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It's funny. Laugh. Science

The Heretofore Unpublished Letters of Ernest Glitch 180

Posted by timothy from the before-workman's-comp dept.
Roger Curry writes "Letters to Michael Faraday in 1856 from previously unknown victorian experimentalist Ernest Glitch have recently been discovered. The history of science may need to be revised. His letters, and accounts of his work, would appear to indicate the observation of laser action in air, a Victorian Nitrogen Laser, more than a century before Maiman first demonstrated his ruby laser. Also, in a letter dated 8th July 1856 he notes the crystallisation of the fullerene C60 some 150 years before Kroto. Amazingly, there are also accounts of a Liquid-Fuel Rocket Engine detailing the use of hypergolic propellants and deLaval nozzles, a Victorian Tesla Coil, with reference to a possible medieval Coil, and Manned Flight achieved long before the Wright Bros., using Multiple Valve-less Pulse Jets."
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The Heretofore Unpublished Letters of Ernest Glitch More

The Heretofore Unpublished Letters of Ernest Glitch

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  • Is it just me or is /. really getting heavily into the Bad Science articles?

    • Re:Boondoggle or Foofoorah? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Doug Merritt ( 3550 ) <doug AT remarque DOT org> on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:52PM (#4838185) Homepage Journal
      Okay, so you and some others missed the humor; the site is, after all, beautifully done, and convincing in tone and style (.e.g there are lots of well-documented stories about early chemists badly mistreating and maiming assistants exactly as Hodges was -- and worse).

      What I don't understand is why anyone would complain about this if it were real news.

      I mean, this would be an earth-shattering change to the history of science -- the biggest ever! But you say "ho hum, who cares, why are boring stories getting posted"????!!!

      That's much sadder than merely missing that it's humor.

  • Can you say.... (Score:5, Informative)

    by Gothmolly ( 148874 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:32AM (#4837781)
    hoax? Get it, get it, the "It's Funny, Laugh" icon should be a hint. The guy's name is "Glitch" for crying out loud.
  • What about the Internet? Al Gore still invented that, didn't he? I hope so.
    • Does that mean the Republicans invented Al Gore?
    • Has Gore taken credit for inventing hoaxes?

    • Now, *there's* a hoax - not by Gore... (Score:4, Informative)

      by cirby ( 2599 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @01:39PM (#4838443)
      This is one of the great hoaxes put on the American people, and it's gained a life of its own. Gore correctly took credit - in a casual comment in an interview - for taking the initiative in Congress in creating what we consider to be the Internet (increasing funding and taking it from a military to a commercial and academic network). Some weeks later, Republicans started using the false "invented" claim.
      • Comment removed based on user account deletion

      • Re:Now, *there's* a hoax - not by Gore... (Score:5, Informative)

        by Elwood P Dowd ( 16933 ) <judgmentalist@gmail.com> on Sunday December 08, 2002 @03:04PM (#4839008) Journal
        Yeah.

        I spoke to David Farber a little after that whole thing got started. Dave Farber was involved in the invention of ethernet, and a number of other key technologies. He's been a well connected, well known geek for a very, very long time. I asked him what he thought of Gore's claim that he invented the internet, expecting to get a chuckle out of him, because he knew many of the people that might have actually been able to make that kind of claim.

        Instead, he got kindof serious, and said, "Well, no, he didn't create the internet, and I think he's been quoted out of context, but he was absolutely responsible for creating the legislative environment that allowed that type of research to be done, and lead to the creation of the internet."

        I felt like an idiot.

  • Disturbing (Score:2, Funny)

    by Malicious ( 567158 )
    For someone writing letters in the 19th century, his signature [lateralscience.co.uk] Looks disturbingly like typeface....

  • If only... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Hi_2k ( 567317 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:34AM (#4837799) Journal
    If Jules Verne or H.G. Wells had written comedy we probably would have gotten something like this

  • Gotta be a hoax (Score:3, Funny)

    by SpinyNorman ( 33776 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:35AM (#4837803)
    Just too funny though - very well done.

