Monkeys Pay for Monkey Porn 391
An anonymous reader writes "Give a monkey some spending money, and he'll blow it on pictures of women monkeys. He'll also pay to see dominant monkeys. But you'll have to pay him to look at inferior monkeys. That's the upshot of a study out of Duke that was designed to explore the 'social machinery of the brain with an eye toward helping autism patients.' Next up -- seriously -- the researchers want to run the same test on Joe Sixpack (sans the monkey business)."
Do they - ? (Score:5, Funny)
Do they spank the monkey as part of the experiment?
Re:Do they - ? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Do they - ? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Do they - ? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Do they - ? (Score:5, Funny)
And how is this different from the internet today?
So... (Score:5, Funny)
sorry, no dice (Score:5, Funny)
Re:sorry, no dice (Score:4, Funny)
Give him some monkey porn and send him on his way.
Oooh ooh Aaah Aaah! Oooh ooh aaah aaah! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Oooh ooh Aaah Aaah! Oooh ooh aaah aaah! (Score:3, Funny)
That's totally off-topic!
~X~
So... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So... (Score:2, Funny)
Picture [curlydavid.com] from the experiment.
Another one [theinsanedomain.com].
Re: So... (Score:3, Funny)
> Where can I download this monkey porn?
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.milf
Re:So... (Score:2)
Re:So... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:So... (Score:2)
Re:So... (Score:3, Funny)
You jest, but... I have a web page which has some information a bit related to monkeys. Many people find that page when they do a search for "monkey pictures", which I've noticed when skimming through my web logs.
One day quite some time ago, I came across someone who had found my web page by searching for "monkey pictures" but who had also added a "-sex" to avoid pages mentioning sex. Ever since then, I've wondered what they had come across earlier when searching
err... (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone else get a completely different meaning out of that then they intended?
The question is.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:err... (Score:2, Funny)
Missing Option: (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, wait, this wasn't a poll?
No boozers? (Score:3, Funny)
Hahaha dumb monkeys (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hahaha dumb monkeys (Score:3, Funny)
I got too used to it and now I prefer it.
Re:Hahaha dumb monkeys (Score:3, Funny)
A is B; B is C; then A is C??? (Score:2)
experiment (Score:5, Insightful)
Would there be anything wrong with this sentence: give a human some spending money and he'll blow it on pictures of female humans?
I guess I'm objecting to the notion that being male is the norm.
That's what TFA says (Score:3, Interesting)
It would be interesting to know if they really only tried it with a male watcher / female picture combination. If so that would give an interesting insight into the researcher's minds...
Another question then would arise: were the researchers male or female...
Re:experiment (Score:5, Funny)
Don't be silly. Women only exist on the computer screen.
Re:experiment (Score:2)
Re:experiment (Score:2)
vogue etc..
Re:experiment (Score:3, Insightful)
> Would there be anything wrong with this sentence: give a human some spending money and he'll blow it on pictures of female humans?
>I guess I'm objecting to the notion that being male is the norm.
Why are there way more women on magazine covers than men? Because in general, men like looking at pretty women... and woman like looking at pretty women too, albeit for reasons other than sexual attraction in most
Re:experiment (Score:5, Insightful)
Well, women look at pretty women as at dominant females. It is the same as posters of Jordans and Beckhams and who else in male teenagers' rooms.
But true, this is weird. While guys like to watch sportsmen and actors (dominant males) and women like to watch actors and models (for sexual reasons), magazines with female photos on the cover sell better - and AFAIK it has been proven. Men are allowed on covers only if accompanied by a woman or with a baby or, seldom, if they are really, really mega celebrities.
Raf
Re:We have a delicate flower I see. (Score:3, Insightful)
You Have The Right To A Peel (Score:3, Funny)
Teach a monkey to surf the Internet, and he'll find his own peelers.
Why not? (Score:2, Funny)
Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:5, Interesting)
Besides, anything that strengthens the argument that watching p0rn is natural gets my vote for futher funding.
Re:Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:3, Interesting)
Were these monkeys deprived of normal monkey contact, including the opportunity to see other (real) monkeys, possibly indulging in sexual activity?
If so (and I suspect they weren't living in the jungle, so the answer is probably yes), then all this may prove is that watching pr0n (*) is natural IF YOU SHUT YOURSELF AWAY FROM CONTACT WITH OTHER HUMANS.
