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Science Technology

Old Age Simulator 207

Posted by michael from the strap-on dept.
quackking writes "Tired of being young and healthy? Now you can simulate your own old age. This story describes a sensory-modification suit which, among other things, selectively blocks out certain sound frequencies, and lets you experience arthritis."
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Old Age Simulator More

Old Age Simulator

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  • And if this sounds like too much work... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Jace of Fuse! ( 72042 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:45PM (#4888377) Homepage
    If using this sounds like too much work, you can just put it off and eventually it will all sort it's self out in the end.

  • 29 years old and ready for grave (Score:1, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Well, I'm 29 years old and I feel so old and tired already...

  • Old age? (Score:5, Funny)

    by DavidLeblond ( 267211 ) <me@dCOFFEEavidleblond.com minus caffeine> on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:45PM (#4888384) Homepage
    That doesn't sound very fun. What about a young-person simulator for the older folks?

  • I want the opposite. (Score:5, Funny)

    by stripmarkup ( 629598 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:48PM (#4888397) Homepage
    I'm already old and unhealthy. Will I feel young and healthy if I wear that suit inside-out? What happens if I wear it as is? Do I die?

  • You mean like this? (Score:4, Funny)

    by wiggys ( 621350 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:48PM (#4888399)
    "When I were a lad we had to manage with less than a gigabyte of memory. My computer could only manage a billion operations per second and hard-drives were typically around the 120 gig level and we thought that was huge!

    You lot don't know you're born..."

  • cheaper alternative (Score:5, Funny)

    by selderrr ( 523988 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:50PM (#4888411) Journal
    get kids. In no time, your hearing capabilities get reduced fenomenaly, and once they weigh over 15kg, arthritis is instantaneous.

    Aditionally, they give you migraine and insomnia, and once they get into puberty, a stroke seems more familiar than a quiet day.

  • Old != Decrepit (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:50PM (#4888412)
    This is just a worse case scenario. Look at Sean Connery. He's 72. This would be a good scare tactic for young people who don't take care of themselves.
    • It's not a worst case scenario. It's an average case scenario. The 70 year old athlete isthe exception, not the rule.

      They're using good business sense to designed products to a larger customer base. Even Sean Connery, liver spots and all, would appreciate better designed ergonomics.

    • Hollywood's reality distortion (Score:4, Insightful)

      by g4dget ( 579145 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @06:03PM (#4888988)
      Hollywood distorts reality terribly: between make up, digital image enhancements, plastic surgery, and careful media managment, almost anybody and everybody seems to stay "youthful" until they unexpectedly die. Most Hollywood stars in real life don't look anything like what they look like on screen even when they are young.

      If you exercise moderately and don't smoke, you'll extend your life somewhat and are at lower risk of some unpleasant diseases. Beyond that, it's out of your control.

  • Is sometimes useful to gain understanding about it.
    • I'm an architecture major, and I've talked with a few professors who for one reason or another had to spend an amount of time getting around in a wheelchair or caring for someone stuck in a wheelchair. And they've all said that it has been a really enlightning experience for them, and has affected the way they design. I'm not particularly eager to hurt myself, but I think going through a physically limiting experience would make me a better designer.
    • Is sometimes useful to gain understanding about it.

      I'd like to simulate some infirmities which don't exist in reality.

      For instance, what about those glasses which are like sideways periscopes and simulate your eyes being about a foot apart. Aparently this produces a very unsettling change in depth perception. However, aside from Ted Kennedy, how many people actually suffer from this condition?

      In this vein, I would like to propose an annual shoe exchange and Mile Walk to promote understanding and compassion.

  • Other Features (Score:5, Funny)

    by Cyno01 ( 573917 ) <Cyno01@hotmail.com> on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:52PM (#4888419) Homepage
    Does the suit thingy force you to tell 'back in my day' stories about walking uphill in the snow barefoot to chop firewood and spend a nickle on a movie?

  • This doesn't sound like a very good simulator (Score:5, Interesting)

    by wiggys ( 621350 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:52PM (#4888420)
    Cycling at 70? Impossible," concluded 23-year-old Julia, testing the suit for the benefit of the readers of the mass-selling Bild newspaper. The joints, deliberately stiffened, prevented her getting even one leg over the bike.