    Poor Hodges.
    • Hodges` hand was still smoking when I started the sketch, I hurried somewhat, as he was pleading to go to the horse doctor.
      He had a horse for an assistant?
    • How could it not be a hoax?
      "Hodges had tried various other ways to ameliorate the discomfort his de-gloved testicles gave him. Ether vapour worked."

      No scientist other than a biologist would write that in a log.
  • Ok, now we know who to blame when there is a serious glitch.

  • save us from ourselves depat. (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    i think someone wise and learned needs to start moderating the posted news a little closer. /. is starting to turn into the online edition of Joe Average's "Discover" magazine.

  • Old News (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Lu Xun ( 615093 )
    Sierra has known about this for some time now [sierra.com].

  • Gimme a break (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:38AM (#4837818)
    This isn't even a good hoax. The letters sound like they were writen by the same guy who wrote the dialog for Resident Evil 1.

    Barry, you saved me!

    NAAAAAGGHHH

  • In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Jonboy X ( 319895 ) <jonathan,oexner&alum,wpi,edu> on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:41AM (#4837835) Journal
    It turns out that Aristotle pioneered the use of hyperthreading in x86 microprocessors way back in ancient Greece. Only problem was he couldn't get any decent uptime, what with the lack of electricity and all...
    • And he couldn't find an open Wi-Fi network so he could tell Slashdot of his discovery.

    • Re:In other news... (Score:3, Informative)

      by Speare ( 84249 )

      This reminded me at once of "The Difference Engine" by Sterling and Gibson.

      Synopsis [amazon.com]: A collaborative novel from the premier cyberpunk authors, William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. Part detective story, part historical thriller, The Difference Engine takes us not forward but back, to an imagined 1885: the Industrial Revolution is in full and inexorable swing, powered by steam-driven, cybernetic engines. Charles Babbage perfects his Analytical Engine, and the computer age arrives a century ahead of its time.

      • I was telling someone about that book today - I read it about ten years ago - but couldn't remember the title. A fortunate coincidence.
      • Absolutely. On the whole, I loved this book, though many of the criticisms over its style are valid - it would have been much better if Sterling simply weren't involved, IMHO. I recommend it to my geek friends whenever possible, mainly because most of them have barely heard about it, if at all.

        I think this book has AWESOME potential for being an excellent movie, if it could be pulled off properly. Far better prospects, than, say, Johnny Mnemonic.
    • Actually, I recall reading an article once about the discovery of what appeared to be a mechanical calculator. Not quite an x86 processor, but given that they had not harnessed electricity, still pretty impressive.
      • I forgot to mention that what they believe is a mechanical calculator was an ancient greek artifact. That was really the whole point. Jesus, I don't even have the "coffee" excuse.
    • It turns out that Aristotle pioneered the use of hyperthreading in x86 microprocessors way back in ancient Greece. Only problem was he couldn't get any decent uptime, what with the lack of electricity and all...

      That has to be wrong.

      Back in 1986, Intel and Sandia built a 1 terraflop computer [intel.com], capable of 1 trilion (1,000,000,000,000) operations per second. Aristotle died around 322 B.C.E. or 2324 years ago.

      Under one interpretation of Moore's law, the number of operations per second doubles every 3 years or so. Working backwards, that means Aristotle's computer was capable of one operation every 10^213 years. The first computer capable of one operation per second would have had to have been built around 1882.

      Conclusion: Aristotle's work must have been all theoretical.

  • ...please forgive the penmanship. Hodges` hand was still smoking when I started the sketch, I hurried somewhat, as he was pleading to go to the horse doctor.

    Glitch to Hodges: "You knew this job was dangerous when you took it, Fred".

    -jhon
  • Yeah, and Hugo Gernsback invented TV, Radar, yadda yadda in 1911.

