bradley13 writes "When the world's most gullible bank robber went in to rob a bank, the teller told him she needed to see two forms of ID before she could give him the money. Now he's enjoying three hots and a cot. From the article: 'A judge sentenced 49-year-old Nathan Wayne Pugh of Sachse (SAK'-see) to more than eight years on Tuesday. Pugh tried to hold up a Dallas Wells Fargo Bank in July. The teller stalled Pugh by telling him she needed to see two forms of ID. Pugh showed her his Wells Fargo debit card and a state ID card. He was captured as he tried to flee with $800.'"

An anonymous reader writes "From the article: 'A postal worker in Petrozavodsk, a town in the republic of Karelia, noticed a ticking package and immediately called the police. On inspection a police officer decided that the package needed the close attention of the specialist bomb squad. The area was evacuated and the emergency response bomb squad quickly swooped on Petrozavodsk to deal with the ticking suspect package. The package was dealt with in all the controlled measures you would expect when nerves are jangling expecting a bomb to be detonated. Within seconds of a controlled response to the suspected bomb nerves quickly turned to laughter as the now defused package was seen to be just a vibrating sex toy that had been activated within its box. '"

An anonymous reader writes "After being told it can no longer sell its Apple CEO Steve Jobs action figure, M.I.C. Gadget has been ordered to kill off its Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg action figure as well. The lifelike Zuckerberg doll was available for $70 online, but now Facebook has had it banned, just like Apple did for the Jobs doll." Still waiting for a lifelike 'CmdrTaco' doll with Carpal Tunnel Grip.

The national Society of Professional Journalists plans to 'honor' Utah's Gov. Gary Herbert with the first-ever Black Hole award for a restrictive new open records law. From the article: "David Cuillier, SPJ's Freedom of Information Committee chief and a journalism professor at the University of Arizona, said he'll try to present the award to Herbert on Wednesday. The award, Cuillier said, is part of Sunshine Week, an annual initiative begun in 2002 to promote greater transparency in government. Nominations were gathered from around the country, but Cuillier said 'there was no question' the award should go to Herbert as the chief executive of the state."

tetrahedrassface writes "An Iowanian is living on nothing but beer for the 46 days of Lent. J.Wilson, a blogger, and editor of the weekly Adams County Free Press modeled this Lent exercise on 17'th century German Monks who practiced liquid fasts. Using a custom made grog that has high caloric values is key as Wilson says because ordinary light beer just doesn't have enough nutritional value. He has already lost 11 pounds while following his weekday four a day and weekend 5 a day beer scheme."

An Anon Coward writes "A book titled — 'What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex' — containing blank pages has been lapped up by youths, making it a bestseller at Amazon. British author Sheridan Simove's book with 200 blank pages implies that men think of absolutely nothing apart from sex."

An AC writes "Mathematicians invented a new method to can and bottle stout beers like Guinness while still getting that satisfying head. From the article: '... a crack group of mathematicians from the University of Limerick, led by William Lee, has modeled bubble formation in stout beers in detail. Their work suggests that lining the rims of cans and bottles with a material similar to an ordinary coffee filter would be a simpler, cheaper alternative to the widget. The team’s calculations show that a copious number of bubbles would form from air trapped inside the hollow fibers making up this lining. They have just submitted their work for publication in Physical Review E and are hoping that industry will soon begin testing their proposal.'"

One can only imagine how enraged the Kinect would have been if it found out he had broken the ToS.

Al-Shamikha magazine looks to give fashion and beauty advice to the widows of suicide bombers as well as tips on getting your children to blow themselves up too. From the article: "A woman called Umm Muhanad hails her husband for his bravery after his suicide bombing in Afghanistan. And another article urges readers to give their lives for the Islamist cause. It advises: 'From martyrdom, the believer will gain security, safety and happiness.' More traditional content for a women's magazine includes features on the merits of honey facemasks, etiquette, first aid and why readers should avoid 'towelling too forcibly.'"

60-year-old Hiromitsu Shinkawa was rescued by maritime self-defence forces 10 miles off the coast of Japan, sitting on part of his roof. Hiromitsu had returned home to retrieve belongings after hearing off the coming tsunami, but was caught by the wave and spent two days on his roof drifting in the ocean. He was quoted as saying: "No helicopters or boats that came nearby noticed me. I thought that day was going to be the last day of my life."

