jamie writes "Delaware Republican Senate nominee Christine O'Donnell claimed in 2007 that: 'American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.' Current polls indicate that 39% of Delawareans plan to vote for her." If elected, O'Donnell and staff promise to do the same thing they do every night: try to take over the world.

An anonymous reader writes "Be careful mentioning Dr. Ann De Wees Allen. She's made it clear that she's trademarked her name and using it is 'illegal... without prior written permission.' She even lists out the names of offenders and shows you the cease-and-desist letter she sends them. And, especially don't copy any of the text on her website, because she's using a bit of javascript that will warn you 'Copyright Protect!' if you right click on a link."

We all know that god protects The Holy Father, but just in case, Pope Benedict XVI has a new hi-tech ride for his tour of the UK. The new "Popemobile" boasts: an air filtration system to protect against biological and chemical attacks, a bomb-proof undercarriage, 3-inch-thick explosive proof glass, and a top speed of 160mph. Made from a modified Mercedes-Benz M-Class 'green petrol' SUV, The Pope's new truck comes with a big pricetag: more than £200,000. I can't wait to find one of these in Fallout 4.

wenaway writes "Mark Zable, creator of Fried Beer, brought his creation to the State Fair in Texas. He walked away from the fair with the most creative award and is now gearing up for larger production. The Fried Beer is actually a pretzel dough ravioli injected with beer and then deep fried to perfection. What's next? Fried booze."

An anonymous reader writes "IBM, whose former patent boss is in charge of the USPTO these days, and which claims to support patent reform, has just been awarded a patent on choose-your-own-adventure style movies, despite plenty of prior art. Whatever happened to fixing the patent system, rather than continuing these mistakes?"

According to this article, the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Department knows that Pedobear is an Internet joke, but that hasn't stopped them from trying to warn the public about him. Their most recent tool in the fight against internet memes is this public safety information bulletin entitled: "An Introduction to PEDO BEAR." I look forward to the bulletin warning parents about the dangers of children playing in Chocolate Rain.

Universal Orlando isn't saying the guests on their Harry Potter rides are fatter than the usual amusement park visitor, but they are enlarging seats and restraints on the rides. The park has heard numerous complaints from guests too big to squeeze into some of the most popular rides. They have only adjusted a few rides for the extra tonnage so far but plan on updating them all soon.

An anonymous reader writes "A woman named Kimberly Shields was arrested after her identity was stolen, as police blamed the real Shields for the activities of the fake Shields. After being held in jail and strip searched, Shields finally pointed out that she looked different from the woman the police were after. She was kept in jail for 24 more hours and finally released. When she sued the police for this, rather than an apology, the lawyers for the police insisted she should thank the police for realizing the error and letting a judge know, rather than keeping her in jail."

An anonymous reader writes "Steve Jobs, while on a family vacation to Japan in July, picked himself up some Shuriken, otherwise known as Ninja throwing stars, as a souvenir. In his wisdom he decided to put them in his carry on luggage for the return journey. As it was a private plane he probably thought there would be no issue, but he was wrong. Even private plane passengers have to have all their baggage scanned, and the throwing stars were detected and deemed a hazard. It's alleged that Jobs argued that he could take them on the plane as no one could steal them on his private jet and use them. Security at the airport disagreed and demanded he remove the stars. Jobs, clearly angry at losing his throwing weapons, stated he would not be returning to the country." Undoubtedly this is part of the iNinja project.

There is some bad news for McNugget lovers. Thanks to a store closure in northeastern California, you can now be as far 115 miles from a McDonald's in the contiguous United States. The new "McFarthest" spot is in northwest Nevada, replacing the previous in South Dakota by eight heart-pounding, artery-clogged miles.

