Making Yourself Miserable to Succeed? 150
PeterAitch writes "Nature is reporting that expecting the worst - emotional cushioning - does not usually make you feel any better when you flunk or flop. The reported study indicates that you are just making yourself miserable. On the flip-side, people who are anxious are more likely to motivate themselves better to prepare for the forthcoming ordeal - defensive pessimists. Those with a generally sunny outlook on life expect to succeed and tend to deny responsibility when they perform badly."
Forget it. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Forget it. (Score:5, Funny)
Your right. Here's my proof: (Score:2, Funny)
I fucking knew it!
Re:The Triumph of Optimism Over Experience (Score:5, Funny)
I clicked it. And it sucked.
Somehow I think this is all your fault.
Re:The Triumph of Optimism Over Experience (Score:2)
No, it's most definitely my fault.
It's always my own damn fault.
Re:Forget it. (Score:2)
Denial (Score:2, Funny)
Ah yes, "blamestorming".
I was told that that was a good thing. (Score:3, Interesting)
It's about your mental position. If you "know" that you're good at something, then you will BE good at that. Any problems will be because of external issues.
If things accidentally work out, that's because you're so good.
If things accidentally fail, that wasn't because of you.
And by "accidentally work out" I include hiring people who pay more attention to the problem than you do.
Confirmation of the Obvious (Score:1, Insightful)
www.despair.com (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:www.despair.com (Score:1, Insightful)
Somehow I think it's better to be intrinsically pessimistic than to be turned into a miserable wretch by someone else...
Re:www.despair.com (Score:2, Interesting)
Subliminal message?
Re:www.despair.com (Score:2, Informative)
&laz;
Given the choice.... (Score:2, Interesting)
Or, how about this one: If forced to choose between justifiably pissed-off, or unjustifiably happy, which would I prefer?
Now, with your answers firmly in mind, ask yourself this one: Do I have a choice?
If you answer "No," then I highly recommend an independent study of human psychology, focusing on emotional management and meditation techniques.
Don't be a slave.
Perhaps Joni Mitchell said it best... (Score:1)
the Serpent fighting for blind desire, the Eagle for clarity.
What strange prizes these battles bring,
these hectic joys, these weary blues.
Puffed up and strutting when I think I win,
down and shaking when I think I lose.
Re:Perhaps Joni Mitchell said it best... (Score:2)
"Attack the day like birds of prey
Or scavengers under cover."
Re:Perhaps Joni Mitchell said it best... (Score:5, Funny)
Careful, you will start a holy war with talk like that... next it'll be a cartoon featuring a depiction of Jesus Christ making disparaging remarks about Joni Mitchell then there will be flag burning and embassies being assaulted...
I believe my liver is diseased... (Score:5, Funny)
going for first post! (Score:2, Funny)
ah (Score:1, Redundant)
So who was happer? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:So who was happer? (Score:1)
No, I didn't RTFA, just about too.
Re:So who was happer? (Score:2)
Huge leaps.... (Score:5, Insightful)
How do they get to making that leap when the study they did didn't afford people an opportunity to prepare in a way that they'd be able to perform better?
That whole thing sounded like they were taking what they learned -- the concept that if you think you can't, you can't -- and appended to it their own thoughts, unrelated to the study, to make people feel better.
Re:Huge leaps.... (Score:1)
Which makes me wonder if we should have more studies that prove old addages like, "Everything in moderation." or "Don't run with scissors." I know I've been wondering if I'm actually about to go blind...
They didn't (Score:2)
How do they get to making that leap
If you RTA you'll see that the study doesn't seem to claim this, it only states "it is thought (by psychologists) that". That hardly sounds like a conclusion to me.
Re:Huge leaps.... (Score:2)
Yes; it seems they redefined the wisdom into something it isn't, and then disproved that.
See, the age-old wisdom is not to expect the worst. The age-old wisdom is a two-parter: First, accept the worst to eliminate worry. Then, do what it takes to improve upon the worst that can happen.
