If you don't teach her how to field strip and reassemble her rifle with her eyes closed, who will?

Leave it to the Japanese to break down the essence of Vista into a useful product.

Pickens writes "Mankind has always had a fascination with monsters, and mythologies from around the world include stories of strange and terrifying creatures. Examples include the half-bull, half-human Minotaur of Greek myths, the living clay Golem of Jewish traditions, British elves and Chinese dragons. Live Science has an interesting photo essay on their ten favorite monsters that may have a basis in real life. Their rogue's gallery includes the Ogopogo, a mysterious monster in Canada's Lake Okanagan; the Chupacabra, that Latin Americans believe is the unholy result of secret US government experiments in the jungles of Puerto Rico; and the perennial favorite Bigfoot."

The city of Northhampton, Mass. has hired specially trained stink-sniffers to help determine whether the dump is too stinky for homeowners to stand. The super sniffers work for an Agawam environmental company and rate the stink on a scale of 1 to 8. They also carry a kit of ready-to-sniff odors of various intensities to match their findings against. I can't believe my high school guidance counselor never told me this was a viable career option.

The Florida legislature wants to protect you from one of the biggest problems facing mankind. They want to mandate that all eating establishment must have enough toilet paper when you go into the restroom. With a term as specific as 'enough' I'm sure nobody in Florida will have to ask the person in the next stall if they can spare a square.

samzenpus writes "This isn't that unusual. I've called 911 over a grilled cheese that wasn't gooey enough in the center and a salad that had too much dressing."

As proof that things are only getting worse the list of deadly sins, written in the 6th century, has just had an update. The Vatican has added pollution, mind-damaging drugs, genetic experiments, and monetary social injustice. New Line Cinema has already retained Morgan Freeman and is working on a script for 'Ten'.

Does having to look at the disadvantaged and downtrodden while you are trying to buy a $1000 pair of shoes make you feel bad? If so Esther Viti, who oversees the donation of public benches for a merchants' association in La Jolla, Ca. has the solution for you. Esther is trying to employ teams of the lethargic to take 3 hour shifts on benches in her upscale shopping district thereby replacing the dirty and poor with the more aesthetically pleasing sedentary.

15-year-old Gemma Anscomb has accepted the Corey Worthington challenge and may have surpassed his mega-party with her internet advertised celebration. When her parents got home they found their dog Bailey had overdosed on ecstasy. Their dining room floor was covered in four inches of beer, their lap-tops, iPods and jewelery had been stolen and they found handcuffs and underwear in their eight-year-old daughter's bedroom. While I appreciate the trend of giant destructive teenage parties and especially the overdosed dog, they all seem about the same to me. What they should shoot for is a party big enough to destroy a neighborhood or region.

Voters in eastern Sri Lanka were blocked from polling booths Monday by elephants. Local officials sent a team of commandos in armored personnel carriers and sirens to drive them away and clear the streets. This marks the first time the Republican party has unleashed it's army of vote busting elephants on an Island nation.

samzenpus writes "Even though Christmas has come and gone, someone is acting as a secret Santa for people in need of a new kidney. It's nice to see a story about people helping people."

Still seething in anger from his exclusion as a core race in the new 4th addition Dungeons and Dragons, a gnome has been terrorizing the streets of a small town in Argentina. The gnome, who wears a pointy hat and travels with a distinctive sideways walk, has been spotted many times according to locals.

samzenpus writes "When Chad is done with them, they'll have to phone home from the hospital."

samzenpus writes "What do you do when words fail to express exactly how you feel?"

The mayor of Sarpourenx, a small village in the southwest of France has forbidden locals from dying there. The ordinance is designed to help fight the overcrowding problem in the local cemetery. Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village that, "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish." He added, "Offenders will be severely punished." I'm pretty sure this is how a couple Twilight Zones and a Lovecraft story start.

samzenpus writes "To err is human, to forgive devine and nothing is as divine as a beautiful diamond ring."

samzenpus writes "He drove the elves out of your backyard and he's eaten that dog that won't stop barking. Isn't about time you got something special for that special subhuman in your life."

samzenpus writes "What's the point of having kids if you can't scar them for life?"

Timmy writes "Wired Science has picked ten of the best videos from YouTube and their own show on PBS to highlight the wonderful things chemistry can do. Only four of them involve fire or explosions. The rest range from music videos about the polymerase chain reaction to reactions that repeatedly change color. One shows how to pour sodium acetate stalagmites. Another shows Chris Hardwick giving instructions for building a glow stick while making absurd comments."

A UK woman who has been placing hoax 999 emergency calls for the past 24 years agreed to some unconventional therapy. Since she didn't seem to get the hint after being prosecuted 60 times, it was agreed they would try a kind of 'shock therapy'. Electrodes were taped to her fingers while doctors told her to dial 999 on a specially rigged-up phone. Every time she pressed the final digit an electrical current was passed through her body making her scream in pain. The therapy worked for 4 years before she called in a bomb threat. Officials now plan on flying her to New Jersey for some 'bat to your knees' therapy.