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Space

First Man To Mars? 145

An anonymous reader writes "Lee Goldberg posted this story which he says is "...the true story of how I sent the first interplanetary necro-cosmonaut to Mars." An entertaining read."
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First Man To Mars?

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  • by DocSnyder ( 10755 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @04:46AM (#4075380)
    A small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind.
  • This is cool (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Ryan Amos ( 16972 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @04:47AM (#4075383)
    While it is a tad sentimental and sappy, it's cool to see these little "easter eggs" on public projects. It's especially cool that it means something (even if the promise was made under duress of alcohol. ;)

  • by SystematicPsycho ( 456042 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @04:52AM (#4075391)
    Don't space agencies forbid any form of bacteria from leaving the earth and being placed on other planets/moons? Won't that 'contaminate' the planet mars? I guess it's a matter of time before man gets there and plunders it anyway.
    • by eclectro ( 227083 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @05:30AM (#4075458)
      At first thought this might seem to be a concern. But remember, these were ashes that had come from a fire. On top of that, read the story carefully to see that the ashes were mixed with an epoxy, then sealed in a metal cube. I seriously doubt that there is even a remote chance of stray bacteria being there.
      • ashes (Score:2, Insightful)

        by dpilot ( 134227 )
        Ashes yes, but subject to no special handling, not to mention Flintstones-contamination. The epoxy probably helped. Of far more concern would be precautions taken when handling the metal cube, itself.

        This was only meant to be an orbital probe, so presumably it shouldn't matter. But orbits decay, and accidents happen.

        The big issue with keeping Earthly contamination away from Mars is so that we can *know* what we truly find there is native, if we find something.
        • Re:ashes (Score:2, Interesting)

          by sunspot42 ( 455706 )
          Is the entire probe sterilized after construction? Also, wouldn't the hard radiation in space do a pretty good job of killing any bugs that might have hitched a ride aboard the ashes?

          The author also says he omitted a few things from his story. It's possible one of the things he omitted was the sterilization of the ashes.
          • I would have guessed that sterilization was the reason he mentioned going in through an airlock to get to the probe. I would further guess that sterilization is done piecemeal, and that final assembly is all done after the airlock. I would not expect hard radiation in space to do a thorough job of killing bugs. Anything on the surface yes, but bugs buried inside may well survive.
    • I knew I wasn't imagning this -

      NASA is considering a plan to crash Galileo at the end of its mission into Jupiter to avoid the possibility of the satellite contaminating possible life on Europa. (July 4, 2000) Nasa Probes Crashing Explorer [wired.com]
    • Well the spacecraft was an orbiter, not a lander. even if it fell out of orbit, old Ira would have been burnt to a crisp.

    • Good observation. The story is that since Mars Obsrver was not intended to land on Mars, it was excempted from the rigorous sterilization process that Viking, Sojurner, and other landers are required to undergo in observance of a United Nations protocol. We (GE and JPL) were however, required to file a "Planetary Protection Plan" which described how the program intended to guarantee we would keep Mars Observer out of contact with the Martian biosphere for several thousand years at minimum. If I recall properly, the plan includes a provision to re-boost the craft to a "safe" orbit in which it will not decay for a long time after its operational mission is completed. If you want details, I can put you in touch with the fellow who wrote the actual plan.
    • From your very use of that word it seems to imply that we shouldn't go there. For once we are heading in the direction where there is no life that we could in any way exploit, but even that is not enough for you, we have to keep these untouched barren environment untouched? The only concern about Earth life ending up on mars is that it would make it hard to determine if there ever was or is life there (and even if there was actual life there, I don't care except from a detached scientific viewpoint.). My favorite wackos are those that question our attempts to utilize the moon, argueing that it should remain untouched. I have an idea, you guys stay down here, those of us with adventure and courage will go up there. Just dont tell us what to do.
      • no.. we _should go there but before we do the unanswered questions need to be answered first. Before the planet is contanminated and we start growing tomatoes there etc, we need to explore the possibility of life before we got there. Sending a decontaminated lander there is okay, but sending a canister full of ashes is a potential disaster.
        • Yep. No arguement there. I am a science geek. Its just the way that you couched your statement it seemed that you were another one of those environmental wackos that would want to keep us from going into space because we would polute it. Those people drive me NUTS... There was an article a couple of months ago about moon development, and there are actually groups that feel that the moon should not be commercially used.
          • LOL, yeah I know the ones. I'm not the person that was stopping Cassini from leaving the earth because of a chance it might blow up and radiate the planet, those ppl are not scientists but greenpeace pests that forbid the human race from developing any further. I guess my plunder comment came from watching 'Total Recall' recently but it was half a sarcastic comment.
    • No, NASA does not forbid basteria from it`s spacecrafts.

