Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off

Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off 573

Posted by timothy on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:54PM from the in-post-soviet-russia dept.

howhardcanitbetocrea writes "A mysterious software fault in the new guidance computer of the Soyuz TMA-1 spacecraft was the cause of the high-anxiety off-course landing over the weekend, according to NASA sources.' Which is why I will never trust the Strategic Defence Initiative - the star wars project. It only takes one line of mistyped code in what will always be a beta release."

Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off

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In Soviet Russia... (Score:5, Funny)

by TheVidiot ( 549995 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:55PM (#5887382) Homepage

ahhh... it's just too obvious!

In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

by Surak ( 18578 ) * writes: <surakNO@SPAMmailblocks.com> on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:56PM (#5887395) Homepage Journal

Microsoft announced that a patch to "Windows XP for Spacecraft" will be available on Wednesday.

A Moderate Error :-) (Score:5, Funny)

by Scoria ( 264473 ) * writes: <`slashmail' `at' `initialized.org'> on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:57PM (#5887397) Homepage

Russian Engineer: Hey, were you able to find time to convert those figures to metric?
United States Engineer: Oh, yes!

Great... (Score:5, Funny)

by DCowern ( 182668 ) * writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:59PM (#5887415) Homepage

Now we have frikken astronauts beating up on poor anonymous software developpers... quoth the article

There was also the real possibility of crew error, and on Sunday, the head of the corporation that builds and operates the Soyuz spacecraft, Yuriy Semyonov, suggested that "one of the Americans" had pushed the backup-mode activation button. Bowersox was the only American who had any active role in the descent (it was astronaut Donald Pettit's job to follow the checklists), and he denied touching the button -- which, he joked, was being guarded carefully by Russian cosmonaut Nikolai Budarin. "We don't think we did anything to cause that to happen," he later said to a NASA press official.

Yeah... right... if I had a nickle for every time I heard an end user say something similar to that ("I swear I didn't touch anything... it just... crashed..." or "The files just... disappeared! Gone! Disappeared! I didn't do anything!") I'd have...well...a lot of nickles...

/me mumbles bittlerly and goes back into his development hole :P

SDI? (Score:3, Funny)

by Tailhook ( 98486 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @09:59PM (#5887420)

"Which is why I will never trust the Strategic Defence Initiative - the star wars project"

Strategic Defence Initiative = the star wars project

What was the thinking behind clarifying that to the Slashdot crowd?

Microprocessor, main processing unit of your computer...

Re:Why single out SDI? (Score:3, Funny)

by benna ( 614220 ) * writes: <mimenarrator@g m a i l .com> on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:00PM (#5887427) Journal

Yes but SDI may end up actually sending a laser beam to burn your house down. A FUCKING LASER BEAM!

Re:In Soviet Russia... (Score:5, Funny)

by Scoria ( 264473 ) * writes: <`slashmail' `at' `initialized.org'> on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:00PM (#5887428) Homepage

No, it isn't. I haven't ever observed this joke. Is this intended to be humorous? In Soviet Russia, what? I'm confused. :-)

Destructive Testing (Score:5, Funny)

by peacefinder ( 469349 ) writes: <(moc.liamg) (ta) (ttiwed.nala)> on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:01PM (#5887443) Journal

"Which is why I will never trust the Strategic Defence Initiative - the star wars project. It only takes one line of mistyped code in what will always be a beta release."

Well, let's hope it stays in beta. Real world testing would be a major bummer!

Re:In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

by jrl87 ( 669651 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:02PM (#5887451)

I've already got it...

I can't even lauch my rocket now ...

I press the launch button and it starts to fire up the engine but then the engine falls of and the rocket breaks apart...

Do you know when they're going to release the patch for the patch?

IN POST-SOVIET RUSSIA (actually KAZAKHSTAN) (Score:4, Funny)

by sulli ( 195030 ) * writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:12PM (#5887528) Journal

the dept. forgets to read YOU!

Re:Why single out SDI? (Score:4, Funny)

by FredThompson ( 183335 ) writes: <fredthompsonNO@SPAMmindspring.com> on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:14PM (#5887551)

Yeah, well, the computer chip in your car would make the engine blow up while you're driving at high speed on a crowded road. THE FUCKING ROAD!!! A traffic signal could go wrong and you could get in an accident. A FUCKING ACCIDENT!!! The guidance system on an airplane could have a glitch and you crash. A FUCKING AIRPLANE!!! The registers in the supermarket use lasers to determine your bill. FUCKING LASER BEAMS!!!

You're being FUCKING STUPID!!!

TMA? (Score:5, Funny)

by quantaman ( 517394 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:27PM (#5887635)

A mysterious software fault in the new guidance computer of the Soyuz TMA-1 spacecraft was the cause of the high-anxiety off-course landing over the weekend, according to NASA sources.'

Of course it had problems! The ships AI was given conflicting instructions which told it not to tell the crew about the mysterious monolith on the moon the ISS is really put up there to observe! Just be glad neither of them had to go EVA and repair the AE-35 unit...

new voice controlled spacecraft (Score:5, Funny)

by 192939495969798999 ( 58312 ) writes: <info AT devinmoore DOT com> on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:33PM (#5887673) Homepage Journal

captain: +16 degrees, HAL.
computer: +60 it is.
(short pause while traveling at mach 25)
captain: oh S*!
computer: "oh S*" command not found. Say "enter" to continue.
captain: enter, my ass!
computer: i'm not that kind of computer.

