Pro-Active Furniture Assembly 267
Gudlyf writes "Stavros Antifakos, of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, has designed "clever" furniture pieces with built-in microprocessors that could relieve the confusion, anger and frustration of putting them together. The idea includes a flat-pack furniture kit whose parts are fitted with cheap microprocessors that monitor what you are doing during assembly and will warn you if you are doing something wrong or dangerous."
Your chair is ajar! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Your chair is ajar! (Score:2)
This sounds like a pain in the ass to me. But that's me.
Only if they include a electrode feedback option for posture correction...
Marvin's take (Score:2, Funny)
"It's no use checking all the bits are there before you start, because you're bound to lose some, everybody does."
"You need to tighten it harder. You need to tighten it harder." (SNAP!) "I knew that was going to happen, it always does".
"Brain the size of a planet, and what do they get me to do? Make sure this moron that can barely string a sentence together can screw this table together. I ask you! Brain the size of a planet!"
Re:Maybe I needed this (Score:2)
Sounds more like the ultimate nagware to me! (Score:4, Insightful)
Just my 2 cents
Re:Sounds more like the ultimate nagware to me! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sounds more like the ultimate nagware to me! (Score:2)
An unobtainable part for most geeks. No wonder they need the microprocessors...
Re:Sounds more like the ultimate nagware to me! (Score:2)
Me me me me!
Oh wait... kitchen cabinet? I thought you were talking about porn. :-)
The karma, the karma, the karma's on fire.
We don't need no +1 let the mutha fucka burn.
Burn mutha fucka, burn!
Bleh. (Score:1)
It might be good for Jon Katz... (Score:1)
Dubious use of technology? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
I'm forced to agree. When I moved into my first apartment, Ikea [ikea.com] was a good way to get new and moderately stylish furniture for not a lot of money.
Once I got their stuff unpacked and ready to assemble, I was truly impressed by the instructions inside -- no words, no writing that wasn't legally necessary at all. They used perspective illustrations and nothing else, and managed to successfully convey exactly how to assemble the product, including what tools to use, with only that. Solved the international language problem completely, as well as the lesser-known possibility that your customer is actually illiterate.
All their products are this way, in my experience. Bottom line: if you take the time and thought to make the instructions clear, and minimize the amount of assembly actually needed, you won't need "smart chips" to beep at when you're doing it backwards.
(OT) Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
Most of my furniture is secondhand (for the big items), or Wal-Mart flatpack (for shelves, tables, and the like). All of the flatpack stuff was pretty easy to put together. It's not all that pretty, but I prefer function over form anyway, and at least it doesn't look like a reject from a Picasso painting.
DennyK
Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
Where this could be really useful is not in IKEA furniture, but industrial equipment. Custom Industrial equipment is a one off usually and there are many custom parts and having these LEDS would be really handy to make sure you are doing everything correctly.
For example custom machinery is usually assembled and tested in the shop and then taken apart for transporation. Now imagine before the machine is taken apart sensors are placed everywhere. Putting the machine back together again would be a snap. THAT WOULD BE USEFUL (I know I had to do it)
Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
(The idea isn't new -- Polaroid pushed this for a while as a use for their instant pictures -- but at about a dollar a picture, that's too expensive for most things complicated enough to need it. Custom machinery might be an exception.)
Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
I guess if they are going to the extra cost of putting chips in each piece this technology won't be used in the $5 desks.
Re:Dubious use of technology? (Score:2)
Furniture should never make you want to go to Home Depot and buy tools and raw material.
Great... (Score:4, Interesting)
Am I the only one who sees a certain irony in this?
In any case, you can't make anything foolproof - as soon as you do, someone breeds a dumber fool.
Re:Great... (Score:2, Funny)
Ever tried to read the manual for imported furniture?
And you thought electronics manuals could be scary...
-l
Re:Great... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Great... (Score:2)
To get the full authentic effect of that, you have to run it back and forth through babelfish about a half-dozen times...
Re:Great... (Score:2)
Or maybe they'll get cheaper. Imagine that adding the electronics raises the cost of the product 1%. But perhaps it dramatically lowers returns and/or customer support issues and the company saves 10% overall. Excellent ROI which the invisible hand will nibble away leaving us all with cheaper, if talkative, crappy furinture.
Re:Calm down everyone (Score:2)
Yeah...Right (Score:1)
What they really need this for... (Score:2)
- Freed
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:2)
I haven't found the clarity of instructions from American produced items any better than that of European or Asian produced items. In fact, I've frequently found that European-produced goods have better instructions than their American counterparts.
