New "Hairy Lobster" Crustacean Discovered and Classified

AviLazar writes "American-led divers discovered a new type of Crustacean, that resembles a lobster but has it's claws covered in 'sinuous, hair-like strands'. This species is so different, from other Crustacean's that it was classified with a new Family name: Kiwaida. Unfortunately for the Kiwaida, the AP is already using this blind creature and a salad plate in the same sentence."

just what i need

[gEvil (beta)]

Great, now I get to pick hairs out of my teeth when I eat this, too?

Re:just what i need

[Phaed]

Oh quit being shellfish - some people like the experience.

But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

Re:just what i need

[Anonymous Coward]

>But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

McDonalds cheeseburgers

gEvil's just being crabby

[jd]

(Well, I thought I'd "muscle" in on the jokes)

Re:just what i need

[Smurf]

But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

Well, mangos, you pervert!

Seriously, some varieties of mango have in their flesh lots of annoying fibrous hairs connected to the seed. If you try to eat the fruit directly, those hairs get stuck in your teeth. Did I mention those mango varieties are absurdly cheap?

In some tropical countries there's a sex position called "the mango": just like the 69, but with hairs between the teeth. Really!

Re:just what i need

[ToasterofDOOM]

Bearded Clams! [thetoque.net]

Re:just what i need

[Mateito]

> But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

Anything prepared on a street stall in Mexico. I reckon they put the hair in it to show that its freshly prepared.

Having said that, I found a hair in a packet of ready-to-eat curry the other day.

Re:just what i need

[ForwardThinker]

I heard they also found a new type of hairy lobster off the brazilian coast ... but it only had a thin strip of hair down the middle!

Re:just what i need

[mapmaker]

You're thinking of the bearded clam.

Re:just what i need

[cayenne8]

"You're thinking of the bearded clam."

If God hadn't meant you to eat it..he wouldn't have made it look so much like a TACO!!

Re:just what i need

[Anonymous Coward]

Researchers have also noted that it smells like fish, tastes like chicken, and is related to the bearded clam.

Obviously

[RealProgrammer]

you must have remarkably poor technique.

The edible parts are hairless.

Re:Obviously

[Anonymous Coward]

You must not be asian.

Re:just what i need

[Marxist Hacker 42]

Oh yeah- another luxury foodstuff that comes from a very inconvient part of the world to import.

The important question is

[semiotec]

what do they taste like?

Re:The important question is

[Anonymous Coward]

From the article: "The animal is white and 15 centimeters (5.9 inches) long -- about the size of a salad plate."

I imagine they taste pretty darn good since they've obviously been intelligently designed as a salad course.

Re:The important question is

[sentientbeing]

It tastes great and after youve eaten it you can wipe your chin with its carcass!

Its lunch and a napkin.

Re:The important question is

[Walkiry]

Hehe, Ned Land would be proud ;-)

Re:The important question is

[kidgenius]

It is interesting in the article where it mentions that this lobster is "the size of a salad plate". Makes you wonder if the divers are contemplating the same thing you are.

Re:The important question is

[lcsjk]

Is that an African Salad plate or a European Salad plate?

Re:what do they taste like?

[gardyloo]

No, no, no. The original poster was talking about the shelled, cooked lobster.

Hairy Lobster?

[vwjeff]

I've heard of a hairy clam but never a hairy lobster.

Re:Hairy Lobster?

[winkydink]

Finally, an honest slahsdotter who admits to hearing about a hairy (bearded) clam, but not seeing one. :)

Re:Hairy Lobster?

[Eccles]

Oh, we've seen plenty. Touched, on the other hand...

Re:Hairy Lobster?

[winkydink]

pixels != seeing

A Brief Timeline of the Lobster in America.

[selfdiscipline]

Oh, come now... has noone read "The Areas of my Expertise" [areasofmyexpertise.com]?

Ya'll are missing out.