But the cav
Yay! (Score:5, Insightful)
It's not pessimism if you WANT the world to end!
[/insanity]
Really though, this article reads much akin to a classic story of political gamesmanship. People generally would rather be lead to a horrific war on words of false hope than actually deal with the uncertainty of complex politics. Labelling optimism and pessimism as stark good or bad is a misleading guide to live your life - one should rather feed one's emotions as they need to, while striving to look at reality as clearly as one can. It'll never be an easy game to play, but it's easier to improve one's outlook through honesty than many would suspect.
Ryan Fenton
Re:Yay! (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Yay! (Score:2)
You're a bit late. They already rule the world.
Re:Yay! (Score:2)
Amazon link [amazon.com]
Ryan Fenton
Re:Yay! (Score:2)
Groundless Optimism & Realistic Optimism Diffe (Score:5, Interesting)
I keep telling you folks... (Score:1)
Learned Optimism (Score:5, Informative)
This kind of reminds me of Martin Seligman's book "Learned Optimism [amazon.com]." Among other things it discusses research on how different kinds of people attribute their successes and failures. It's not at all "pop" psychology. Seligman was (is?) a research psychologist at Penn State. Definitely worth a read.
Re:Learned Optimism (Score:4, Insightful)
If your goal is to be happy, then not blaming yourself for you failures is a pretty decent tactic. If you tend to believe that causes of your failure are external, temporary, and specific to the incident, then you tend to feel good about yourself, and continue to take risks. If you feel that the causes of your failure are internal, permanent and generalized, you will stop taking risks, and become depressed.
Seligman himself said it best. "Stupidity abides" - if you believe that you are too stupid to get a job, you'll stop trying, and become miserable. If you blame the job market - well, the job market changes. You'll keep trying, and be happier about it
Re:Learned Optimism (Score:2)
I don't buy it. It's one thing to think that everything you touch becomes a failure and another to
Only in a protected environment. (Score:2)
For the short term. And only in a protected environment.
That means that someone else has to take the hit for your failure.
Taking risks is fine, as long as there's someone else who is NOT taking a risk to protect you.
Example: Any dange
Re:Only in a protected environment. (Score:2)
I second you on that. And there is something that I don't understand... If i take the risk, and it failed, I face the consequences and work around it. I knew it was risky, why should I feel bad?
Re:Learned Optimism (Score:2)
If your goal is to be happy, then not blaming yourself for you failures is a pretty decent tactic.
Happiness aside, that's hardly a path to success. I'm reminded of those losers who go from one burger-flipping job to the next and are never able to hold down even such a simple job for very long without getting fire. Almost always there is an "I'm too good for this job" attitude.
Isn't the best to try to be realistic? I.e. recognise when failures were not your fault, and recognise when failures were? It will
Bottom Line (Score:4, Funny)
So keep doing whatever you usually do, seems to be the advice here.
Unless, of course, you're a pessimist. In that case, you probably think you're wrong and you'll change to thinking positively, but the positive thinkers already thought they were right, so they'll keep thinking positive... So, I predict, everyone will soon be optimists, if this study gets around.
I'm pretty confident that I'm correct... See, it's already begun!
Re:Bottom Line (Score:2)
Re:Bottom Line (Score:2)
Re:Bottom Line (Score:1)
As usual, Heinlein said it best (Score:5, Interesting)
to sum it up.... (Score:1)
Re:As usual, Heinlein said it best (Score:5, Interesting)
However, we're miserable most of the time, and we burn out quick. That's because we blame ourselves for every single little thing that goes wrong, and we feel guilty about every mistake for the rest of our lives. It's a pretty high standard to hold yourself to.
I imagine it's worse for Doctors, but that profession allows you to blame something else for your screw up a lot more, so maybe not.
Re:As usual, Heinlein said it best (Score:2)
For the most part, engineers get to model and test their plans before ever having to create something real. Doctors OTOH, often go in with incomplete information, have patients who don't follow instructions (take this medicine twice a day, for a month), and deal with anywhere from 15~20 wildly different problems in a given day. And that's just being a general practitioner.