I think the presence of such microchips isn't a bad idea at all.
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:5, Funny)
Think hard. Is that what you *really* want? Instead of reading things like "tire now to be inserted where forks make vee-shape" do you want the bike saying it to you? I think I'd be laughing too hard to build a bicycle that kept telling me "All your training wheel are belong to back tire. For great justice, insert all handle-bar tassle." Maybe it's just me though...
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:2)
I'm exaggerating a little here, but last year a bought a couple toy cars, about twice as big as a Matchbox, and not only did it have two twist ties running through the body, but it was SCREWED to a piece of cardboard with really tiny screws and really big washers! I had to go dig out my mini screwdriver set for a small toy car! Then I ended up stripping the screws anyways. I finally ended up just breaking the screws out of the plastic with a pair of pliers.
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:2)
---
Re:What they really need this for... (Score:2)
Uhh... (Score:2)
"Yeah, I guess that goes there. IF YOU WANT TO BUILD IT WRONG! My god, you're dumber than the screwdriver you're currently holding wrong. I think I just saw the special olympics run by outside, go grab one of those kids and have him do it. And for the last friggin time THEIR ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCREWS LEFT OVER. Quit thinking I threw extras in the back, dumbass."
Re:Uhh... (Score:2)
Wait for it... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wait for it... (Score:3, Funny)
Soko
Re:Wait for it... (Score:2)
Most geek guys do, but they have to buy porn to experience it.
Re:Wait for it... (Score:2)
And you thought that stuff was overpriced before! (Score:2)
Okay, so cheap unassembled pulpwood laminated in plastic is overpriced. But wait, it has microprocessors embedded to help you assemble it.
Is that all? Not on your life!
Don't write that check just yet. We'll include a free set of batteries for all twelve embedded processors.
NOW how much would you over-pay?
If you call in the next five minutes, we'll even throw in a piezo speaker which will tell you in five languages just how stupid you are when you try to assemble the bookshelf backwards!
<sing>Come on down to Psuedo-Dane, where you know the Prices are Insane!</sing>
why.. why was i programmed to feel pain? (Score:1, Insightful)
I thought the whole point of DIY or unfinished furniture was to lower the overall price.. This sounds like something gimmicky to jack it up.
Deliever me from Swiss Furniture (Score:1)
Best if installed before: (Score:1)
Or, I could just imagine the packaging:
"Batteries not included"
Hell, finding the place to insert them would prolly take longer then putting the thing together.
But at least when it was done, those nifty green lights all over would be pretty welcoming...
Re: (Score:2)
New Liability Suit? (Score:1)
"Your honor, the plaintiff suffered severe injuries to his hand and fingers when the defendants product failed to warn him of swinging the hammer at that velocity in such close proximity to his hand."
What a 'Distraction' (Score:3, Informative)
But will it ... (Score:1)
And if so will MFI (My Furniture is Incomplete) change their name?
Imagine... (Score:1)
Ciao,
Klaus
Oh boy... (Score:1)
What about chairs that.... (Score:4, Funny)
"GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL INSTEAD OF SITTING IN AND READING SLASHDOT!"
"HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF A 300 POUND GUY SAT ON YOU ALL DAY."
IKEA nightmare (Score:1)
"Yeah, I bought this bookshelf like 2 year's ago. I just put a copy of Microserfs on it and it won't stop beeping!"
Gah! Money spent in the wrong area (Score:2)
1. put all of the little lockbolt things in the little holes.
2. Put all of the big cam things into the big holes
3. Stick all of the parts together and twist the cams until they stop.
It's not rocket science, but I'd still like a manual that was at least partially understandable.
Re:Gah! Money spent in the wrong area (Score:2)
Re:Gah! Money spent in the wrong area (Score:2)
Sounds familiar... (Score:2, Informative)
This sounds an awful lot like the building materials that told people (vocally, not via screen) how to assemble them into a building from Bruce Sterling's novel Distraction [amazon.com]. Don't need skilled labor if the bricks tell you what to do. Very interesting to see this in the real world.
mahlen
I defend myself by saying that, although this seemed immoral to me, it also seemed as though it wouldn't ever work anyway. --Fred Pohl, "The Coming of the Quantum Cats", ca. 1985
Re:Sounds familiar... (Score:4, Funny)
Relieve the frustration (Score:2, Funny)
Relieve the confusion, anger, and frustration?