      However... in 1976, they Viking landers were the first to do an in-depth analysis of life on Mars (or perhaps, lack thereof). NASA`s chief wanted to be absolutely certain that they craft did not detect Earth-borne bacteria that had simply hitchhiked along with the Viking landers, so he had the nosecones (where the landers were placed on the launchpad) heated to 350 degrees F to kill any bacteria onboard, without frying the craft's equipment.
    • It's quite serious. There were only a few people involved and NASA's permission was not asked.
  • by Howzer ( 580315 ) <grabshot&hotmail,com> on Thursday August 15, 2002 @04:54AM (#4075395) Homepage Journal
    This week, kids, we learn how to start an urban myth [snopes2.com]. I'll summarise the steps you need and then expand in more detail.

    1. Use an existing, well established "link story" that everyone knows is true. Insects bite people. Bill Gates talks about computers. People have had their ashes taken up on the Space Shuttle.

    2. Put a "twist" in the tale that makes the average listener smile, and raise their eyebrows. Some insects lay things in you when they bite [snopes.com]. Bill Gates said we'll only ever need 640K [urbanlegends.com]. Ashes don't only go on the shuttle (link left as an exercise for the reader).

    3. Get a website. These days this is free (as in beer).

    Ah bugger the lesson, I think you lot saw my point 4 paragraphs ago. I'll be happy to wager with anyone on how long it takes before this is credibly and totally debunked. I'm betting 72 hours.

    • Bill Gates [never] said we'll only ever need 640K.

      ('Never' added, as implied on the supplied link to urbanlegends.com).

      Of course Bill Gates has an excellent memory [nwsource.com] and never tells any lies.

      • by iapetus ( 24050 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @06:10AM (#4075521) Homepage

        Well, even if we assume that Bill is right on this one, and that he never claimed 640K would be enough, at least there's evidence for my personal favourite Bill Gates quote, as shown in this interview with Herman Hauser:

        Q: Do you lie awake at night worrying that you'll be first again , but that someone else will make the money?


        A: No [...] I often tell the story that Bill gates was trying to sell me MS-DOS in the early 80s and I had to say "Bill, we can't possibly take such a retrograde step, because our operating system really is an operating system and has many features that MS-DOS doesn't have. [...] schoolboy can type 'I am Johnny' into one of our computers and be logged on through the network to a local fileserver. They can use the same commands to get files down from the server that they've learned with a floppy disk." And Bill's answer to that was, "What's a network?"
    • You know, you have forgotten one very important rule of an urban legend, Make sure there is no possible correlating evidence to be had, so there if there is any doubt it will always remain doubt. In this case however I see several possibilities of where such evidence could be had, 1. The original specs for the I.R.A. module, 2. NASA Records of said module, 3. machine shop records of creating said module. 4. look at the design of the space craft and see if what he has described even fits within the design parameters. Having said that, I feel that this is possible, although a bit of incredulity is inherent in any story of this nature.
    • Hi Howzer - You have every right to think that this is just another urban myth, like the JATO-powered Car, or the scuba diver who ended up in the forest fire, but I'm on the level with this one. Your comments are well-reasoned and fair, and had I not acutally been involved with the project, I'd be leveling the same accusations. There probably is no way I can convince you of this, but you, or anyone else can write me at lgoldberg@green-electronics.com to discuss the facts of the matter. I really worked on the Mars Observer mission and can tell you what I know and what did as a payload accommodations specialist at GE (the subcontractor to JPL for the MO bus), and let you be the judge for yourself. Best, LEE
    • I'm not kidding. It happened to me when I was a kid, growing up in Zambia. I still have the scars on my leg, and was a very painful and gross experience. If you leave your clothes out on the line at night, they lay eggs or something on your clothes. Then the insect burrows a larva in under your skin, where it festers and grows, and eventually flies out if you let it. You kill it by putting vasoline over the wound so the larva can't breathe. After it's died, you pop it out, along with a lot of puss.