Even better link

[selfdiscipline]

In fact, I seem to remember [slashdot.org] a certain book review that may be of aid to you unenlightened masses.

Re:Hairy Lobster?

[drgonzo59]

This one bites if you reach for it.

Re:Hairy Lobster?

[cayenne8]

"I've heard of a hairy clam..."

Those disappeared (THANKFULLY) after the 70's, giving way to the more common 'bearded' clam of today...or even the prized totally shaved clam of today.

Whew...man, did you ever look at the chicks in some of those old 70's porn flicks? Geez...you'd need a machette to get through some of those jungles...

"Furry" lobster?

[ninja_pirate]

So now furries will be dressing up as this? *shudders*

Re:"Furry" lobster?

[Khyber]

I'd sure as hell hope not. Furry pr0n is bad enough as it is, I don't want to run across something that looks like a lobster getting boinked by a coyote while the lobster is being vored on the next somethingawful forum post.

Re:"Furry" lobster?

[bersl2]

The fact that I instantly thought of a picture near your description means that I have seen entirely too much furry pr0n.

(NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU WANT TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AFTERWARDS!) [vclart.net]

I know I've seen other experimental works (i.e., having non-mammalian, non-avian, non-reptilian subjects), and let me tell you, the ones with insects are worse. :)

Re:I fucking love the Vixen-Controlled Library

[Khyber]

Sad but true. Wonder how many furries are out on slashdot? I could name a few off the top of my head, including myself..

The real question is...

[robyannetta]

With or without butter?

Why hairy?

[Angostura]

This raises obvious questions about the value of the 'hairs'.

Given that it is blind, I suppose they may be tactile, like a cat's whiskers.

Or perhaps detritous gets stuck in the hairs and it is a rudimentary filter feeder.

Or perhaps most lobsters shave regularly, but since this one's blind... nah.

Re:Why hairy?

[foxcorner]

The equivalent article at the BBC mentions bacteria living in the hair: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4785482. stm [bbc.co.uk]

Wait a second..

[murderlegendre]

Can lobsters get crabs?

Re:Why hairy?

[jhines]

From the BBC article another user posted, the hairs house lots of filter bacteria which make the toxic mineral vent water paleteable.

Re:Why hairy?

[sunwukong]

Or maybe they're somewhat "sensitive" about the normal lack of hair and have taken action [ibiblio.org] to alleviate the situation.

Good question

[jd]

The photographs don't show an individual hair under a microscope (pity) but the density would be good for both sensing and feeding. My guess would be both. The BBC's photos show it floating, not on the sea bed, which tends more towards the filter feeding, but being able to tell sea currents would likely be valuable.

I can't remember if it's the anemone or the sea urchin (or both) that uses "arms" to guide food to a mouth. If there is a central mouth, rather than one on each hair (as you might expect on a fil

Re:Why hairy?

[minvaren]

The hairs should help prevent it from sticking to magnets [albinoblacksheep.com].

Hairs

[Billosaur]

The "hairs" are probably not what we think of as hair, but probably serve as some kind of sensory system, to detect the movement of currents or perhaps the movement of prey nearby, since according to the article: "It's also blind. The researchers found it had only 'the vestige of a membrane' in place of eyes, Segonzac said."

Re:Hairs

[Spectre]

Apparently the Intelligent Designer that came up with the "eye that could not possibly have randomly evolved" forgot about this beastie.

What makes it especially interesting

[jd]

Is that many "blind" fish exist, trapped in underground lakes where eyes serve no purpose. Fish transported there don't become blind, it is only the fish that have been there countless generations. HOWEVER, they go blind by a membrane growing over the eye. The eye is still there and research (from what I understand) suggests that the eye is still fully functional.

Here, there is no eye, there is only a membrane. This suggests one of two possibilities. Either it has existed in conditions where light would serve no purpose for FAR longer than the "blind" fish - such that the eye has devolved completely, or it predates the evolution of the eye entirely.

