gun. You could take out up to 5 people with a single bullet.
On the other hand you might be able to take out the entire line with only a couple of explosive thingies.
Slamming into the line with a combine harvester would also prove rather effective I presume.
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Summed up how I feel (Score:3, Funny)
The Implicit Line Code (Score:5, Insightful)
When I was at school there was an implicit code among students in which you could let all your friends get in the line AS LONG AS IT WAS IN FRONT OF YOU. Teachers couldn't understand how every student was fine with that, but since everyone accepted it and everyone benefited from it from time to time nobody ever complained.
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I was just thinking about that the other day. It seemed so illogical that I thought that maybe it was a false memory, just idea that I had that never actually happened. I remember the "solution" too. Cut in front of your friend, and then let your friend immediately cut in front of you.
Best queue jumping story (Score:5, Funny)
Best queue jumping story so far [metafilter.com].
Learning to wait (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Learning to wait (Score:4, Interesting)
Damn, that's sad. Any bets that kid is going to grow up into a real mess?
I have my own Pirates line story, oddly enough - it was a several hour wait in the hot summer sun. I was a youngster with my family, and a young couple was slowly cutting their way past everyone in line. My dad was the only one who didn't let them pass. After a few minutes, they tried to slip past us *again*. This time, my dad verbally unloaded both barrels on them, and they backed down for good.
I was pretty impressed with my Dad for standing up for what he thought was the right thing, and not caring if it made a bit of a scene. A few people came up to him later and thanked him (while some others shied well away from him). Honestly, I'll bet most of the people who let them slip by wished they were able to do what my dad did - many likely figured like you did that they were meeting someone.
Article suggestions another possibility (Score:5, Funny)
The article references "line Nazis" who mark everyone's hand with their position in line.
Obviously, you write a "1" on your hand, walk to the front of the line, then walk back along the line counting people. 30 peole back, you write "31" on someone's hand, hand them a marker and tell them to work their way backwards while you work your way forwards. You get to the front of the line, write "2" on the first guy's hand, nod with satisfaction at a job well done, and turn to face front.
If anyone objects, you just show them your hand...
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Obviously First-world problem (Score:5, Funny)
Cuting in line a problem? Ha! In South America we don't have such problem, as there aren't any lines. We replace a long period of diciplined standing time with a short period of mayhem until you get through the gate.
First Post!!!!1111 (Score:4, Funny)
Hey somebody cut!
Part of a series of how-to articles (Score:2)
Including most enlighteningly: "How to pay for concert tickets with grant money and not get caught."
Queueing even to be shot (Score:2, Interesting)
Ten years or so ago I bought an advance-purchase ticket to attend the London Boat Show. I arrived early. Together with many other overly-keen boat geeks, I was marshalled by an official into an ever-growing queue of advance-purchase ticket holders awaiting the opening of the gates. The queue was kept 30 yards off to one side to allow access to the ticket booths for those buying their tickets on the day. The many gates duly opened but our queue was kept in line and stationary by the uniformed official.
Deserves an award (Score:2)
I can think of only one award prestigious [slashdot.org] enough for this research.
Re:Deserves an award... doh (Score:2)
Balls, I so much for not actually checking the links in the preview.
improbable.com [improbable.com]
think tactically (Score:4, Interesting)
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Good ol' civilized bribery~
"..because" (Score:2)
I remember reading that if you make vocal contact, and add a reason "..because XYZ" - people are more than likely to let you proceed.
If you just arrive and slot in without saying a word, you've created a hostile situation - it's easy to be irritated at a stranger.
However, if you approach, make contact:
"Hi - would you mind if I drop in, because I've got a taxi waiting / I just had to fill in this form / etc" - even if they're not happy about it, most people can't bring themselves to be bluntly rude to someon
Funny, it didn't work so well for me. . . (Score:2)
When I told the guy he should let me in "because I'm better than you. . .".
What would really be useful... (Score:2)
...is if they could have convinced all the students at Newcomb Hall Pavillion XI not to "save seats" by placing their bookbags at tables. This resulted in long duration "occupancy" times of seats there, with a portion of the "occupancy" comprising a time where the seat was "occupied" by... a bookbag! I've never actually modeled it, but it seems like when the dining area was particularly crowded, it would suddenly "flash over" and you end up with poor students who refuse to engage in this unethical practic
easier than you think (Score:3, Interesting)
Cutting in line is easier than most people think. As long as you act normal and confident, virtually no one in our docile society will want to start an almost assuredly unpleasant confrontation.
First, don't get the impression that I'm someone who normally cuts in line. I'm the kind of person who, unless instructed otherwise, would probably wait patiently in an emergency room holding my own freshly-severed leg until called upon by a nurse or doctor. Now with that pleasant qualification out of the way...
The only time in my life I've ever intentionally cut in line was when I went with a group of four people to a night club. It was the only time I've ever been to a night club, in fact, and it must have been a pretty popular one because there were people lined up for about two blocks waiting to get in. But the guy who brought us there took one look at the line and said, "follow me." I knew what he was about to do, but I didn't feel it was right and was skeptical we'd get away with it anyhow. With all the people and the bouncers and probably even video cameras, we'd not simply be able to cut in line and not have anyone notice.
