NASA Considers Plans for Permanent Moon Base

el crowbar sent us a link to an MSNBC article detailing NASA's plans for a moon base. The permanently staffed structure could begin construction sometime in 2010, with six-month duty rotations the norm by 2025. Interestingly, the space agency is looking far afield for technical expertise. Consultants on the project include individuals from Caterpillar, Norcat, Boeing, and other manufacturing concerns. Right now the only detail for placement and purpose is 'on the rim of a crater near one of the poles', but the article outlines a few other ideas that enterprising individuals have in mind for a moon base. Besides helium-3 mining and lunar hotels, do you have any good ideas for a moon base startup?

Already there

[crazyjeremy]

But I coulda swore I heard some crackpot on the radio saying the US already HAD a base on the moon. Man, slashdot is slow...

Sports!

[Form-o-Stuff]

Naturally, a basketball court for all us white folk...

Re:Already there

[rifter]

And I'm assuming plans for a giant "laser" have already been considered.

Ridiculous. How are the sharks supposed to swim up to the moon just so we can get big frickin lasers up there? On the backs of the mutated sea bass?

Definitly..

[d3m0nCr4t]

A lunapark and casino with hookers and blackjack... Ah, forget about the blackjack.

That's our way

[Speed Pour]

Let's see...

Moon Base (for the sci-fi fans)
Resort Hotel (most likely modeled in the Las Vegas "style")
Commercial trips to the moon (perfect for advertising agencies to plaster their wares on)
Strip Mining (for the republicans)

Yeah, you can tell the American touch has been put on these plans (Note, I am American). Any chance we can put some government offices, maybe a DMV or something?

Disclaimer: This is written as sarcastic dry comedy, not hateful/spiteful/snotty

Re:That's our way

[Form-o-Stuff]

Perhaps a shop that sells miniature versions of the Moon Base?

Only worth-while question:

[r_jensen11]

Does it come with a giant "Laser beam?"

Re:pr0n!

[Adrilla]

Yeah, spacesuit on spacesuit action, that's hot. How do we get the grits in there?

Re:pr0n!

[GMontag]

Actually, the idea is to do it *in* the moon base, not on the roof of the base.

Obviously

[TheSexican]

They need an amusement park. We're whalers on the Moon, we carry a harpoon...

Who is going to direct it? Spielberg or Lucas?

[gd23ka]

Inquiring minds want to know.

Re:Definitly..

[value_added]

If NASA nixes the hookers, how about a restaurant that serves Aldebaran liqueurs and Ameglian Major cow?

Maybe someone can come up with a catchy name for it.

Guantanamo Crater

[funkmotor]

More likely a lunar detainment and "rendition" centre far from snooping eyes and pesky UN rules and human rights lawyers.

Re:The Lunar Asylum

[newnerdyuser]

Guantanamo crater perhaps?

Re:Already there

[Anonymous Coward]

That's no Moon. Oh wait, it actually is.

But why do they have the planetary destroying laser pointed at the Earth?

Re:corporate welfare

[oohshiny]

Don't worry, they'll come in later and build the schools and hospitals for the native moon people.

Re:Already there

[skinfitz]

That's what they want you to think...

Mooninites

[8ball629]

Watch out for Ignignokt, he might flip you the bird real hard then explode... or maybe just light up like a toy. *shrug*

Re:Guantanamo Crater

[darklordyoda]

Agreed. In this post 1-31 world, some sacrifices must be made if we are to answer the Mooninites in kind.

Re:Space 1999... um... 26 years late

[ettlz]

You could tell the difference?

The differences are, indeed, subtle, but after the fourth repeat on ITV4 you can start to discern them.

I've recently arrived at the conclusion that the occupants of Moonbase Alpha were, in fact, the useless crap from Earth that nobody wanted to deal with. They were "tricked" into taking postings on the moon where someone deliberately set them up the bomb. Let's recall who we're dealing with here:

• Commander John Koenig, a fucking awful leader who, when he's not making poor decisions and failing to learn from last week's episode, spends most of his time in his office staring into empty space and checking his chin for whether he needs a shave. Consistently out of his depth, and bloody well knows it too. Never speaks above a whisper.
• Doctor Helena Russell, the stupidest MD in sci-fi history, who'd probably pass out at the sight of an open wound. Suffers from "Nurse Chapel Syndrome", a disease that renders any camera fixed on her unable to focus properly. Never speaks above a whisper. Except when screaming.
• Professor Victor Bergman, another chin-stroker who never learns. Called in to analyse some bizarre situation, first implies he hasn't a bleeding clue, later pulls a new-age explanation out of his arse, calmly states that they all might die and they never fucking do, and then goes down the pub. A true English gentleman. Never speaks above a whisper. Except when... no, never.

The only good things about Space 1999 are the sets and special effects (I don't care what anyone says, Supermarionation was bitching) and the theme music (only ever out-funked by that of U.F.O., another Gerry Anderson great).

Re:But seriously, folks...

[Anonymous Coward]

space turism is only needed for the founding.

Wow, the "o" from "tourism" jumped 30 places.. a new record?

Re:Only worth-while question:

[macdaddy357]

When asked why we need a permanent moon base, NASA officials had this to say. [rathergood.com]

I know how we could finance it...

[argStyopa]

1. send men and women together to the moon
2. set up webcams around the base
3. ...
4. PROFIT!

Re:Settlers

[Mr2cents]

Ah yes, settlers. How can we sell this?

Lose weight instantly?

Things you'll need

[failedlogic]

1. A television station. Local community news. Possibly a shopping channel. Tease on shopping channel that a ticket back to Earth is comming up as an item for sale but never offer it!
2. Magnifiying glasses and mirrors. I've had fun reflecting sun beams in people's eyes. I'm sure the moon people will having doing it to us Earthlings. Only we'll never know who did it.
3. A limitless supply of drugs and other entertainment. If you're never coming back, then you might as well have a hell of a time!

I'll call it...

[Loconut1389]

The Alan Parson's Project.

Re:But seriously, folks...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Wow, the "o" from "tourism" jumped 30 places.. a new record?"

It's impressive, but no record. There was an "o" from east Germany back in the late 70's that managed a 37.5 place jump in the grammar Olympics that year. The landing was unfortunate (due to that .5), when it was impaled on the top of a lowercase "j". The surgeons managed to separate them, but the poor "o" will forever have the "j"'s dot embedded inside of it...

Re:Only worth-while question:

[Faylone]

I belive this is going to require several months of therapy...

Re:That's our way

[gbulmash]

Well, if you REALLY want to make it American, you need to hand out free guns and bibles to all disembarking passengers.

Well, if we're going to get into stereotypes (says the non-Christian, non-gun-owning American)...

To make it British: Hand out halloween fake snaggletooth inserts and white greasepaint so they can get that pasty look.

To make it French: Spray them with horse sweat, remove their spines and replace them with a stick up their ass.

To make it German: Everyone will line up here... NOW!!!

- Greg