      I'm REALLY NOT making this up. Notice that the snopes.com article talks about SPIDERS crawling out of womens' cheeks, not other bugs. Check out the section under "Warble(s)" here [roanokewildlife.org], for instance.
    • Actually, Lee is a friend of mine...and he used to be my editor at ChipCenter [chipcenter.com], before ChipCenter set all of us free. He did work at NASA, he swears the story is true, he's never lied to me before, ergo, I believe him. :)
    • After emailing a few times with the author of that most myth-seeming story, I have to say that I am now convinced.

      He has made clear to me things that were not clear in the original link - far better explaining the motives behind the actions of the team. Motives which were the primary reason why I came out so strongly for "myth". He understands my objections, and I believe I understand his actions.

      To quote and slightly paraphrase the less-than-perfect adaption of Carl Sagan's classic book: "I, for one, believe him."

      Slightly glad I didn't take any bets! :)

  • by jukal ( 523582 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @04:55AM (#4075399) Journal
    sources from outer space just informed me that the project to rebuild Ira from the ashes is almost complete. Martians have only one problem left, the DNA sample sample captured from the ashes is missing cooking instructions for the skull and face and they had to slip in a little bit of martian DNA. Now they are afraid to send Ira back to Earth, not to reveal the true origins of martian codenamed "Mr. Bill Gates."
  • That's a cute and a little obscure story, but as long as no evidence are provided still a story ;)

    I bo longer believe in Santa, Little Folks, Faeries or martians why sould I believe in stuff just because there was something in the internet.
    • It's too early for me to be reading slashdot. For a second there, I thought you said you no longer believe in Santa Fe.

      Maran
    • Few may be aware but 'Solothane' is not used in aerospace circles. The stuff is called 'Solithane' and while it is clear and viscous, it's a two-part mix, a bit like an epoxy resin. I would have expected reference to that - it's not something that comes out of a can as one liquid. So, interesting, but... (and I'll not even begin on what this implies for the COSPAR regulations on contamination control)
      • Few may be aware but 'Solothane' is not used in aerospace circles. The stuff is called 'Solithane' and while it is clear and viscous, it's a two-part mix, a bit like an epoxy resin.

        Google turns up exactly one link to "blue solothane". (At least until it gets to index this article.) Guess which one. It also turns up exactly one link to "blue solithane [inspections.nl]".

        During review of the PTA electronics, capacitors are found not to be staked.
        This is requirement governed by the NASA workmanship standard NHB 5300.
        Blue solithane is a preferred material for staking electrical components on printed circuit boards.

        Looking for more info on Solithane, I find that it is a urethane polymer, commonly used as a conformal coating on printed circuit boards. Solithane 113 is pale yellow with a clear catalyst (castor oil). Some variations do include flourescent brighteners, so it is not impossible that there could indeed be a blue version.

        • Yep - Solithane's two components are colourless (well, the fatty acid ester liquid is 'straw-colour') and can be coloured with pigments.


          But, it's still sol*i*thane, and if the guy worked anywhere near s/c assembly folk, he would have known that.


          Plus, it's really not nice stuff. I have had the displeasure of using it on flight hardware, and it's "fume cupboard and gloves time" to mix and apply it. Carcinogenic, mutagenic, and chock full of nasty solvents, but it's tough, low out-gassing, and qualified for flight.


          Nuff said.

      • Sorry about the spelling of Solithane, I am, er, was an eletrical tech and only handled potting compounds on rare occasions. I always knew the stuff as "Blue Sol" but not its full name, and used it a few times for legitimate purposes, Since I had only basic skills with space-rated adhesives and compounds, I usually left those tasks to the mech techs. Had I known about the compound's toxicity - mentioned by an earlier poster - I'd have left the damned stuff in the freezer where it belonged and let the mechs deal with it all - except for potting up Ira. Thanks for the info - if I end up with a weird cancer, I'll know where it came from. LEE
        • >Had I known about the compound's toxicity -
          > mentioned by an earlier poster
          >- I'd have left the damned stuff in the freezer where it belonged

          Darned right. The non-ester component is solvated with toluene-diisocyante (TDI) at low mixing fractions, which, for a small number of individuals leads to sensitisation and they are then sensitive to this stuff (blotches, rash, etc) at vanishingly low levels thereafter.