    Well how come my finacee's grandmother cycles 4 miles per day most days? She's far fitter than I am, and I'm 27!

    Not to mention this guy. [jacklalanne.com] He's 86 and would probably make most Slashdotters look about 186...

    • Really, In my old age I plan to have sufered a car accident leaving me paralyzed from the waist down. Will this simulate that??

      It would be nice if our joints stiffened on a predictable schedule. If we all had arthritis with the same severity at the same age.

      I can understand where this might aid in usability studies and the like (of course, you could just hire 75 year olds to test products) but I worry that statements like Julia's could have the opposite effect. The young believeing that every elderly person is some sort of invalid. Statements such as "I could barely buy a rail ticket" implies that anyone over the age of 60 is incapable of being fit and lively.

      Heck, why not design a suit that simulates being thirtyish. Give everyone a bad back, too little sleep, make the joints in the suit pop incessantly between 8:00 and 9:00 in the morning. Put twenty pounds in the thighs and belly of the suit, and small needles in the ass to simulate your newly found irritable bowel and hemorroids. A visor that slightly blurrs the vision to simulate staring at a monitor all day and that monday hangover you get from trying to prove you can still party. Same pins in the hand to simulate your carpal tunnel.

      "I couldn't even ride a bike!" says Julia, 18. "After sitting for 8 hours in that office chair staring at a monitor, My back hurt too bad, and the bike seat aggrivated my Hemmoroids." Another user concluded "I couldn't even buy a rail ticket. My eyes were exhausted from staring into a CRT all day, I couldn't read the schedule, and benefits and taxes consumed so much of my pay check that I could barely afford the rail anyway."

      The Thirty-something suit should also include a 25 lb. weight that is strapped on the chest when they get home to simulate their children.

      I guess as much as we know that this is not every thirty year old, we should realize that the "Old Suit" is not every elderly person. Also, we need to realize that over time you become accustomed to your joints becoming stiff, you eyesight fading. To have it happen in 30 seconds as opposed to 30 years is bound to have a more drastic effect.

      ~Hammy
    • A few people have good genes: it runs in the family. Maybe you do, too, but don't count on it.

      Of course, fitness and healthy eating will tend to reduce the effects of aging no matter how good or bad your genes are, but don't count on being youthful at 70 no matter how virtuous you live.

    • You don't have to have amazing genes. The key is to start riding now, keep at it. Maintaining fitness is a lot easier at that age than building it. Here's a guy I used to ride with [duro.org]. ... he recently celebrated his 80th birthday with a big group ride of 80 kilometers ...

      And arthritis? I was diagnosed with it at 21. Tying this suit to a particular age is very crude at best.

      • The idea is to recreate typical, not universal experiences of aging. Too many people think they they are somehow immune from any kind of decrepitude just because a few elderly people manage to be very healthy. It's something to hope and strive for, but it's not realistic to count on it.
    • Not to mention this guy. [jacklalanne.com]
      Well, we know he's authentically old. If any young person looked at that website, their eyes would start bleeding.
  • there should be an old age simulator...

    WITH XRAY VISION

    I mean seriously, by the time I'm that old, the xray vision goggles will be mass produced

  • Cheaper Version (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    I thought you could just hang out by a reactor core to quickly experience the effects of old age. Radiation is available very cheaply.

  • Inspirational (Score:5, Funny)

    by Golias ( 176380 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:53PM (#4888427)
    Sounds like it was designed to make aging baby boomers want to kill themselves now, saving money in the Social Security system.

    "This is what you got to look forward to, if you keep haning around. Shall I call Dr. Kevorkian now? We have his office on speed-dial."

    Will version II of the suit also screw up your short-term memory and give you bad skin?

    • Will version II of the suit also screw up your short-term memory and give you bad skin?
      I don't know about this bad skin, man, but, uhm, what was I talking about, ah, short term memory! I have a way to screw it like totally, man. It gives me droopy eyelids and bloodshot eyes but makes me like totally insightful. I'm baffled as to why it doesn't show in the moderation of my comments.

    • Re:Inspirational (Score:5, Funny)

      by InsaneCreator ( 209742 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:31PM (#4888573)
      Will version II of the suit also screw up your short-term memory and give you bad skin?

      It seems old people and pot-smoking teenagers have more in common than I thought... ;)
    • Will version II of the suit also screw up your short-term memory and give you bad skin?

