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Biotech Science

Flash-Freezing Squirrels 75

Posted by timothy from the human-volunteers-please dept.
tessaiga writes "ABCNews has an article describing how a student at the University of Alaska (PDF) is conducting research involving supercooling arctic ground squirrels. During hibernation, these squirrels have the ability to reduce their food requirements to almost nothing by supercooling their bloodstream and dropping their internal temperatures to 26F (6 degrees below freezing!). Scientists are investigating how the process occurs without particles in the bloodstream triggering crystalization. The article goes on to mention applications in treating accident victims (to extend the 'golden hour' before brain damage occurs) and human suspended animation."
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Flash-Freezing Squirrels More

Flash-Freezing Squirrels

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  • Reminds me of the Super Monkey Collider (Score:4, Funny)

    by Picass0 ( 147474 ) on Monday October 13, 2003 @07:42PM (#7203393) Homepage Journal
    Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding

    Congress voted Monday to cut federal funding for the superconducting monkey collider, a controversial experiment which has cost taxpayers an estimated $7.6 billion a year since its creation in 1983.

    The collider, which was to be built within a 45-mile-long circular tunnel, would accelerate monkeys to near-light speeds before smashing them together. Scientists insist the collider is an important step toward understanding the universe, because no one can yet say for certain what kind of noises monkeys would make if collided at those high speeds.

    "It could be a thump, a splat, or maybe even a sound that hasn't yet been heard by human ears," said project head Dr. Eric Reed Friday, in an impassioned plea to Congress. "How are we supposed to understand things like the atom or the nature of gravity if we don't even know what colliding monkeys sound like?"

    But Congress, under heavy pressure from the powerful monkey rights lobby, decided that money being spent on the monkey collider would be put to better use in other areas of government. Now, with funding cut off, the future of our nation's monkey collision program looks bleak.

    Congress began funding the monkey collider in 1983, after Reed convinced lawmakers that the U.S. was lagging behind the Soviet Union in monkey-colliding technology. Funds were quickly allocated so that Reed could spend a week procuring monkeys on Florida's beautiful Captiva Island. Though Reed returned with a great tan and a beautiful young fiancee, he reported that there were no monkeys to be found on the sunny Gulf Coast island. Congress funded subsequent trips to the Cayman Islands, Bora Bora and Cancun, but these searches also yielded negative results.

    Two years passed without a single monkey being procured, and Congress was close to cutting the project's funding. It was then that Reed got the idea to utilize monkeys already being bred in captivity. The Congressional Subcommittee for Scientific Investigation was enthralled by the idea of watching caged monkeys copulate, and increased funding by 40 percent.

    With a steady supply of monkeys ensured, construction of the monkey collider began on a scenic Colorado site. Despite environmental pressure, a mountain was levelled to facilitate construction of the seven-mile-wide complex. Huge underground tunnels were dug, at a cost of billions of dollars and 17 lives. Money left over was used to build resort homes, spas and video arcades for Reed, his colleagues and several Congressmen.

    Construction of the collider's acceleration mechanism was delayed for years, as scientists couldn't decide how to get the monkeys up to smashing speed. Last month, it was finally decided that the collider would employ a system in which the monkeys run through the tunnels chasing holographic projections of bananas. "Monkeys love bananas," Reed said, "and they're willing to run extremely fast to get them."

    But now it seems the acceleration mechanism may never be built. With the monkey collider placed on indefinite hold, the huge research facility in Colorado lies dormant. To keep the space from going to waste, Congress Monday voted to convert the empty underground tunnel into a federally funded drag-racing track. The track is expected to create hundreds of jobs in the form of pit crews and concessions workers, and will allow President Clinton to impress important foreign dignitaries with America's wheelie technology.

    Despite this promising alternate plan, most involved with the monkey collider project feel the sudden cuts in funding are inexcusable. "It is a travesty of science," Reed said. "I remember the joy I felt in college when I would launch monkeys at one another with big rubber bands, and this project would have been even more enlightening."

  • Super Geek Connection (Score:3, Interesting)

    by daeley ( 126313 ) * on Monday October 13, 2003 @08:10PM (#7203606) Homepage
    A variety of the New Zealand weta [doc.govt.nz] (a cool cricket for which the LotR FX studio [wetafx.co.nz] is named), has developed special proteins that enable it to survive through harsh alpine winters in a sort of hibernation with up to 80% of its body water frozen.
    • Up to 80%?

      So I guess that means someone collected a whole bunch of these crickets, froze them at various temperatures, and dissected those that died to determine how much of them had to be frozen in order to kill them.

      What a cool job.
  • Anything to get Sigourney Weaver back in her underwear.
  • This page was generated by a Squadron of Psycho Squirrels for Sevn
  • The dude at this URL: Drunken Squirrel [funnybunny.com] is a perfect candidate for freezing. He's already liquored-up. He won't feel a thing!

    "My God, it's full of... fur!" - Dave Bowman, circa 2003

  • It would be very noble to use any development of this student's findings to help accident victims but how long is a voyage to Mars?,I think it is nine months?
    • Well I do.