  • I know bullshit... (Score:4, Funny)

    by crumbz ( 41803 ) <<remove_spam>jus ... o spam>gmail,com> on Sunday December 08, 2002 @11:50AM (#4837875) Homepage
    ... when I see it. I am an American!

  • Spare the cries... (Score:2, Informative)

    by fygment ( 444210 )
    ... of "HOAX". This is the homepage:

    http://www.lateralscience.co.uk/

    Back to your lives citizens.
  • Clearly a hoax, but very funny:

    "As an interesting sidenote, Hodges has sustained peculiar fern like scarring and ramifications on his skin where he touched the prime discharge brass. I have endeavored to draw these for you Faraday, please forgive the penmanship. Hodges` hand was still smoking when I started the sketch, I hurried somewhat, as he was pleading to go to the horse doctor."

    "The position of the gap is critical to these phenomena, and afforded me much experimentation, apparently to the detriment of Hodges. Just as I was observing a continuous luminous glow appearing between the top conductors, upon each discharge, Hodges couldn`t go on. His arm had seized and his whole frame was shaking as though palsied. At first I thought he had received another shock, but he maintained fatigue and virtually demanded a rest!

    Sensing a shirker as well as you can Faraday, I took over turning the machine and with some merriment demanded he take observations of the expanded spark. The dolt actually had the audacity to assume a proprietorial stance next to the plates, Faraday! When the prime started sparking over, Hodges emitted a scream the like of which I hadn`t heard since his scrotum was burned off during my experiment with fluorine gas last year. Hodges staggered back from the plates, covering his right eye and uttering blasphemities which would have themselves led to his dismissal, even had he not been blinded. But what had happened Faraday?"

  • manned flight before Wright brothers (Score:2, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward
    nothing exceptional about that, hot air balloons have been around since the early 1800's.

    They were even used in the civil war.

    The Wright brothers invented heavier than air/powered flight.
    • Well, either them or Richard Pearse [auckland-airport.co.nz].

      While he (Richard) himself said that the Wrights flew before him, the little evidence seems to point to the opposite and that Pearse had a more ambitious definition of flight than he achieved. (He is said to have not accepted anything less than a machine that would allow him to fly to town and back as a flying machine, which accounts for his denial).

      It's unlikely we'll ever conclusively know, whomever was first though, it was damn close, and considering that Richard lived in a small rural farming community in New Zealand, miles from anywhere, and had to do everything himself, I think he takes the ingenuity prize, he was a true genius, unrecognized until well after his death.

  • is how he slips in a advertisement for the book he sells on his main page within the articles...

    Man... this is bad science at its absolute worst. (I hope enough people notice the "it's funny... laugh" and don't think it's the "science" section one.) Considering that the only site google has that refers to this particular Glitch <laugh> is this site. Science ain't changing anytime soon.

    Oh, but if you do think this is for real, I have a beautiful bridge I am selling... :-)
  • Did the guy discover Object Oriented Programming, too?
  • And I thought we only recently started seeing Glitchy technologies!

  • I missed the (Score:2, Funny)

    by UrGeek ( 577204 )
    "It's Funny, Laugh" icon. But when I got to the part about poor ole Hodges "emitted a scream the like of which I hadn`t heard since his scrotum was burned off during my experiment with fluorine gas last year", a suspected that this page was out about truth but about entertainment. And it is!

    I still don't see that icon at http://www.lateralscience.co.uk/VicN2/vicN2.html. Where is it?
    • I missed the "It's Funny, Laugh" icon [...] I still don't see that icon at http://www.lateralscience.co.uk/VicN2/vicN2.html. Where is it?

      They're talking about the slashdot icon, not an icon at the lateralscience site. It was posted with topic It's funny. Laugh. [slashdot.org] (icon: bare left foot) rather than topic Science [slashdot.org] (icon: Einstein's head)

      Scroll up to the top of the page you're staring at right now and you'll see it. :-)

  • Remember this from Rozencrantz and Gildenstern? (Score:4, Funny)

    by SirSlud ( 67381 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:15PM (#4837960) Homepage
    The do a sthick like this in "Rozencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead", a fantastic movie with Gary Oldman based on the Top Stoppard favorite.

