NASA Contractor Needs Urine 291
Apparently, NASA sent a memo to its employees at the Johnson Space Center asking for their urine so they, NASA, could use it to test the Orion space capsule. How much urine? 30 liters per day, including weekends. Disposal of urine for up to six months would be required if Orion is to work as planned.
Alert reader nettamere adds a link to story at Discovery.com, excerpting: "Donations will be treated with a chemical that can hold solid particulates in the liquid so they don't clog up the tubing in microgravity, said Leo Makowski, company spokesman for Hamilton Sundstrand, a contractor designing the new spaceship's toilet. ... "It's difficult to come up with a faux urine, explained NASA's Jim Lewis, the systems manager overseeing development of Orion's potty. 'That's why we depend on collections.'"
Seriously? (Score:5, Funny)
They must be taking the piss.
But really... (Score:5, Funny)
In other news, (Score:5, Funny)
In other news, Management at NASA has announced that coffee for employees will now not only be free, but mandatory.
Why? (Score:5, Funny)
It's just a wee amount to ask for.
Well, it is "Johnson" (Score:1, Funny)
Perhaps the name says it all.
Urine for a treat! (Score:5, Funny)
It's the Golden Age of Space Exploration!
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
I foresee a weak stream of jokes from this article.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
They've begun to trickle in.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
Testing is just the "official" explanation... (Score:5, Funny)
In fact, this is all a part of NASA's effort to develop the most intensive watersports programs ever conceived...
Bodily Fluids (Score:4, Funny)
They are just trying to sap our precious bodily fluids!
Re:In other news, (Score:3, Funny)
On the bright side, finally a justification for drinking beer at work.
"I swear officer, It's for the Space program, and they need 8 gallons a day!"
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
I missed the boat (Score:2, Funny)
Headline should read.. (Score:5, Funny)
"Contractor Tells NASA To Piss Off"
Re:Seriously? (Score:5, Funny)
wrong emphasis! These are potty jokes.
probably going to weed out the pot smokers too.
There!
Re: Frosty Piss!!! (Score:4, Funny)
For once the troll post is Insightful.
Here We Go! (Score:5, Funny)
30 Liters a day? Man...if they don't manage to collect that, they're going to be pissed. What's even more disconcerting is that I'm sure the Number One guy at NASA is a wee bit worried about the results. He was overheard telling the Orion project manager, "You're in over your head on this one."
Hopefully additional information will be leaked so the true details of this story can be flushed out.
I've always wanted to work for NASA (Score:5, Funny)
I just sent my resume and a teaser bottle of piss.
Re:30 Liters Per Day? (Score:5, Funny)
It's probably more difficult to get a badger to piss in a bottle than a human. It would also take a lot of badgers to generate 30 liters per day. I suppose a polar bear would generate more, but that causes other problems such as a shortage of interns to feed the bear.
Re:Urine for a treat! (Score:5, Funny)
The Golden Shower Age, maybe?
Re:Seriously? (Score:3, Funny)
Lucky for them we live in a urine nation.
Probably just a tempest in a pee cup.
Obligatory Monty Python Reference (Score:5, Funny)
Interior smooth-looking office. Mr Feldman behind a desk, Mr Martin in front of it. Both point to a sign on the desk: 'Life Insurance Ltd'.
Martin: Good morning. I've been in touch with you about the, er, life insurance...
Feldman: Ah yes, did you bring the um ... the specimen of your um ... and so on, and so on?
Martin: Yes I did. It's in the car. There's rather a lot.
Feldman: Good, good.
Martin: Do you really need twelve gallons?
Feldman: No, no, not really.
Martin: Do you test it?
Feldman: No.
Martin: Well, why do you want it?
Feldman: Well, we do it to make sure that you're serious about wanting insurance, I mean, if you're not, you won't spend a couple of months filling up that enormous churn with mmm, so on and so on...
Martin: Shall I bring it in?
Feldman: Good Lord no. Throw it away.
storage? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:In other news, (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds like a piss-poor job of aircraft design to me...