"Now now... I know this is hard... you're going through a tough time, I know. Just close your eyes and count till 10... ok? Now take a deep breath and this time hit the nail with the hammer, not your thumb. You're doing a good job!"
it's annoying enough (Score:3, Funny)
This might be useful (Score:2)
Couch: It looks like you smacked your thumb with a hammer. Would you like to:
1)Swear in your native language?
2)Kick something?
3)Dial a friend to come over and laugh at you?
2001: A Furniture Oddesy (Score:2)
Bookshelf 2000: "I'm sorry Dave, but I can't let you do that" BZZZZZAAPPP!
Sverking thing. (Score:2)
We discovered an interesting thing that evening: the more difficult to assemble pieces usually have the more gutteral names. Which is convenient, because when you're screaming it in frustration, it's more satisfying. For example, when I torqued my hand on a hex wrench trying to assemble a "sverker" shelving unit, I spent a good minute and a half shouting, "Goddamn sverking sverk of a sverker!"
With this technology, I don't really expect this phenomenon to go away:
Me: Okay, lemmee see here. Almost got it...
(Electronic Female Swede): Warning. You are now applying excessive pressure to the hex wrench. Bodily injuy may result if cont...
Me: OWW! Sverking son of a sverk!
EFS: Hey, I warned you, asshole.
But what of the requisite addendum? (Score:2, Funny)
Science-Fiction link (Score:2)
One application was building construction- grab a bunch of appropriate materials, attach a CPU to each piece, and they'll begin to network together and exchange blueprints. The human builders who fit things together can be completely unskilled, because everytime someone picks up a piece, it transmits instructions to his headset telling him where it needs to be stuck in relation to all the other chunks.
This story seems to be the same idea, but on a smaller and non-self-organizing scale.
It had to be said (Score:2)
Oh, come on! (Score:2)
Here I am waiting for hydrogen cars and holodecks, what I get are talking furniture parts. Screw you guys.
Not only that.. (Score:2)
I can hear it now: "Dave, if you don't screw my leg in correctly, I'm going to come loose and stab you up the arse!"
[Dave grabs chainsaw and applies it smartly to the chair]
Should tell this to the Swedes... (Score:2)
I either praise those clever Swedish designers or curse them as dirty little reindeer eaters.
Re:Should tell this to the Swedes... (Score:2)
How about just making assembly easier? (Score:3, Insightful)
Most of the time, its just improving the instruction manual. Instead of hiring a tech company to put all this technology in, how about you just hire a few good writers to make a nice and easy to understand manual?
Sheesh
Stupid people shouldn't build desks. (Score:2)
I recently bought a large and complex second-hand desk that was unassembled. I deduced how it goes together, and I assembled it myself. Two parts were missing. I contacted the manufacturer, who was kind enough to ship them to me free of charge all the way from Quebec. The even shipped me a manual so I could verify how it goes together.
All this new technology will do is further confuse the dumb people, and insult the intelligence of people who know how figure it out. After 4 years with a computer, my boss still asks me how to save attachments in her outlook express, or how to scan and save documents. Things like computer interfaces or "Peg A goes into slot B" technologies have reached the limit of simplification. There is some technology that can't (and shouldn't) be made simpler. The only thing my boss (and dumb people trying to assemble things) would benefit more from is if someone did the work for them.
The money and effort spent on this new technology would be better served if the company started shipping pre-built furniture.
Talking chairs and fat people... (Score:2, Funny)
Of course, this would never go through, but there are other interesting possibilities with weight-sensors and perhaps people on diets...
Overheard... (Score:5, Funny)
"HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN."
"Uhh...fine?"
"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US."
"Lesse...um...base...base...Ah! Here it is. OK, do I attach the Main Column (E) to the Base (A)?"
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DOING."
"Great...OK...now I put the Main Screen (F) here...and the Zigs (M) go...here?"
"MOVE ZIG."
"Oh...here?"
"MOVE ZIG."
"Umm...er...here?"
"TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG."
"No, wait! It goes here, right? Or here?"
"SOMEONE SET UP US THE BOMB."
"Oh, c'mon, It's not that screwed up. Just lemme get my drill...and a hot glue gun..."
"HA HA HA HA."
Re:Overheard... (Score:2)
I need a life...
Why the Swiss? (OT) (Score:2)
Re:Why the Swiss? (OT) (Score:2)
It may just possibly be relevant that one of the other big furniture retailers in the Zurich area has been running a series of ads on local TV for several months promoting its full service offering: short vignettes showing young couples manhandling heavy furniture up narrow stairways, or failing to find the right bolt to fix a shelf the other is holding up, etc, with tag lines like "XYZ Furniture: we deliver it, too" or "we assemble it, too". (I believe that even the local Ikea stores are now offering delivery and installation services, though I doubt that many customers take them up on it.)
