Jodrell Bank Telescope Gets No Signal From Beagle

tipiyano writes "Continuing the story of Beagle 2 from earlier today it seems like the hope for Beagle 2 surviving the landing at Mars is reducing as the Jodrell Bank telescope didn't receive any signal from Beagle. In the words of a mission manager, 'I wasn't too worried about the missed link with Odyssey, but it starts getting serious if Jodrell Bank cannot get a signal either'."

Wow...

[Eric_Cartman_South_P]

Makes all of those lame "NO CARRIER" posts seem all the more serious when NASA has the same pro%#$@#&!*^J@^ATDT[NO CARRIER]

DOA

[the arbiter]

Looks like the Martians got another one...

Looks like someone...

[Valar]

forgot the double-A's again this Christmas...

Everyone is talking about the problems on Earth

[ObviousGuy]

But what about the Beagle's problems? It's all alone on Mars and probably can't signal back it's existence.

Poor thing.

2 possibilities

[Anonymous Coward]

1. The Europeans are as incompetent as the Americunts (naaaaaah!)
2. There is something on Mars which hates space probes!

Meanwhile, on Mars...

[Faust7]

Flight managers ... said they had narrowed Beagle-2's likely landing area to an ellipse just 30 kilometers wide and 5 kilometers long

Yes. All over that area.

Another Triumph

[glomph]

for the Martian Air Defenses!

(Wonder if they buy their flying-saucer fuel from Halliburton?)

They shot another one down

[Anonymous Coward]

1. I think Martians found out what happened to American Natives (American Indians). So they figured they don't want to be annihilated the same way. So they are shooting down the probes. Intelligent life will not try to contact humans. The probes that landed had their cameras pointed to desolate areas to deter humans from thinking about trying to colonize Mars.

2. Perhaps building space probes should be outsourced to India .. better... cheaper etc.. I think?

Re:Everyone is talking about the problems on Earth

[bsharitt]

I would have sent a black lab myself. Beagles never come back.

What OS is running it?

[eforhan]

Maybe it's suffering from the BSOD and no one is there to hit ctrl-alt-del?

Signal degradation

[cybermace5]

Seems like the Beagle team should have coughed up the cash for a Monster Cable surge protector [penny-arcade.com].

Re:Its CHRISTMAS, you smelly nerds!

[3vi1]

> I bet you're all virgins.

Shhhh.... Don't tell my kids.

USS Reliant Spotted in Orbit

[Michael.Forman]

KHAN:
Goodbye, Admiral. Oh, and don't
count on the Beagle. She can't
move. My next act will be to blow
her out of the heavens.

KIRK:
KHAAAN!

(Obscure Star Trek reference craves moderation of the Funny type from hip Gen-Xer with a softspot for nostalgia.)
Michael. [michael-forman.com]

Wow, they have truly adopted the NASA model...

[phillymjs]

...of simply crossing their fingers and hoping everything works out for the best.

~Philly

Re:I'm really not too surprised

[Anonymous Coward]

When will the Europeans learn to just partnerize with the US instead of misunderestimating us...

Yeah, and we could teach them a thing or two about grammar too.

Re:USS Reliant Spotted in Orbit

[Ilan Volow]

NASA Administrator: So, what the hell happened to our probe?

NASA Scientist: We think that it got sucked through a black hole and got seriously upgraded by omnipotent living machines. We'll probably see it again in several hundred years when it returns as an entity called B'agel that threatens to destroy the earth in it's question for knowledge. Hey, it could happen...

Re:Everyone is talking about the problems on Earth

[arth1]

But what about the Beagle's problems? It's all alone on Mars and probably can't signal back it's existence.

It's not alone. It has the company of three other failed Mars probes, and is busy grokking Barsoom.

Regards,
--
*Art

Jordell Bank confirms: Beagle2 is dying!

[SharpFang]

It is now official - Jordell Bank has confirmed: Beagle2 is dying

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Mars exploration community when recently ESA confirmed that Beagle2 accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of chances for survival. Coming on the heels of the latest Jordell Bank signal analysis which plainly states that Beagle2 has lost radio contact, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Beagle2 is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent radiotelescope comprehensive signal search.

You don't need to be a Aldrin to predict Beagle2's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Beagle2 faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Beagle2 because Beagle2 is dying. Things are looking very bad for Beagle2. As many of us are already aware, Beagle2 continues to lose power. Red dust covers it like a river of blood. The lander rover is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core systems. The sudden and unpleasant failures of long time rover systems of traction and cameras only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Beagle2 is dying.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

All major surveys show that Beagle2 has steadily declined in survival chances. Beagle2 is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Beagle2 is to survive at all it will be among martian hobbyist junk collectors. Beagle2 continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Beagle2 is dead.

Fact: Beagle2 is dead

Re:5 watts...Crazy

[LiquidCoooled]

Beagle is fitted with state of the art, top of the range Pringles tin....

Re:What OS is running it?

[Loadmaster]

Or maybe it's waiting for someone to hit the "any" key.

Re:D'oh.