Re:Urine? Is that all? (Score:2, Funny)
I bet he was a wanker. =)
Re:In other news, (Score:3, Funny)
screw coffee make them drink beer, then they will have all the pee they need, shoot I would sign up.
shoot otherwise they may cause a STALL in the project
Re:In other news, (Score:2, Funny)
Typical NASA (Score:5, Funny)
It's probably a covert drug test.
*puts on tinfoil hat*
Have you ever see the earth from space...on weed???
Re:Seriously? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:storage? (Score:5, Funny)
urk...
Re:Why? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Urine for a treat! (Score:3, Funny)
How do you think they scrub down in LEO, anyway? The ISS is nicknamed "Tinklebelle".
Semen (Score:5, Funny)
I'm going to tell me son to look into this. He was pretty excited recently when he discovered he could sell his semen for $250 a pop.
His urine might not fetch as much but he's got more of it.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
Lettuce help!
Re:Stillsuits? (Score:5, Funny)
But who the hell wants to take Kevin Costner with them into orbit?
Re:storage? (Score:3, Funny)
Worse yet, the memo: "Alright, who's the wiseguy who put the O.J. in the urine collection system? And where did our 30 liters of piss go?"
Re:Why? (Score:1, Funny)
You're in with the moderators right now. Your joke wets their appetites for more humor.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Stillsuits? (Score:5, Funny)
People with access to chloroform and an airlock?
Guess what they'll need... (Score:3, Funny)
...for the first mission to Uranus.
Re:Why? (Score:4, Funny)
This thread is just a pissing competition of lame jokes.
I always say when urine a veritable shower of golden opportunities, and you have it in you, there snow better place to write your own name. Or is that a punishable offense?
Re:storage? (Score:2, Funny)
Depending on what other research projects may be underway, milk may not be a good choice either.
Re:Why? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
I've had enough of this crap, I'm going to go get pissed and play with my Wii.
Of course this begs the question.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Urine? Is that all? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:4, Funny)
I'm showered with bad jokes.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
What scientific whiz at NASA came up with this one?
A real cockhead. His subordinates are now really pissed.
They should call... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
Come on, America. Your nation needs you.
New Euphamism (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Seriously? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
We'll get our top whiz working right on it!
Re:In other news, (Score:5, Funny)
...stinks up the whole bathroom.
You're doin' it wrong.
Aha! Proof! (Score:1, Funny)
This just proves that NASA is a piss poor organization.
Re:Why? Reminds me of naval terminology.... (Score:2, Funny)
"Operation Goldenflow"... (for urinalysis, as described by Sailors...)
But, at first, I thought a contractor required this urine. SO, if they have a performance clause involved, and don't/can't get enough, will they be subject to fines for "piss-poor performance"? (LOL!)
Also, reminds me of "Prior proper planning prevents piss-poor performance"...
Are you kidding? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Seriously? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Seriously? (Score:2, Funny)
You know, I've been thinking about it for the last ten minutes and "urea" is just not a word that lends itself well to puns.
Re:Seriously? (Score:4, Funny)
Oui.
Re:Seriously? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:In other news, (Score:3, Funny)
You want the nation's space fleet designed by drunk people? My problem senses are tingling.
Are you sure your senses are tingling and not tinkling? And for the record, I am mildly surprised that there have been no references yet about the constellation Urion.
Re:In other news, (Score:5, Funny)
During the Apollo missions they just put the, uh, stuff in plastic bags and tossed it out the porthole. Nobody complained.
Yeah, isn't that a bitch... there could be a bag of Apollo astronaut shit out there with your name on it. Imagine getting beaned in the side of your space helmet by an ancient bowel movement traveling around the earth at several km/s... although they were on a diet of soft foods so that might soften the blow a little.
Re:Urine? Is that all? (Score:5, Funny)
masturbate a pig [youtube.com] (last link is probably NSFW).
I wonder what line of thought you followed to reach "I should tag this "masturbate a pig" youtube link with NSFW."
Re:Seriously? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Urine? Is that all? (Score:3, Funny)
And I wonder what your manager would think if he caught you watching a video of a man masturbating a pig.