    One of them keeps discovering advanced concepts of physics (the movie is set in the time of Hamlet) playing with potted plants and bowling balls and feathers, but is never able to fully expand on them as he is repeatedly distracted by plot advancement.

    Its pretty funny, and this kinda reminded me of that.

  • Kroto and C60 (Score:3, Informative)

    by Mystic_Rhythms ( 632377 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:16PM (#4837963)
    Kroto wasn't the first to see crystals of C60, Huffman [arizona.edu] was. Kroto only saw C60 as a peak in a mass spectrometer.

  • A-ha! (Score:2)

    by grub ( 11606 )

    Notice how he never mentioned that everyone will have a flying car by the year 2000? Puts the 50's science writers to shame..

  • 150 Years ago (Score:1, Redundant)

    by ZahrGnosis ( 66741 )
    Also, in a letter dated 8th July 1856 he notes the crystallisation of the fullerene C60 some 150 years before Kroto.
    150 years after 1856 is still three years away.

    • "some 150 years" should be read as "approximately 150 years", not "exactly 150 years".

  • he also invented.. (Score:3, Funny)

    by guest12 ( 248543 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:20PM (#4837984)
    the ernestglitch machine which was rediscovered by one Mr. Turing.
    Poor Glitch also forgot to patent a device in later incarnation called paladin or palladium something.
  • History is written by those who have hanged heroes. (Sorry, couldn't resist)

    Who invented the telephone again?

    Mike

    Ok ok, I'll be good. Gimme back my karma.

  • This is a gem (Score:5, Funny)

    by azav ( 469988 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:36PM (#4838093) Homepage Journal
    On the home page:

    Experimenting with Weapons-Grade Fissile Material in the Home.

    A Method of Electro-Plating Lizards

    Atomic Hydrogen Blowtorch.

    Any they just keep geting better
    http://www.lateralscience.co.uk/

    Can't wait for the Victorian Cyclotron
  • Boy, it looks like these guys were pretty kinky:
    Yes, I know that's not what they meant. :)

  • The Secret Journals of Phineas J. Magnetron (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Alien54 ( 180860 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:43PM (#4838138) Journal
    In the line of something in the flavor of Jules Verne, people should also check out:

    the secret journals of Phineas J. Magnetron [earthlink.net]

    • I received these unusual documents from my uncle who -- perhaps inadvertently -- willed them to me along with an attic full of junk and dusty memorabilia. There were twenty-four books in all, every one of them labeled with a year on the spine and front cover. What captured my attention -- besides the mysterious code -- was that the years began with 1877.

      Magnetron's books appeared to be a journal of some kind, as each entry was preceded by a date written in a bold block lettering. Below each date were as many as 4,408 small numbers and letters, packed 64 characters per square inch with no spaces or identifiable punctuation. The only characters used were the numerals 0 through 9 and the letters A through F, leading the cryptographers to deduce that the code utilized a hexadecimal, or base 16 numbering system.

    nicely done.

  • Glitch growing grass (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Antity ( 214405 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:44PM (#4838144) Homepage

    He writes: [lateralscience.co.uk]

    Later that day, Hodges arrived in my lab with Maud the maid. Both were in a dreadful funk. Hodges exclaiming that a volcano was erupting in the south pasture, Maud maintaining that the devil himself had arrived. My first thought was that the pair of them had been at my Indian hemp plantation again, however this would not have accounted for Maud`s clothing, which appeared to have large monoclinic sulphur crystals attached to the posterior regions.

    Indian hemp? Become a scientist NOW! :-)

  • A little known fact (Score:3, Funny)

    by psyconaut ( 228947 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @12:58PM (#4838218)
    It is in memorium of him that we have the phrase "a glitch in the system". ;-)

    -psy

  • LOL (Score:2)

    by Archfeld ( 6757 )
    Ernest Glitch ??? how about Genuine Hoax....