This may be testable. It's believed this new crustacean is a new species, but the only real test for this would be to run a DNA test and compare it against known crustacean DNA types. This would also give a good indication of how ancient the species is, as we'd then know how much junk DNA there was and if/when it split off from any other known species.

Talking of DNA, there have been a lot of new species discovered recently, but I've not heard of much DNA work being done and there are still VERY few species in any of the online DNA databases I've seen. I can't help but feel that this is an area of work that isn't being utilized as much as it could be. Sure, it's not cheap, but the masses of DNA sequencing labs that have sprouted up for genealogical DNA work can't possibly be getting enough orders to keep running. There must surely be some way of tapping into existing resources that would bring the cost of the work down to affordable levels.

But, then, maybe not. Absolute production-line marker recognition of one Y chromosome and mDNA of a well-known species over a very narrow time-frame is relatively trivial compared to charting actual base-pairs and chromosomes over an unmapped type of DNA for a species of uncertain classification, where the nearest point of reference might be anywhere from very recent to a few hundred million years apart.

Even so, DNA research for species identification must surely be an area that could supplement the income of such labs, the equipment would only need to be able to do enough work to produce preliminary results of some sort, the promotional value can't hurt, and it would give researchers something more than "it looks really different" to go by.

Bigger pic

[StonedRat]

There's a bigger pic on bbc, reminds me of the big hug from the soup adverts.

Pic [bbc.co.uk]
Article [bbc.co.uk]

Re:Bigger pic

[steelfood]

Is it just me, or does it bear uncanny resemblance to a tick [lawestvector.org] except much bigger and with two giant pincers in the front?

Looks great...

[tengennewseditor]

I want one of those to hang on my rear view mirror.

Jack Handey

[RobotWisdom]

"People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blonde hair."

Evolution at work

[Aging_Newbie]

The hair, while surprising, is not if you consider that it could just be a sensory organ [nih.gov]. Note how evolution deprecated the critter's eyes since the hairs would probably be more effective in the 7500 foot depth where it lives. Once in a while it is nice to see that there are still things to be discovered.

Standard Units of Measure

[Anonymous Coward]

Since when was a salad plate a unit of measure?

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[qwijibo]

It's a reference point that suggests that this scientific discovery is more of an appetizer than a full meal. Even scientists are humans first. That means when we discover something new, we have to give it a location on the food chain.

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[rspress]

Here is its location in the food chain, between soup and dessert.

Become a member of PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals.

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[jeblucas]

Oh, my... you are correct sir. Let's send a letter to the editor.

In Re: Salad Plate dimension.

I read your recent hirsute lobster tale (pun very much intended) recently and was flummoxed by your use of "salad plate" as a measure of what I'm guessing is area. Could you please restate the size in dimensions your readership could understand? Perhaps football fields, breadboxes, or tons of TNT?

Thank you humbly,
A.Coward, Esq.

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[Vengie]

0.00000025 LoC. [assuming appox 1sqfoot for the lobster, 4mm sq foot for LoC]

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[merlin_jim]

Since when was a salad plate a unit of measure?

They adopted it at the same time that Libraries of Congress became the standard UOM for data files...

Re:Standard Units of Measure

[IronChef]

You just have to specify if it is an Imperial or SI salad plate.

Classify it?

[pulse2600]

Don't just classify it, provide a recipe too!

Recipes for Hairy Lobster

[drewzhrodague]

Okay, so not for *hairy* lobster, but lobster none the less. Excuse the shameless plug, but I do have quite a few Lobster Recipes [zhrodague.net] to choose from. You can add them to your recipebox. Don't forget the Old Bay Crab seasoning.

Geez...

[ChePibe]

I know they've been doing a lot of reclassifying [slashdot.org] lately, but must we really classify the existence of these lobsters?

I kid, I kid...

New Taxonomy

[cparisi]

Here is the new Taxonomy order:

Domain
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Family
Genus
Species
Yummy-ness!

