Smart Sofa Recognizes Occupants by Weight 353
I am Kobayashi writes "According to CNN.com scientists at Trinity College in Dublin have created my dream couch. And yes, I admit to being a couch potato... Apparently the couch can be programmed with a personal greeting (it recognizes you by weight), and the scientists hope that it will one day be able to automatically tune to your favorite television programs, order you take out food, and control other household appliances."
Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:5, Funny)
Britany finds out it's time to diet: (Score:3, Funny)
Would you like a new box of chocolate cream puffs delivered to you now?
Your reality show from last night is ready to view on the Tivo.
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:5, Funny)
No, we can't get any fatter. If we do, the couch won't recognize us.
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:2)
- It will recognize you from your weight
- It will help you get fatter
People will need to constantly reprogram the thing
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:3, Interesting)
2. I read a lot.
3. I'm a fatty.
I kind of think as myself as having some funky form of OCD, some sort of slightly humorous and completely benign form. My obsessions are efficiency (but in my own backward way) and reading, kind of related.
I read all the time when I'm not engaged in activity with someone else. I read when I go take a dump. I read when I'm eating alone at the table. I read on the bus, and when I'm watitin
Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder if they built an AI into it to intelligently determine who the occupant is by weight gain over time...
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Funny)
Most people can already do this. They use this amazing invention called a remote control.
ObSimpsons (Score:4, Funny)
--Homer
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:2)
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:2)
It's going to go up pretty damn quick if the guy doesn't have to leave the couch for anything but the bathroom.
I can veg out with the best of them, but this? How fricking lazy do you have to be? This thing will tune to your favorite shows automatically. Wow. You don't even have to channel surf for yourself anymore. This is pretty sad.
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:3, Funny)
x = fast food, y = fat content, z = time unites, p = metabolizm.
x * y - p * 3.14^z = weight gain
now, when this couch starts getting serious use it would look something like...
32 /
Now... The metabolizm would possibly go up as well as the fat content go down if u could also order pr0n through the same means... that would be a new varialbe p0...
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Interesting)
If I were a scientist, I'd try to identify people based on their butt prints!
butt print... (Score:3, Interesting)
Let's just hope that the software doesn't create a visual 3d model of someone's ass as a rendered image. *shudder*
Re:butt print... (Score:5, Interesting)
Maybe the pillows wouldn't detect weight itself, but the shape of the imprentation using lots of small censors that detect motion. That motion could be integrated (calculus) to calculate their current position. The individual data points could be used together to figure out someone's current position, how their weight is distributed, and how much they move around over time. However, are there affordable censors that can do that? Alternatively, are there censors that can somehow know their absolute location rather than using calculus?
Re:butt print... (Score:2)
Re:butt print... (Score:2)
Re:butt print... (Score:2)
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:2)
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:2)
No two skid marks are the same, I suppose.
Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:2)
In that case, maybe identifying by weight would be more accurate: no weight change! Maybe that's why they're targeting hospitals for the technology?
Great idea (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Great idea (Score:5, Funny)
I think company's sell "sofas" because "couches" are perceived as things slothy people buy. Lazy people "lounge on the couch" on the weekends. The American culture always uses the word "couch" to describe unmotivated people's television watching habits.
But in the eyes of marketers, consumers must see sofas as possessions of elegant, worldly people who are out and about. Motivated, outgoing people buy "sofas" to decorate their posh interiors! "No couches for me, sir, I want a sofa!"
Re:Great idea (Score:2)
Re:Great idea (Score:2)
A: Get me a coke.
B: sure, what kind
A: how about mountain dew
Re:Great idea (Score:2)
Perhaps I could modify one to yell out "Phheewww! That stinks!" for the mother-in-law when she cuts an SBD and looks at me like I did it.
This particular model... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This particular model... (Score:5, Funny)
Weight fluctuates and people can weigh the same (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Weight fluctuates and people can weigh the same (Score:3, Interesting)
"Look at my Tivo usage logs - I was watching TV at that time!" and "Check the couch! The couch doesn't lie! But I was lying - on the couch!"
Why hasn't Law & Order or any other cop show done an episode where a suspect is ruled out because they were watching Tivo at the time of the crime as proven by the logs on the PVR and his intelligent couch. Sheesh.
In my perfect world you end that episode showing the super smart computer person putting a timer delay on a pronto remote con
Re:Weight fluctuates and people can weigh the same (Score:2, Funny)
Intelligent couch? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Intelligent couch? (Score:5, Funny)
Wait, no I don't.
Butt... (Score:2)
*honken*
Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:5, Funny)
Or kids jump on the couch and break it.
Or 2 kids sit next to each other in the space it takes to fit me, and the TV tunes it to my favorite porn station
or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...
This sounds pretty crappy to me
Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:4, Funny)
Dude, if losing a few founds gets you to your wife's weight then you seriously need to bulk up or you are definitely closing your eyes when you get your nookie at night.
