samzenpus writes "I'm not sure how he learned his lines but this actor deserves an Academy Award for memory. I give you Rockwell Automations Retroencabulator."

One of the best things about being a scientist is that people will pay you to research strange things, like why monkeys yell during sex. It turns out the male monkeys like loud females and will have a more "vigorous" session with them. "Counting monkey pelvic thrusts is admittedly "quite weird, but it's science," researcher Dana Pfefferle, a behavioral scientist and primatologist at the German Primate Center, told LiveScience. "You get used to it.""

A man from New Zealand is trying to break the round the world speed record in a boat that runs on fuel made from human fat. I'm sure it is very buoyant but I can't imagine how awful the exhaust must smell.

samzenpus writes "Everyone gives hungry third world children money, food and education. Why not give them something a bit more festive this year?"

Have the horrors of day to day life pushed you into a world of tiny wigs, cats and your own loneliness? If so, this is the cat wig website for you.

A 12 year-old Norwegian boy saved his sister from a moose attack using tactics he learned playing WOW. He managed to 'taunt' the moose away from his sister and then 'feigned death' until the animal lost interest. I would have shielded myself and spammed my frostbolt.

samzenpus writes "This guy had a cocaine problem but with the help of the Redstone Rehabilitaion Center he's kicked the habit...well mostly."

Homeless clothing technology has taken a huge step forward by actually existing, thanks to Canadian designer Lida Baday. The coat is waterproof with pouches to hold more or less newspaper insulation depending on what the temperature is outside.

A 20 year old accused of attending a jihad training course in Scotland says that he is innocent. In fact he says he spent his time hunting for the Loch Ness Monster. This reminds me of the time Bigfoot ate my rent check.

samzenpus writes "What do you do when your cat is severely injured? Build him a mobile platform of course. I am a little disappointed that this thing doesn't have some sort of steel claw or tiny gun to shoot mice."

Things are tough economically everywhere but no place is tougher than the city of Tirupati, India where they are stealing legs. 'Holy legs' to be precise. The thieves got the original owner drunk and cut his leg off just below the knee after he passed out.

For years current and retired employees of the Canada Post have answered letters to Santa, ensuring that every letter with a return address gets a response. This year however one of the elves is disgruntled and is sending some naughty letters back to kids.

Thanks to the steady hands, steal nerves and large plastic bags of the good people of The International Rhino Foundation, you can buy dad some rhinoceros dung for Christmas. With a choice between white, black, Indian and Sumatran, you are sure to find some poop to fit any fathers taste.

A school custodians after hours singing over the loudspeaker prompted a teacher to barricade herself in her room and call 911. She mistook the song, "Welcome to the Jungle" as a death threat. Who knows what she might have done had the custodian sang, "It's the end of the world as we know it."

Evidently being attacked by someone with a sword has become common enough in England that an official banning of their sale, importation, or hire has been instated. There has been no word from officials on the legality of flails, battle axes or polearms however.

samzenpus writes "Tired of living in your mother's basement? Tired of using fake names? With the help of this 430 part system you can harness the power of the internet to make all of your dreams come true. They will even provide you with your first 3 emails for free!"

samzenpus writes "How do you make an old country music standard better? This guy seems to have an Idea. I'm not sure if I like the stretching at the beginning or the props better."

I loved the Guinness Book of World Records when I was a kid but it seems they are moving away from the esoteric and into the dangerous now. I can't wait to see who gets the most steps fallen down prize next year.

So apparently Van Halen was playing a concert, and when they got to "Jump," the pre-recorded synth track was played back at 48 KHz instead of 44.1. The pathetic (CT:Heresy! Take it back take it BACK!) musicians tried to transpose 1.027346 semitones on their puny guitars, and their failure creates the most postmodern video you will see today. Also, the singer came in 20 years late.

"Giuliani, grin on his face, said it was the first time he's been asked about an intergalactic attack." Sure, he's smiling now. He won't be so cheerful when his Dominion double is ruling Earth and he's in a detention cell in the gamma quadrant.