      No, but it will make you afraid to drive faster than 25mph, and you'll have the turn signal on all the time whether you're turning or not.

      ~Philly
    • I think the suit is actually not presently version one, I think the article said it was version III.

  • also known as (Score:4, Funny)

    by Joe the Lesser ( 533425 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:54PM (#4888432) Homepage Journal
    The new virtual funland: Geriatric Park!

  • Ford uses these... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by BSDevil ( 301159 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:54PM (#4888434) Journal
    According to this [wired.com] Wired article, Ford has developed one of these systems (they're calling it the third age suit), designed to add thirty years to your age so that their designers can get a sense of how old people feel in their cars. The guys that designed the Focus all had to wear these things for a while and play with Ford's other cars when they were in the design stages of teh interior, to get a sens of what worked and what didn't for older people.

    I also find it neat that the Toyota Echo was expressely designed for older people (or says the dealer). Personally, I thought older people liked to drive huge cars like Buicks and Caddies (even ones from the eighties), but my grandmother has an Echo and loves it. The seats are high up and the hood is short for more visability, and all the nobs and dials seem bigger than usual for cars that size. Makes me laugh seeing twenty-somethings driving them...
    • Do they simulate driving on the wrong side of the road at rush hour, too? How about spending 2 hours parked on your neighbor's driveway trying to work a garage door that is obviously not yours?

      No realism!

    • "Wired article, Ford has developed one of these systems (they're calling it the third age suit), designed to add thirty years to your age so that their designers can get a sense of how old people feel in their cars."

      Does it slouch you down so that you're looking under the top of the steering wheel? Does it come with a silly hat? Does the suit keep the turn signal on? I thought the suit was only used on Crown Vics and the likes.
    • I also find it neat that the Toyota Echo was expressely designed for older people... Makes me laugh seeing twenty-somethings driving them...

      Ah, but that's the greatest unsung benefit of usability engineering... by making something easier to use for diminished perception or interaction users, it becomes easier for everyone. Just because I can see eight-point font doesn't mean I want to, or that it wouldn't be easier in 14-point, even for me, a user of average vision.

  • Future plans... (Score:5, Funny)

    by updog ( 608318 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:55PM (#4888442) Homepage
    The helmet has a visor which both restricts the line of vision and wraps it in a dull yellowish tinge.

    Future plans include a picture of Janet Reno visible from the inside of the helmet, to simulate impotence... (ok, that's not very nice :-)

  • Age Explorer is a Elderly-discriminating Machine (Score:5, Insightful)

    by digital_freedom ( 453387 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @03:56PM (#4888450)
    Simulate arthritis? Make all of you joints ache? Is this what being old is for all of the elderly? I think not, my friend's father is well over 70 years old, but he bikes everyday, works out, and lives an active lifestyle. Sure he doesn't rave every weekend like a 20 year old, but he lives a very fulfilling life. I'm going skiing with him in a week. This article paints a picture that this machine shows how elderly feel, but in my opinion it paints an extreme case. The elderly can have productive pain free lives.

    How they do this, is by taking care of themselves while they are young. Eating right and exercising are great ways to keep you body working at peak performance, so when you do get old, everything still works.

    This machine would have the people who try it believe that all the elderly feel this bad all the time. It might lead some to think that euthanasia is the answer or that we should treat the elderly as helpless people, unable to even get onto a bike. Perhaps we shouldn't even let them drive.

    A better machine would be one that would show the effects of aging based on the wearer's health, fitness, and diet today and project how they would be in 40 years or so with those same habits. It may reinforce their good health now, or for those who are overweight, show them how diabetes, arthritis, and other diseases will stem from their current state. Then the wearer could see how it would feel if they actually took better care of themselves now. Now that would be a good machine for exploring old age.

    • Re:Age Explorer is a Elderly-discriminating Machin (Score:5, Insightful)

      by mesocyclone ( 80188 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:27PM (#4888558) Homepage Journal
      Contrary to the fantasies of the young, much of how you feel as you age depends on luck and genetics, not lifestyle. Lifestyle certainly counts, but we don't even know what is best. For example, exercise a lot and if you aren't lucky and careful, you will have *more* arthritis as you age. Eat well and when you get old you may discover that what was thought was eating well was no longer the best.