Engineering is based on principles discove
Re:As usual, Heinlein said it best (Score:2)
As you can tell I
Mod this! (Score:1, Funny)
Invalid study conclusions (Score:5, Interesting)
Let's examine what they did:
1. They gave people a "medium" practice session.
2. They asked people to guess how they did on it (i.e. rate how they think the will perform on "medium" task.)
3. They gave 1/2 of the group "easy" tests and the other half "hard" tests.
4. They asked the individuals to rate themselves and explain the situation.
confident failures: They concluded that those who expected to do well decided to blame the test when they did poorly on the "hard" test? No kidding?!?! They pulled a bait and switch on them and gave them something completely different than they were asked to rate themselves. They have every right to blame the test. It's like playing a pool shark.
disappointing success: They also concluded that those who expected to do poorly didn't feel any better when they did well on the "easy" tests. No kidding ?!?! People don't feel better when you "let them win." These people also felt slighted.
The whole testing methodology is flawed. Call me when they do a real study on the matter.
Real Science is BORING! (Score:1)
Re:Invalid study conclusions (Score:2)
Re:Invalid study conclusions (Score:2)
Re:Invalid study conclusions (Score:2)
You're missing the point of the experiment.
It says,
That is what the experimenters are reporting for that experiment. Not what you wrote up there as conclusion.
The Advice of a high school PE teacher (Score:2)
Re:The Advice of a high school PE teacher (Score:5, Insightful)
I agree with "hope for the best" — as the article says, people who expect bad things to happen are just making themselves miserable, without actually gaining anything from it.
I certainly don't agree with "expect the worst", that's exactly what's wrong. One must be prepared for the worst, not expect it. That is, you must think about the worst-case scenario and how to handle it instead of being foolishly optimistic and not worrying about it at all, but that does not mean you must actually believe that the worst-case thing is what will happen. The best state to be in is "I feel everything will turn out well (but if it doesn't, then I'm prepared for that too)."
(And as for "take whatever comes", you don't really have a choice there, do you?
Re:The Advice of a high school PE teacher (Score:2)
I don't agree with your interpretation. I think "expect the worst" implies "be prepared for the worst". By expecting the worst you aren't left helpless if that actually occurs. I know what you mean, literally, but by saying "hope for the best" I don't think it's telling you to be totally pessimistic.
Re:The Advice of a high school PE teacher (Score:2)
General life. (Score:1, Insightful)
For example: The first time I moved out of my mothers basement, age of 16, I did not have a job. I would do web development, PC Repair, etc on the side while still trying to make it through high school. I found that the first two months were terrible. Around then I was literally crying myself to sleep due to stress. But, I found that this stress motivated me to be more productive, and allowed me to set and achieve higher goals. Around mid-month 3, I managed to mak
That's "comfort zone". (Score:2)
This also applies to achieving beyond your comfort zone. Once you have more than you need to be "comfortable", most people get just lazy enough to fall back into their comfort zone.
Pessimism is a great mood to study (Score:1)
Following that event, I sometimes deliberately tried to force depression on myself when I wanted to play UT2004 instead of studying. Beleive me, it works. It worked so well that I prepared three times more
In other news... (Score:1, Informative)
-AC
A Third Attitude? (Score:1)
Difference between optimists and pessimists: (Score:2)
The optimist replies: yes, it can.
Re:Difference between optimists and pessimists: (Score:1)
So wait, they're agreeing with each other? What's the difference again?
Re:Difference between optimists and pessimists: (Score:2, Interesting)
-Isaac Asimov, Foundation.
reminds me of a bartenders advice (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Old Ben (Score:1)
"Expect the worst. If all goes well, you'll be pleasantly surprised."
I prefer to think of myself as a pessimistic optimist.
wowz (Score:1)
True (Score:1)
Rose-tinted? (Score:2, Interesting)
The team then gave half the students problems that were slightly easier than the first set, while half were given more difficult puzzles. This ensured that the students' performances would either exceed, or fall short of, their expectations.