And the monkeys didn't have a choice I'll
Re:Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:2)
Then of course there's the fact that there are invasive tests which just couldn't be carried out on humans that could conceivably be carried out on monkeys (PETA notwithstanding)
Re:Ig Noble Prize Material (Score:2)
Wow! You mean it won even though it had a misplaced apostrophe in the title?
some spending money (Score:5, Funny)
I wish they would stop referring to the students at Duke like that.
From the desk of Curious George... (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, great (Score:5, Funny)
Or perhaps the change will raise the overall level of discourse. Hard to say.
Re:Oh, great (Score:2)
So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:4, Funny)
Aww, geee, I dunno. It's just a wild and crazy guess on my part, and I certainly don't know exactly how it works with monkeys, but as far as squirrels go, I reckon that this squirrel [recollectionbooks.com] is a dominant one.
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:3, Funny)
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:2)
Body language: the way other monkeys react to them, the way they move, whether they stare at the camera. Staring, in primates, is an act of aggression ... so only dominant males are free to stare at any monkey they please.
Appearance: Dominant males tend to have thicker, glossier coats, longer fur, and look "sleeker" for lack of a better word.
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:4, Informative)
A fat female is unattractive because it looks like she is pregnant.
Funny how not all societies associate fat woman with unattractive, then. It's speculated that in our society, fat women are unattractive because food (particularly fattening foods) is plentiful (and hence fatness is common), and associated with being unfit; whereas better off people eat healthy food and keep fit.
A bold man is attractive because his head looks like a big.. well, you know what.
Assuming you or others find bald heads attractive.... but that's not universally accepted. And frankly, most bald men don't have a red, sunburnt head with a line down the middle, do they?
People in uniforms are attractive, because they they look alike, which means they were so successful that they were able to multiply so much.
More plausible theory (again, not mine); people in uniforms (well, men at least) are more likely to be in dangerous professions where they are willing to risk their lives to protect people. Which would extend to their mate (female) and child; good mate --> attractive.
It's interesting that you don't hear of many strippograms dressing as traffic wardens, after all.
The above points apply to humans, but it's the same with monkeys I guess.
I'd doubt they apply to humans; they seem like some half-baked ideas you pulled off the top of your head. Although maybe you should dress in the uniform of a dictator of a banana republic and see if the monkeys at the local zoo find that attractive?
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant (Score:2)
Or, if not them, maybe some leftist gorillas. (Rim shot.)
It would be too much to expect... (Score:4, Interesting)
I mean, I'll grant you that they're easy... But for all that the circumstances of the study make for plenty of nice crass jokes, it does raise some very interesting questions - hands up who else thought watching sports, and porn, were singularly human proclivities?
Apart from the mild fascination attatched to what this tells us about our extra-fuzzy relatives, it gives an interesting perspective on what it is to be human, how divorced are we from our fellow animals? From those things we like to refer to as 'animal instincts'?
But, since it's all too easy.. I'll let you construct a joke based on dominant monkeys, and American politics, as an exercise for the reader.
Re:It would be too much to expect... (Score:2)
Like, your preponderance for verbosity perturbs me, an' shit.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go spank my monkey. Bad monkey! Bad!
And what do female monkeys pay for? (Score:2, Interesting)
And how do researchers spend money? (Score:5, Funny)
Give researchers some money, and they'll spend it on monkey porn
Bestiality (Score:5, Interesting)
If a male monkey gets off on looking at pictures of naked (human) women, is that considered bestiality?
Rishathra! (Score:3, Informative)
Since our ancestors killed off our hominid cousins, perhaps it could be used to describe sex between primates.
Of course, they'd have to be intelligent primates. So until we get some kind of Uplift program going, a monkey getting off on human porn would almost certainly find warts and hair sprouting from his palms. (And vice-versa, so don't get any ideas!)
Stefan
Re:Bestiality (Score:3, Interesting)
I kid you not.
Monkeys - pr0n - IQ Test (Score:2, Funny)
Seems just like a nice allegory to the evolution of man: Monkeys -> pr0n -> IQ Test
what about female monkeys? (Score:2)
-ss
Re:what about female monkeys? (Score:3, Funny)
Only occasionally. In large, drunken, rowdy groups. Just before some monkey nuptials usually.