      I had the misfortune to contract an intestinal infection relatively young. It triggered an autoimmune disorder that has caused me trouble for over 20 years. Lifestyle had nothing to do with it! Now I am an old fart with arthritis (and not from overexercising I guarantee you!). Friends of mine who were in took care of themselves are dead from various causes (cancer, stroke, etc).

      People want to believe they are immortal and in control of things. I see this the most in pilots (which I used to be) as they analyze how *they* wouldn't make the stupid mistakes that just killed one of their peers. The cult of exercise is a similar psychological phenomenon. A lot of people believe, deep down, that if they exercise well and eat the right stuff (and maybe avoid pesticides or power plants, or wear tin hats when the UFOs fly over), they will live forever... or at least long enough that they need not consider their mortality. I think this is one reason that people have such extreme emotional reactions to certain kinds of risk - such as nuclear power or trace chemical contaminants.

      There is no doubt that moderate exercise is better than no exercise, and that overweight is worse than not being overweight. Beyond that, it's far less clear what to do. Probably the most important determinant, for someone in our prosperous society, is what parents they chose.

      • Re:Age Explorer is a Elderly-discriminating Machin (Score:2, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward
        Probably the most important determinant, for someone in our prosperous society, is what parents they chose.

        You got to pick your parents??? Why didn't somebody tell me this before? I got stuck with the afraid-the-computer-will-explode-any-minute mother and a let's-open-the-case-and-see-how-much-damage-we-can -cause father. But geez, if I'd known that I had a choice!
    • Seriosuly. My grandfather just turned 72, and do you want to guess which one of us has arthritis?

      Yeah, Me. Im 21. I know when its going to rain (pain in my knees, thanks to surgery) and when its going to snow (pain in my elbow, thanks to dislocations and a break). I can get out and job for about 1 mile before i fall over and light up a cigarette, and He's been running four miles a day longer then I and my parents have been alive.

      Hell, just for kicks, i went running with him a while ago. I couldn't keep up. I wish i coudl be in that good of shape when i am his age.

  • You know what? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by SteweyGriffin ( 634046 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:05PM (#4888479)
    I plan on living a long, healthy life.

    This suit won't apply to me personally. Some people, yes. But those people are the same folks who eat fast-food once or twice a day, never exercise, don't have any spiritual beliefs or practices.

    Jack La Lanne is nearly 100 years old, yet he looks 65 and still works out every day. I was born in the 1970s, and I plan on living well into my 120s and 130s. I'm not kidding.

    - Eat healthy food. Pretend you're a car. Would you put sugar into your gas tank? Of course not. So don't eat junk food either.
    - Exercise. It keeps your mind clean and your body healthy.
    - Listen to music. It soothes the soul. Playing music is even better.
    - Smile a lot. Be happy. Happy people live longer. They like being alive!
    - Have sex/masturbate frequently. The chemicals released during sexual activity make you feel better and aid normal day-to-day activities.
    - Don't smoke.
    - Don't drink.
    - Have beliefs. There has to be some spiritual basis in your mind. You don't have to be Catholic or anything, but that doesn't mean you can't do yoga or pray to some higher power.

    Quit your Coca-Cola + Frito Lay + Computer habit that dominates many of your lives. I eat pears, apple slices with peanut butter, celery & peanut butter, raisins, nuts, cereal, etc. while at the computer. Most of you probably don't. Ditch those M&Ms for some healthy trail mix!

    Oh God, and please smile too! Life isn't that rough. It'll be better if you take things as they come. Just ENJOY being alive! Life is interesting if nothing else.

    And keep games to moderation. This includes Slashdot. Too much of any one thing is bad. Life your life in moderation. Sleep well!

    Good things will come, and you and I will still be roaming these hills for 100+ years to come!

    • Re:You know what? (Score:5, Funny)

      by dirkdidit ( 550955 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:15PM (#4888511) Homepage
      Have sex/masturbate frequently.
      The majority of /.ers have the masturbate part down, so I don't think that's too much of a problem.
    • Have you ever heard of a little thing called DNA? Exercise as much as you like but if your double helix says you're gonna spend your autumn years in a wheelchair that's where you're gonna be.
    • "- Smile a lot. Be happy."