Re:GOATSE WARNING!!! DONT CLICK LINK! (Score:2)
And, since the grandparent mentioned David St. Hubbins: on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is horrific, cottage-cheese-filled-balloon-ass fat, I have to say that the pics at that link go to eleven .
Here Goes Clippy (Score:5, Funny)
So say I sit down with my backpack on may lap, it gets me wrong.
Clippy: So, you gain 20 pounds in just 2 days. Would you like to:
[ ] Enroll as sumo wrestler (you are qualified now)
[ ] Enroll in Taco Gym
[ ] Cowboyneal!
[ ] All of above
I had the opposite thought (Score:2)
And really, who sits on a couch with a backpack anyway? You're supposed to careless toss them on the floor first.
Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:4, Funny)
(Those Garfield comics where Garfield trashes the talking scale don't seem quite so farfetched now ...)
Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:2)
*Yes "/.ers have no girlfreind trolls", note that I used 'the' as in singular, I realize there isn't too many!
Re:This sounds pretty crappy to me :) (Score:2)
It would seem better to me to go high tech and put in an RFID system. It could read the chip in the head of the key to your car or some other RFID tag you are likely to have on you. Maybe have his and hers TV remotes with a tag the sofa would recognise. Maybe a scale is cheaper.
Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:2)
"Kids, please stop that. I mean it, stop it. I said, 'STOP!'" *grumble*
Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:3, Funny)
I hope this part is a joke... (Score:3, Informative)
this kind of automatic buying stuff (like MS
Re:I hope this part is a joke... (Score:2)
anything that tries to automatically spend your money on personal things like tickets or food will either need so much customisation and confirmation input that it's quicker to do it yourself, or will just get everything wrong.
Re:Anonymous Coward's Axiom (Score:2)
Corollary: you suck.
Some issues... (Score:2)
Sounds like a cool idea though...
Re:Some issues... (Score:2)
Just a thought (as a good slashdotter, I didn't actually read the article, so I'm just assuming they don't say anything about it), but I would suspect that different people sit differently. Some people sit up straight, some sprawl back, etc. I wonder if people's sitting positions could be tracked as well, in order to make a determination if weight is ambiguous.
I'm not impressed. (Score:5, Informative)
And they got on CNN? Obviously the rest of us just aren't trying hard enough.
Real geeks don't want that couch, they want funny-looking ergonomic sofas [bodywave.co.uk] or something with a built-in stereo and drink holder.
Read the article... (Score:5, Informative)
It's in development, and has plans to be used to assist the elderly and those in hospitals.
This is not some way to keep people indoors, or track their TV habits, or any of the other conspiracy baloney that will sure to be brought up soon.
Not quite (Score:3, Insightful)
I wouldn't put too much credibility in these "applications" just yet - I suspect this is what's known in the business world as having a solution, and fishing for a problem. As the pr
Re:Read the article... (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Read the article... (Score:5, Funny)
I don't get it. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I don't get it. (Score:3, Funny)
Perfect. They can sell it on late night infomercials.
Ron: Are you tired of turning on your own TV?
Bimbo: Oh, Ron I hate that!
Ron: How many times has this happened to you? [Actor on screen drops remote under the sofa and fumbles around while showing copious amounts of crack]
Bimbo: Constantly! That is quality time out of your life that you will never get back!
Ron: Then you need the Lay-Z-Homer 3000*
and so on...
*Borrowed from above.
Amazing. (Score:2)
Just what the world needs. Now instead of getting that one bit of exercise required to find the remote, you can just shift your weight a little.
Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to los (Score:5, Funny)
Just imagine watching the superbowl, when you pick up a chip. Only to have your couch tell you "Put down the chip chubby."
Re:Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to (Score:5, Funny)
"Get up and take out the trash like you said you were going to THREE DAYS AGO YOU WORTHLESS BUM!!"
Or..
"If I find another porno in the DVD player you're not getting any for a month!"
Or..
"Honey, I'm sorry but I'm leaving you for Mandingo. I hope you and your couch have a happy life together YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH!!"
This could be bad. Very bad...
Re:Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to (Score:2)
Who cares? What with providing entertainment and getting food for you, it seems that a wife would be redundant.
Re:Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to (Score:2)
This would be the only reason to buy it. A couch that tells you to stop watching TV and go outside is what most of society needs right now.
ummm (Score:5, Funny)
say i'm sitting on the couch... some loose change falls out of my pocket.... i get up...
now the couch thinks my leperchaun is sitting there and plays the irish channel all day long. that would be so annoying.
This is a huge improvement (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This is a huge improvement (Score:2)
Ha, that's nothing. When I was at uni we tried something like this but we didn't have any fancy bluetooth technology. Try embedding an RS232 port up your ass and then plugging in without bending any pins.
"Hey Fatass..." (Score:5, Funny)
Great, just what I need.