An anonymous reader writes "A Facebook photo of a stolen 3 carat diamond ring recently helped police solve a jewelry theft. After rings and other items valued at more than $16,000 were taken from a home on Saturday, a friend of the victim's roommate saw one of the items on the social network. 20-year-old Crystal Yamnitzky captioned the photo with the following message: 'Look what Robby gave me I love him so much,' in reference to her 21-year-old boyfriend Robert Driscoll. Yamnitzky's cousin saw the post and told some friends, who alerted police. Both Yamnitzky and Driscoll have been charged in the case."

Kilrah_il writes "Whether you think it is useful or useless, you can't ignored the sheer cool geekiness of a game played entirely in the URL bar. From the article: '... While getting lost in a three dimensional virtual world amongst increasingly thoughtful plot and character development may be an adequate pastime for some, the only new title the gaming world should be talking about is URL Hunter, an experimental keyboard-character based game played entirely in your browser's URL bar.'"

An anonymous reader writes "Scientists believe a spider could lead to a breakthrough in sexual health after finding a single bite can cause a four-hour erection. According to the report, researchers at the Medical College of Georgia believe the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider could lead to a new cure for erectile dysfunction. Dr Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the college, said it works in a different way to Viagra. 'This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them,' she said. Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction."

theodp writes "A newly-surfaced Microsoft patent application describes methods of secretly matching up individuals whose shared 'fringe interests' might be 'a source of shame or embarrassment' to them should they become known to society-at-large. No, not sexual preferences. A much bigger taboo. Comic books. 'For example,' explains Microsoft in its filing, 'an ambitious professional is not likely to divulge that he likes, say, comic books, even though quite true. Appreciably, certain affinities especially those relating to fringe interests, eccentricities, or topics about which there is a common misconception or very little mainstream familiarity or understanding are generally omitted rather than included in conventional descriptions. Typically, this is so because these affinities might be a source of shame or embarrassment or incur undue explanation.'"

Giancarlo Sabatini managed to elude police for almost 10 years, but in the end his wife's lasagna was his undoing. From the article: "Acting on a tip, police staked out the homes of Sabatini's wife and daughter Tuesday in Rocca Priora, a town near Rome. When they spied the daughter leaving her mother's house and furtively dashing toward her home bearing a tray of lasagna, police, suspecting a secret guest, burst in and arrested Sabatini."

An anonymous reader writes "38-year-old Stephen Andreassen ended a relationship with 36-year-old Rebecca Pattinson, and immediately started creating websites to insult, embarrass, and terrorize her. Andreassen was apparently annoyed that Pattinson said no when he asked her to look at an apartment together after four weeks of dating, so he created up to 35 blogs to get back at her. After the breakup, Andreassen began bombarding her with calls, e-mails, texts, and Facebook messages begging to be taken back. Pattinson reacted by threatening to call the police, removing all her contact details from her online profiles, and deactivating her Facebook account. Andreassen then set up a series of blogs, posting messages to warn all men about her and listing links to his other websites giving his account of their affair."

sciencehabit writes "Most male mammals wield a penis covered with spines made of keratin, the same material that forms fingernails, to sweep out competitors' sperm and irritate a female into ovulating. Even chimpanzees, our closest relatives, have penile spines. So why don't men? A new study suggests that this feature disappeared due to a chunk of DNA that went missing after our evolutionary divergence from chimps. The researchers have identified another DNA deletion that may have contributed to humans' bigger brains."

A couple of Swedish bank robbers had the perfect plan: sneak inside a bank vault on Friday, spend all weekend emptying safe deposit boxes, escape when the bank opens again on Monday. They would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling pee bottles they left behind. From the article: "They managed to surprise bank staff and escape when the vault was reopened. But prosecutor Frederik Larsen said they forgot to take the urine with them 'so we were able to get their DNA samples from the bottles.' The evidence helped prosecutors win a 21-month prison sentence for the Swede. His accomplice is still at large and the loot hasn't been recovered."

A Washington State bill that would narrow the definition of what a service animal is has an Olympia man hissing mad. The new bill seeks to limit the species that could be considered service animals to only dogs and miniature horses. Daniel Green uses a snake. He says he's taught the snake to hug him when it feels an epileptic seizure coming on. From the article: "At a Senate Labor committee hearing, Green said the new law would preclude him from going to many places. Green kept his snake in a bag during the hearing, but did take it out outside the building. Restaurants and other retailers have backed the measure, saying that allowing any animal to be considered a service animal creates health hazards and other problems to their customers."

Durfee high school students who can't seem to get to school in time are now getting robo-calls from their principal to wake them up. From the article: "Durfee joins the ranks of US schools taking on the added role of alarm clock to combat high rates of tardiness and absenteeism, including New Bedford, Massachusetts and Chicago, Thibault said. In New York City, the wake-up calls feature the voice of former professional basketball star Magic Johnson."