      Damn, if only all the unhappy people in the world had thought of this....
    • I'll second this. I know it's hard to plan so far ahead when there's no sure thing that any of us won't be hit by a car tomorrow, but I don't know how anyone can look at the average old person and not do everything they can to prevent that. My Grandmother has only taken a little better care of herself than most, and even that extra bit of exercise and diet planning has made a huge difference. On one side of the family I have two grandparents who can barley hear, get around, follow a conversation, or really even understand the modern world. On the other is the Grandmother I mentioned, who actually managed to tire out my 21 year old cousin jogging when she flew down there and who has a mind just as sharp as when she was at her prime.

      A couple years back I took a hard look at whose lifestyle mine most mirrored, and decided very quickly to ditch the junk food, the colas, and get myself on an excercise regimine. It's a lot of work, and takes a pretty large amount of willpower at the start, but I can almost promise anyone that the results are well worth it. A couple months of increased exercise, and changing over to only eating nutritionally sound food boosted up the energy level far more than caffine ever had.

    • Re:You know what? (Score:3, Interesting)

      by mesocyclone ( 80188 )
      Apple slices with peanut butter?

      Haven't you heard of aflatoxins? Almost all cases of liver cancer in the US (other than those caused by alcoholism) are caused by aflatoxins - most commonly found in peanut butter.

      Moderate amounts of alcohol appear to have a number of beneficial health effects - drink *some*.

      Computer programming causes chronic nerve cell migration in the brain - avoid it.

      (all right, I made that up... but I'll bet it is true - maybe harmful, maybe beneficial :-)

      Face it... there ain't no way to guarantee that you are living well into your 120s or 130s.

      But if it makes you feel better to believe so... go ahead.

      • Re:You know what? (Score:2, Interesting)

        by Joe Tie. ( 567096 )
        (all right, I made that up... but I'll bet it is true - maybe harmful, maybe beneficial :-)

        From what I've read, continuing to solve puzzles and integrate new concepts is an extreamly important component to keeping ones mind from degrading,diseases aside, as you get older. From that perspective, I'd place programming right into the same catagory as getting a workout and eating right for me.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by account_deleted ( 4530225 )
      Comment removed based on user account deletion

    • Re:You know what? (Score:2, Insightful)

      by drsquare ( 530038 )
      Living to 120? That's not living, that's surviving. Surviving miserably. 'Living' involves having an ENJOYABLE life. I.e. doing pleasing things, such as drinking, eating delicious food, doing dangerous things.

      If I had to be constantly sober, hungry and unsatisfied from eating nuts and grass, drinking mineral water and playing crap sports for the sole sake of living to some miserable age, I'd just kill myself right now.

      What's the point in living to 130 if you're living a hard, miserable empty existence?

      "Smile a lot. Be happy. Happy people live longer. They like being alive!"

      Except, as you fail to note, being happy depends on being in circumstances which would actually make you happy. You can't change your circumstances, short of winning the lottery and moving to a place where it isn't constantly dark and raining. When your average day consists of 1 hour waiting for a bus in the rain and dark, 1 hour sitting on a clammy, cramped, loud sweaty bus, 12 hours doing difficult, dull and stressful work, 1 hour trying to cook up something edible from the gone-off scraps of food in the cupboard, then the rest of the day lying exhausted on your bed, it's hard to consider yourself 'happy'.

      "Sleep well!"

      You try sleeping well on a tiny, uncomfortable bed with half the springs broke, the sheets smelling terrible, in a freezing cold room, lit up by over-bright sodium lights outside, and the constant noise of violent louts outside keeping you awake, whilst worrying about unpaid bills and contemplating whether just to end it all or not.

      "So don't eat junk food either."

      Are you going to cough up the expense of all that luxury healthy food for everyone? No, I didn't think so, so don't complain when I can only afford pasties and chips and pies and burgers. Not all of can afford to go to a fancy restaurant or eat expensive salad sandwiches every lunchtime, or to have prawns and lobster for tea, or to drink healthy mineral water. All I can afford is pudding and cheaps, and the tap water tastes so awful the only option is to drink supermarket brand coke.

      Exercise. It keeps your mind clean and your body healthy.