      But think bigger. The moons of Jupiter and Saturn. Are you going to trust a machine to be able to do everything if you think there really is life in the (possible) ocean out there.

      And every kg saved is amazingly precious on such a long mission. Hell chilled down and packed in, the astronauts could be treated a bit more roughly with the g's. Freeze em down and blast them out from a rail gun in orbit - thats what the ISS should be for.
      • Well said, I could not agree with you more. Lets not forget that the perfect ISS has been revolving around this planet for billions of years, your friend and mine the Moon.
        • The sad thing is I have a viable business plan - aluminium from the regolith using solar power and sold for space construction. To make Solar power satellites to beam to an energy starved planet.

          Don't forget that the water on the moon is amazingly valuable - even at a launch cost of $100/kg the equivalent launch cost is in the trillions to replace it all. Every person approx 50kg water - needs between $10k and $50k of water alone to support them in space over a reasonable period (between 2 and 10 times th
          • Sounds like a great idea. Getting the mass (Water)from the moon to the earth would be a great nich for the Ion engine, slow moving but cheap. There was a great article about beam forming from rolls of malleable metal. the ratio of mass delivered to space and the amount of structural strength that could be formed was very impressive. With the idea of a rail gun on the moon, you could ship your NI-AL spools and with an Ion engine, ship icebergs to the orbit of earth, or even ship ahead (of the manned mars mi
    • Who cares about squirrels in space? That's what I want to know.

      We have the Chinese, now squirrels. Before you know it, the voles will start a space program too.

  • Some kid and his mentor catch squirrels, stick 'em in a pickle jar full of ether, slit 'em open, and sew 'em closed after inserting a rubberized, temperature-sensing Oreo, and you guys are worried about little ol' RFID tags in your t-shirts?!

  • Creepy (Score:4, Funny)

    by Rhinobird ( 151521 ) on Tuesday October 14, 2003 @01:54AM (#7206138) Homepage
    I was reading what he did to the squirrels and was struck by parrelells to alien abductions...consider, the squirrel is looking for food, finds some, then BAM! he's stuck in a cage, moved into an alien environment, thrown in a jar and passes out. When he wakes up he's back in the wild with a new scar on his belly and he can feel an implant. He goes to tell his friends that there are these giant hairless creatures that took him to a strange place and performed experiments on him, but they all think he's crazy.
    • The best part is that the aliens always seem to abduct rednecks. I'm guessing they too are doing studies on supercooling, and they are testing to see if the high alcohol content in the blood of trailer trash will prevent it from freezing.
  • "Duuude, if we can keep the squirrels at 26F, we can overclock them by at least 50%."

    Just what the world needs - supercooled squirrels that run even faster.

    Now no birdfeeder will be safe.

    (Somewhere in here, Foamy from Ill Will Press's [illwillpress.com] "Neurotically Yours" should get mentioned...)

  • 'Dude.. check this out. These squirrels totally shatter when you smash them against the bench!'
    'Cool! Hasta la vista, Tufty!'
    'Very cool.'
    'So, what was supposed to be the aim of this experiment?'
    'Beats me.'
  • I've been flash-freezing shrimp, cow parts, chickens, and many varieties of fish in a contraption known as the "freezer" -- perhaps Mr. Long could benefit from this knowledge.
  • From the article:
    "But before it would be freed, it would become part of an experiment that could someday help suppress human appetites, or even save lives on the battlefield."

    In other words, we torture the squirrels
    so that fatass armchair-Schwartzkopfs
    can get thinner with no effort while
    watching the USA shock and awe people
    on CNN and FOX.
    • From the article:
      "But before it would be freed, it would become part of an experiment that could someday help suppress human appetites, or even save lives on the battlefield."

      In other words, we torture the squirrels
      so that fatass armchair-Schwartzkopfs
      can get thinner with no effort while
      watching the USA shock and awe people
      on CNN and FOX.

      Point the first: I am not torturing squirrels for the reasons you stated. I am torturing them just for fun.
      Point the second: If they all get thinner, they won't be fatas
  • that ain't nothing new...
    me and Bubba been flash-freezin' squirrels for years. `Cept the ones my sister hit with the shotgun.
    Squirrels and buckshot don't do too well...

    For those who don't get the joke, it's a Texas thing. Quite a few people I've known had squirrels in the deep freezer. Makes decent stew, just a bit tough.

    • For those who don't get the joke, it's a Texas thing. Quite a few people I've known had squirrels in the deep freezer. Makes decent stew, just a bit tough.

      I'm from Texas as well, but surprisingly enough I actually know the difference between freezing something and flash-freezing it.
      Of course, it's possible that junk flash-freezer rebuilding has replaced junk trans-am rebuilding as the redneck national sport here in TX, but last time I drove by the trailer park I didn't see a single flash-freezer up on blo
    • Oh yum, tree-rat, just what I want to eat.

      Jaysyn
  • I, for one, welcome our supercooled rodent overlords!
  • (to extend the 'golden hour' before brain damage occurs)

    I guess it's too late for some SCO execs I know.

  • ...laser beams (on sharks no less)

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