    Medievil electricty ummm...yeah right...

  • firsts (Score:2, Funny)

    by Tablizer ( 95088 )

    Poor Hodges is now famous as the first person to receive laser eye surgery.

    The abuse that the poor guy received was astounding. Dig this:

    Hodges emitted a scream the like of which I hadn`t heard since his scrotum was burned off during my experiment with fluorine gas last year.

  • Meep! (Score:4, Funny)

    by 5KVGhost ( 208137 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @01:13PM (#4838292)
    Remarkable! I see clear parallels between this pioneering Victorian scientist and the much later experiments chronicled in the televised documentaries of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew [muppets.com] and his faithful assistant Beaker [muppets.com].
  • From this page [lateralscience.co.uk] on his website-
    My own experience with fluorine has been solely with its compounds. In particular, natural calcium fluoride crystals (fluorite or fluorspar). Also hydrofluoric acid, during a highly ill-advised "experiment" conducted in the clean room of a semiconductor manufacturer unwise enough to employ me.... The glass and quartz-ware used in diffusion furnaces must be kept scrupulously clean to avoid contamination of the silicon wafers being processed. Consequently it is periodically bathed in a mixture of hydrofluoric and nitric acids. Full protection clothing was donned over normal clean room eyes-only-exposed garb, and a large silicon wafer (complete with defective 4Mb DRAMs) was "carefully" thrown into the acid bath. Nothing happened for about twenty seconds, as the HF attacked the silicon, heating up the wafer until a runaway reaction started. The acid bath then erupted into a frightening boiling maelstrom, with the violent evolution of copious amounts of red and brown fumes of nitrogen oxides. The complete destruction of high technology by the tiger of chemistry.
    Splendid.
    Now we know why they're shunning away geeks
  • I'm not up on chemistry and electrical engineering to know if this stuff actually makes sense. Would the stuff presented in the stories actually work?

    If so, it is nice to see funny, clever hard-scifi -- it might make a nice book or short story.

  • This poor Hodges guy though... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Newer Guy ( 520108 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @02:05PM (#4838596)
    I never would have wanted to be THIS guy's assistant! First he makes him sick from inhaling quicksilver (Mercury) vapor (very poisonous), then he fries (electrocutes) his hand so bad that he can't use his arm for a month, then the poor guy loses his sight in one eye thanks to the discovery of the laser. How does this guy reward his assistant for giving (literally) so much of himself? He CANS him! And we thought that our employers were assholes! Jeesh!
    • And for those of us who were a little slow to pick up on the fact that it was a hoax: "Hodges emitted a scream the like of which I hadn`t heard since his scrotum was burned off during my experiment with fluorine gas last year."
      Mercury and electric shocks are one thing, but i certainly wouldn't wait around to be canned after this.
  • ...made in the 1970's and re-runs played on PBS stations here in the states afterwards. Leonard Rossiter could've played the perfect Glitch.
  • There they go again. Trying to take credit for someone else's work.
  • I'm not sure which is more indicative of Slashdot's editorial decline -- this story, or the rash of duplicates.
  • These letters are a classic. Probably should be ran thru Victoriantalk though. The parent site has some of the coolest stuff I've seen in a while. I hope somebody mirrors it before the ARM shuts it down.
  • The site is a hoax, but the laser is real and could have been developed using Victorian techniques.

    Here is a modern description [tiscali.fr]. You can put one together for a few dollars. It delivers nanosecond pulses of UV laser light that you can use to excite dye lasers and do other neat stuff with.

  • Hoax and funny too. (Score:3, Informative)

    by Performer Guy ( 69820 ) on Sunday December 08, 2002 @10:25PM (#4841566)
    Of course it's a hoax, the whole thing reads like a comedy of errors where the poor servant Hodges is subjected to various nasty injuries as a result of Glitch's experiments.

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