      Yeah, everyone wants to go for a run or something in the grim dark of the morning, in the rain and cold and wind, around dodgy places full of thugs and drug dealers, whilst your tired, exhausted body cries out for precious sleep. That sounds like a lovely thing to do. Or maybe you're one of those rich ponces who can afford extortionate gym fees, and a car to get there, and you think that applies to everyone else as well.

      Don't drink.

      Great, the one, single remaining piece of pleasure I get out of life, gone. Maybe I could spend the time instead fixing the broken water heater or banging my head against the wall.

      You know, people like you really piss me off. You have a great, happy life, where everything goes right for you, probably living in some great, happy paradise where everyone is happy and nothing ever goes wrong, and then you can't understand that anyone else could possibly be under worse circumstances than you, or why other people might not feel the same way about abandoning their pleasures and leading an even longer, more miserable life.

      Can someone please explain to me how I would be better off by making my life even more miserable and extending the misery by 200%, because I can't see it.
    • While some of the more gymnastic martial arts can wear out the body,

      Tai Chi is a good way to excercise and meditate at any age. I know some who still train/teach it well through their 80's.

      Couple of pointers:
      - Learn one of the traditional Chinese ones, not some new age junk
      - Keep the knee aligned above the toes unless you have a good reason. Any good instructor will know that putting pressure on a knee bent inwards can cause damage.
    • Jack La Lanne is nearly 100 years old, yet he looks 65 and still works out every day. I was born in the 1970s, and I plan on living well into my 120s and 130s. I'm not kidding.

      Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's mostly genetics. Medicine and public health have only extended the average lifespan, but the maximum human lifespan appears to have other limits on it and appears to have remained mostly constant throughout human history.

      Unless there are major breakthroughs in human biology, gene therapy, and genetic engineering, count on between 70-80 years of life if you are lucky, and keep in mind that you could die any day no matter what you do.

      • Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's mostly genetics. Medicine and public health have only extended the average lifespan, but the maximum human lifespan appears to have other limits on it and appears to have remained mostly constant throughout human history

        When you consider that someone born in 1880 may just be kicking the bucket, why is it hard to believe that someone born twenty years ago is likely to be able to do the same thing? Especially with human cloning right around the corner I think that medical science is due for a new renaissance.

        I read somewhere that the life expectancy increases by 3 months every year due to medical advances. that means if a twenty year-old's life expectancy is 80, by the time he reaches it it will be 95. and by the time he reaches that it will be 99, so not until age 100 have you actually beaten the odds.

        but then again there's a good chance you'll be hit by a bus tomorrow.
    • I plan on living a long, healthy life.

      Yeah. Well, you're so healthy and wonderful I just want to cram a granola bar down your frickin' throat!

      You got your rictus grin and unimpacted colon, and your frickin' underwear smells like frickin' daffodils.

      Wonderful! You know, Strom Thurmond exercised and ate right, and now he's 100, and BOY aren't we lucky!

      You know, we age for many reasons, and evolution made sure we'd be around just long enough and not longer. To the extent that you save me some money in healthcare costs, that's great. But don't overestimate society's demand for self-righteous, self-involved, patronizing 120-year-olds.

    • Fuck happy! Science has proven that happiness is no better than misery. I, for one, choose misery: It's way easier to come by, and if you wear a black beret and smoke Gauloises, chicks will dig you.

    • Re:You know what? (Score:2, Insightful)

      by xombo ( 628858 )
      I think I would rather live to about 70, having fun in life and doing things I like (drinking soda, eating junk food, etc), rather than living to 130 eating rasins and running 10 miles a day. I think it is better to enjoy life for a little while, rather than just be careful for a long time. I am sure you could say you are happy dancing with the bunny rabbits, and eating berries, but if you started drinking soda and eating mcdonalds food, you would be hooked and never want to go back. And I don't think that your meditation and such will help you survive a carwreck or somthing of that sort.
      • OK, the sode I can agree with. But I'm sorry, McDonalds food is survival rations. I'll eat it if I must on the road or something, but it sure does a number on me. It doesn't taste that good and I don't feel that good after eating it.

        I think the problem is that many people are just USED to that crap. If you don't normally eat good cooking, you think McDonalds stuff tastes OK and the way you feel is the way you've always felt.

        It does take some time and willpower but when you get out the other side you do feel better every day, you're not sick as long when you get sick (I'm not one of these nuts that thinks they can never get sick if they eat just exactly right; that's self-delusion), and I enjoy what I do.