I've lost so much weight (Score:5, Funny)
hello... (Score:2, Funny)
Lose Weight Spam (Score:2)
"Lose Weight Now!!! fkjl;ahfhlkadflsfkjd;alkjg"
Just what I need... (Score:2)
weight catalog (Score:2, Interesting)
Fit for the real world? (Score:4, Interesting)
Those lucky of you who live with your wife/girlfriend and have 'your own' couch, does your partner really use it when you are not there?
Maybe a simple 'ass present' sensor would be sufficient..
--
I'm a-huga bimbo
Help me, Jesus (Score:2)
Why, oh why, don't mod points work on articles?
now THIS is a privacy issue (Score:2)
Back at the thoughtpolice headquaters:
"32432789 likes monster drinks and swansons tv dinners!"
"no kidding! he's pushing 215!"
(pounds you metric barbarians)
Wow (Score:2)
I think it's time for the monguls and huns to run us over and pilliage our cities.
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
"Judgement in favor of the defendent: Justifiable homicide."
Oh great, an electronic wife (Score:2, Funny)
Dumbest idea ever. (Score:2)
Either way, all of this is very easy to do...I will be amazed if they sell any one of these operating tables...i mean couches
Seriously...this is nothing
Why wasn't this story submitted by (Score:2)
"You killed the sofa, you bastid!"
weight (Score:2)
Bluetooth/Wireless MACs? (Score:2)
Ding Dong! the doorbell rings.. (Score:3, Funny)
Cut to frame of just door handle.. hand reaches in from left of frame and turns handle.
Door opens showing a delivery boy holding a pizza and asking, "Who ordered the large extra-cheese sausage?"
Cut to close up of husband's face looking puzzled.. then turns to look over shoulder with a stern look of annoyance.
Cut to full-frame shot of the three-section sofa.
"COUCH!!!" comes a voice from off screen (ala Hogan's Heroes).. Cue the canned laugher from 80s sitcoms.
lets use weight to recognize terrorists too (Score:3, Funny)
Gee, maybe in just thirty or fourty years these scientists will figure out some way to interface their fantastic wonderful invention into an ordinary TV remote control! Even without the clue of using a biometric like weight to try to distinguish people, did anyone else get the feeling these sientists might not be the cream of the crop?
Maybe I'm missing something... (Score:2, Insightful)
It's cool that a room can know who I am (to set the preferred lighting level or whatnot), but why should a couch care? To show me what I want to watch on TV? That's a pretty complex algorithm that's taken me weeks to more-or-less teach to my TiVO...I don't want to have to teach it to my couch too. I despair of ever having furniture that can guess when I'll want to eat (let alone what), since even my GF hasn't proven too adept at that
this could only happen in.. (Score:2)
Can you say HYPE!!! (Score:2)
Sometimes I despise articles like this!
There are better ways to identify users... (Score:3, Interesting)
Seriously, if we want music, lights, and the temperature to respond to who's in the room, aren't we better off with some voice recognition software? You and I have seen it on Star Trek - it looks like fun. =)
Basic voice recognition would be feasible for this purpose. "Room, this is Joe. You know how I like it." Plus, there won't be nearly as many issues as this uncomfortable sofa will have. How is a sofa with a weight sensor supposed to know what to do when people are holding bags, or have just been to a buffet, or has a friend on the couch with them, or is jumping on the couch, or all of the above?
TiVo (Score:2)
OK, the sofa is dumb, but there is at least one situation where a home appliance would benefit from a way to identify the individual who's controlling it, with as little interaction as possible.
TiVo makes recommendations based on the shows you tell it you like and the shows you tell it you hate, but if there's more than one person feeding it preferences, it has imperfect data and gives poorer suggestions than it otherwise could. The idea of user profiles is so common that TiVo's own
"Science"??? (Score:2)
Oprah? (Score:2)
-Greetings, new sofa occupant. Who are you?
-You stupid piece of furniture, it's me, Oprah! I 0wnz y00, remember?
-I'm sorry, your weight does not match my database. You must be an imposter. Please get off me.
-No way, I'm gonna watch my old re-runs. I'm staying put.
-Help! HELP! I'm being used illegaly!
-OK, OK, I'm leaving! What the... Steadmean, I've gotten into the sofa and I can't get up!
i don't find this very funny (Score:2)
firstly, i've NEVER grokked this whole lazy-e-boy-that-vibrates-and-has-a-frige-and-beer
Also converts automatically into casket (Score:3, Funny)
Detects extended period of inactivity. Comes complete with 8 liters of embalming fluid.
That could be embarrasing.. (Score:2)
Re:That could be embarrasing.. (Score:3, Funny)
Application: Car seats (Score:4, Insightful)
Still, as other people mentioned, it sounds like a solution in search of a problem.
Re:Uh oh... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I know how it would respond... (Score:3, Funny)
"hey, one person at a time please!"
Re:What if... (Score:4, Funny)
And this is a problem how, exactly? :)