Just like human women.
Monkeys paying for porn? That's nothing... (Score:2)
In other news... (Score:2, Funny)
A spokes woman for MWEF (Monkey womens' emanicipation front) said "As always, research on males are considered more important than research on women." When asked to comment, the human researchers mumbled something about women monkeys having a more complex hormonal system.
A team of Russian researchers gabe the monkey couples a remote control as part of the experiment, the women monkeys immediately monopolized it and choose
Would female monkeys pay (Score:2, Interesting)
- to get bananas?
- to get dildos?
- to see monkey pr0n?
Hot ot not, eh? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...
*GG*
Re:Hot ot not, eh? (Score:2)
4wa4to
iq433ddddddddddd40q63407nlkj]
That's just the beginning! (Score:2)
Monkey Hot Or Not [modernhumorist.com]
Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:5, Interesting)
This is an attitude of what those comfortable with Autism call a "curebie". I am the parent of a wonderful boy who happens to have autsim, and I can tell you, he is no need of a "cure".
Autism is categorized as a system-wide neurological disorder. A "disorder" because the system of an autistic individual deviates from what is considered "normal". These are most likely inherited traits. To "cure" autism would pretty much be a system of eugenics. Once born with these traits, there is no cure. Just as there would be no cure for left-handedness or red hair. This is not an acquired disease, this is who these people are.
Not being comfortable with looking at someone in the face is not the end of the world. I hope to teach my son coping mechanisms to live in a world that does not make sense to him, there is no need for him to pretend to not be autistic and fit in with the Neurotypical folk.
As cool as it is that monkeys like porn as much as the average slashdotter, this research in my opinion is misguided.
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:2, Interesting)
No, it's the attitude of a scientist doing his research, so that maybe one day we can say a little bit more than "autism is a neurological disorder". I assure you that these researchers have no intention of "curing" your son.
I have worked 5 years with adults who had various degrees of autism so I am familiar with the disorder.
this research in my opinion is misguided.
You are entitled to your opinion of course. I o
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:4, Funny)
"They laughed at me, those fools! Well who's laughing now? Muahahahahaha!"
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:3, Interesting)
The problems with socialising with people commonly ass
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:5, Insightful)
Just because you find your boy easy to deal with doesn't mean everyone else's kid is the same. Some autistics can survive in the world, many can't. For them amelioration of the effects means not having a "normal" life, but having a shot at any kind of independence.
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed (Score:3, Insightful)
Autism is an acquired disease (Score:3, Interesting)
People with disorders and disabilities, in some attempt of self validation, try to say their disability is not a disability but just 'different'. If a person is retarded - which is what autism is by definition - trying to pretend that they're not retarded, but just 'different', is a messed up attitude. They're tying people's worth to their physical (dis)abilities rather than how good they are as a person, and as they're doing th
Re:Autism is an acquired disease (Score:4, Interesting)
So, obviously, there is a very broad range of what autism is from real, diagnosed mild autism, to not-quite-but-sort-of like myself, all the way to the profound autism where people are unable to function.
There is no right answer to whether it should be cured. If somebody is completely unable to function, and to speak for himself, then his guardian should probably consider getting him available treatments. For me, personally, If somebody came to me with a pill that could make me function better in society, and understand people better, and be more normal, I wouldn't take it. I would fight kicking and screaming before anybody forced a normal-pill down my throat. I am curious about what normalcy would be like, but the fact that my brain doesn't work like anybody else that I know tends to be a valuable thing in many cases.
For the middle ground, I think it has to be up to them. Research should continue. Treatments should be available. But, normalcy should not be mandatory.
Re:Autism is an acquired disease (Score:3, Interesting)
They're tying people's worth to their physical (dis)abilities rather than how good they are as a person, and as they're doing this, they try to pretend that their personal disability isn't a disability but is just 'different' to try to self validate. We see anorexics doing this, blind people doing this, deaf people,
This is very true, and Im ashamed to admit that I had no idea that this occured until recently.
There was a documentary on the BBC which followed some deaf people, one couple we
admit that other primates are very similar to us (Score:2)
Isn't it likely that Australian aborigines are part homo erectus (see here [tripod.com]
and
here [tripod.com]
and
here [tripod.com].