Re:New Taxonomy

[demonbug]

I think you have it a bit out of order. At least for me, yummy-ness clearly comes before Order.

Re:New Taxonomy

[HolyCrapSCOsux]

But you have to Order it first. How else will it get to the table to check it's yummy-ness?

Waiter, there's a hair in my Lobster...

[digitaldc]

...and I wish to complain to the chef about this disgusting meal!

Waiter: I'm afraid you'll have to wait, sir. He's just gone out for his dinner.

I know what Dr Zoidberg has been up to

[MooseTick]

My mother was right! It will make hair grow on your hands.

Re:I know what Dr Zoidberg has been up to

[Tezkah]

Claws. Hair on your claws.

Also, people who are talking about eating this thing, do you really want to have death of such a beautiful creature on your claws?

Re:I know what Dr Zoidberg has been up to

[DarkSarin]

I eat venison. Deer are much prettier.

As far as I'm concerned its only a matter of time before this shows up on Iron Chef as the Secret Ingredient. Batali may have trouble with this one, but Morimoto probably already has 5 dishes planned.

Another edible food? Perfect...

Re:I know what Dr Zoidberg has been up to

[zippthorne]

Well if you were a 5 1/2 foot talking lobster, you might not think deer were pretter...

then again, we put rubber bands on lobster claws to protect the other lobsters in the tank, not the chefs.

the squatter

[ExE122]

Scientists said the animal, which they named Kiwa hirsuta, was so distinct from other species that they created a new family and genus for it.

These scientists obviously don't know squat! [divetrip.com]

Re:the squatter

[Rxke]

They do.
From the BBC article: "From its general shape and appearance, the new creature resembles freshwater "squat lobsters" found in South America. But Dr Segonzac said that genetic analysis showed it was closer to marine members of this group."

After a lifetime of hoping...

[Rob T Firefly]

Finally! A crustacean I can hug!!!

Thank God

[kukickface]

At first I misread the title as: "New 'Hairy Lobster' Crustacean Discovered in Classifieds"

I now feel safe enough to creepily browse myspace again...

It's quite obvious what happened...

[gfxguy]

An albino tarantula raped a lobster as it was scavenging near shore.

Is it tasty though?

[linzeal]

A lot of deep sea creatures have ammonia in them for anti-freeze and are not very tasty.

Re:Is it tasty though?

[polymath69]

A lot of deep sea creatures have ammonia in them for anti-freeze

Not saying you're wrong, but why would they? It doesn't make sense. After all, the pressure at depth stops the water from freezing, and so would automatically do the same for any creatures adapted to that environment. Chemical antifreeze would only be required for near-surface beasties, where the pressure isn't there to do the job.

What I'm wondering is what the hairs do when moulting: do they stay with the old shell, or pull through leaving sieve-like holes? The latter would seem to be extraordinarily difficult.

Re:Is it tasty though?

[linzeal]

Well a lot of hydrothermal vents have ammonia around them and a lot of the bacteria use it as a food souce, perhaps the ammonia in the animals is just a breakdown product of their food cycle that also is an anti-freeze.

overload!

[Syberghost]

Too... many... jokes... can't... pick... one...

(head asplodes)

Awesome!

[ursabear]

From TFA, The researchers said that while legions of new ocean species are discovered each year, it is quite rare to find one that merits a new family. - That's great. However, I don't think I'll be lining up to get one at my local sushi bar... Also, I don't think I'd invite it over for drinks or anything - it is actually kind of scary looking

It would be interesting to find out if this particular creature is strictly zoned, or is at many different levels in other parts of the world.

Science harkens, "hi

Wait a minute

[tunedfeeders]

I thought "Hairy Lobster" was the upcoming Ubuntu release...

Re:Wait a minute

[Colonel Angus]

That would be Lanate Lobster, I believe.

Journal link

[brian0918]

The journal mentioned in the BBC article is Zoosystema [www.mnhn.fr], although they don't appear to have their most recent copy online.