British teenager Luke Angel has been banned from the US for sending an email to the White House calling President Obama an obscenity. The 17-year-old says he was drunk when he sent the mail and doesn't understand what the big deal is. "I don't remember exactly what I wrote as I was drunk. But I think I called Barack Obama a p***k. It was silly -- the sort of thing you do when you're a teenager and have had a few," he said. The FBI contacted local police who in turn confronted Luke and let him know that the US Department of Homeland Security didn't think his email was funny. "The police came and took my picture and told me I was banned from America forever. I don't really care but my parents aren't very happy," Angel said.

destinyland writes "An Australian Parliament member has resigned after admitting he'd used government computers to access porn and gambling sites. McLeay 'gave an uncomfortable press conference outside Parliament House,' notes one technology site, 'during which he admitted he had acted in a standard not expected of cabinet ministers.' Paul McLeay was also the Minister for Mineral and Forest Resources as well as the Minister for Ports and Waterways. In resigning, he apologized to his constituents and parliamentary colleagues, as well as to his wife and family."

Daehenoc writes "Thanks to a lawyer in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, we now know that the Bible makes a better smoke than the Koran. From the article: 'In the clip, titled "Bible or Koran - which burns best?", the professed atheist says burning religious books is no big deal and people need to get over it. "It's just a f---ing book," he says. "Who cares? It's your beliefs that matter. Quite frankly, if you are going to get upset about a book, you're taking life way too seriously."'

Norwegian radio journalist Pia Beathe Pedersen quit on the air complaining that her bosses were making her read news on a day when "nothing important has happened." Pedersen claimed that broadcaster NRK put too much pressure on the staff and that she "wanted to be able to eat properly again and be able to breathe," during her nearly two-minute on-air resignation.

Kilrah_il writes "A burglary ring was caught in Nashua, NH due to the vigilance of an off-duty police officer. The group is credited with 50 acts of burglary, the targets chosen because they posted their absence from home on the Internet. '"Be careful of what you post on these social networking sites," said Capt. Ron Dickerson. "We know for a fact that some of these players, some of these criminals, were looking on these sites and identifying their targets through these social networking sites."' Well, I guess the prophecies came true."

theodp writes "TechFlash reports that Microsoft celebrated the completion and upcoming launch of Windows Phone 7 on Friday with a 'Windows Phone Pride Parade' complete with zombies, a 'Thriller' Dance, and pallbearers carrying a giant iPhone. 'These kind of "ship" parties are common throughout the industry,' explained Microsoft communications VP Frank Shaw. 'It's a great way for teams that have worked overtime to create a kick-ass product blow off steam and have a little fun.'"

Flash Modin writes "In the last two weeks, both water and fire tornadoes have been widely covered by the media. As any physicists would have, we immediately thought 'I want to do that!' SO... You should absolutely, under no circumstances, not attempt to recreate the following fire tornado; but if you did, here's exactly what you would need, how you would do it, and what it would look like."

An anonymous reader writes "Dwight Eschliman, a San Francisco dad and internationally recognized photographer, wanted to answer the question, 'what's in a Twinkie?' So he took one of America's favorite foods — the Twinkie — and deconstructed it by purchasing each of the 37 ingredients and then photographing them."

pickens writes "The NY Times reports that the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Melbourne has announced a ban on the playing of pop music at funerals, which, he said, are not to be described as 'a celebration of the life of' the deceased. According to new guidelines published on Archbishop Denis Hart's Web site: 'Secular items are never to be sung or played at a Catholic funeral, such as romantic ballads, pop or rock music, political songs, football club songs.' According to a cemetery contacted by Melbourne's Herald Sun, a list of more unusual songs played at Australian funerals includes: 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' by Monty Python, 'Another One Bites the Dust' by Queen, 'Highway to Hell,' by AC/DC and 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead' from The Wizard of Oz."

In a perfect mix of Lolcats and viral marketing IKEA recently let 100 cats loose in one of their stores. The idea behind the commercial is that the cats would naturally seek out the most comfortable furniture. I can't wait until they try this with badgers.