And that Europeans are probably part Neanderthal. And then you have homo florensis....
I wonder why we cannot admit that apes are a lot like us? Maybe because we eat them sometimes? Maybe it is similar to the rationalization people used i
internet deprived monkeys (Score:2)
Female Monkey? (Score:2)
I also say forget Joe Sixpack and go after Jane.
Also, I just hope and pray that my tax dollars didn't go to fund this crap, but I am sure it did somehow
I volunteered (Score:2)
I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Humans already do this (Score:5, Insightful)
Watching sports is not a sexual behaviour, but rather a herd behaviour. It strengthens the bond to the "herd", in this case the followers of the same team. It also appeals to the competitive side of humans, since sports (usually? always?) are a competition. It's hardly a display of gay sexuality.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2, Insightful)
This is just homophobia driven to the extreme...
It is your reaction that is a extreme reaction to a post that said "little gay" and was nothing extreme about.
Why don't you try to ansver that post on the subject instead of attacking the author ?
Re:Humans already do this (Score:5, Interesting)
Whats halrious is that Queen, headed by the flamboyantly gay Freddy Mercury, wrote lots of the songs that you hear at football games e.g. "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions..."
Re:Humans already do this (Score:5, Insightful)
The sexualisation happens in your head, dude. Physical contact is not inherently sexual, it's just christianity's fucked up relationship with sexuality that makes it so.
In many cultures it is perfectly natural to take someone by the hand to show them the way somewhere, even if both parties are adult males. Most americans would consider it "gay". Now what sort of mental condition and view of sexuality does that require?
Not that many other cultures don't have their own serious hangups, of course.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Humans already do this (Score:4, Insightful)
I'd say that rather your view of Christianity is rather fucked up. Somehow in Eastern, Orthodox Europe it is OK for males to kiss for greeting in the lips, somehow in Poland, supposedly extreme-Catholic country, it is OK for males to walk and talk hugging each other. OK, maybe walking hand in hand would be considered gay, or rather "feminine", not even gay, but many other physical contacts between males are really OK, without any homesexual undertones.
AFAIK it is the same (or even more) in Italy, Spain, Greece. I don't know...
So, have you considered, that this fuck-up happened rather in Anglosaxon culture than in "christianity"? OK, it might be something protestant in the background, but I don't know enough about Protestants to draw any conclusions.
And Christian (well, at least Catholic and Orthodox) view of sexuality, while it might seem restrictive from the outside, is coherent and based on viable basis. Of course, there are some devots who still think it is much worse to show a tit in TV than to show dead bodies of terrorist bombing victims, but I don't think it has much to do with Christianity either.
So before you rant, please do some investigation in the subject.
Raf
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2)
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2, Interesting)
Male physical contact was okay until the 1950's or so (Asimov writes about men taking other men by the hand, etc.), when suddenly there was some sort of... hyper-masculinization, I'm not sure how better to describe it. And even so, it's found chiefly in North American so
Re:Humans already do this (Score:3, Insightful)
Let's look at this.
1. Both fans get dressed up as their favorite character/player.
2. They both will buy lots of memorabilia.
3. Both are always glued to the TV to watch their show/game.
4. Both talk non-stop with other people about their show/game...even with people that couldn't give a shit.
5. Both know minute trivia about their favorite show/game.
But one is generally accepted and welcomed in pursuing their passion while the other is
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2)
7. Trekkies who identify heavily with the Klingons will go into heavy debt to their bookies when watching reruns of old trek.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2)
Because one is the bonding obsession of the socially accepted mainstream group, and the other is that of the 'outsider' group, that's why.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:3, Insightful)
Personally, I think most sports fans are a little "gay". They'd rather watch a bunch of sweaty guys jumping all over eachother, than, say fashion TV - where hot models walk down the runway.
Insightfull start but why did you flush it down the toilet with nimwit remark. It even counters your starts.
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2)
Re:Humans already do this (Score:2)
Re:michael jackson (Score:2, Funny)
Nah... (Score:2)
It appears that one of the embedded ad's html is messed up. And since the ads/sponsored links are served somewhat randomly, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
Turn off your javascript and it should display fine for you
Re:Wait.... (Score:3, Funny)