This HAS to STOP NOW

[MajorDick]

The Department of homeland Security has been CLASSIFYING and RE-CLASSIFYING EVERYHTING it can gets its hands on !!!!!

Now even a Crustaction is being CLASSIFIED.....................

Oh wait my bad.....

Rock Lobster

[AndreiK]

It wasn't a rock, it was a mossy lobster!

Blonde Hair

[MECC]

So blondes aren't going extinct [nbc10.com] after all - they're just just mutating into a more intelligent form.

Misleading subject

[drunkgoat]

"New 'Hairy Lobster' Crustacean Discovered and Classified" Was it just me, or did anyone else read that and think of some government agency trying to classify and cover up a secret new form of life?

Dear god..

[boingo82]

this is by FAR the worst grammar I have ever seen in a summary. I am actually depressed.

"American-led divers discovered a new type of Crustacean,(comma unnecessary) that (which)resembles a lobster but has it's (its, dammit) claws covered in 'sinuous, hair-like strands'. This species is so different, (comma unnecessary) from other Crustacean's (apostrophe inappropriate) that it was classified with a new Family name: Kiwaida. Unfortunately for the Kiwaida, the AP is already using this blind creature and a salad plate in the same sentence."

Re:Dear god..

[whitehatlurker]

Dang, I ran outta mod points, else I'd've modded you up (if you didn't post as an AC).

The original parent post is incorrect regarding that and which, not that I don't do the same thing.

Re:Dear god..

[Psmylie]

You'd see a lot more accuracy in grammar if people had to successfully compile a statement before being able to get their point across.

Spoooooon1!

[Jedi Holocron]

Looks like a giant albino underwater tick with hairy claws.

Tagging

[Jonboy X]

Finally! A story that I can use the "crustacean" tag on!

Wonder if anyone registered the domain yet?

[HangingChad]

www.hairylobster.com is showing available. Then the hairy deap sea lobsters would be suing you for domain squatting. But you could throw them into a pot of boiling water and yell, "Ha! I win!"

And that's why I don't think the lobsters will file an appeal.

Ubuntu 6.04 "Hairy Lobster"?

[GNU(slash)Nickname]

Am I the only one who read that headline and thought it was about the next Ubuntu release?

Is it just me...

[tgeller]

...or does "hairy lobster" sound like some sort of pornographic slang?

Coming Soon to Long John Silvers

[allanc]

Lobster Bites made with 100% real Kawaida Lobster.

The Ubuntu team thanks the hairy lobster...

[TheScreenIsnt]

...for providing a great name for the next release. We were going to go with *zit-faced swamp-donkey*.

Harry Lobster

[Edward Teach]

And the Goblet of Butter

New, Delicious Species Discovered

[Michael Woodhams]

Life imitates The Onion: New, Delicious Species Discovered [theonion.com]

Taggin beta

[killermookie]

Anyone else notice the tagging beta line as:

lobster, crustacean, salad, food (tagging beta)

Do you really think this lobster really wanted to be discovered?

Re:American-led divers ...

[nblender]

It _was_ a French scientist who discovered it but then he immediately surrendered to it and it took the arrival of an American scientist to capture it and haul it back for interrogation whereupon it was immediately killed. Rumsfeld disavows all knowledge of this but promises to launch a full investigation.

Re:Ick, but...

[cayenne8]

"Sinuous hair-like strands? Those don't sound tasty at all."

Those are for flossing after the meal...

:-)

Re:Great! But, the family name is incorrect.

[cutedinochick]

Well, maybe they say "family" for simplicity but perhaps it's a subfamily or who knows. Besides, they're not using the Linnaean system so much anymore so even using words like "family" and whatnot is on its way out. Most families end in -idae (pronounced -idee), but there are exceptions and with the different hierarchical levels becoming less and less distinct (are orders, etc. equivalent across taxa?) and recognized, that "rule" is also losing favor. The hierarchy doesn't make much sense nowadays, and t