          Moral? Check the hazmat documents, and don't tell anyone at COSPAR (the bioload of ash kept in a drawer in a vitamin bottle is almost certainly not zero)

  • Who do you want to send to Mars:

    1. Osama bin Laden should be nuked all the way there
    2. George W. Bush - no more stupid quotes
    3. Michael Jackson is not of this earth
    4. CowboyNeal - phone home
  • Go IRA? (Score:4, Funny)

    by calumr ( 175014 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @05:25AM (#4075449)
    My shirt was one of another dozen that I'd added one more symbol to. On the sleeve under the crossed fingers were two words, printed in bold letters: "GO IRA!" Back in the launch control complex, Nick wore his GO IRA shirt as well.

    You may not want to wear those next time you visit Belfast... Not unless you happen to have any sort of attachment to your kneecaps.

  • Wow (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Of course, unbeknownst to the engineer, the I.R.A. module was used to secure the J.A.N.E. Wireing harness, which was actually my wife's braided hair.
  • I'll counter the necro by having my hero buy a wand of negation.

    Now where do I find those goblins on the mars map...
  • ... that by the end of this decade, we should send the first Lego astonaut to Mars.
  • by Zarf ( 5735 )
    and Viking one is supposed to have a "Christmas Angel" on board too. My son told me that one. And he told me you can use popcorn as fuel to travel interplanetary space too. Ofcourse he was five when he told me that. Something about a "Brave Toaster" or something...
  • by fmita ( 517041 ) on Thursday August 15, 2002 @07:35AM (#4075648) Homepage Journal
    One might refer to this Ira as an ASHtronaut! Puns should be illegal.
  • Sending any kind of ash to a planet does not qualify as sending someone. How about some of my toe jam to be sent to mars? Just think of the new life forms.
  • Bah! (Score:2, Insightful)

    Ok, assuming this is true, it would be grossly irresponsible to put millions of dollars, the reputation of NASA, and the hard work of thousands of designers and engineers at risk simply for nostalgic notions of friendship. Did he test his dead-friend\epoxy mixture to see how it would withstand the pressures of space flight?

    Reading stuff like this kinda pisses me off because I would very much like to see man get to Mars in my lifetime. It's hard enough to muster public support for space programs these days.

    Of course, this whole rant is moot if it is, indeed, an urban myth...

  • I thought that they were the first to reach mars... in Wierdo from Another Planet [amazon.com]
  • Wow (Score:1, Funny)

    by Azureash ( 571772 )
    The average Slashdot reader must be even dumber than I thought. Obviously this is fiction... You want a real story about people traveling into space? Ask the Russians. Some of their cosmonauts were still alive when they floated away from earth.
  • someone please calculate the probability of one of "your" molecules i.e. which were part of an individual human being , have gone to distance X from the earth? any element not a specific one. ..on a related note whats the probability you are breathing the exact molecule some Y may have also done so Z years ago.(like jesus, or confucius, or some mega celebrity).
  • LEE GOLDBERG - Armed with a Bachelors in electrical engineering from Thomas Edison College, Lee spent 20 years deep in the bowels of the electronics industry before deciding to trade in his scope probe for a pen. During this time, he gained experience in designing and using microprocessor-based systems for everything from measuring the thickness of baby bottle nipples to monitoring and controlling solar and wind-power generating systems. An eight-year stint in the aerospace industry found him heavily involved with the design and test of scientific instruments for an interplanetary spacecraft.

    http://www.chipcenter.com/networking/goldberg_bio. html [chipcenter.com]
  • Imagine how much cheaper Apollo would have been if Kennedy omitted "and return him safely to Earth" from his speech.
  • A good story, but there's no way to check whether it's true.
    • Fer what it's worth, I know/knew most of the parties involved and the story fits the sequence of events.

      Corroborating evidence: If someone posts the first line off the back of one of the MO Launch Team tee shirts, I'll post the second. (Which proves I know something about the internals of the MO project, not that Ira is in solar orbit presently.)

      - pdmoderator

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