Research aside, I would have thought that adequately labelling the components of the furniture should be enough: eg stencil an "A" on tab-A and next to the slot-B that it must fit into in a place that won't be visible when everything is put together. Put removable numbered stickers on the parts showing the order that you should deal with them, matching up with the numbered diagrams in the assembly instructions. Maybe even print some brief textual instructions to supplement the pictures. It's unlikely that many slashdot readers are likely to have trouble assembling the products, but before consigning the assembly-challenged to the ranks of the terminally stupid, please bear in mind that not everyone has the same ability to visualise the construction in advance, even with the help of step by step pictures, and this is, I think, the main factor in how easy or difficult people find it to work with these products.
KARMA: Shaky (mainly affected by a missing nut in the assembly kit)
Re:Why the Swiss? (OT) (Score:2)
Here's a thought: How 'bout suplementing the hard copy with animated instructions showing how the pieces fit, either on a website, or on a CD or even DVD included in the package? (For cost purposes, though, a flash movie on the website might be best). Understood that you're making some basic assumptions about the technical savvy of your customer (has and uses DVD/PC) but it might still have *some* utility.
Hmmm... I think I'll add a new post just for that.
Typo in the article, Swedes/Swiss (Score:2)
Surely this isn't really being funded by Switzerland, it must be Sweden [ikea.com]. After all, modular furniture is their major export, isn't it?
WHY must we coddle the stupid??? (Score:3, Funny)
Idiots of the world: Here's a plan. If you're too fucking dumb to insert Tab A into Slot B yourself, then YOU hire someone to do it, and YOU incur the extra cost. Don't complain until they have to start making furniture that coaxes you through assembling it, thus jacking the price up for everyone including the intelligent people like me who can and will read and follow instructions.
This is further evidence that all that time I spent in search of knowledge in my younger days was wasted. I should have just spent it drinking beer, eating pork rinds, watching pro wrestling, NASCAR, and tractor pulls on TV like everyone else, and waiting for society to mold itself to my needs as a complete buffoon.
Hmm... maybe I can fix things myself....
/me looks around for a crayon and a mallet. [thesimpsons.com]
~Philly
Re:WHY must we coddle the stupid??? (Score:2)
Slow down there chief. If it's too hard to put something like furniture together, then it's poorly designed. Anybody remember that episode of Married with Children where Al and Jefferson were trying to assemble a work bench? They were confused because they had more 'seven shaped' brackets than 'L shaped' brackets.
Al and Jefferson aren't very bright, but there's some hints there that the workbench wasn't designed that well in the first place. The damn thing looked like an erector set! The first mistake in designing something like that is having too many different pieces that look similar. The next big mistake is making them so that they sort of work. Ever put a screw that was too small into a hole, only to have it sort of fit? Ever tried finding that screw when you had one that definitely didn't fit?
I hate my laptop because it uses screws of 3 (three) different sizes. Why do they need all the different sizes? Why couldn't they use one size of screw and be done with it? I'm sure there are internal reasons, but I don't feel like performing different permutations with 12 different screws.
However, Toshiba did something right with this laptop. Each screw hole (shaddup Beavis) has a number by it. Examples (B-4, B-6, B-8, B-10) After a little experimentation, I realized what those numbers ment. B-4 was the tiniest screw, which was probably 4mm long. B-10 was the longest one, about a centimeter long. After discovering that, I realized that Toshiba compensated for their bad design! Seeing as how only authorized technicians are supposed to work on the machine *sheepish grin*, that made sense. Good choice on Tosihiba's part!
Furniture has little excuse for being hard to assemble. Even PCs, which are far more complicated, make it virtually impossible to plug something in the wrong place. That's called good design.
In any case, the summary of my point is that difficulty isn't a matter of intelligence, it's a matter of design.
Technology for technology's sake (Score:3, Insightful)
Optional modules: (Score:2)
Customer to furniture: "I need the TV section 3 inceh wider"
Furniture: "You will need a 3/16" drill bit, and a measuring tape to complete the modofication"
Instructions follow....