These people [the optimistic group], who see the world through rose-tinted spectacles, also tend to deny responsibility for their poor performance. Marshall and Brown showed this in a second part of the study, in which students were also asked whether they felt t
Pessimist club (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Pessimist club (Score:2, Funny)
Some advice... (Score:2)
Dammit... (Score:1)
Some places where pessimisim is good (Score:2)
2) copyrights and patnets - and all the industries that bend you over and butter you up into using proprietary products. While there are always these glossy, we'll save your life and make it sooo perfect,
Progammer mentality not always compatible socially (Score:4, Insightful)
I think people confuse criticism with negativity too much. You can anticipate something going wrong in both a productive and non-productive way, and many don't note the distinction. In one scenario you're preparing for every contingency; in another, you're making excuses for failure. But there's a profound difference in the way people deal with these situations.
In my experience, many tech people are profoundly positive and hopeful. However, they achieve this degree of self confidence via a process of identifying and subsequently solving problems. Along the way, this appears to an outsider as being negative, but it's a very optimstic process.
Unfortunately being critical is taboo these days. Nobody wants to be told they're doing anything wrong, yet we still want everything to be perfect, so people who anticipate and adjust for potential failure are the ones that actually make things work, but nobody wants to be around during the process it seems.
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
Most engineers will definitely say the latter and have a plethora of rational arguments to back it up... however useful yet ironic that ultimately is. Maybe this explains the "nerd virgin" concept m
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
I agree with you.
However I think we all are aware of the misuse of optimism outside of its appropriate context, or the same thing with pessimism.
For example I have one of these types of friends and I'm probably n
Re:Progammer mentality not always compatible socia (Score:2)
Unfortunately being critical is taboo these days. Nobody wants to be told they're doing anything wrong, yet we still want everything to be perfect, so people who anticipate and adjust for potential failure are the ones that actually make things work, but nobody wants to be around during the process it seems.
Interesting theory. If true, it's likely because everyone nowadays wants to reap but not sow.
Where does realism fit in? (Score:2)
I'm generally optimistic but if I fail there's the ability to think I might have screwed up and that it wasn't any
Distinction... (Score:2)
There is a big, huge distinction between "expecting the worst" and "preparing for the worst". The former is an excuse to quit and not try as hard along the way, and the latter is a positive, optimistic process of doing your best to succeed by developing contingent plans.
The study, published in Cognition and Emotion, suggests that a person's reaction to disappointment or failure is determined mainl
Pessimism and physiology (Score:2)
Anyway, I can very well see the purely evolutionary reasons for negative effects from pessimism and unh
my meditation (Score:2, Insightful)
Command your body and you will succeed. (Score:2)
And how in the heck has that got to do with learning you ask? It is the same thing. You tell yourself to be negative and that you are unable to complete this task...you will most likely be unable to complete it - even if you know your stuff.
Let me take myself as an example, Ive failed many a test in my younger years and that made me quite sad as a kid. Other factors that made me even sadder was the fact that other
You can always find the optimists (Score:2, Funny)
They clap their hands.
Correlation is not causation (Score:2)
It proves (Score:2)
Reduce expectations (Score:2)
How To Make Yourself Miserable... (Score:2)
the glass is half ___ (Score:2)
When asked, I would always say the glass is half empty and everyone calls me a pessimist. So?
MY take on the question?
The glass is half full - Optimist (irresponsible, unwilling to face reality, accept responsibility, unprepared for the future.)
The glass is half full - realist (sees the truth, accepts responsibility, prepares for the future NOW.)
When you have the "don't care" attitude (glass is half full) you feel that "everything is fine, stick your head in the sand and party on
Re:the glass is half ___ (Score:2)
Re:the glass is half ___ (Score:2)
W and gang follow this philosophy.
I was doing GREAT... (Score:2)
Anyone who's worked in business knows this (Score:2)
Different Strokes... (Score:2)
The book linked below has an interesting take on all this. The idea is that optimist strategies don't work for some people, and that defensive pessimism is particularly useful for this group. So