        But I don't try to ram it down peoples throats like this guy. I handle personal lifestyle like religion; I'm not at all evangelical. I do what I want, you do what you want, if you want to know what I do I figure you'll ask. I don't judge people based on whether they're fat, thin, muslim or wiccan. If they're doing something interesting/fun/meaningful to them, who am I to get in their way? I don't want them telling ME I have to eat this or that.
    • - Don't drink

      Didn't you see all the reports about how a glass of wine a day helps prevent cardiac arrest and generally improves blood flow? Maybe you should say "Don't drink excessively".

  • Batman suit (Score:3, Interesting)

    by ciurana ( 2603 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:08PM (#4888490) Homepage Journal

    This article reminded me of Val Kilmer's interview in an episode of Inside the Actor's Studio.

    Kilmer was asked about his experiences while shooting Batman Forever. The first thing he said was "Now I know what being old means. I couldn't hear inside the suit, so I had to guess my cues from watchint people's lips move. I couldn't move or turn your head. You think you move your hand and then you slowly watch it go up. I could barely see." (paraphrased a bit)

    Ah, another shattered illusion. I used to think that the Batman suit was soooooo cool...

    E

  • Posts seem to be missing the point of the article (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mondoterrifico ( 317567 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:12PM (#4888505) Journal
    This suit is designed specifically to give manufacturers an idea of the ease of use of their products, by people that are elderly.

    Yes you may know some 70 year olds that are fitter then 30 year olds, but there are alot that have trouble performing everyday tasks.

    This suit is a pretty neat idea on how to make better design choices.
  • Take your bag of chips in one hand, your bottle of mountain dew in another, and jump into a hole. There, an apropriate prediction of what a lot of slashdoters eating habits will give us for an old age.

  • "Impatience Machine." (Score:5, Funny)

    by cribcage ( 205308 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:16PM (#4888513) Homepage Journal
    That sounds terrific. Because if there's one thing I'm tired of, it's all those damn old people marching around, bragging about their loss of hearing, uncontrollable trembling, and incontinence.

    Kudos to the scientists who came up with this miracle device. Drive-thru windows insured that I don't have to wait for my hamburger. Fotomat made certain I wouldn't have to wait for my pictures. Now, thanks to this wondrous creation, I don't even have to wait to feel old!!

    Seriously: The next time you scientists wake up bored, on a rainy Sunday, looking for something to do...CANCER. Forget Viagra, Rogaine, and "old machines." CURE CANCER.

    Christ...

  • one more change needed (Score:3, Funny)

    by carpe_noctem ( 457178 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:17PM (#4888521) Homepage Journal
    I don't think the gloves are gonna help me be more obstanant and stubborn.

  • Check Out the Story (Score:3, Funny)

    by cribcage ( 205308 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:22PM (#4888536) Homepage Journal
    The most amazing part of this story? This thing comes from Berlin. ...'Cause if there's ever been a more American-sounding invention, I've never heard of it.

    (Although I suppose the fact that it doesn't come armed with two semi-automatic pistols might have been a clue...)

    crib
    • The most amazing part of this story? This thing comes from Berlin. ...'Cause if there's ever been a more American-sounding invention, I've never heard of it.

      What! You're suprised that a full-body torture device was maufactured in Germany?

      Zu haf a lot to learen from ze Germans about ze pain of living.

  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • Can you reverse the polarity? (Score:3, Funny)

    by bjorky ( 78181 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:24PM (#4888545) Homepage Journal
    Can you put the batteries in backward and have it make your feel young and foolish again?

    Well, I guess you could get that with a few whacks to the head.

  • Tired of being young, cool, and attractive? (Score:4, Funny)

    by TeknoHog ( 164938 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:25PM (#4888548) Homepage Journal
    Solution: Read Slashdot.
  • What's the point? Is this some sort of S&M toy?

  • Weird (Score:2, Insightful)

    by vadim_t ( 324782 )
    I see people talking about manufactures using those to test how old people would feel inside their cars or whatever. Okay, I understand somebody might try this thing out of curiosity, but car manufacturers? Wouldn't it be easier to pay a few old people?