Or... as is(at least used to be) so common, you are missing some bit that is essential to contruction. You can point to the missing piece on some pressure sensitive photo of parts, and the computer will automatically call-up the store and order the missing bits for you. You don't have to try explaining what you need to a person "The long brown screw with the stop sign hole at the top. It's a little longer than the door handle on the glass and shorter than the crosspiece at the shelf support"
Brainstorm other uses of uP's in furniture (Score:2)
and it will only take minutes..... (Score:3, Funny)
"While you are assembling subassembly B.... wouldn't this be more fun with a Pepsi? Or better yet Dominoes Pizza is great during furniture assembly"
or
"Warning: the structure is unstable this way... Band-Aid brand medical bandages will help protect those wounds"
Yes, but does it scream? (Score:2)
Classic Abuse (Score:2)
This is a classic (or soon to be) example of abuse of technology.
Of all of the means available for 'instruction' for assembly available
(12 language pidgen printed manuals, unpictable pictograms, VHS tapes,
CDROMs, Online webpages, 8/900# telephone help lines, and pdf versions),
this one makes my skin crawl.
Now if they could apply it to refolding a roadmap, maybe I could tolerate it.
One more backseat driver, in the car probably wouldn't phase me.
.
Please reboot for changes.... (Score:2)
Smart furniture... (Score:2)
Tab A into Slot B (Score:2)
Torin's Passage (Score:2)
Anyways, there is a scene in the game where Torin must cross a slippery, grassy area. And the grass talks to you while you move your cursor to select where Torin should jump. When it's in the wrong spot, shrill, high-pitched, annoyingly LOUD voices shriek at you saying:
"Nope! Not Here! No Way! Nope! Unh-uh"
If I had to hear that while trying to assemble a computer desk or an entertainment center or something, I'd probably use the tools included to stab out my ear drums.
Classification (Score:2)
Anyone see the video? (Score:2)
On to my subject: There's a 116 MB video [vision.ethz.ch] on their site. I downloaded the whole thing at work (way fast) and watched it (about 5 minutes or so). It's pretty deadpan, and shows a guy putting together an Ikea Pax armoire unit. (It just so happens that I have three of these myself. They're pretty straight-forward to assemble, just quite heavy at 50 kilos per unit, not including doors or shelves.) There's also footage of the developer discussing how his ideas work, with some overlays of accelerometer output and the like. The clip ends with the builder standing proudly next to the completed armoire, as the image fades to black. After a short pause, there is a loud crash, so I think these guys had a sense of humor about their project.
In other news... (Score:2)
Good news/Bad news (Score:2)
The problem is, you have one of three options.
1) Listen to the instructions in Japanese
2) Listen to very broken English mushmouthed by a Swede "Fronken A, B tab slot do in be putting. Shmicken C Swivel Trocker B connect do be."
3) Destroying the microprocessors with a very large ball peen hammer.
Imagine... (Score:2)
Overkill? (Score:2)
Couldn't a few transistors and some LEDs serve the same purpose at a tiny fraction of the cost?
Or couldn't furniture companies hire more proficent people to write and translate assembley instructions, draw understandable diagrams, or number/color-code parts. Quite low-tech, but also quite efficent and useful...
If you can't do it, then don't (Score:2)
I've met people who should not own a hammer, who use one anway. They manage to get their pictures hung, but anyone who knows how to use a hammer laughs at the attempt. This is for something simple. They should not put furnature togather, they should buy it assembled.
Note that these people are not stupid, just they have no mechanical skills. Several have honestly (well, as honest as lawyers can be anyway) earned several million dollars.
If you can't handle mechanical things, no problem. There are plenty of people who can be hired to do that for you. I can't do a very good job of cutting hair, but I hire that done. Nor am I a very good lawyer, doctor, writer, dog trainer. No problem, I recignise my limits, and choose what I do. I could be some of the above, but I can't learn all of the above, so I hire experts. (In fact I have hired, or plan to hire all of the above mentioned experts)
Sex Education is obsolete (Score:2)
Unimaginative computer geeks!
Dangerous? (Score:2)
"Please stop. It is not safe to throw this kit out the window, as it may hit someone below."
Animated Instructions (Score:2)
Here's a thought: How 'bout suplementing the hard copy with animated instructions showing how the pieces fit, either on a website, or on a CD or even DVD included in the package? (For cost purposes, though, a flash movie on the website might be best). Understood that you're making some basic assumptions about the technical savvy of your customer (has and uses DVD/PC) but it might still have *some* utility.
That is the bad part... (Score:2)
If someone is too damn dumb to assemble a piece of prefab furniture, I want them to do something dangerous and get the hell out of the gene pool. I mean, really, we as a society are making it WAAAY too easy to be a moron...
Re:That is the bad part... (Score:2)
Re:Warning of Danger (Score:2)
I don't want my furniture feeling pain. Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to revenge. Next thing you know my toilet decides to take scuplting lessons when I bring a girl over.