For years current and retired employees of the Canada Post have answered letters to Santa, ensuring that every letter with a return address gets a response. This year however one of the elves is disgruntled and is sending some naughty letters back to kids.

Thanks to the steady hands, steal nerves and large plastic bags of the good people of The International Rhino Foundation, you can buy dad some rhinoceros dung for Christmas. With a choice between white, black, Indian and Sumatran, you are sure to find some poop to fit any fathers taste.

A school custodians after hours singing over the loudspeaker prompted a teacher to barricade herself in her room and call 911. She mistook the song, "Welcome to the Jungle" as a death threat. Who knows what she might have done had the custodian sang, "It's the end of the world as we know it."

Evidently being attacked by someone with a sword has become common enough in England that an official banning of their sale, importation, or hire has been instated. There has been no word from officials on the legality of flails, battle axes or polearms however.

samzenpus writes "Tired of living in your mother's basement? Tired of using fake names? With the help of this 430 part system you can harness the power of the internet to make all of your dreams come true. They will even provide you with your first 3 emails for free!"

samzenpus writes "How do you make an old country music standard better? This guy seems to have an Idea. I'm not sure if I like the stretching at the beginning or the props better."

I loved the Guinness Book of World Records when I was a kid but it seems they are moving away from the esoteric and into the dangerous now. I can't wait to see who gets the most steps fallen down prize next year.

So apparently Van Halen was playing a concert, and when they got to "Jump," the pre-recorded synth track was played back at 48 KHz instead of 44.1. The pathetic (CT:Heresy! Take it back take it BACK!) musicians tried to transpose 1.027346 semitones on their puny guitars, and their failure creates the most postmodern video you will see today. Also, the singer came in 20 years late.

"Giuliani, grin on his face, said it was the first time he's been asked about an intergalactic attack." Sure, he's smiling now. He won't be so cheerful when his Dominion double is ruling Earth and he's in a detention cell in the gamma quadrant.

A British mother has finally figured out the cause of depression and negativity: it's books with unhappy endings. But a cheery fire will lift our spirits.

Josh Millard brings us retro-histo -- images whose histograms match the images themselves.

It probably adjusts position really gently and carefully, but I like to imagine the stop-snoring pillow gets frustrated if you don't stop, and eventually would just haul off and whack you.

RottenNeighbor.com is the future of mashups. Of course the internet is for anonymously venting about the awful people around you. Databases of rage bring peace and understanding.

The boardroom would be a lot more interesting if it were like a chat room. This one gets the best use of lol cat award.

We got a little kiss and tell last night on Larry King Live (starts at 2:20). Kathy Griffin, who's been dating the Woz since August, is open and honest with her emotions:

Griffin: He took my dress off at the end of the night.
King: You had sex with him?
Griffin: Yes. I did. And I had a billion reasons!

goran72 writes "A new study has suggested that strands discovered in fossil hyena poop found in a South African cave, could be the oldest known human hairs. According to a report in National Geographic News, researchers discovered the rock-hard hyena dung near the Sterkfontein caves, where many early human ancestor fossils have been found."