But cut we did. And we didn't just skip half the line or 3/4 of it, we went all the way to the front. I was waiting for one of the bouncers to say, "hey, you guys weren't here a second ago," but they never said anything. Waved their metal detectors around, stamped us all on the hand and let us in. After we were apparently in, I started wondering how the @#$% we just pulled that off. I can only imagine that it's because we didn't draw attention to ourselves and we didn't look suspicious whilst executing the cut. Perhaps because we acted like we were supposed to be cutting in line, everyone else assumed that we were entitled to. Like VIPs or something. Who knows.
By the time we were ready to leave, the line had moved forward enough that we would have been about 10 feet from the entrance had we stayed in line.
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Funny)
It might look like I'm writing a reply to this post, but actually I'm just trying to get as close to the top of the page as possible.
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Funny)
And I'm jumping in beside a friend. It's less likely to attract scorn.
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PS: Some mod points wont go astray though, it will help us all get ahead
G
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Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Interesting)
Basic research doesn't always have immediate applications. Studying the psychology and sociology of lines is a hot topic among retailers though. How do you get people to line up like cattle and still have them feel like they're being treated reasonably well, and fairly? At least well enough that they come back. How does our society react to cheaters? The answer determines how many (and what kind) of cheaters will tend to exist. Are there differences between cultures or does our sense of fairness have some component that is innate to all humans?
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Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Informative)
When I was in Spain I noticed that the Spanish don't know how to form lines. It drives the Brits nuts. Spaniards kind of flock, which completely disturbs the nice orderly line that the British want to form.
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:4, Insightful)
Why does research have to have an immediately obvious purpose? I'm sure there have been millions of discoveries made by people just "messing around" with some aspect of science. This sort of thing is great in my opinion. If we only funded research that could be justified as "useful" the world would be a much more boring place.
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:4, Interesting)
While it wasn't scientific research like this, your post reminds me of Velcro, which was invented after George de Mestral looked at burrs caught in his dog's hair.
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
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Because there are people like me who want to cut in front of people like rather than waiting 40 minutes for the best damn burrito in a 50 mile radius AND I don't want you getting mad at me for cutting in. ROFL
But seriously, there are probably immediate applicaiotns for this research. I lucked out at a car rental place and showed just before 20 other people. It was a long wait for those behind me. While I was waiting to go up, a platinum m
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If we only funded research that could be justified as "useful" the world would be a much more boring place.
Unfortunately, this is pretty much how the current scientific funding systems work. Mainly because grant funding is administered by small-minded fools in government, who haven't the faintest grasp of the truth of your statement.
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can anyone explain a possible application for this research, other than acting like a prick?
Better understanding of group mentality and the human psyche. Seems more worthwhile to me than developing a more powerful bomb. Then again, I am just a bleeding heart liberal.
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Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Funny)
no application, they just cut in line when the gov was handing out research grants
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Yes. It's actually a study in the annoyance level of useless research studies. You'll be receiving your cohort survey shortly.
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Interesting)
Another way to look at this is as disturbing a stable system to learn about it. People line up in queues everywhere, and do it without even thinking. This generates several interesting questions: Why? (is it a learned action?) What causes people to dislike it when people cut?(from individual standpoints, someone cutting in line behind you doesn't affect you at all) Why do some people cut in line, and others wait in line? By watching what happens when these lines get undermined, you can learn a bit about why they're created, as well as the respective thought processes.
The point of the research is to try to understand the whole queueing process, not to learn how to be a dick.
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Well here in the SF area we have a system called FastTrack for going through bridge toll points without stopping using an electronic pass.
During peak hours the system gets jammed due to non-FastTrack drivers abusing the open lane to cut in line.
The system directors need this sort of study to understand that it is a serious problem that can create road-rage in addition to delays. And traffic engineers need to systematically analyze the behavior to determine what sort of countermeasures are needed to control
Re:And the reward for most useless researcher goes (Score:5, Funny)
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Best. Deadpan. Ever.
Re:Call in a bomb threat (Score:5, Funny)
Oddly enough, when I read the title "How To Cut In Line and Not Get Caught", the first thing I thought was, "Does it involve explosions?".
The best way to cut in line without getting caught is to create a diversion, though I'll admit that explosions around a large crowd are probably not a good idea.... Controlled pyrotechnics, might do it, however, e.g. smoke bombs and/or carefully planted sparklers to make it look like an overhead electrical line is about to drop onto the crowd. A bunch of growling, barking dogs being chased down the street by their handlers might also do the trick. Other possibilities include a live bear, a cat fight between two hired actresses, or an alien spacecraft landing nearby... until somebody invents the SEP field, that is.
Of course, an ideal plan would include all of the above simultaneously. Sadly, if someone has time to plan such an elaborate diversion, he/she probably has time to get in line earlier, and as such, everything in this post is a terrible idea. Remember, kids, don't try this at home....
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