[arth1]

I was having a pretty good Christmas until this news hit... :(

s/s h/ sh/

Think of it in a positive way. It'll save a lot of money that otherwise would be spent analysing the signals and coming up with conclusive evidence that Mars has rocks on it.

Regards,
--
*Art

Re:USS Reliant Spotted in Orbit

[Loadmaster]

B'agel? Quest for knowledge or just a strawberry cream cheese spread?

And in other news...

[HangingChad]

...the Martian Ambassador today announced their intent to "bust a cap in somebody's ass" if the "Earth folk" dropped another lander on them. The ambassador went on to claim the latest attempt to land a scientific instrument package on the Red Planet actually hit his personal vehicle.

"Look what dey did to my damn car!" the ambassador, disguised as a homeless psychotic person in downtown Memphis, TN, insisted. "I'll kick their ass. Dropin' landers and shit all over. Look at that mess!"

The ambassador refused further questions regarding a possible response from Mars, saying only that somebody owed him "a new damn car."

(yes I know it was a joke)

[oobar]

3. Mars is damn hard to land on.

Re:D'oh.

[Anonymous Coward]

Probably want to tighten up that regexp; I doubt he "wa shaving" a pretty good Christmas.

Re:2 possibilities

[blincoln]

2. There is something on Mars which hates space probes!

One downed probe is a technical issue.

Two are a coincidence.

Three is an ancient - but still partially active - Martian missile-defence system. You thought the craters on that planet were from asteroids? Hah, they're all that remains to tell the tale of the nuclear war that wiped Mars clean.

=P

Re:2 possibilities

[mantera]

"2. There is something on Mars which hates space probes!"... i'll go with the second possibility as i doubt anyone likes to be probed..

Re:Everyone is talking about the problems on Earth

[Dorothy 86]

I would have sent a black lab myself. Beagles never come back.

It's not that they just don't come back; they get busy! They
1)become ww2 fighter piolets
or 2)Live in a cactus in the desert

;-)

I got it

[Tablizer]

Maybe they should put some aluminum foil on the antenna. It works for our TV's rabbit ears.

Re:Next time, test it first!

[pipingguy]

Wow! Sounds like the way to run a space program.

The lesson here kids, is, "never try"

- Homer Simpson

Re:Patiently waiting

[Gorimek]

There is no reason to bash the Europeans as a whole as they like to do Americans.

What an odd way to bash Europeans...

They are getting desparate

[Tablizer]

I found a picture of the probe on the back of a milk carton.

Re:Looks like someone...

[Bastian227]

From the article: The air bags would then be cut off, freeing Beagle-2 to flip itself open, pocket-watch style, and send a signal to Odyssey.

No, I think they forgot to wind it.

Re:Its CHRISTMAS, you smelly nerds!

[Crypto Gnome]

For most slashdotters, if it weren't for their hands, they couldn't count.

take it as you read it :-)

.... In Other News

[Crypto Gnome]

PETA heard on the grapevine that ESA was killing beagles, in the pursuit of space exploration.

Expect a strongly worded denunciation and protest march later this week.

last transmission from the beagle

[bbdd]

the craft managed to transmit one final image [famu.org] before the comm links went out.

Maybe the Beagle was made by Leyland

[DABANSHEE]

& just can't cope with wet weather unless a rubber glove is tied arround it's dizzy, I mean its electronics, & it rained on launch day.

Re:Meanwhile, on Mars...

[Trikenstein]

Flight managers ... said they had narrowed Beagle-2's likely landing area to an ellipse just 30 kilometers wide and 5 kilometers long

Yes. All over that area.

Beagle2: Greetings Martians, I come in pieces

Re:When wil they learn?

[Dr. Photo]

Try 1 for 1, not counting Beagle or the current Spirit and Opportunity probes.

Shh... don't jinx it. It'd be tragic to see Spirit crushed, and Opportunity lost. ;-)

Re:2 possibilities

[M1FCJ]

It should be alright as long as Riker is not commanding it. Two times he commanded Enterprise alone, once he crashed the damn thing onto a planet (how can you not miss something that big!!), the second time he almost trashed it, still needed a service though.

Re:When wil they learn?

[gujo-odori]

The Viking landers were around 576 Kilograms, around 200 pounds of which was fuel.

Now, see, that's just the sort of mixing of Metric and Imperial measure that got us in trouble on Mars before :-)

Re:When wil they learn?

[Darby]

Beagle 2 is 68 Kilograms. The Viking landers were around 576 Kilograms, around 200 pounds of which was fuel.

Dude, seriously don't mix up your units. We already crashed one over that.

I have to say it.

[Lost Penguin]

The Beagle is stranded.

Re:2 possibilities

[NickFitz]

You trendy EuroTrash need to spend less time pimping and preening

I don't think anybody has ever previously accused Prof. Colin Pillinger [open.ac.uk] of being a fashion victim...

Linux on board

[Cat_Byte]

Amazing how it's running on Linux and command center is running on Linux and nobody comments on that. If it was Microsoft there would be pages of replies blaming them.