CNN article mentions Soyuz shotguns (Score:5, Funny)

by IvyMike ( 178408 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:36PM (#5887702)

The CNN article [cnn.com] on the off-course landing was much cooler. Here's the excerpt I liked:

Eleven years before that, two cosmonauts overshot their touchdown site by 2,000 miles and found themselves deep in a forest with hungry wolves. That's when Russian space officials decided to pack a sawed-off shotgun aboard every spacecraft.

I always wondered why my guy in Doom had a shotgun in space. I guess now I know. :)

Re:ah, right (Score:2, Funny)

by Kaeru the Frog ( 152611 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:37PM (#5887703)

Heh..

10 LAT = LAT + 1
20 LONG = LONG + 1
30 GOSUB FIRELASER
40 GOTO 10

I know it won't cause as much destruction as possible but I've forgoten how to for loops in Basic. Besides, everybody knows gotos are funnier.

Re:CNN article mentions Soyuz shotguns (Score:2, Funny)

by albamuth ( 166801 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:44PM (#5887753) Homepage

Charleton Heston would have been a lot better off when facing those apes...

"This...is my BOOMSTICK!"

Re:How did you bring SDI into this? (Score:3, Funny)

by PissedOffGuy ( 612092 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:46PM (#5887767)

you're an idiot. the point is that the whole article is a troll, much like most other articles on slashdot. oh but wait, you're a troll too.

Re:In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

by the uNF cola ( 657200 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:49PM (#5887791)

Forgive the pun, but you need a non-warez activation key. After billy gave away his, everyone has been false-launching the rocket.

Re:ah, right (Score:5, Funny)

by Rolo Tomasi ( 538414 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @10:54PM (#5887826) Homepage Journal

Judging from the PATRIOT III missile system we used in Kuwait recently, the technology is just getting better and better.
Yeah, those British blokes in their Tornado never knew what hit them.

a bug in the SDI code could suck. (Score:3, Funny)

by sstory ( 538486 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @11:07PM (#5887898) Homepage

I mean, I'd hate to be shot in the face by a space laser.

Re:ah, right (Score:4, Funny)

by sean23007 ( 143364 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @11:27PM (#5888032) Homepage Journal

Maybe it's best not to bring these kinds of situations up. After all, we might start bombing fishing boats and FedEx trucks on account of the clear and present danger they obviously pose to national security...

Offending code found in code review... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @11:33PM (#5888069)

char *string = "seineew era sreenignE ASAN";

char foobar[10];

strcpy(foobar,string);

display();

In Soviet Russia ... (Score:0, Funny)

by njchick ( 611256 ) writes: on Monday May 05, 2003 @11:44PM (#5888131) Journal

wrong buttons press YOU!

Re: In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) writes: on Tuesday May 06, 2003 @12:07AM (#5888259)

> I've already got it... I can't even lauch my rocket now ...

Ask your doctor about Viagra.

Greedy moderator bastards.... (Score:2, Funny)

by Leeji ( 521631 ) writes: <slashdotNO@SPAMleeholmes.com> on Tuesday May 06, 2003 @12:37AM (#5888400) Homepage

You greedy moderators are all bastards. I wanted to mod this +funny, but selfish moderators before me already capped the post! CAPPED THE FUCKING POST!!!

Re:Bugs = "Spoilage" in Japan (Score:3, Funny)

by t0ny ( 590331 ) writes: on Tuesday May 06, 2003 @02:00AM (#5888737)

Calling a fault a bug is historical.
First computer bug [navy.mil]. You will need to scroll down to the bottom to see the it. The rest of the page talks about Grace Hopper, who helped coin the phrase.
Does anyone else find it ironic that Grace Hopper found a bug?

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Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off 573

Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off More Login

Software Bug Causes Soyuz To Land Way Off

In Soviet Russia... (Score:5, Funny)

In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

A Moderate Error :-) (Score:5, Funny)

Great... (Score:5, Funny)

SDI? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Why single out SDI? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:In Soviet Russia... (Score:5, Funny)

Destructive Testing (Score:5, Funny)

Re:In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

IN POST-SOVIET RUSSIA (actually KAZAKHSTAN) (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Why single out SDI? (Score:4, Funny)

TMA? (Score:5, Funny)

new voice controlled spacecraft (Score:5, Funny)

CNN article mentions Soyuz shotguns (Score:5, Funny)

Re:ah, right (Score:2, Funny)

Re:CNN article mentions Soyuz shotguns (Score:2, Funny)

Re:How did you bring SDI into this? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:ah, right (Score:5, Funny)

a bug in the SDI code could suck. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:ah, right (Score:4, Funny)

Offending code found in code review... (Score:1, Funny)

In Soviet Russia ... (Score:0, Funny)

Re: In other news.... (Score:3, Funny)

Greedy moderator bastards.... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Bugs = "Spoilage" in Japan (Score:3, Funny)

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