  • Trust me, the experience isnt great (Score:4, Informative)

    by quantax ( 12175 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @04:39PM (#4888602) Homepage
    As someone who is more then half-deaf naturally (and 21 years old), I don't really think you are missing out on much if you don't get to use this little toy. I would rather cherish my good hearing then experience crappier hearing, and save arthitis for when I have to deal with it (if I have to). How about they work on devices that allow the opposite to happen instead of allowing 'normal' people to simulate being disabled in some manner; seems kinda pointless. I can see the point w/ drunk driving simulations, but this? I dunno, like I said you are not missing much.

  • from the * dept. (Score:2, Offtopic)

    by zephc ( 225327 )
    "from the strap-on dept."

    umm... michael? dare we ask?...
  • I'd be scared that with all the voting power the old and geezerly have, it'll be required for all us whippersnappers to wear this thing for a few days to better appreciate the pain they have to go through. I'm sure that would get them that increased Medicare funding that they so desperately want.

    I'm royally sick of how the old folks have all the power. I guess it's the fault of my generation, who just doesn't vote. Stupid college kids.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • You could just more to Florida.
  • In other news, suicide rates have quintupled after people realized what hell they're going to be going through in 40 years...
  • and wear it all the time. I will fight against it every day and when I am old I will remove the suit and I will be unstoppable! You will worship me as a God! I, Maud Dib no longer needs the weirding device!

  • Old Age Simulator for Geeks. (Score:5, Funny)

    by CFBMoo1 ( 157453 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @05:13PM (#4888730) Homepage
    Quake 3 on....

    50-60's - IBM PS/1 or a Tandy 1000 EX with the external 5.25" fopppy drive. 300bps modem sold seperate.

    60's-70's - Radio Shack Color Computer 2, Commodor 64, or an old TI 99/4A. Acustic couplers sold seperate.

    70's+ - MITS Altair 8800 where the frame rate is dependent on how quickly you interpret the lights and turn the knobs on an Etcha-Sketch. Tin cans and string sold sperate.
    • How about just a Geek Simulator so that non-geeks know what it is like.

      Rejection by pretty guys/girls (depending on gender), BO spray, thick glasses, alarm goes off if participant tries to go outside a building, recorded sounds of mumbling about PHB's (the 'suits'), required licking of pizza and Cheezit crumbs off of a keyboard, and no leaving until a decent score on the Bill Gates dart board and/or a 5-inch pile of Jizz using cheap porn.

  • Want to simulate old age? Just follow these easy steps:

    Tell anyone who will listen long, rambling stories about wars you were never in

    Sit on your porch with a shotgun, yelling at kids to get off your lawn

    Constantly complain about how good things used to be

    See, it's THAT easy! =)

  • Uhm.. Yay!
    ?

  • I Simulate Arthritis... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Master of Transhuman ( 597628 ) on Saturday December 14, 2002 @05:37PM (#4888863) Homepage
    by sitting in my chair for hours reading Slashdot posts...

    This also simulates senility and Alzheimer's...

    Bad for my diet, too...

    And you should see what it does to my love life... Does the word "virtual" ring a bell (as in "virtually none")?

  • This reminds me too much of Harrison Bergeron [penguinppc.org], a short story written by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. in 1961. In the story, people in the year 2081 who see well are required by the government to wear blurry glasses so that they see "like everyone else". Strong people are weighted down with bags of birdshot, and beautiful people were required to wear masks.
  • ... because it does not simulate having prostate problems.

    I was in the Vodaphone shop the other day and the sweet young 20-something tried to sell me a 'phone with all these "Super-useful local imformation resources" all full of totally useless guff, but no mention of the most important public facility of all .. the nearest public loo.
  • If a 70-year-old wears the device do they feel 140 or should one assume that an age 70 simulator worn by a 70-year-old would have no effect?


  • Today's reminiscing begins... Today.

  • simulate soiling yourself?
  • Just what I wanted for Christmas! Something that makes me sick to my stomach and makes me feel pain!
  • Well, just have them walk 5 miles to school, in 6 feet of snow, up hill, both ways.
  • One thing to consider as that you "grow into your age." This device will pile everything on at once, but generally as you age things just somewhat creep up on you (so I've been told).
  • Allowed my PC to feel old, slow and creaky. Check it out - it's marketed as Windows XP.

    (So would Doom III have been a better punchline?)

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